Beards

by Serena J Bishop

  “Yes. His name is Steven and I’ve been seeing him since March of last year.”

  “You’ve been seeing him for over a year? Why did you keep this a secret?” Sarah was floored by the new information and reached what she felt what the most logical reason. “Is it because you didn’t think people would understand? You know, because he’s black?”

  Roni rolled her eyes at the suggestion, but it was better than anything else she could think of. “Yes, it’s because he’s black.” She thought of her recent visit back home. “You know how people still disapprove of interracial relationships, especially in this area.”

  “That’s true enough. But my God, Roni.” Sarah was still in shock and had to remember to tell her landscaper that girl she had been talking about was off the market. “Are you thinking about getting married?”

  A light bulb went off over Roni’s head. “Something like that.”

  ***

  “This a really nice place,” Gina said, as she scanned the restaurant Roni had selected. The soft lighting, intimate seating, and music of a concert pianist from hidden speakers made Gina feel underdressed. Gina’s interpretation of “dress up” was her slate pin-stripe pants and a fitted, black cotton v-neck. Of course, almost every kind of shirt she owned was black.

  Roni sat in her teal green sundress with her blond hair pulled off of her neck in a simple, but elegant updo. She shook her head at Gina’s apparent unease and assured her, “You are the very definition of a handsome lady.”

  Gina broke Roni’s flirtatious gaze, embarrassed by the compliment. Roni loved that she was still able to find ways to flatter her girlfriend. The only drawback was that when she did it, Gina would avert her eyes. Roni loved Gina’s eyes—they really were the windows to her soul. And Gina’s soul was passionate, deep, and warm.

  When their waiter placed two champagne flutes on their table, Gina quirked an eyebrow and smiled. It wasn’t the anniversary of their first kiss, first date, or even first “time” together. That was their second date. “What are you up to?”

  “This is a special occasion,” Roni explained.

  “It is? Am I forgetting something that you’re going to be mad at me about later?”

  “No, you’re not forgetting anything.” Roni winced slightly, “But before I tell you why it’s a special occasion, I do have to tell you something that you’ll probably be upset about.”

  “That’s an interesting way to start explaining a special occasion.”

  Roni sipped her water to clear her throat—the champagne was for later. “Sarah never showed up for lunch today, but the blind date she set up for me did.”

  Gina’s mouth dropped in horror. “She did what?”

  “You heard me correctly. As soon as he told me why he was there, I left and called Sarah to yell at her.”

  “Good! Can I yell at her too?”

  “That won’t be necessary, because when Sarah told me I needed to date, I said that I was already seeing Steven.”

  “Roni,” she said as patiently as she could, “you know this could have been avoided if you had just told her you were dating Steven from the beginning. It’s not like you hadn’t been out with him before.”

  “You know I don’t like to put my personal business out there.” Steven and Early had been shocked to learn that Roni was even more secretive about her personal life than Steven was.

  “Can we fast forward to the part where this is a special occasion? Because right now I’m feeling fairly agitated.”

  Roni nodded and straightened her posture. With her hair up, exposing her long neck, she appeared confident and regal. That was exactly how she needed to feel to ask the questions she needed to. “Gina, do you see yourself with me in six months?” she asked, her voice unwavering, but her eyes tinted with vulnerability.

  That question was a one-eighty from where Gina thought Roni was headed, but at least it wasn’t a hard question to answer. “Absolutely.”

  “How about a year from now? Five years? Ten years?”

  “I hope for all of those. Roni, I love you.” Gina leaned across their small candlelit table. “What are you getting at?”

  Roni bit her lower lip anxiously. “If we were allowed to, would you marry me?”

  Gina moved her mouth to speak, but no words would come. She cocked her head to the side, as if that would help her mute state. After a few more moments, it did. “Married, as in, we pledge to honor and love each other until death do us part, married?”

  “Yes,” Roni confirmed with a bashful smile, “that kind of married.”

  “Well, I figured if that ever happened I’d be the one to ask you.” Gina’s dimple peaked at Roni when she smiled. “But, yes. I’d say yes.”

  “I would make that vow now too, if I could.” She looked dreamily at Gina. “But we could have that kind of life—living in the same home and sleeping in the same bed if Steven and I made a public commitment to each other.”

  “You want to marry Steven?” The idea of Roni pledging her love to someone that wasn’t her was like a knife to the heart—even if it was a fake.

  “No, of course not. We don’t have to go that far. We could buy a house just outside of the city and my school district. With four incomes, we could afford something with in-law quarters or a good rental property in the basement.” An edge of desperation tainted her voice. “We could live together, Gina, and have our own space. Steven and Early could have their own space. And all four of us could be together as a family.”

  At the word “family” Gina admitted softly, “That does sound nice.” She’d live the same life she was living, but would have Roni by her side. “I don’t know. It sounds too good to be true. What if Steven and Early broke up?”

  “Isn’t that the same risk you have now?” She waited as she allowed Gina to think about her answer. “Steven and Early are committed to each other. I want to commit myself to you.”

  “I want that too, but we’ve never lived together, Roni. We’ve never even held the same schedule. I’m afraid you’ll,” Gina dipped her head down, “fall out of love with me.”

  Roni regarded her seriously, “I love you, Gina. Do you honestly think there is a single thing I don’t know about you? Or vice versa?” Between the road trip to Provincetown and taking turns with a stomach virus, they had learned plenty of details about the other person. In a sing-song voice, Roni added, “We could get our own bathroom.”

  Gina smirked. “Now, you’re just playing dirty. But I really do hate sharing a bathroom with Early. He shaves everything and the hair gets everywhere.” Gina shifted forward in her seat again. “Have you mentioned this to Steven or Early by any chance?”

  Roni shook her head adamantly. “No, absolutely not. If you weren’t okay with it then I was just going to drop it. Gina, I think this could work, really work.”

  “I think you’ve convinced me enough to ask them, but even if they don’t go for it,” Gina picked up her champagne, “I still pledge my life and love to you.”

  “And my life and love to you.” Roni clinked her flute against Gina’s.

  ***

  The four of them sat around the dining table in the Fields-Thibodeaux-DiCarlo apartment after they demolished an Italian feast featuring Gina’s eggplant Parmigiana. Once Steven and Early’s bellies were happy, Roni and Gina held hands in solidarity as they proposed their master plan of commitment and suburban living.

  “Oh my God, you just realized this was an option? Steven and I started talking about this months ago,” exclaimed Early. “Didn’t we Steven?”

  “We did. We just weren’t sure if you two were ready to make that kind of commitment to each other,” Steven said and casually folded his muscular arms on the table. “How are we going to do this? And when?”

  “Well, I just had my final and the school year will be done in a few weeks. I could house hunt actively. Then, hopefully, we could correspond moving into a home with the termination of our leases, or at least sublet until that time. That would save u
s a lot of money.”

  “Great!” Early was completely on board with saving money. He didn’t need traditional schooling to learn how to pinch pennies when he had traveled from Baton Rouge to DC. That education was courtesy of the School of Life. “So, we buy a house, Roni gets hitched to my man, and we can all live happily ever after.”

  “Married?” Roni and Gina exclaimed simultaneously.

  “Why not?” Early wondered. “You’re married to me. That would make the whole arrangement more believable if we’re really going the distance.”

  “He has a point,” Steven said, “and if I was married the guys at the station would stop hounding me and Monica would get off my damn back already.” The only thing Monica asked of Steven was that he settle and start a family before she developed Alzheimer’s, like their mother, too.

  Roni saw the hurt in Gina’s eyes from the mere suggestion of her marrying Steven. “I don’t know guys—”

  “It’s okay, Roni.”

  “But Gina...I can tell you don’t want me to do that.”

  “Of course, I don’t want you to do that. And I don’t want to live in a society that treats gays like second-class citizens or pariahs. However, I do want to wake up and go to bed in your arms everyday and I do want Steven to be happy. I can put aside my own feelings for the good of everyone I love.”

  Roni cupped Gina’s jaw and kissed her tenderly. “You’re a wonderful woman.”

  “You are. Thank you, Gina.” Steven wasn’t an emotional man, but he was deeply touched by his best friend’s sentiment.

  Early nodded his agreement. “That was a fucking beautiful speech. Very romantic.”

  Roni hadn’t taken her eyes off of Gina’s. “She’s a hopeless romantic. Always has been.”

  FOUR MONTHS LATER, SEPTEMBER 1992

  GINA SAT ON THE EDGE of the bed and watched Roni walk out from their bathroom. Those were two things that still boggled her mind. One, she had a master bathroom. And two, she shared that master bathroom with Roni. She patted the area next to her for Roni to sit.

  Roni leaned her head against Gina’s shoulder and felt an arm wrap around her.

  “Are you okay?” Gina murmured into Roni’s ear and kissed her temple.

  Roni smiled sadly. “I’m fine. I just feel weird. This is my last night as a single woman.”

  “You don’t have to go through with this if you’re having second thoughts. I’m sure Steven will understand. Early might not. But Steven would.”

  Roni chuckled. “I still can’t believe how excited Early is. The toast he led at dinner was very touching.” Dinner had only consisted of the four of them, but since Early was the best man he gave a small speech. Early spoke about how he had grown up in a home with very little love or stability, but now he lived in a home with people who did nothing but love each other.

  “I’ll admit to getting misty-eyed.”

  “Misty-eyed? You bawled.”

  “Potato-potahto.” Gina grinned and shifted to hold Roni’s hand. “It wasn’t just Early’s speech that had me so emotional. I had other things on my mind too.”

  Roni let out an exasperated sigh. “Are you still worried about living so close to Three Mile Island? I told you we’re fine. The EPA says we’re fine.”

  Gina shook her head and smiled. “No, that’s not it. I have a present for you and you get this present even if you decide you don’t want to marry Steven tomorrow.” Gina opened her nightstand drawer to get the gift.

  Roni watched in confusion. “Socks? You’re giving me socks?”

  Gina took the sizable athletic sock ball in her hands and began to untuck the end. A small box emerged, revealing a simple diamond ring inside. She delicately removed the ring out from the padding and held it. “Steven never got you an engagement ring.”

  “Gina, you didn’t have to do this. Wearing a plain band will be enough of a reminder that I’m married to him.”

  “There’s an inscription.” Gina held the ring out for Roni to take.

  Roni did so and angled it under the lamp to read, I love you ∞ Gina. Now, Roni understood why Gina was so serious. This wasn’t supposed to be her phony engagement ring from Steven. This was a real wedding ring from Gina. “Gina?” Roni whispered, emotion clouding her voice.

  Gina removed the ring from Roni’s trembling hold and then slid the symbol onto Roni’s ring finger. “Roni, you’re the most considerate and gentle woman I’ve ever met. You make me feel appreciated and beautiful and loved. No one before you has ever done that.” Gina watched the emerald eyes before her start to glisten. “I want you to know that every part of my heart and soul will always be with you and that I consider you to be my wife. I want you to remember that every time you see this ring.”

  Roni stared at the ring on her hand. She never thought she would see the day she would have a ring on her finger from the woman she loved. The feeling overwhelmed her.

  Gina grinned anxiously from Roni’s silence. “I’m sorry about the infinity sign, but I was kept to a character limit.”

  Roni laughed, breaking out from her emotional haze, and allowed happy tears to fall. “Don’t worry about that. I love everything about it.” She held Gina’s face gently between her hands. “I promise, I’ll always remember that you’re my wife and that I’m yours. I will always keep this ring closest to my heart.” She kissed Gina deeply, hoping to covey her emotions in that one action. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too.”

  ***

  “Steven! Steven!”

  Early and Gina’s mouths dropped and Steven’s eyes widened when they all saw the plump black woman who called Steven’s name. Steven straightened his gray suit and jogged down the steps to meet the newcomer.

  Roni, in her lilac maxi dress and hair up, turned to look over her shoulder at the person yelling her soon-to-be-husband’s name on the steps of the courthouse. “Is that who I think it is?”

  Early and Gina both said, “Monica.”

  “Steven called her this morning to tell her of the ‘elopement’. I guess she drove here from Trenton as soon as she got off of the phone. Just tell her that her hair reminds you of Oprah’s and you’ll be fine,” Early suggested and picked a piece of lint off his suit.

  After Steven embraced his sister and she smacked him on the arm several times, they bounded the steps together. Monica’s light-footedness surprised them all. “Monica, I think you remember my partner, Gina, and her husband, Early.”

  “Hello. Nice to see you again,” Early said convincingly with a handshake.

  “Likewise,” Gina added, but without the handshake. She had reached to shake Monica’s hand the first time they met at an awards ceremony for Steven, but was rebuffed.

  Monica was very old-fashioned when it came to gender roles and was not pleased that her baby brother had a woman responsible as his backup. Gina was put off by the handshake refusal, but also relieved. Monica had fingernails that were more like colorful claws.

  “Hello, Gina,” Monica said half-hearted and turned her eyes to the bride. “You must be Veronica. The woman who stole my Steven’s heart.”

  “Hi.” Roni put her hand out to shake. “I’m glad that you were able to come.”

  “Oh, heaven’s me! Give me a hug. You’re family now.” Roni disappeared for a moment, covered by Monica’s natural mass and gold shawl. After she squeezed Roni and welcomed her to the family, she eyed her new sister-in-law up and down. The face was good, but the hips were questionable. She was not going to be getting a lot of nieces and nephews out of her. “Why you’re just a tiny thing, but I love your little dress. Lilac’s one of my favorite colors.”

  Early whispered to Gina, “That dress is the new highlight of my ‘Purple Rain’ routine.”

  Roni smiled cordially at Monica. “Well, it seemed to be a dress appropriate for the occasion and within the budget.”

  “Oh!” Everything made sense to Monica—the purple dress, the last minute wedding. “Oh, my good Lord! How far along are you?�
��

  “I’m sorry,” Roni didn’t understand, but then caught on and shifted from being puzzled to alarmed. Very alarmed. “Oh no! You don’t understand we—”

  “Didn’t want to say anything until the second trimester,” finished Steven, looking proud.

  Roni, Gina, and Early slowly turned to him in shock.

  Monica reached out and patted Roni’s lower abdomen. “I understand. Sometimes it’s best not to say anything until a little later. You know, in case there’s an accident with the baby.” She gave Roni another, more gentle, hug. “Normally, I’d be giving you both a lecture about the sins of premarital relations, but I’m just so happy. Thank you for making me an Auntie, Mrs. Fields.”

  “Mrs. Fields?” Gina asked even more horrified. She was still reeling from the idea of Roni being pregnant. Pregnant meant a baby. Babies were small, helpless, loud, and terrifying.

  “Well, Mrs. Fields is her name now, isn’t it?” She stared directly at Gina. “A good wife takes her husband’s name.” Monica did not accept Gina’s reasoning for not changing DiCarlo to Thibodeaux when she married Early. Of course, her reasoning of, “I don’t look Cajun”, didn’t hold much water with anybody.

  Early stifled his laughter as Gina’s face grew redder and her knuckles became white. Eventually, he turned away so he could break the tension in his facial muscles and smile freely.

  When Gina lacked a snappy comeback, Monica directed her attention back to her soon to be sister-in-law. “So, Mrs. Fields, can I call you Cookie? You look like a Cookie.”

  “I...ah...sure.” The simple day at the courthouse had turned into a nightmare. Now, she was getting married because of a fictitious baby and she had the nickname of a baked good.

  The main door to the courthouse opened and a security guard stepped out. “Fields, you’re up.”

  Roni and Steven nodded in acknowledgment, but it was Monica who excitedly led the group into the building. “It’s showtime!”

  Steven and Early walked side by side, hands stuffed in their pockets, behind Monica. “You two coming?” asked Early when he realized Gina and Roni had yet to join them.