Charm School Christmas Karma: A Steamy Holiday Romance

by Lynn Carmer

  The music blared, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town” and the crowd jumped to their feet.

  “Ole Kris Kringle himself,” she read. “he will be handing out the gift bags. Please consider leaving a donation to keep our charm school open, and book a space for one of our adult classes.”

  All swagger and no hesitation, Dare owned the stage, tossing gifts out to the crowd from the giant bag slung over his shoulder. After a good ten minutes, he bowed low and set the sack to the side. Kissing Dacey on the cheek, he reached for the mic and said, “Has this been an amazing night, or what?”

  The crowd screamed its approval.

  “All the guys? I need you out here. Now. Everyone who participated.”

  All of the men lined the back of the stage. Sebastian filed in directly behind Dare.

  “I can’t let the night go by without thanking all of these guys for participating. How about a round of applause, please?”

  Sebastian searched the crowd, but Ai still hadn’t returned to her seat. No worries. If he knew anything, that woman would keep her word. He might not see her tonight, but they would have a date.

  “I also want to thank the amazing Calvo Quads who have taken over Ms. Belle’s Charm School and brought it back to life. Dacey here,” the applause deafened the room when Dare pointed at Dacey, “Athena and Brynn who are sitting in the second row,” the applause grew, “and finally can we get the sexiest schoolmarm in the world out here, Caelen. She organized every part of this charity auction, making sure things ran smoothly in the back. Come on out!”

  Caelen smiled and blew kisses to her throngs of fans. Sebastian chuckled to himself, surprised Caelen hadn’t become an actress. She ate up the attention.

  Eventually, Dare made his way over to her, and set the microphone on a stool beside them. He held her hands, gazing into her eyes.

  Caelen’s smile froze and her eyes widened. She took a step back, but he gripped her hands. “What are you doing? Please, stop looking at me like that.” Her high voice boomeranged through the crowd.

  “It’s time, baby. To make it official.”

  Caelen burst into tears.

  Sebastian looked around and almost took a step forward. The woman looked seriously distressed instead of happy. Holy hell. Poor Dare. She was going to devastate him, in front of all these people. He knew the feeling, and it sucked.

  Dare chuckled. “I’ve loved you since we played Seven Minutes in Heaven in this very school. Upstairs, in Ms. Belle’s closet.” He bent down on one knee. “I lost you once, and I vowed I would never lose you again.”

  Caelen covered her eyes, tears leaking between her fingers.

  “I want you in my life, forever.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a dazzling rock. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  “What? I can’t…” She pressed a palm against her stomach. “I can’t breathe. My Spanx are too tight.” Caelen steadied herself on his shoulders and sank to the ground.

  “Baby, I love you more than anything.” Dare held the box in his hands.

  She wailed and threw her arms around his neck. “I’m.” Kiss. “So.” Kiss, kiss. “Mad at you.” She punched him in the chest.

  Dare smiled at the crowd. “Give her a minute. She’ll get there.”

  “Oh, my Gucci, I can’t believe you’re torturing me like this!” Then she laid on the floor. Of the stage.

  Sebastian was speechless. What is happening?

  The audience tittered nervously, not sure where this was going. Sebastian wanted to bolt but kept his arms crossed and his face neutral. No way he’d embarrass Dare by cringing.

  “It’s too much,” she wailed. “Everything is so perfect now. I don’t…I’m scared to ruin it.” She looked down at her clothes. “Look at what I’m wearing. This isn’t a proposal outfit.”

  Dare laughed as everyone waited on the edge of their seats.

  Are there proposal outfits? Fascinated, Sebastian watched the exchange. No matter how many protests Caelen made, Dare softly rebuked them and waited. It went on so long, yet no one got up to leave.

  “You promised you wouldn’t do this for another year.”

  “I lied.” He popped open the velvet box. “At least look at the rock. Did I do good?”

  She sat up and wiped a trail of back goo from under her eyes. “You know I’m an ugly crier.”

  “What do you think?” he asked, still propped up on one knee.

  “It’s beautiful,” she sniffed. “But it wouldn’t matter if it was Cubic Zirconia. I swear, I love you so much. I just…you know. I get overwhelmed about marriage and…and…”

  “I know.”

  “Is that a yes?” someone yelled.

  “Oh God, did I forget that part?” She giggled and then snorted. “Yes! Please, yes. I’m sorry, I’m such a basket case. Yes.”

  Dare dove at her. The two rolled around the stage, laughing and crying.

  It was like a bomb exploded. People stormed the stage, surrounding the happy couple. All of Caelen’s sisters, Dare, his brother, all of the Ladies that Lunch, and more. It was barely controlled chaos.

  Sebastian had hoped to get one last glimpse of his fierce date, but she was nowhere to be seen. For the first time in almost a year, since his move to California, he felt optimistic.

  Chapter 4

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  Ai gazed at her newest sculpture, a bronze behemoth recently commissioned by MoMA. But she couldn’t focus. She only saw blue, icy-blue popsicles, peonies, and white-hot flames that seared her from within. All the color of Sebastian’s unforgettable eyes.

  Holy moly. The look on Sebastian’s face right before she’d agreed to the date. Swoon worthy. That look had challenged her, defied her, to say no. If he ever figured out that she never turned down a challenge, she was doomed.

  The whole idea tore her down the middle. Did she want to go on a stupid date? No. Did she want to sit on his face and ride him till the sun came up. Hell yes.

  Her doorbell rang to the theme music of Stranger Things, her latest and greatest obsession. Yes, still.

  She ignored it until it rang again. And again. It could only be one person. The interloper obviously didn’t understand she was being ignored, so Ai headed toward the front of the house.

  I’ll kill her.

  She stomped over to the door and left the chain locked, only allowing a few inches of her face to show. “Go away.”

  “How’s my favorite artist this morning?” Dacey sang in her obnoxiously sunny voice.

  “We don’t want any.” She shut the door, seriously furious with her friend for interfering. There was no way she believed she’d bid on that muscled piece of southern charm.

  Ai took two steps away from the door and heard, “I brought someone who really wants to see you.”

  For a moment. Ai panicked, convinced the cop must be lurking on the side of the house.

  “She’s going to be howling mad if she doesn’t see you. She may even bark at the moon. if she doesn’t get to lick up your face.”

  “Teddy?” The stone around Ai’s heart cracked the tiniest bit.

  “How’d you guess?” Dacey chuckled. “Come on, I’m hungry. and we need to talk. You know we do.”

  Ai slid open the chain and crouched down to greet Teddy, the wiggling bundle of apricot love. “Hello, my sweet girl.”

  Teddy launched into her lap, wiggling and squirming until Ai wrapped her arms around the puppy.

  “Come in, Teddy. You’re always welcome.” Ai grabbed the Goldendoodle’s leash and ignored her friend. Dacey followed anyway, not taking the hint.

  Jesús meandered by, a clump of clay in his hands. “Hola, sexy mami. My name’s Jesús.”

  “Do you seriously not remember? You watched me and my boyfriend getting busy up in Ai’s tee pee a few months back.” Dacey brushed her curls out of her face. “He busted your lip open, remember?”

  “Hijole! That’s right. I didn’t recognize you standing up. You know, as an artist, can I say
that the two of you together was a thing of beauty. Pure love, ese. It was worth the pain.”

  Ai glowered at the flighty squatter. “Get that clay out of my house. You’re dripping on my hardwood floors.”

  “But I needed to get something.”

  Ai kissed Teddy between the eyes and stood. “One more time, and you’re out on your ass. One. More. Time.”

  “Whatever you say, Boss Lady. No problema. It’ll never happen again. You have my word on it.” Jesús, as usual, completely blowing smoke up her ass, winked at Dacey. As usual. “Hey, you guys want a snack or something. I made guacamole.”

  “Hells yes. Please. I’m starving.” Dacey clapped.

  Ai’s shoulders relaxed as she led Dacey and the pup into the living room. Jesús made the best Mexican food. One of the reasons she hadn’t booted the starving artist out on his ass. He and his buddy Nacho had moved in almost a year ago. She’d heard eight thousand excuses as to why they couldn’t leave—the latest of which was the stock market crash. From 2009. “You’re forgiven, for now. But I want chips, guac, and some margaritas in here STAT.”

  “All right, if you don’t mind me joining you, we can get the party—”

  “I mind. Get out.”

  Dacey flopped onto a pile of pillows on the floor, and Teddy followed.

  Ai sat across from them and the boisterous dog zoomed back and forth, unable to decide whose lap she should cuddle in.

  “I can’t believe you have the cojones to show your face after what you did. You knew I didn’t bid. I would never do something like that. You think I need to pay for my dates?”

  “Um…” Dacey suddenly became obsessed with a seam in her jeans. “No?”

  “What the hell does that mean?” Ai threw up her hands. “Do you seriously—”

  “Here we go. Guacamole, homemade chips, and fresh margaritas. With none of that store-bought crap. I even squeezed homemade limes.”

  Dacey dove in as Ai shooed him away.

  “I am at your service.” Jesús bowed and backed out of the room.

  “Well?”

  “Wait, let me fortify my strength, and I promise to make this right.” Dacey scooped up a tablespoon of green ambrosia on a fat chip. “I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten all day.

  “Eat up, Curly-cue. Because if you don’t make this right, we’re going to have a big problem.”

  “I know it was a shocker. But what exactly are you objecting to?”

  Ai’s mouth dropped open. “You lied and said I bid on that blond behemoth.”

  “Your hand went up. In fact, both hands went up.” She spoke through a mouthful of chips.

  “They did not! I was adjusting my bun.”

  “Not the way I saw it.” Dacey wiped her hands and pushed Teddy away from the food.

  “You said you would make this right.”

  “I am. I’m here with Sebastian’s information. He said it’s a mystery date, so I brought you his number so you could schedule it. Now.”

  “You didn’t.” Ai’s hands tensed.

  Dacey took a giant swig of her ’rita then set the glass on the side table. “Hell yeah, I did. You need this. Whether you admit it or not. I think your hands accidentally slipped at the exact right moment. I’ve seen how you look at him. He’s—”

  Ai pounced, knocking Dacey back into the pillows, mid dip. Chips went flying. Ai screeched as she pummeled her best friend with every cushion she could get her hands on.

  “Get off me!”

  “Not until you fix this. I don’t want him.”

  Dacey’s red face got right into hers. “You do. I can tell.”

  “He’s too conservative. Too boring.”

  “Ha! Then why do you eat him alive with your eyes.”

  “I do not. He’s too nice. I’ll chew him up and spit him out. Do you want your pretty friend to end up mangled?”

  “You won’t because you lurve his big ole cop body with all your heart.”

  “I don’t have a heart!” She whacked her again. Dacey sprung up, knocking Ai back before she could recover. Teddy whoofed a few times but went back to eating the discarded chips on the floor.

  “Yes, you do! The biggest heart I know,” she wheezed. “You can’t back out now. The bid was set.”

  “I’ll donate the money without the date.”

  “You saw his face! He’s excited.” She dove back on top of Ai. “I can’t let you do that to him. He’s my bestie.”

  For the first time, anger turned to hurt. “And what am I, chopped liver?”

  Dacey cupped her face. “You’re not my friend. You’re my sister from another mister. My Girl Friday. My heart’s desire in a non-sexy way. Trust me on this. It’ll break Sarge’s heart if you cancel.”

  “That is the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me.”

  “I know. But trust me on this one. It’s for the best.”

  “Unbelievable.” Ai bucked her hips. “Get off of me.”

  “Don’t hit me, anymore. I’m still hungry and Teddy’s eating all the chips.” Dacey scooped up a few before the butterball devoured every last crumb. Dacey flopped onto the scattered pillows and gulped her drink.

  “Can I have more food? Please.”

  “Jesús! More chips!”

  “Anything for you, Boss Lady,” he called in.

  “How long has he lived here?”

  “Too long.”

  No matter what Dacey thought, she had not raised her hand, on purpose. Had she been completely engrossed in his stacked body? Yes. Had she contemplated silently taking out all of the other bidders? Of course.

  That didn’t mean I meant to do it. Did it?

  But a tiny part of her was curious, okay horny…but still curious. It had been so long, and he looked so delicious. Was it wrong to want to use him for his luscious body?

  “It’s time for the drought to end.”

  Ai glowered at Baby D, her families nickname for her. “Get out of my head.”

  “Never. It’s so pretty in there, but totally scary at the same time. Have you even hooked up with anyone since your Ex?” Dacey finished the last of her margarita. “I’d be both happy and devastated that you hooked up because it would mean you’d kept it from me. But at the same time, I’d be oh-so-happy for your girly bits.”

  “Kyle,” she whispered on a sigh. “You know I haven’t.”

  “Then the Sarge situation is perfect. He’s such a good guy. If I hadn’t been so obsessed with Willem, I would have jumped those bones.”

  Ai glowered at her friend, not entirely comfortable with her saying she’d wanted Sebastian. But Dacey, in typical fashion, had become distracted, looking at Ai’s newest mural. One of the artists specializing in Mexican folklore had transformed her living room walls.

  “Wait, that isn’t exactly true.” She tracked the timeline that connected all of the flashes of history represented on the wall. “Sebastian and I were friends in a past life, so no Horizontal Refreshments for us.”

  Good. The thought sent her in a tailspin. “Dacey, you said it yourself. He’s a nice guy. What if I hurt him like I did with Kyle?”

  “Puh-lease. He was a user. A mooch.”

  “It was a little more complicated than that.” A solid block of guilt sat on her shoulders, an old hurt that weighed her down from the inside out.

  “Yes, he loved you, but he contributed absolutely nothing but a pretty face. Was he even a real artist? Or just a poser? Would you be able to stop creating?”

  She’d rather cut off her left arm. Art was in her blood. It was the way she saw the world, her savior from the overwhelming press of life. “You know I couldn’t.” Dacey didn’t need to repeat all of the reasons she eventually dumped Kyle, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t devastated her. She never wanted to be responsible for someone’s pain. Or their happiness. She wanted to focus on herself and tell the rest of the male population to suck a dick.

  At the same time, she was a sucker for a good-looking man. And something about Sergeant Seba
stian Jacobs—oh, hell, she even knew his last name—revved her engines.

  “Give me his number. I’ll call him later.”

  “Nuh uh. I need proof. If it gets out that the school reneges on their promises, we lose all creditability. Wouldn’t want that, right?” Dacey’s sweet grin turned dastardly.

  “You could give two about that school’s reputation. You guys teach adult classes for God’s sake. People who live in glasshouses—that teach blowjob classes—shouldn’t throw stones. Or dildos.”

  “But I care about you.” Dacey sat in front of her, crisscross applesauce, like they used to as kids. Teddy roused from her nap and snugged between the two of them, then promptly fell back asleep. Dacey grabbed Ai’s hands and gazed into her eyes. “Talk to me. Tell me you don’t want at a peek at whatever’s going on under that uniform.”

  Ai’s insides melted like butter. Every tense muscle relaxed at the idea of getting a glance of that cop’s killer bod. “That might be fun.” She let out a deep breath and finally met her friend’s eye. “I don’t want to hurt anybody. Ever again.”

  “Still with that Christmas Karma stuff?”

  “You can’t hurt someone like that and not expect retribution.”

  “You did what you had to do. Kyle was the worst.”

  “That divorce almost broke me.”

  Dacey squeezed her hands. “What’s the alternative? You hide away in your treehouse? No one’s saying you have to get married. You make it sound like he’ll be moving in.”

  “A cop? Moving in?” A loud clang, and then Jesús rushed around the corner, a new bowl of chips in hand. “Here you go, Boss Lady. Fresh chips just for you and your sexy friend.”

  “Were you listening?”

  “Hell no. Didn’t hear anything about the po-po,” he shuddered.

  “Do you see what I’m surrounded with?” Ai cocked her head toward Jesús’s retreating back. “I have a house full of starving artists. I don’t even like people and there is a minimum of ten interlopers sleeping here, every night. Now look me in the face, and promise me he won’t want to move in. I bring out the worst in people.”

  “You do not.” Dacey kissed the back of her hand and grabbed the chips. Teddy’s ears popped up, but she didn’t fully rouse. “You’re a big ole softy that cares about people. Nothing wrong with that. Set some boundaries with Sarge. Let him know ahead of time what you’re willing to give—and then you can follow your own annoying rules. Good luck with that.” Dacey giggled.