After Thought

by P. A. Crenshaw

  Adam pulled her close and kissed her. “That sounds fabulous to me. Are we in agreement to give the mountain a go?”

  “I think it’s our only option,” she said as her eyes searched his for encouragement.

  He nodded somberly. It was unfortunate that neither of them could foresee the consequences of their decision.

  Chapter 13

  Adam wondered how it had come to be that they were stranded at the top of the mountain in a snowstorm with no other souls in sight. He and Maddie carefully examined the ski trail map and tried to find the shortest trail they thought they could navigate, skill-wise. All of the trails at this location were black diamond and double black diamond trails—the highest level of difficulty. But even among black diamond trails, some were harder than others to navigate. Some double and triple black diamond trails could contain ice crevasses, moguls, soaring cliffs, and avalanche risks. They had to choose carefully. They settled on a single black diamond trail that appeared to be the shortest.

  Maddie shivered as they emerged from the ski shack. She covered her mouth with her gloved hands as she scanned the area. Visibility had decreased to less than twenty feet. She squinted to make out the signs as the wind and snow stung the exposed areas of her face.

  Adam said, “We need to stick together, no matter what.”

  Maddie nodded. They retrieved their skis and poles and made their way to the trail entrance. Even though they were anxious to get down to warmth and safety, Adam made a conscious effort to keep the pace slow for Maddie. When they first started out, Maddie’s teeth chattered, but as long as they kept moving, the cold was bearable.

  Through the dark clouds, they could barely make out the orange hues in the sky as the sun began its descent behind the mountain. At first the trail didn’t seem too difficult as it meandered across the mountain somewhat horizontally. But when they got to the ridge and looked down, there was a steep slope with big moguls everywhere. Adam gripped his poles tighter and swallowed hard.

  This was not going to be good.

  Maddie glanced at him, wide-eyed.

  “You can do it,” he shouted over the wind.

  He tried to keep his face blank to disguise his growing apprehension. She nodded as they began the slow process of navigating their way down, barely able to see what was coming ahead of them. Adam feared that it might become a complete whiteout before long, but he kept that thought to himself. Maddie was quiet, her eyes on the trail, her face contorted as she concentrated intently on her every move.

  Based on his memory of the trail map, Adam estimated that they were approximately halfway down the mountain when he heard a loud, rumbling roar in the distance.

  Was that thunder? A train?

  He stopped and strained to hear. He couldn’t quite make it out, and then his eyes grew wide when it occurred to him where he had heard a sound like that before. His pulse quickened as he recalled a television show that he had seen about a month ago in which the extreme skiers compared the sound of an approaching avalanche to the sound of a freight train.

  The rumbling steadily grew louder as the realization hit him. He quickly looked at Maddie, and judging by the panicked look on her face, she knew it too.

  He shouted, “Pick up the pace,” as he squinted and searched for anything they could use as shelter—a rock or a fallen tree that they could get behind—but suddenly the avalanche was upon them.

  In the next instant, Adam felt himself tumbling down the mountain, caught up in a slide of snow, ice, and debris, tumbling over and over, out of control, tangled in his skis and poles. He couldn’t see or hear Maddie. He began to scream her name over and over, but he couldn’t even hear his own voice. All he could hear was the rumbling roar of the avalanche.

  He tumbled for what seemed like several minutes, although he didn’t know how long it actually was. His hand flailed as he desperately grabbed for stationary objects but couldn’t get a grip. He arched his back and dug in his ski poles and his heels, but he couldn’t overcome the force of the avalanche. He was helpless.

  His body jerked as he crashed against something hard, possibly a large bolder. He bounced off whatever it was like a rag doll and crashed back down onto another hard surface. He felt excruciating pain as something in his leg snapped.

  “Ahhh!” he screamed out in pain, but he hadn’t stopped tumbling. Then everything went black.

  Chapter 14

  When Adam finally came to, his eyes shot open. Maddie’s face hovered above his. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she frantically dug in the snow.

  “Adam, wake up! Are you okay? Can you hear me?”

  He tried to ask how long he had been out but couldn’t speak. His eyes widened as he realized that his mouth was packed with snow. He tried to move his arm to get the snow out of his mouth but an unknown force held it down. As he became more alert, he realized his entire body was buried in snow. He breathed rapidly as he tried to flail around to free himself. He was drowning in the snow.

  Maddie saw him struggling and quickly scooped the snow out of his mouth with her finger. He sputtered and coughed and gasped for air.

  Maddie blurted out, “Adam, you’re alive! Oh my god! I was so scared that you were dead. Are you okay?”

  All the while tears continued to stream down her face as she continued to dig his head and upper body out of the snow.

  He barely managed to get the words out. “I…don’t...know. I’m in a lot of pain. It’s my right leg.”

  She began digging his legs out of the snow. When she had moved enough snow to see his leg, her face contorted. She covered her face with her hands and tried to hide her reaction, but it was too late. Adam saw her look of horror, which confirmed his fears.

  Maddie sucked in a deep breath, steeled herself, and said, “Your leg is badly broken. Try not to move.”

  She began to pack the snow back on top of his leg.

  Once his entire leg was re-covered with snow, she said, “The snow will keep the swelling down and help with the pain—hopefully.”

  Adam’s teeth chattered audibly and his body began to shake—probably as much from shock as from the cold—as the temperature grew more frigid and the sky grew darker. He felt dull-headed and couldn’t organize his thoughts. It finally occurred to him to check to see if Maddie had been hurt. As his eyes scanned her over, he noticed that she had a big gash on her left forearm that spanned the length of her arm from the inner elbow to the wrist. Blood streamed out of the wound and stained the snow crimson.

  The sight of Maddie being hurt snapped him out of his stupor. His concern for her made him temporarily forget about the pain in his leg—maybe the freezing snow helped with that too.

  “Your…arm…is…bleeding,” he managed to say through chattering teeth.

  She glanced down at her arm and back at him and said, “Don’t worry about that right now. I’ll be fine.”

  Adam sat up, despite the excruciating pain that he felt in his leg. His head spun and for a moment he thought he was going to pass out. He shook his head and forced himself to sit up and focus. He started to unzip his ski coat.

  “Adam! What are you doing?” she screamed. “Stop it! You’re going to freeze to death.”

  He ignored her and continued to unzip his coat. He reached in under his sweater and ripped off part of the t-shirt that he wore underneath. He tore the shirt into strips and wrapped them around Maddie’s arm to stop the bleeding. When he was satisfied that the bleeding had stopped and that she would be okay, he collapsed back into the snow without even bothering to re-zip his coat.

  He winced in pain. It was becoming unbearable. He closed his eyes as Maddie re-zipped his coat. He felt himself fading and wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to remain conscious. When he opened his eyes again, the look of panic was back on Maddie’s face. She was saying something about needing to get him down the mountain an
d to a hospital as soon as possible. He was losing the ability to focus on what she was saying.

  Adam thought he heard her say, “Do you think you could walk if I helped to support you?”

  “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I…can…try.”

  His own voice sounded distant to him. She tried to lift him. He screamed and tasted bile. The usually simple act of sitting up and trying to stand almost made him puke and pass out.

  “Please stop,” he pleaded weakly.

  Maddie seemed to be talking to herself as she said, “Stay calm, Maddie. Stay calm. I wonder if I can drag you down.”

  She gripped his jacket and tugged hard. She managed to move him a couple of inches. Adam gritted his teeth and growled in an attempt to stifle a scream of agony.

  “Stop!”

  It was then that they both realized the full extent of the dire situation. It was unlikely that anyone would be able to find them on the mountain in the midst of the storm. Besides, who knew where the avalanche had taken them? And even if any rescuers knew where they were, they would not be able to get to them. There was no way Adam could make it down the mountain unassisted, and Maddie wasn’t strong enough to carry him.

  Maddie looked up at the western peak and glimpsed the last sliver of the setting sun through the dark clouds and flurries. Adam thought it seemed like the snow was intent on completely covering them and erasing their very existence.

  His body shivered uncontrollably. Through the fog of the pain and shock, Adam came to the terrifying realization that they would almost certainly die on the mountain. It was going to be their last night on the earth. How did they go from a having great day to this?

  Maddie still had a chance, though. She could probably make it to safety. He couldn’t allow both of them to die. His heart warmed at the thought of her surviving. It gave him a sliver of hope. He had to convince her to try. From that point on, all he could think of was saving Maddie’s life.

  Focus on saving Maddie. Ignore the pain. Ignore the urge to slip into unconsciousness right now. Don’t let her see your fear.

  Adam stared at Maddie and wondered what she was thinking. Her contorted face told him that she had come to the same conclusions.

  He said, “Maddie, you’re going to have to go for help.”

  Her eyes widened in disbelief as she said, “No! I’m not leaving you.”

  “You have to try,” he pleaded. “If you don’t go, we’re both going to die on this mountain.”

  “There’s no way I could make it down in time,” she sobbed. “Besides, even if I did make it down, how would anyone be able to get back up here in this storm?”

  “I can probably last through the night knowing that you’re safe. You can bring help in the morning,” he said weakly.

  She stared at him, horrified. Tears continued to stream down her face. Some seemed frozen in place. She tried to wipe them back with her gloves.

  They both fell silent for a few moments and let the gravity of their situation sink in. Then something passed over her face. Was it a look of peace?

  She must be about to lose it too.

  Or was it a look of resolve? Maddie straightened suddenly, as if set in determination. She lowered her face inches away from Adam’s and looked directly into his eyes, as if her next words were of the utmost importance. She cupped his face in her gloved hands.

  “Adam, listen carefully to me. I’m not leaving you on this mountain. And we are not going to die tonight,” she said with conviction.

  She said it with such certainty that Adam wanted to believe her. But he knew that she was just putting on a brave face for his sake. His head started spinning again. He tried one more attempt. Maybe begging would help.

  “Please listen to me, Maddie!” he pleaded. “Now is not the time to be strong-willed. I don’t want you to die. I could never forgive myself for that. I’ll be fine. You go get help. It’s the only way we might have a chance. Please!”

  “No! I am not letting you die up here alone! We are going to make it!” she screamed.

  She spoke the words so forcefully and with such resolve and determination that he knew she meant them. He couldn’t talk her out of it. He felt his body slump further into the ground. Sadly, he realized that she would not leave him. His last sliver of hope for her survival was snuffed out. As much as she tried to hide the truth with her words, he knew without a doubt that they would freeze to death on the mountain. Adam loathed this complete and utter helplessness. He felt despair crush his chest as he struggled to breathe. But he wanted to, had to, stay composed for her.

  She lay down in the snow and faced him as she pressed her body close to his. In happier times, this would’ve been a welcome gesture. But seeing her give up and prepare to die with him was more than he could bear. He closed his eyes and, with a childlike hope, thought that if he couldn’t see what was happening, then it must not really be happening. He tried to erect a mental block from all the pain and despair and hopelessness.

  He felt her wrap her arms around him and the warmth of her breath on his cheek. He knew this was going to be their last moment together, their last embrace, but he had no words to say.

  What do you say when you and the person you love the most in this world are about to die?

  There was only one thing to say. He wrapped his arms around her as best he could and said, “I love you, Maddie.”

  A fresh batch of tears welled up in her eyes as a smile spread across her face. She hugged him even more tightly and said softly, “I love you, too, Adam. Don’t worry. I promise you, we are not going to die on this mountain.”

  He had to smile at her earnest attempt to comfort him, even though he knew that the promise she had just made could not be kept. She loved him, and that was all he needed to hear. He clung to that thought as they lay there in the snow together, arms wrapped around each other in their last embrace.

  Adam started to feel himself losing consciousness, and he didn’t think he could fight it any longer. He heard his own voice as if it were coming from somewhere far away, say, “Maddie, kiss me.”

  She moved in closer and pressed her lips to his. This would be their last kiss. All of the love that he felt for her spread throughout his body. He hoped that she could feel it too. If he had to die, this was the way to go. Knowing that she loved him was enough. He closed his eyes again and gave in to the powerful urge to go to sleep and never wake up.

  As he drifted into unconsciousness, he heard her ghostlike voice comforting him, like a mother comforting a child.

  “That’s right, Adam,” she said. “Just rest now. Think warm thoughts.”

  She quietly repeated, “Think warm thoughts. Think warm thoughts.”

  In his last conscious moments, Adam felt a sudden warmth spread over his entire body. He thought he must be close to death. It wasn’t the kind of warmth that comes from another person’s body heat—there was no way that Maddie’s body could have generated that amount of heat in the snow and freezing temperatures. He felt the kind of warmth that one feels from the sun on the beach in ninety-degree weather. What a wonderful, welcome sensation. He was enveloped in a warmth that comforted and relaxed him. His body quit shivering. His teeth quit chattering. He couldn’t hold on any longer. He drifted off into oblivion.

  Chapter 15

  Adam awoke to a blinding light and a faint beeping noise. He squinted as his eyes grew accustomed to the light.

  Where am I?

  He glanced to his right, where the intense light streamed in from a large window. He quickly looked down to avert his eyes. His brow furrowed when he saw that he was in a bed with metal railing and tubes attached to his arms. His eyes darted to the foot of the bed.

  Was that a cast on his leg?

  The beeping sound came from some sort of instrument on a pole next to the bed. A woman he assumed to be a nurse adjusted the settings. He loo
ked to his left. Maddie sat beside the bed reading a book. When she heard him stir, her head snapped up and she stared at him with wide eyes. She jumped to her feet and threw her arms around his neck.

  “Adam, you’re awake!” she cried. “Oh my god! I’m so glad you’re okay!”

  Tears streamed down her face.

  Why was she crying?

  He heard another familiar voice say, “Easy now, don’t squeeze him so hard that you hurt him.”

  There were other people in the room. He slowly turned his head in the direction of the voice and saw Zach, Claire, and his parents. They moved closer to the bed and gathered around him. They all looked relieved and happy.

  Adam heard his dad say, “Son, you had us so worried.”

  Maddie moved back to let his mother and father hug him.

  His mom was crying too. She kept repeating, “I thought we had lost you. Baby, I thought we had lost you.”

  Adam pursed his lips and knitted his brow.

  What the heck was going on?

  He rubbed his eyes and tried to remember. Zach and Claire hugged him too. It was good to see them, but he couldn’t make sense of it all. Then, memories began to flash in his mind: skiing, a storm, an avalanche, a broken leg. Adam glanced down at his leg again, which was hoisted up at the foot of the bed and covered with a very large plaster cast from his foot to mid-thigh.

  He remembered lying in the snow with Maddie. He remembered thinking they were going to die. But they hadn’t.

  He strained to remember anything beyond that.

  His eyes met Maddie’s and he said in a hoarse voice, “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she said as she smiled her beautiful smile, wiping tears away.

  Adam noticed that she had a large bandage wrapped around her arm where the gash had been. She saw him look at the bandage and rubbed it absentmindedly as she said, “It’s okay. It just needed a few stitches.”

  “A few?” said Zach. “More like forty.”