After Me

by Joyce Scarbrough

  I held up my hand and touched the ring. “The stone is called Apache Tears, and there’s a legend behind it. I guess I can tell you that much at least.” I told her the story and said, “Isn’t that cool?”

  “Yeah, it is,” she said. “But there’s something else I want to know, and you don’t have to get Lew’s permission to tell me.”

  “What?”

  “Is he a good kisser?”

  I slung an arm around her shoulders. “He’s even better at that than he is at chess.”

  When we got off the bus at school, I saw Lew standing with Sidney and the guys. My stomach did a little flip just at the sight of him. He smiled and took my hand as soon as we walked up to the group.

  “Might as well bite the bullet and let everybody know about us,” he whispered in my ear. “Hope you’re okay with it.”

  “Sure,” I said.

  Justin and Leonard were staring at us in obvious surprise, but Sidney looked like he was almost about to cry.

  “Sorry, guys,” Lew said. “I fought her off as long as I could, but she wore me down.”

  “Yeah, right,” I said. “He thinks this means I’ll do his chemistry homework for him, but he’s wrong.”

  When the bell rang, Lew walked me to my locker and said he’d see me at lunch. I wanted to ask him about how much I could tell Annalee, so I said, “Hey, can we skip lunch and go somewhere to talk?”

  “Why, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I just need to ask you about something in private.”

  “Can it wait until after school? Eating’s kind of a habit with me.” He rubbed his stomach and gave me a doleful look.

  I laughed. “It’s overrated if you ask me, but I guess we can talk after school so you won’t die of starvation.”

  After Lew left, I hurried to catch up with Sidney. “Hey, I hope you’re not mad at me for going out with Lew.”

  He kept walking without looking at me. “Why should it matter to me?”

  “Aw, don’t be like that, Sid.” I linked my arm with his. “You know it never works out when good friends date each other. I didn’t want to risk losing your friendship.”

  His expression softened a little. “I guess I know what you mean.”

  “Great,” I said. “Besides, I can tell you don’t want to be tied down to one girl anyway. You’re too much of a player for that, right?”

  He struggled not to smile. “Yeah, there’s a couple of girls on the DerpWar forum who always flirt with me. It drives Leonard crazy.”

  Typical of high school grapevines, everyone had heard about me and Lew by lunchtime. Judging by the comments I got from several girls throughout the morning, I could tell that his nerdy persona had shielded him from their radar only slightly, especially considering the car he drove and his family’s money. They had probably assumed he must be gay when he wasn’t interested in any of them, so it brought out their claws to find out he’d passed them over for street trash. Made my morning fun at least.

  When Lew and I walked into Mr. Forrester’s classroom together sixth period, Matt said, “Damn, Stanton. You go from trust fund babies to a streetwalker. Bet your mama’s thrilled.”

  “She is,” I said. “We’re getting a mani-pedi together after school today, then she’s taking me shoe shopping. Streetwalking’s hell on the Manolo Blahniks.”

  Lew laughed and Matt looked surprised that neither of us got mad at his insult. Now that I knew the reason behind their feud, I understood why Lew usually ignored his comments, but I had to wonder how much they really bothered him. It couldn’t have been easy to lose his brother and his best friend at the same time.

  “Don’t forget our talk after school,” I told Lew when we sat down.

  “I won’t, but I have chess practice,” he said. “Mr. Weston told us he’d be late because there’s a faculty meeting, so I can slip away for a little while after I get everybody started.”

  “Okay, where do you want me to wait for you?”

  He thought for a few seconds. “Mr. Weston’s room is on the back hall by the football field. Meet me behind the bleachers on the gym side.”

  I gave him a sideways look. “Slipping back into your old jock ways, huh?”

  He winked at me. “Hey, do you want to be a chess team groupie or not?”

  * * *

  I called Karen from the office after school to let her know I’d be home a little later than usual, then I went to sit in the bleachers and wait for Lew.

  Football practice was going on out on the field, and one of the coaches—a tall blond man with bulging muscles—was yelling at a group of players on the near sideline about how they needed to read the other team’s offense from the way they lined up. When he finished his profanity-laced rant, all the players started to run back onto the field, but the coach grabbed one of them by the facemask and pulled him back.

  “Get your ass in my office, Winston!”

  Matt took off his helmet and tried to protest. “Coach Morton said I could take some snaps at quarterback since Scott—”

  “I don’t give a damn what he told you!” The coach shoved him toward the gym. “You’ll be lucky if I let you dress out Friday at all!”

  “But I been working extra hard, Coach.” Matt’s voice had a pleading note to it. “I knocked a quarter second off my forty time and beat all my maxes in weight training.”

  “Yeah, I know how you did it too,” the coach said. “And we don’t need no juicers on this team!”

  As they passed the bleachers where I was sitting, the man glanced up in my direction. I gasped when I saw solid black eyes looking back at me. I knew he’d noticed mine too when he stopped.

  “Come see me in my office when I’m done with this moron, young lady.” He pushed Matt forward again. “We can talk about that eye problem of yours then.”

  He walked away before I recovered enough to respond. I was still thinking about all of it when Lew arrived a minute later.

  “Okay, what’s up?” he said as he sat beside me.

  “Hey, what are juicers?”

  “Steroid users.” He looked confused. “That’s what you wanted to ask me about?”

  “No, I just heard one of the coaches call Matt one.”

  His expression went rapidly from surprise to concern to anger.

  “Damn it, I can’t believe he’d do something so stupid!” He kicked the bench in front of us. “I guess he figured he’d never make it in college ball unless he got bigger.”

  Uh-huh. So he did still care about Matt as a friend. I realized we needed more time to talk than he had right now, so I made a quick decision.

  “Look, I didn’t think about it before, but I’m gonna need a ride home now since I missed the bus. Why don’t I hang out here until you’re done with practice, then you can take me home and we’ll talk in the car.”

  He seemed relieved at my suggestion, probably because he needed time to process the news about Matt. “Okay, I’ll meet you here in an hour.” He jumped down then turned and motioned for me to lean over. “Sure you don’t want to go under the bleachers with me for a few minutes like a good little groupie?”

  I shoved him. “Watch it, Triple C.”

  Ten minutes after Lew left, Matt stormed out of the gym, his face as red as his practice jersey. He rejoined the players on the field, but I didn’t know enough about football to tell if it was the offense or defense. I looked at the gym and saw the coach with the black eyes standing in the doorway. He crooked a finger to summon me, so I walked over and followed him inside to his office.

  “Close the door and have a seat,” he said, sitting behind the desk. He leaned back in his chair and folded the biggest arms I’d ever seen outside of Hollywood. “How long have you been a Transdead Trustee?”

  I pulled a chair in front of the desk and sat down. “Just a few weeks. How ‘bout you?”

  “Way too long—since I was your age. What’s your name?”

  He didn’t look much older than eighteen, so I had no idea how
long he meant.

  “My real name’s Jada, but I go by Gwen now. I’m supposed to be a foster kid who used to live on the streets.”

  He nodded. “What’s your assignment?”

  “It’s kinda complicated.” I wasn’t eager to tell him how I’d messed around with online predators. “Let’s just say I’m an advocate for girls who need somebody to stand up for them.”

  He stared at me a moment, then a smile spread slowly across his face. “You broke my quarterback’s arm, didn’t you?”

  “What makes you say that?” Despite his smile, I wasn’t sure he’d be okay with everything I’d done to Scott.

  “Yeah, you did it.” He laughed outright. “No wonder he made up that crazy shit about getting jumped. Couldn’t let everybody know he got his ass kicked by a girl. What’d he do to piss you off?”

  I told him about the roofie parties and how I’d put the fear of Zombie Girl into Scott. He seemed to get such a kick out of it all that I decided to trust him with a little bit more inside information.

  “Hey, just so you know, Matt Winston wasn’t part of it. In fact, he was the only guy who stood up for Caitlin—the girl who told me what they did. He got her out of there and made sure she got home safe.”

  His face sobered as he considered that a few seconds. “Might be because he couldn’t get it up. Juicers have that problem sometimes.”

  “Okay, TMI.” I held up my hand. “But that’s not why he helped her. I just thought you should know he’s not a total asshole.”

  He shrugged. “I know he’s not the first kid stupid enough to think football is worth risking your life over. I think I knocked some sense into him today, so maybe he’ll stay off the juice from now on.”

  I looked from his huge arms back to his face. “That’s your assignment, isn’t it?” He nodded and I said, “Is that how you died?”

  “No, but it played a big part in how I screwed up my life so bad that I ended up with my car wrapped around a tree.” He stared at his clenched fists a second then sighed. “But that’s a long story you don’t want to hear. Trust me.”

  “Okay, but I do have a question for you,” I said. “You said before that you’ve been a Trustee for a long time. If you’re doing what you’re supposed to do and helping guys like Matt, why are you still here? Is there another part to your assignment?”

  “Not that I know of. I’m still here because I broke the rules.” He sighed again, and the look on his face was filled with the deepest sadness I’d ever seen. “See, there was this girl I loved when I was alive. I lost her because I was stupid for a long time before I ever did any drugs, but I never stopped loving her. Still haven’t.”

  “You tried to contact her?”

  “No, but I keep tabs on her. You know, to be sure she’s happy. The Internet makes that easy to do even when I’m nowhere near her.” He looked up with a little smile. “And I might’ve sent her a few anonymous birthday gifts.”

  I shook my head in amazement. “You gave up forever to stay here with her, and you can’t even talk to her.”

  “It’s worth it.” He seemed to be looking at something in the distance that only he could see. “I always knew she was the closest I was ever gonna get to Heaven.”

  I could tell he truly had no regrets about the choices he’d made. I couldn’t help envying him for knowing his own heart so well and having the courage to follow it. And I also wished I’d had the chance to love somebody as much as he loved that girl.

  “Anyway,” he said, “just because I screwed up my own assignment doesn’t mean I can’t help you with yours if you need it.” He wrote down a number on a slip of paper and held it out to me. “Call or come see me anytime you need to talk to somebody who knows what you’re going through.”

  “Thanks, Coach.” I took the paper and stood up to go.

  He held out one of his huge hands for me to shake. “You can call me Wade.”

  When I left the gym a few minutes later and walked back to the bleachers to wait for Lew, I saw Matt watching me from the field.

  * * *

  Annalee was with Lew when he met me after chess practice.

  “He took my backpack and won’t give it back,” she said. “I told him I didn’t need a ride home but he won’t listen. I can take the bus like I always do.”

  “Oh, let him play chauffeur,” I said. “It makes him feel like he’s in touch with the common people.”

  Lew laughed and picked up my bag too. “I told her you wouldn’t mind, but she’s kinda hardheaded.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I linked my arm with hers as we walked to the parking lot. “It’s one of the things we have in common.”

  After we dropped off Annalee at her house, I told Lew to go somewhere we could talk. He suggested one of the outdoor cafés in CocoWalk, the ritzy shopping village inside Coconut Grove. When we were seated outside the Cheesecake Factory with a huge slice of dulce de leche caramel between us that looked so delicious it made me wish I still had taste buds, I asked him how much I could tell Annalee.

  “She noticed my ring on the bus this morning and remembered that you wear one like it. I told her the Apache legend but not how it applies to you.”

  He took a bite of cheesecake then fed one to me. “You can tell her anything you want. I’m sure she won’t say anything to anyone.”

  “I know she won’t,” I said, “but I had to ask you first. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she knows not to let on that you’re Superman underneath those Oxfords.”

  “Yeah, well…” He took another bite. “She kinda knows that already.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He sighed. “Remember I told you about the time I took her home and her mother and some creep were both wasted? The guy said something to Annalee on their way out the door, and I guess he didn’t like what she said back because he shoved her inside the apartment and made her fall down.” He rubbed the knuckles of his right hand. “I got out of my car and told him not to put his hands on her again. When he told me to fuck off, I broke his jaw.”

  And that was when Annalee had fallen in love with him. I knew it as surely as I knew that Rufus was sporting a stylish new toe tag.

  “Wow, I’m impressed that you only broke his jaw,” I said. “I would’ve broken every bone in that ugly face of his.”

  He frowned. “You’ve seen him there? I told Annalee to let me know if he came back.”

  I made a disgusted noise. “Yeah, her mom can’t seem to stay away from him. I’m sure Annalee didn’t want you to know that.”

  The crease between his brows deepened. “Did he try anything with you?”

  “Hey, I thought you told me you solved your problems without resorting to… what did you call them? Barbarian tactics.”

  “This is different. You don’t have to put up with anybody mistreating you ever again.”

  I covered his hand with mine and leaned across the table to kiss him. “Thanks, but I can take care of myself, especially with a scrawny maggot like him. Trust me, I convinced him that if he wanted to keep his balls attached to his body, he’d stay away from Annalee for good. I’d be willing to bet you that hot rod you drive that he won’t be back.”

  “Remind me not to ever make you mad at me,” he said.

  I grazed his chin with my fist. “You’re wicked smart, Triple C.”

  He got quiet while we finished the cheesecake, and I wondered if he was thinking about Matt.

  “So are you gonna say anything to your boy about the steroids?”

  His surprised look told me I’d guessed right. “No, I’m sure that would only make things worse.”

  “Might be worth a shot,” I said. “Have you tried to talk to him at all since everything happened?”

  He shook his head. “He made it clear he doesn’t want to talk to me about anything.”

  “Male ego much?” I sighed. “Guys are such tools.”

  “You know, maybe you’re right,” he said. “I should invite him over for a slumber par
ty. We can talk while I do his hair and makeup.”

  I reached across the table and shoved him. “Yeah, just remember not to take him around your girlfriend or she might flirt with him all night and totally ignore you.”

  He laughed and shoved me back. “Hey, I’m okay with that as long as I’m the one who gets kissed at the end of the night.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Julian was so charged with adrenaline when he left McCarthy’s office that he had to duck into the executive washroom before someone noticed his inappropriate state. He was finally getting the respect and recognition he deserved, and the exhilaration was like an aphrodisiac. For the first time in his life, he had an erection that had nothing to do with young girls.

  McCarthy was considering a land purchase for a new resort development, and he was sending Julian to evaluate the property and meet with the principals, then report back to him on the deal. Never mind that all his usual purchasing agents were tied up with a big merger they were negotiating and that McCarthy himself couldn’t go because he had another of his phantom illnesses. He clearly felt that Julian was the best man for the job.

  This was the first step up the corporate ladder that Julian had been waiting for. He was sick of being McCarthy’s lapdog and pandering to him and his bitch of a wife. Her condescending attitude and frequent insults at Julian’s expense almost made him wish he could add her to his list of conquests. If her aging body hadn’t repulsed him completely, he’d wipe that mocking look off her Botoxed face for good.

  But he didn’t have time to dwell on any of that now. He had to go home and pack, and he couldn’t leave without making sure everything was safely hidden away from prying eyes. The one other time he’d gone away overnight with McCarthy on business, he’d felt certain his mother had been snooping around in his apartment while he was gone. Of course, his laptop and box of souvenirs had been with him, and the items he used to kill the girls were hidden under the spare tire in his car. But she could have found the collection of magazines he still had from his adolescence, before he’d discovered the wealth of material available on the Internet. Fortunately, she was way too large to fit inside his closet where they were hidden.