The Hidden Room

by C S Joseph

  When she told him that she was pregnant, he saw an opportunity, an opportunity to be with someone who would treat him the way he deserved to be treated. There was an opportunity to have a child who would be his. Zachary always sided with his mother. They were two peas in a pod. That frustration was exacerbated when Julia became a part of their lives. Zachary loved her. Sometimes, Aiden almost thought that Zachary loved her more than he could ever love him. Aiden loved Zachary; of course he loved him. He just had a hard time bonding with him. He had spoken to Zachary on the phone while Julia was visiting. All he did was talk about how amazing she was and all the fun things she did with him. Aiden had listened to his son and wondered if his new child would love him.

  His mind wandered back to his current predicament. Petrovich needed to call him soon. He was running out of time. It was that thought that made him angry, running out of time and needing to rely on a criminal who was beneath him. When Aiden syphoned off the quarter of a million dollars from the foundation, there was a solid plan in place to get the money back quickly, before anyone noticed. Now, the IRS was doing an audit. Construction needed to get started at the warehouse. That was the only way his cash flow would get started.

  He grabbed his phone and left the office. “I’ll be at home the rest of the day,” he said, as he walked past his assistant. He got on the elevator and went down to the parking garage. He knew the ridiculous protocol that Nikolai insisted upon. He hung up after three rings. He called again with another three rings. Now, all he needed to do was wait for the return phone call. He rounded the last turn toward his house, and he heard his phone ring. He smiled as he answered, “Petrovich, I need to know your decision. Can you front the cash or not?”

  “For the permit? I haven’t heard back from my accountant on the availability of the funding. The contractor is on board to get started without the retainer. I’m not helping you with your other problem.”

  “I just need a quarter million to quietly put back. I’ll pay it back. With interest.”

  “I’m not doing that. You wanted out. I said you were out. Find another way to fix your mess.” The phone beeped after Nikolai hung up.

  “Goddammit.” Aiden threw the phone across the car. He pulled into the driveway. Janice was waiting for him. She got in the car, and they headed to a small restaurant. They sat down in a booth and didn’t notice the woman sitting alone at the bar. Aiden was too frustrated, and Janice was excited that he had come home early. She launched into conversation with him. After a while, the woman at the bar quietly walked out.

  †

  “Hello.” The husk of her voice made her knees weak for a split second.

  “Julia, hi. It’s me. I hope you had a great vacation.”

  “Hey, Caitlyn.” Julia hadn’t checked the caller ID before she answered her cell phone. “Yeah, we got a lot of work done. Thanks for asking.”

  “I…um. I miss you, Julia.” She closed her eyes and chastised herself. Now she was just putting her heart on her sleeve. “I want to see you.”

  Julia didn’t answer right away and Caitlyn’s heart sank.

  “Look, Caitlyn. I really like you. I am so happy that we were able to have the time together that we did. But if you and I see each other, I feel like I would be leading you on.”

  Caitlyn felt her heart sinking deeper. When she’d seen Aiden walking in the restaurant and kissing the woman he was with, Caitlyn knew she could help Reese and Julia. If she couldn’t be with Julia, she wanted her to be happy. Maybe, one day, they could be friends. Caitlyn wanted someone like Julia Porter in her life.

  “I actually had another reason for seeing you. I was out earlier today, and I saw Aiden. He was out with a woman. I took some photos.”

  “Seriously? Could you can send the photos to my cell phone?”

  “Julia, I’d like for us to have a conversation.” Caitlyn knew she needed to maintain emotional distance. That didn’t mean they couldn’t work through being friends. They agreed to meet for dinner the next night.

  †

  Reese unpacked the last few boxes that were left in the closet. She looked at the living room and decided to leave it alone and go for a walk. She made her way around the property and thought about her dilemma. She knew that if she asked for a divorce outright, Aiden would press back. The last time she’d suggested divorce, he’d started staying home more often. It was even more stifling. She didn’t care for his effort and told him that she’d reconsidered her offer. He soon went back to staying out late and she relaxed.

  They needed to have a talk. It wasn’t going to be comfortable. She’d moved to the middle of Oregon with the sole intention of making her marriage work. She knew now that she couldn’t make her marriage work. She was starting to feel guilty again. Being with Julia for two weeks had made her realize that she was in love with her. Reese had never felt that way about Aiden, and he never made it easy for her. He’d tried to be a good husband early on in their marriage. He’d tried to compliment her and surprise her with little gifts and gestures of what he thought was love.

  For a while, the effort almost made her like him. Back then, it was the little things that she held on to. She knew it could always be worse. Divorce was the worst for children and finances. She thought about time without her son and her chest tightened. Reese walked into her new kitchen and made herself a salad for lunch. As she sat at the island to eat, she thought about Clara and went to her room to grab one of the journals.

  Chapter Sixteen

  July 6, 1919

  This morning, Arthur woke me and told me to get ready for church. We haven’t gone to church since our wedding. I was a little shocked but did not dare ask him why. I’ve learned to keep my mouth closed. Any questions I may ask turn into a slap across my cheek or a shove to the floor. He does not give the same treatment to Emma or Mrs. Hartley. Of course, they do not speak much to him, unless they are responding with, “Yes, sir.” He walks around the house and gives orders. We all cower and obey.

  As I was getting dressed, I heard him yell at Mrs. Hartley and Emma to dress in their Sunday best. They would be accompanying us to town. That gave me a brief moment of relief. I would not have to ride with him alone. I always feel safer when I have someone in the room with me. It’s when he pulls me into a room alone that I have started to lose time.

  When he touches me, I have learned that I can close my eyes and no longer be there with him. He doesn’t know that I’m gone. I’m on a beach. I’m back in my father’s house. Sometimes, I’m floating on a cloud. I’m not there with him. I’m never there with him. When I wake up, he has left the room or is asleep. There are times when I wonder why my jaw is so sore. Other times, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder when my eye has gotten so bruised.

  After we’d readied, we all climbed into the carriage and made our way to town. Lighthearted banter filled my ears, yet I do not recall what was said. The birds sung in the trees, blissfully unaware of the pain I’ve lived through. Sunlight danced along the road, as trees seemed to tango with the blowing wind. The world around me always goes on.

  Soon enough, we arrived at a small white building. A man wearing black stood on a small porch, as men, women, and children shook his hand and entered. The steps seemed to spring slightly beneath my feet, as I ascended toward the man. Arthur stepped in front of me and shook his hand. He introduced me as his wife and waved toward Emma and her mother, dismissing them as his servants. Father Bronwyn possessed kind eyes. He nodded politely and welcomed us to his church.

  We walked inside, and Arthur told us to sit in the back row. I was able to sit next to Emma. I felt her warmth next to me. The sermon was simple. He talked about David and Goliath. David was a man of God, praised him all his life. He became a king. Goliath was a giant and was tormenting everyone. The Father told us that when we know how much God loves us, nothing is too big for us to handle. David praised God and killed his giant. I closed my eyes and prayed for God to save me from mine.

  Arthur walked ar
ound and introduced me to people he’d met in town. He told everyone that we were expecting a child and how proud he is and how much he loves us. He also told them that he is an architect, and if anyone needed his services, to please let him know. He said he was still traveling to Portland but wants to stay home more often with us once the baby is born. People smiled at him and wished him luck. They congratulated us on our happy future and offered to help as they could once the baby is born.

  There was one man that Arthur seemed to really like. He was the town banker. They ended up talking for quite a while. He invited Arthur and me over for dinner with his wife, later in the week. Arthur was in a joyous mood for the rest of the day. Mrs. Hartley made us all a delicious dinner, and he even invited them to join us at the table. He thanked them for taking care of me when he is on his travels. He told us that he needs to leave again in the morning. He asked Emma to make sure that I make it to church every Sunday. She agreed. He told me who I am allowed to speak to and who I am not to ever have contact with. He finished giving us the rules we are to live by while he is gone. He’s received a new commission down along the waterfront for a number of new warehouses. He’ll be gone for a few months. We will be free for the rest of the summer. I started to dread the come of the fall.

  September 13, 1919

  Arthur came home on Friday and surprised the three of us by demanding that we all pack some things. We would be traveling back to Portland for the weekend. He arranged a suite for us on the eighth floor of the Portland Hotel. He was so proud of the room and told us who designed the building. He was most excited that a member of the design team was a prominent New York architect who had worked on the Pennsylvania Station and worked with Arthur’s own mentor, Henry Hobson Richardson. I have no idea who these people are, but Arthur seemed to be very impressed and made it clear that we needed to be in awe of what he was sharing with us.

  Saturday morning, he took us down to where his buildings are starting to take shape. He looked around all the workers areas and described what the building would look like once it is built. It was the first time in a long time that he seemed giddy as a school boy. I looked at Emma, and I knew she was shocked too. We were enjoying ourselves. Mrs. Hartley was very impressed and asked many questions, which Arthur allowed. He explained to her how important proportion and order are to all buildings and spoke of the ancient Romans as his inspiration.

  After a wonderful lunch, he took us to a theater and we got to see a brand new motion picture called, “The Hoodlum.” Mary Pickford played a woman named Amy. She was a wealthy young woman living with her grandfather. She ended up choosing to live with her father in a slum. She adapted to the life and met new people. I felt as though that was my life as well, only I am adapting to life far from my father.

  Arthur took us to dinner and dancing. He was very excited to dance the foxtrot and castle walk with me. He became tired and pulled Emma in and asked her to help him by dancing with me. With all of the walking around we did that day, I was tired. The baby was moving around like mad, and I wanted to sit down. This was my chance to dance with Emma. We laughed and danced late into the night. We all slept heavily once we retired to the hotel. Another perk of being six months pregnant, is that Arthur does not have a desire for sex. He doesn’t even try it. I wish I could stay pregnant forever.

  The next morning, the glee continued as we were escorted back home. Arthur is staying in Portland for another two weeks. Emma and Mrs. Hartley could not believe the fun we’d experienced. Mrs. Hartley believes, perhaps, Arthur was finally touched by God, since we have been attending church. Perhaps God has saved us all. It was a good thought. Once we were home, Emma came into my room after the moon appeared. She kissed me and held me and told me that she never enjoyed dancing as much as she had with me. She started to hum a tune. She got out of bed and offered her hand to me. I took it and we foxtrotted around the room for a few minutes, until we started laughing. We fell onto the bed, and she put her hand on what is becoming a noticeable bump. She continued to hum the tune and asked the little one if he or she could hear her. We decided to get under the covers, and she held me and kissed me. We talked about being able to dance together in public and how wonderful that felt. After a while, we finally fell asleep.

  October 1, 1919

  I couldn’t sleep at all last night. The baby seemed to want to spread my ribs apart from the inside, rolling around in there without a care that it was time to sleep. I’d finally drifted into a dreamless slumber when the sun assaulted me. I struggled to get out of the bed, and Emma spent time rubbing my lower back.

  Pregnancy is the most incredible and challenging experience I’ve ever gone through. It is difficult to put into words how physically and emotionally exhausting it is to create a human being. At times, I feel a bit isolated, because Emma hasn’t experienced it for herself. I shared with her when I felt the baby move for the first time. She laid her head on my stomach, and I told her that I felt something. She spoke softly into the fabric of my dress. I felt a fluttering. For the next week, when we could, we continued to talk to the little one. Finally, she placed her hand there and felt a bump against her palm. She looked up at me, and I knew that she’d felt it. Excitement filled us both. Now, when Arthur is gone, we lay in bed and expose my large belly to watch, as the baby rolls around. We tell the tiny one how much we will love him. Sometimes, we talk about what it would be like to have a little girl. The dresses we would buy her.

  I have started going into town to get ready for the baby. We have a small bed ready and Mrs. Hartley has made three blankets. In the afternoon, Emma and I went to town. We saw a woman from church. I couldn’t remember her name, but she remembered ours. She told us that she was thinking about how lonely we must be when my husband is not at home. We spoke of the baby, and she asked us if we wanted to have dinner with her family later in the week. Emma encouraged me to attend. I agreed. The woman said that Emma and her mother were also invited. The woman used to have many friends, but many have moved to Portland. She wishes to meet new friends. She said she wished to give us a present for the baby. We are grateful for her friendship. Parting ways, she expressed her joy at our acceptance for dinner.

  Arthur had unexpectedly come home. He was very angry that I was not there when he arrived and was screaming at Mrs. Hartley, demanding to know where I was. She told him that I’d gone to town for some shopping. When I walked inside, Emma behind me carrying in the items that we’d purchased, he did not relax. He grabbed the items and inspected them. He saw some of the food we’d brought home and ordered Mrs. Hartley to start making dinner. She grabbed the cans Arthur had inspected, and Emma carried the rest into the kitchen.

  I stood there waiting for him. He paced the room and finally turned to me. He explained how frightened he had been when I was not there when he arrived. He thought something awful happened to me or the baby. He began to weep and wrapped me into his arms. I was still quite scared. He pulled away and wiped his eyes. He put his hand on my stomach and commented on how much the baby has grown. He asked me to sit with him on the davenport. He started to tell me of his adventures in Portland. The construction on his warehouses is coming along, and the progress is something that he is very impressed with.

  He seemed to be back to his calm self. We sat at the table, and he told Emma and her mother to eat in the kitchen. They were not to join us. He began to ask questions of what we’d done in town. He asked if we’d spoken to anyone. I told him that I saw someone, whose name I couldn’t remember. I explained that she offered for me to join her and her family for dinner, later in the week, and that she was going to give us a present for the baby. He asked me what her name was. I couldn’t remember. He became angry and stood up and slapped me across the face.

  After the initial shock of the pain, I looked up and saw Emma standing in the doorway of the kitchen. He ordered her to leave, and I lost time. When I awoke, I was lying in bed. A doctor was standing over me, pleased that I was finally waking. He told me that I need
ed to remain in bed for the remainder of my pregnancy, as my clumsiness was a threat to the baby. He scolded me for falling down the stairs. He finished his examination and left the room. Arthur entered and asked me to be still. He leaned in close and told me to keep my mouth shut about what happened. He told me that I was going to have to cancel my dinner and that he was heading back to Portland in the morning. Being on bedrest made him feel better that I wouldn’t wander into town again.

  After he left the room, I looked around me. I realized that I did remember the woman’s name. It was Agnes Harper. Her husband was a kind man named Gregory. She has two little children, both boys. Joshua and Elijah. Why couldn’t I have remembered when it mattered? Before I lost time. My mind seems to be playing tricks on me.

  October 26, 1919

  I am already sick and tired of this room. I am starting to hate everything about it. The only joy I have is that Arthur is still gone and I have Emma to keep me company. She helps me out of bed three times a day and allows me to walk around. She told me what happened that night. Arthur yanked me by my hair and shoved me into a wall. She said the damage is still there, it has not been repaired. She said that when she and Mrs. Hartley ran toward me on the floor, he did something he’d never done. He raised his hand to both women. They had their own injuries to tend to. He apologized to them, when he realized that he needed to call a doctor because I was unable to wake up.

  Mrs. Hartley came to see me today. We had an interesting conversation. She revealed to me that she and my father had fallen in love. She misses him terribly and told me that he would not want me to stay with Arthur. Now that I am going to be a mother, I need to protect the baby. She wants me to leave once the baby is born. I explained that I don’t have money or anywhere to go where he wouldn’t find me. She told me that Emma loves me and would find a way to take care of me. I’m not sure if she knows that Emma and I are in love. Still, she wore her sincerity on her sleeve.