“Hails, what…” Charlie seemed to be out of words.
“I’m going to go.”
“What? Hailey, don’t. Come on.” Charlie reached for Hailey’s hand, but Hailey pulled away.
“I’m sorry. I thought I could, Charlie. I thought I could, but I don’t know. I feel all this pressure,” she said and realized it at the same time. “Pressure to be who you want me to be, and pressure from Emma to try to get back what we had, when I don’t think we ever can. I’m hurting both of you, and I don’t want to do that. I think it’s better if I pull myself out of the picture.”
“Hailey, no. That’s not what I want. I’m not trying to put any pressure on you to be different than who you are. I love who you are.”
Hailey could hear the worry and concern in Charlie’s tone.
“Charlie…”
“Please don’t do this, Hailey. We can just talk. I don’t want whatever you think I do. I want-”
“I need some time, Charlie,” Hailey interjected. “I’m sorry, but I need some time to reconcile all this.” She grabbed her stuff and headed toward the door. “I’m so sorry,” she said again, and then left the apartment.
CHAPTER 19
“Hey, Charlie.” Andrew, a VP at the firm, entered the conference room where Charlie had just wrapped up a meeting, but was now alone. “I have kind of a last-minute request.”
“What’s up?” Charlie asked and closed her computer.
“David’s group was going to head up our first project in Detroit, but he’s getting pulled to work on our rollout plan for the rest of Michigan, because he’s a better project manager than an architect. Don’t tell him I said that.” He pointed at her in jest. “Here’s the request part. Can you take over Detroit and farm the Health Department thing out to your team?”
“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s already underway.”
“You’d have to be up there for a couple of weeks at least. It’s a big deal. There’s a tech startup that’s trying to revitalize a whole city block by expanding their office there and then adding some outdoor green spaces too.”
“A couple of weeks?”
“We just got the bid approved, so you’d be starting right at the beginning, but yeah. It’ll be at least a couple of weeks up there, and you’d have to check in every so often while the work’s happening. We’ll put you up in a nice place, of course.”
Charlie considered the offer that wasn’t really an offer. It was a boss asking an employee to do something when they really just kind of had to do it.
“When do I need to leave?”
“As soon as possible. Tomorrow, if you can. I can have Kay book your room and flight now. We’ll get you a rental up there, so you don’t have to make the drive.”
“Yeah, okay,” she replied. “But I’ll drive instead of flying. I’d rather get the rental here. I have Eddie. I don’t want to leave him for that long.”
“And a hotel that takes dogs, got it,” he returned and left the room.
Charlie was actually grateful. She needed to get away. She needed to not see Hailey at coffee on Thursday, or not be in her apartment, where everything just reminded her of Hailey, despite the fact that it was Charlie’s place. It had been two days since Hailey fled her apartment, and Charlie had left her two voicemails and countless texts, asking her to talk to her. Hailey had sent one text back, saying again that she was sorry but that she needed time. Charlie recognized the need for time, because she’d asked for it herself, but thanks to Hailey’s poor job at respecting it, Charlie had finally confessed how she felt, and they’d had a chance. They’d had an amazing date and the promise of more, but now Hailey was the one asking for time, and Charlie didn’t know what to do.
She got home and started packing immediately. She didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. She gathered what she hoped would be enough stuff, made sure Eddie was good to go, picked up the rental car, and she hit the road. She’d asked Kay to book her a room for the night, so she could get a head start on the project, but she really just needed to get out of Chicago. She was heartbroken and couldn’t stand to walk around the city as if nothing life-altering had happened to her recently. She’d kissed Hailey. They’d made out and were about to do more before Ember’s interruption. She now knew what it felt like to have Hailey in her arms; what it was like to kiss her and be kissed hungrily by her in return. She could never go back from that.
The drive was relatively easy, once she got through city traffic. She waited until she was more than half way there before she texted Ember and told her she’d be out of town for the next couple of weeks. Then, she turned off her phone and finished the drive.
◆◆◆
Hailey arrived at Sally’s earlier than most days, because, and only because, she’d promised Ember she’d be there. For the past several days, she’d spent every moment at work or working from home just to try to keep her mind off Charlie Adams. She’d failed miserably, though, because Charlie was either at the forefront of her thoughts, or hidden just beneath. She’d been so close to having what she wanted, but her fear got in the way and obliterated her chances of making it work with Charlie. She’d been holding that in since she first found out about Charlie’s feelings for her. The constant replay of their shared memories, mixed with her new and intense feelings for Charlie, got the better of her.
“You want to tell me why Charlie fled the state the other day?” Ember said the second Hailey sat down.
“What?” Hailey returned in surprise.
Ember slid a coffee cup in Hailey’s direction.
“She’s in Michigan for the next two weeks or something.”
“She is? Why?”
“She said work, but I doubt that. You – not returning my calls, and, apparently, not knowing that the woman you’re dating is in another state, leads me to believe there’s more to it than that.”
“Em, come on,” Hailey implored.
“Hailey, what the hell happened? Neither of you will talk to me about it, and Charlie won’t even return my calls anymore.”
“I freaked out,” Hailey admitted.
“About what? You and Charlie?”
“Yes.” She rolled her eyes at Ember. “It’s too much, Ember.”
“What is?” Ember tried to understand.
“What she feels for me.”
“Huh?”
“I can’t be who she wants me to be.”
“Hails, I’m pretty sure she wants you to be you. That’s kind of the point, so what are you talking about?”
“You don’t know what it’s like, Em. You met Eva. You two started dating right away and now you’re getting married. Charlie and I have known each other for so long. This is just now starting, and it’s scary, because what if I’m not the person she thought I was this whole time? What if I’m not enough and it ends, and we can’t get our friendship back?”
“You always do this, Hailey. You’re frustrating beyond belief sometimes.” She glared at Hailey across the table and grunted her frustration. “You either pick the wrong woman and then she leaves, or you finally pick the right damn one and you leave.”
“Hey,” Hailey said to defend herself.
“I love you, Hailey, but I’ve seen Charlie suffering for far too long. She looked so damn happy last weekend. She’s been different since she told you. I like this new Charlie, because she’s happier. But you’re pushing her away when you just started figuring out how you feel? Why? Is it really just you freaking out about Charlie? Is there still something going on with Emma?”
“No, Emma and I are over,” Hailey shared. “But yeah, I was confused between the two of them. Emma’s just always been around, and she and I worked so well before.”
“But, Hails, Charlie has always been around too, and you two work so well now. You always have,” Ember said. “I’m not going to try to talk you into anything. You have to decide what you want. But I think no matter what you decide to do, you need to take the time to figure it out before you talk
to her. Don’t do that again to her, Hails. Don’t give her hope, if you’re just going to take it away again. Know what you want, that you can do it, and if you can’t, then talk to her and try to see what you guys can salvage of your friendship, because I’d like both of my friends back and, preferably, talking to one another too.”
Hailey knew Ember was right. She needed to give Charlie the time and space she hadn’t given her before. Hailey needed to take her time and space to figure out what the hell was going on inside her and why she couldn’t just allow herself to be happy with Charlie.
◆◆◆
Charlie had been in Detroit for over two weeks when she made her first appearance at the hotel bar. She’d been working practically non-stop to get the project going, as well as checking in on the Health Department project, which was ahead of schedule. She’d exchanged a few work-related only emails with Emma, and hated even doing that, because it reminded her of Hailey. Charlie was trying to do anything but think of Hailey. Hailey had always been the one she’d never have. Now, she was the one that got away, and that was an adjustment in Charlie’s thought process.
“Hey.”
Charlie looked up to see her main contact for the Detroit project standing next to the booth she was sitting in, sipping on her wine.
“Hey, glad you could make it,” Charlie replied.
Summer was about twenty-five and one of the co-founders of the tech startup Charlie was working with. She was a millionaire several times over, thanks to the app she developed with her brother, and had successfully built offices in three locations around the country. The first was in Silicon Valley, where they started, but the other two were in places that needed jobs and a kick to help out the economy. They’d chosen Detroit for just that reason, and Charlie thought it was a great idea. She was helping them bring a little Silicon Valley to Detroit, while also trying to maintain that Motor City vibe.
“Thanks for the invite.” Summer sat across from Charlie, and the bartender approached to take her order. “Can I get a scotch and soda?” she asked, and the bartender nodded and walked off.
“Scotch and soda?” Charlie questioned with a long drink of her wine.
“It was a long day, on top of a lot of other long days,” Summer replied.
Charlie had really taken to Summer when they met her first day in the city. She was bright, funny, and had dark brown hair with matching eyes. Her lips were thin and typically coated with a light sheen of gloss, but no color, and she usually wore very casual clothes, even to the office, which Charlie appreciated. Charlie had invited her out for the drink, because Summer had been dumped the night before and told Charlie about it that afternoon. She thought a drink and some time away from the project might help cheer her up. She thought that her strictly professional rule could be a little more relaxed, given the circumstances.
“It’s coming along, though,” Charlie said.
“Yeah, but you’ll be leaving soon, right? It will probably slow down once you leave. You know how to get things done,” she complimented.
Charlie smiled at her as the bartender delivered her drink. Summer didn’t waste any time and took a big gulp before she placed it back down.
“I still can’t believe he broke up with me,” she shared. “I was going to break up with him.”
“Then, the problem isn’t that you still have feelings for him. It’s that your ego is bruised?” Charlie suggested.
“I guess. I didn’t want to be with the guy anymore, but I wasn’t ready for him to dump me and tell me he’s already seeing someone else.”
“That is hard.” Charlie nodded.
Summer took one more gulp and her drink was gone.
“It’s strange. You’re in a relationship with someone one day, and then you’re not the next. You get used to considering their opinions and needs. Then, you don’t anymore. I almost called him to tell him I was meeting you here, before I realized I didn’t need to do that anymore.”
“I’ve been there myself,” Charlie said. “Being here has been strange for me, because it’s just Eddie and I, and I’m used to considering my friends in a lot of my plans.”
“So, you’re single then?” Summer asked, and it was the first time she’d asked Charlie a question like that.
“Yes, I’m single,” Charlie answered after a moment of consideration.
She hadn’t spoken to Hailey since she’d arrived in Detroit, and had no plans to when she returned, until Ember and Eva’s bachelorette party in a couple of weeks. It was just better this way. If Hailey didn’t want her or couldn’t see that Charlie just wanted her, then they needed more time apart. Despite Hailey trying to assure Charlie that Emma was nothing to worry about, Charlie still had her doubts. After all, she’d spent countless nights hearing Hailey talk about their endless love, while Charlie kept hearing Sinead O’Connor singing in her head that ‘nothing compares to you’.
“When do you leave?” Summer asked her as the bartender brought her a refill.
“I don’t know yet. I just had the hotel extend my stay until next week, because your brother still wants to talk about the living roof.”
“That’s his pet project,” Summer started. “He’s a big fan of environmental design.”
“It’s a little more complicated here than it was in California. The weather here is much harsher, so it will take some time. I’ve got a consultant coming in next week to try to figure out how to make it work,” Charlie explained.
“I’m heading home in a couple of days,” Summer said. “I’ll come back in a few weeks to check on things, but my actual job is in California, and I need to get back to it. My brother, apparently, loves building offices though, so he’ll stay here and give you whatever you need.” She took another drink. “At least my now-ex and I weren’t living together. Being dumped over the phone is hard enough. I’d hate to have to go back and find him with his new chick,” she joked.
Summer finished her second drink. Charlie even had another glass of wine. By the time Summer had finished her third drink, Charlie could tell she was drunk, or at least very close to it.
“It’s getting late, and I have Eddie in my room. I should let him out,” Charlie said.
“You have a guy in your room? I thought you were gay,” Summer said with a playful wink.
“He is technically a guy, and yes, I am gay.”
Charlie knew Summer knew Eddie was a dog and was just playing with her.
“Can I meet him? We weren’t allowed to have pets as kids, because my brother is allergic. I started working in college and haven’t stopped long enough to consider getting one for myself. My dad got one once Seth moved out, and Seth takes allergy pills whenever he goes to the house, but I’ve never had my own.”
“Sure, come on,” Charlie said.
Summer stood and placed a hundred-dollar bill on the table to cover their check and a nice tip for the bartender. They made their way down one hall, passed through the lobby and down another hall to Charlie’s first-floor room. Eddie jumped on her the moment she walked into the room, and then began sniffing Summer, once he realized Charlie wasn’t alone. The hotel accommodated pets well, and Charlie had a room with a patio out back and a sliding glass door. She attached Eddie’s leash to his collar and walked him outside. They didn’t go for a walk, but Eddie had gotten used to that since they’d been in Detroit and went back in without fighting with her. She let him go, and he headed immediately back to Summer, who was sitting on the small couch to the left of the bed.
“Hey, Eddie.” She rubbed his head, and Charlie handed her a bag of treats. She gave him one, and he rushed off to enjoy it on his blanket. “He’s so cute,” she said.
“He has his moments,” Charlie agreed and then sat on the edge of the bed to pull off her shoes.
“His owner’s pretty cute too,” Summer said, causing Charlie to turn around and check to see if she’d heard right. Charlie didn’t say anything though. Summer stood, moving around the bed to stand in front of Charlie. “I’
m kind of glad I’m single now,” she said and placed her hands on Charlie’s shoulders, while Charlie stared up at her.
“Summer, we can’t…” She faded. “You’re straight.”
“I’m bi, Charlie. I’ve been out for years,” she revealed. “My longest relationship to date, by the way, was with a woman.”
“We’re working together, Summer.” Charlie felt Summer push her back on the bed and then climb on top of her. “Summer, come on. You’re drunk.”
“Charlie, I’ve been thinking about doing this with you since we met,” she explained and leaned down, holding her lips just above Charlie’s. “It has nothing to do with the alcohol, and it won’t get in the way of us working together.” She leaned down the rest of the way and pressed her lips gently to Charlie’s before removing them. “You’re so sexy when you work. You wear those button-down shirts and those jeans. They look really good on you.” She paused again and checked Charlie’s eyes. “Do you want to stop?” she asked.
“What is this?” Charlie asked, her hands still at her sides.
“Just tonight, if you want,” Summer offered. “If it keeps going though, I wouldn’t mind.”
Summer smirked down at her, but it wasn’t a confident or cocky smirk. It was a genuine smile that told Charlie she was leaving it up to her. She waited patiently as she hovered above, bit her bottom lip, and appeared at least a little bit nervous all the sudden.
“But just sex?” Charlie stared into deep brown eyes.
“I like you, but I don’t think we can have anything more than that. I’m not normally like this, I swear. I’m not a friends with benefits kind of person or anything, but I think that’s all this could be, given where you live and where I live. I just really like you.”
Summer ran a slow hand up under Charlie’s shirt and looked down at it. She lowered her hand and placed it over the button of Charlie’s jeans. She looked back up and waited for Charlie to tell her to stop or go. When Charlie didn’t indicate either, she popped the button and leaned down to capture Charlie’s lips in a heated kiss that told Charlie she’d been waiting to do this for a while now. Charlie had had no idea that Summer was bisexual, or that she was interested in her in this way. She didn’t want to dwell on it though. Summer was sexy in general, but like this, she was even sexier. Charlie kissed her back hard and with passion. Her hands slid up Summer’s back and rested there before she felt Summer roll them both over so that Charlie was on top. She started working the buttons on Charlie’s shirt and went to pull it over, down her shoulders, but Charlie’s lips stopped moving. She lifted herself up and tried to catch her breath and clear her muddled thoughts.
Just Tell Her Page 22