The Ghosts of Blood and Innocence

by Storm Constantine

  The blood had congealed by the time Darq pulled away from her, and it crackled like shattering resin as he broke their bond. He laid Amelza down in the dew damp grass. Her eyes were closed and she looked deadly pale. He knelt beside her, staring down, his fists plunged between his thighs. His arm was throbbing. He sat with her all night. It seemed she was sleeping, and hopefully changing.

  Just before dawn, Amelza uttered a cry and sat bolt upright. It was as shocking to Darq as if she’d been a corpse, springing back to life.

  ‘Ammie?’

  Amelza merely dropped open her jaw and emitted a continuous low scream. She beat at her face, and the wound on her arm came open, so that blood flew from it. It smelled too strong, like carrion.

  Darq tried to grab hold of her arms to restrain her, prevent her from harming herself, but she was stronger than him. She threw him away from her, as if he was only a kitten, and leapt to her feet. Then she was running away, between the trees, all the time uttering a terrible cry.

  Darq ran after her. She was easy to follow because she was making so much noise crashing through the shrubs and thickets. He called her name, all the while knowing it was useless to do so. She was transforming. He’d incepted her. Even now, he couldn’t believe he’d done it. She wasn’t dead, so it must have worked. As he ran, Darq became aware of other presences in the wood. At first, this did not bother him, but then he realised it was the spectral hunters. They had heard Amelza’s screams and had smelled her blood. It had drawn them. He couldn’t think about that now. He had to put them from his mind, for they were only spirits after all, and their only weapons were the inflictions of madness. They kept pace with him and he could hear the panting of their hounds. Sometimes, they might bay in the night, but now they were silent.

  He found Amelza among some ruins. Once a house had stood in this place, in landscaped gardens, but the forest had taken all of it years before. The upper stories of the house had long gone, and only a few walls, about four feet high, remained. Amelza had squeezed herself into a corner where the first rays of the sun had not yet penetrated. The hunters were nearby, and usually they vanished at daybreak. Darq sensed them beginning to break up, melting into mist, but still their curiosity chained them to this spot. Perhaps they would rematerialise here at dusk and wonder where they were and why they were there. They avoided the old habitations of men.

  Amelza was now a dreadful sight. She had become a crone as she’d barged through the forest. Darq suspected the process hadn’t gone quite as well as he’d thought it would. He went to her, cautiously, but she did not appear to see him. Her jaw hung slack, emitting black drool. Her skin was scabrous, and it was as if the flesh were melting from her bones.

  ‘Ammie,’ Darq breathed. She was dying. Darq pressed bunched fists against his eyes. He screamed: Help me! in his mind. He sent out a call to Phade, to anyhar, or anything else that could hear. Perhaps there was some sympathy in the cold breasts of the hunters, but the daylight was their enemy and they would soon be gone completely.

  It was as if a thick fog filled the ethers. Darq’s own inner cry was muffled, thrown back at him. He had never felt panic before, and was frightened of it, because he couldn’t control it. He hadn’t known fear before either. It was terrible, like being possessed. He knew he should focus, think rationally, but it was virtually impossible. Think: what would Phade do?

  He would call to those who knew about this process. He would call to the Gelaming. They were reputed to be the most powerful of hara. Surely they would hear a desperate plea?

  Darq summoned every shred of strength he possessed and squashed it into an arrow of intention. This had to work, because if it didn’t Amelza would die and he’d be her murderer.

  I call upon you, Gelaming. Come to me! Come now! A life depends on it!

  After some minutes’ concentrated effort, Darq released his breath and lowered his hands from his eyes. A mist had crept in at ground level, covering the forest floor, seeping into the ruins. Amelza’s breath wheezed in her chest. It seemed to be slowing down. She was mostly motionless, but occasionally a violent tremor would shake her body.

  Had he been heard? He was sure he must have been. He had never invested such effort into a psychic call before. But nohar came, and Amelza’s body made strange bubbling and popping sounds. The end was near.

  Darq put his face in his hands and wept. He was overcome by such powerful feelings, it was almost divine. He realised, for the first time, how fragile life was. ‘Forgive me,’ he said aloud. ‘Please forgive me.’

  He heard the sound of horses’ hooves behind him, not galloping, but walking slowly. He thought it was Phade and jumped to his feet, wheeling round. But it was not Phade. For a while, he saw nothing, and it seemed the approaching animal was invisible, but then through the mist a huge white horse appeared. It was a beautiful creature, lifting its knees high. Its mane flowed down on both sides of its neck, hanging to its chest. It bore a tall, cloaked har.

  The horse came to a halt before Darq and its rider stared down at him. All he saw was a penetrating, silvery grey gaze, a long straight nose, a well-shaped mouth and chin. Long drifts of dark red hair fell over his breast. He looked magnificent, even though his hood shadowed his face. Darq didn’t care who it was. ‘Help me,’ he said, gesturing at Amelza. ‘She’s dying. Help her. I gave her blood…’

  The har dismounted from his horse and without speaking approached Amelza, brushing past Darq as he did so. Darq could pick up nothing psychically from this har; he was like a blank stone. The har squatted down to examine the girl and spent some moments doing so. Then, he rose to his feet and turned to Darq. He threw back the hood of his cloak and Darq physically winced. He had never seen such a powerful and beautiful har: he must be Gelaming.

  ‘You are a fool, Darquiel,’ said the har.

  ‘I know,’ Darq said. ‘I thought I could change her…’

  ‘No! What I meant was that you are a fool for shouting like an imbecile into the ethers.’

  Darq got the impression this har was not that concerned about Amelza. ‘Can you help her?’

  The har sniffed. ‘It might be possible. The question is: why should I?’

  ‘Because…’ Darq faltered. ‘Because you came when I called?’

  ‘I am not here to deal with botched inceptions. You should know that harish blood is poison to femalekind.’

  ‘Phade, my guardian, he said the Kamagrian…’

  ‘And is this female in any condition to travel the otherlanes to reach them? I think not.’

  ‘Then bring them here.’

  The har laughed. ‘You are quite amusing. Why should I do that? Give me a good reason.’

  ‘She shouldn’t die because of me. Her family serves my tribe. It isn’t right. I did wrong. I will do whatever you ask if you’ll help.’

  ‘That is a rash promise,’ said the har, ‘but very well. I’ll risk taking her. It might be too late, so pray to the dehara it isn’t.’

  ‘Who are you?’ Darq asked.

  ‘Somehar who should not be here. Somehar who came because you are very stupid and have possibly put yourself in grave danger. I am Thiede.’

  ‘Are you Gelaming?’

  ‘Go home, Darquiel.’

  Thiede picked up Amelza in one arm and somehow managed to mount his horse again, which Darq now noticed wore no bridle or saddle. Thiede slung the girl before him, over the animal’s withers. ‘I will return. Phade is looking for you.’

  Thiede turned the horse with some unspoken command and the animal trotted off towards the trees. Then the air fractured and it vanished.

  Darq remained staring at the spot for some minutes. He was dazed. If it wasn’t for the fact that Amelza no longer squatted behind him, he’d have believed he’d just dreamed the past five minutes. This har called Thiede had known him by name. He knew of Phade also. His horse had just vanished from this reality, and had no doubt appeared in a similarly bizarre manner. A shiver ran over Darq’s skin. Was this the har w
ho’d brought me here, as a pearl? What powers he possessed!

  I am Gelaming, Darq thought. I must be.

  As he retraced his steps to Samway, which was difficult because this was a part of the forest Darq did not know well, conflicting feelings brawled inside him. He was full of remorse for what he’d done to Amelza, extremely excited and intrigued by Thiede, and angry with Phade. It was an old resentment: the certainty that Phade knew much more about Darq’s origins than he’d revealed. Darq was resigned to the fact that Phade would be furious with him too, if only for being out all night. He contemplated whether to reveal what had happened or not. Thiede had said he would return. If Thiede was one of his parents, or had known them, he would no doubt be angry with Phade for not keeping Darq under control. Whatever happened, Darq was sure life was just about to get very interesting indeed.

  Two of Phade’s guards came upon Darq before he’d even left the forest. Darq knew them well: Keroen and Farn. At first, they thought he’d been attacked because his shirt was covered in dried blood, but he told them he’d cut himself.

  Keroen hauled Darq up before him on his horse. ‘You’re in trouble,’ he said.

  ‘No doubt,’ Darq replied.

  ‘We’ve been searching half the night. Where did you hide yourself?’

  Darq shrugged, and Farn laughed. ‘I wouldn’t be in your place when we get back.’ Neither of the guards mentioned anything about Amelza.

  By the time they reached Phade’s Tower, Darq felt quite ill. This was also an unusual circumstance. He wondered whether all those perplexing feelings he’d experienced had somehow affected him physically. The wound on his arm burned. He was light-headed, and his entire body felt like it was crawling with ants, within and without.

  Phade came into the yard, even before Darq had got down off the horse. He was unusually white of face, which meant he was bubbling with fury of the most severe kind. His lips had virtually disappeared into a thin line of disgusted disapproval.

  Darq almost collapsed as he dismounted. Pulling himself straight, he braced himself to confront his guardian. Phade’s blow to his face took him totally by surprise. He didn’t feel it, but one moment Darq was standing, the next on his back, with lights shooting out of his eyes.

  ‘You little fuck!’ Phade yelled. He lunged forward.

  For the second time that day Darq experienced fear. He had never seen a har so incandescent with rage.

  Farn pulled Phade back and said, in a low worried voice, ‘Tiahaar…’

  Phade shook the guard off. ‘Get up!’ he said to Darq. ‘Come to my office.’

  Darq sat in the dust and wept. He wasn’t himself any more. He had become like Amelza or Zira, full of these ridiculous swirling emotions. Keroen squatted beside him and put an arm round Darq’s shoulders. Darq slumped against the har in relief. He wanted to be held. He didn’t want to face Phade.

  ‘He didn’t mean what he did,’ said Keroen. ‘He’s worried, that’s all. You scared him, disappearing like that.’

  Darq was too exhausted to argue. He didn’t think that concern should be displayed by punching somehar in the face.

  Keroen helped him to his feet, and Darq had to hold onto the har’s arm all the way to Phade’s office. He couldn’t see properly. He wanted to be sick. ‘Stay with me,’ he said to Keroen. ‘Don’t leave me.’

  Keroen uttered a soft sound. ‘He’ll dismiss me. You know he will.’

  ‘I’m afraid. I think he wanted to kill me.’

  ‘No, not that. Apologise. Keep weeping. He’s not that hard a har.’

  Once Darq reached Phade’s office, the reason for Phade’s excessive anger was revealed. Thiede was already there. Darq could tell that Phade was frightened of this har, and now that his initial burst of fury was over, he was very concerned about Darq’s condition, not least, no doubt, because he would be blamed for it.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Darq said. ‘I’m sorry, Phade. I didn’t…’

  ‘I know,’ Phade said. ‘I’ve been told.’

  ‘It is only the folly of youth,’ Thiede said. ‘He meant no wrong.’

  ‘He never does,’ Phade snapped. ‘Keroen, get out!’

  Darq heard the door close behind him; his ally had gone.

  Phade turned to Thiede. ‘He can’t stay here any longer. He’s your responsibility.’

  Thiede gestured languidly with both hands. ‘It would be unwise to leave him here, yes. In the ethers, he was shrieking ‘Here I am!’ to all and sundry with half an ear to hear.’

  Phade paced up and down the room, clearly in a state of extreme agitation. ‘Then take him and go. I did what I could. Don’t say that I didn’t.’

  ‘I can’t take him, Phade,’ Thiede said calmly. ‘I’ll arrange for somehar else to do it. You must be patient.’

  Phade threw up his arms. ‘And what might come pouring out of the otherlanes in the meantime?’

  ‘We have time. I have made sure of it; for my own protection, if not for Darquiel’s.’

  Darq listened numbly to this exchange. These hara were discussing his future, yet he could not care. He sat down on a chair, because otherwise he’d have fallen down. Phade didn’t even look at him.

  Thiede stood up. ‘Have your hara care for Darq. He cannot yet travel, in any case.’

  Now Phade glanced at Darq; it was clear that what he saw pained him. ‘He brought it on himself. What did he do? Butcher the girl? What am I to tell her people?’

  ‘Tell them she is undertaking training with the Kamagrian,’ Thiede said.

  ‘Will she live?’

  Thiede shrugged. ‘Time will tell.’

  Phade shook his head. ‘Darq, you are beyond me. If you didn’t butcher her, you nearly butchered yourself. You look half-dead!’

  ‘That isn’t butchering,’ Thiede said smoothly. ‘It seems events have precipitated a natural phenomenon.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Phade asked sharply.

  ‘He has begun his feybraiha, that’s all.’

  Chapter Seven

  Phade took Darquiel to his room. He did not call for Zira, for which Darq was relieved. He didn’t feel capable of looking Zira in the eye, and he wondered whether Olivia and her family would believe the story about Amelza and the Kamagrian. They would certainly not be pleased.

  ‘Why did you do that?’ Phade asked. ‘What possessed you?’

  ‘I was just sure it would work,’ Darq answered. ‘You wouldn’t listen to me.’

  Phade shook his head in exasperation. ‘You’re too impatient. We only discussed the matter a short time ago.’

  Darq pressed his fingers against his forehead, rubbed it. ‘You wouldn’t have done anything. You didn’t care.’

  Phade sighed. ‘You’ve brought Thiede here. That’s the last thing I wanted.’

  Darq sat down on his bed. ‘Who is he? Is he Gelaming?’

  ‘In a way, yes,’ Phade replied. He seemed back to his usual self. There was a light of contrition in his eyes, which Darq sensed meant that Phade was uncomfortable with the fact he’d struck a harling.

  ‘He brought me here, didn’t he?’

  Phade nodded. ‘He appointed me as your guardian, yes.’

  ‘He’s very powerful.’

  ‘And dangerous.’

  Darq grimaced. ‘Must I go with some stranger he sends here? This feybraiha thing – must I take aruna with somehar? What’s going to happen to me?’ He began to weep again, unable to prevent it. Somehar else was living unlawfully in his body; he hoped this emotional interloper wouldn’t squat there permanently.

  Phade sat down beside him, and put an arm round Darq’s shoulders. ‘I really can’t answer the first question yet, but all I can say is that Thiede brought you here for a reason: to keep you safe. When you called for the Gelaming, Thiede heard you, which means others could have heard you too. You are special, Darq. Your abilities, I think, are stronger than most hara’s.’

  Darq wiped his face with his hands. His mouth felt full of salt. ‘I want to be norma
l again… I want to know who and what I am. I feel I can’t be until you and that Thiede tell me the truth.’

  Phade sighed through his nose. ‘I can’t tell you. That issue is between you and Thiede. But as for your second question, is there any har you’d like to be with you for your feybraiha? I can deal with that at least.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ Darq said. ‘I have no interest in it. Pick anyhar.’ He pulled away from Phade and shook his head vigorously. ‘I nearly killed Amelza. I’m glad you struck me. I deserved it. I should take aruna with a troll as punishment.’

  Phade laughed, then checked himself. ‘Darq, you are right. This isn’t you.’ He paused. ‘You seem to get on well with Keroen. How about him?’

  ‘If you want. I just want to get it over with.’

  Phade squeezed one of Darq’s shoulders. ‘At this point, I should say that once you’re in the moment, you won’t feel like that, but somehow I don’t think I can say that to you. I’ll talk to Keroen. We’ll see.’ He stood up. ‘I shouldn’t have struck you. I’m sorry about that. I was just…’

  Darq interrupted him. ‘I know. I don’t blame you.’

  Phade smiled tentatively. ‘Things will work out Darq, I’m sure they will. Get some rest. I’ll be back later.’

  After Phade left, Darq lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He kept seeing Amelza’s face, how she’d changed to become something hideous. He’d been so sure it would work. His whole world seemed shaken apart, because he could no longer trust his instincts.

  Eventually, he drifted off to sleep and slept for most of the day. When he awoke, it was dusk and he saw that somehar had left a tray of cold food on the table by the door. The last thing he felt like doing was eating. He felt wretched. Physical discomfort conspired with anger and self-loathing within him. He knew he couldn’t run away, because Phade’s hara would find him. Nothing in the future seemed remotely attractive. Olivia and Zira would hate him now. Keroen would probably feel sick having to touch a har every living creature in Samway thought was a freak. Normally, Darq wouldn’t care about such things. He hated what he was becoming. It was all too vile.