The Short Plays of Harold Pinter

by The Short Plays of Harold Pinter (retail) (epub)

  They drink.

  By the way, I’ve just seen your wife. What a beautiful kitten she has. You should see it, Bill; it’s all white. We had a very pleasant chat, your wife and I. Listen … old chap … can I be quite blunt with you?

  JAMES Of course.

  HARRY Your wife … you see … made a little tiny confession to me. I think I can use that word.

  Pause.

  BILL is sucking his hand.

  What she confessed was … that she’d made the whole thing up. She’d made the whole damn thing up. For some odd reason of her own. They never met, you see, Bill and your wife; they never even spoke. This is what Bill says, and this is now what your wife admits. They had nothing whatever to do with each other; they don’t know each other. Women are very strange. But I suppose you know more about that than I do; she’s your wife. If I were you I’d go home and knock her over the head with a saucepan and tell her not to make up such stories again.

  Pause.

  JAMES She made the whole thing up, eh?

  HARRY I’m afraid she did.

  JAMES I see. Well, thanks very much for telling me.

  HARRY I thought it would be clearer for you, coming from someone completely outside the whole matter.

  JAMES Yes. Thank you.

  HARRY Isn’t that so, Bill?

  BILL Oh, quite so. I don’t even know the woman. Wouldn’t know her if I saw her. Pure fantasy.

  JAMES How’s your hand?

  BILL Not bad.

  JAMES Isn’t it strange that you confirmed the whole of her story?

  BILL It amused me to do so.

  JAMES Oh?

  BILL Yes. You amused me. You wanted me to confirm it. It amused me to do so.

  Pause.

  HARRY Bill’s a slum boy, you see, he’s got a slum sense of humour. That’s why I never take him along with me to parties. Because he’s got a slum mind. I have nothing against slum minds per se, you understand, nothing at all. There’s a certain kind of slum mind which is perfectly all right in a slum, but when this kind of slum mind gets out of the slum it sometimes persists, you see, it rots everything. That’s what Bill is. There’s something faintly putrid about him, don’t you find? Like a slug. There’s nothing wrong with slugs in their place, but he’s a slum slug; there’s nothing wrong with slum slugs in their place, but this one won’t keep his place – he crawls all over the walls of nice houses, leaving slime, don’t you, boy? He confirms stupid sordid little stories just to amuse himself, while everyone else has to run round in circles to get to the root of the matter and smooth the whole thing out. All he can do is sit and suck his bloody hand and decompose like the filthy putrid slum slug he is. What about another whisky, Home?

  JAMES No, I think I must be off now. Well, I’m glad to hear that nothing did happen. Great relief to me.

  HARRY It must be.

  JAMES My wife’s not been very well lately, actually. Overwork.

  HARRY That’s bad. Still, you know what it’s like in our business.

  JAMES Best thing to do is take her on a long holiday, I think.

  HARRY South of France.

  JAMES The Isles of Greece.

  HARRY Sun’s essential, of course.

  JAMES I know. Bermuda.

  HARRY Perfect.

  JAMES Well, thanks very much, Mr Kane, for clearing my mind. I don’t think I’ll mention it when I get home. Take her out for a drink or something. Forget all about it.

  HARRY Better hurry up. It’s nearly closing time.

  JAMES moves to BILL, who is sitting.

  JAMES I’m very sorry I cut your hand. You’re lucky you caught it, of course. Otherwise it might have cut your mouth. Still, it’s not too bad, is it?

  Pause.

  Look … I really think I ought to apologise for this silly story my wife made up. The fault is really all hers, and mine, for believing her. You’re not to blame for taking it as you did. The whole thing must have been an impossible burden for you. What do you say we shake hands, as a testimony of my goodwill?

  JAMES extends his hand. BILL rubs his hand but does not extend it.

  HARRY Come on, Billy, I think we’ve had enough of this stupidity, don’t you?

  Pause.

  BILL I’ll… tell you … the truth.

  HARRY Oh, for God’s sake, don’t be ridiculous. Come on, Mr Home, off you go now, back to your wife, old boy, leave this … tyke to me.

  JAMES does not move. He looks down at BILL.

  Come on, Jimmy, I think we’ve had enough of this stupidity, don’t you?

  JAMES looks at him sharply. HARRY stops still.

  BILL I never touched her … we sat … in the lounge, on a sofa … for two hours … talked … we talked about it … we didn’t … move from the lounge… never went to her room … just talked … about what we would do … if we did get to hei room … two hours … we never touched … we just talked about it …

  Long silence.

  JAMES leaves the house.

  HARRY sits. BILL remains sitting sucking his hand.

  Silence.

  Fade house to half light.

  Fade up full on flat.

  STELLA is lying with the kitten.

  The flat door closes. JAMES comes in. He stands looking at her.

  JAMES You didn’t do anything, did you?

  Pause.

  He wasn’t in your room. You just talked about it, in the lounge.

  Pause.

  That’s the truth, isn’t it?

  Pause.

  You just sat and talked about what you would do if you went to your room. That’s what you did.

  Pause.

  Didn’t you?

  Pause.

  That’s the truth … isn’t it?

  STELLA looks at him, neither confirming nor denying. Her face is friendly, sympathetic.

  Fade flat to half light.

  The four figures are still, in the half light.

  Fade to blackout.

  Curtain.

  THE LOVER

  The Lover first published by

  Methuen & Co. 1963,

  second edition 1964

  © FPinter Limited, 1963, 1964

  The Lover was first broadcast by Associated-Rediffusion Television, London, on 28 March 1963, with the following cast:

  RICHARD Alan Badel

  SARAH Vivien Merchant

  JOHN Michael Forest

  Directed by Joan Kemp-Welch

  The play was first presented on stage by Michael Codron and David Hall at the Arts Theatre, London, on 18 September 1963, with the following cast:

  RICHARD Scott Forbes

  SARAH Vivien Merchant

  JOHN Michael Forest

  Directed by Harold Pinter assisted by Guy Vaesen

  It was produced at the Young Vic in June 1987 with the following cast:

  RICHARD Simon Williams

  SARAH Judy Buxton

  JOHN Malcolm Ward

  Directed by Kevin Billington

  Characters

  RICHARD

  SARAH

  JOHN

  Summer.

  A detached house near Windsor.

  The stage consists of two areas. Living room right, with small hall and front door up centre. Bedroom and balcony, on a level, left. There is a short flight of stairs to bedroom door. Kitchen off right. A table with a long velvet cover stands against the left wall of the living room, centre stage. In the small hall there is a cupboard. The furnishings are tasteful, comfortable.

  SARAH is emptying and dusting ashtrays in the living room. It is morning. She wears a crisp, demure dress. RICHARD comes into the bedroom from bathroom, off left, collects his briefcase from hall cupboard, goes to SARAH, kisses her on the cheek. He looks at her for a moment smiling. She smiles.

  RICHARD (amiably) Is your lover coming today?

  SARAH Mmnn.

  RICHARD What time?

  SARAH Three.

  RICHARD Will you be going out … or staying in?

/>   SARAH Oh … I think we’ll stay in.

  RICHARD I thought you wanted to go to that exhibition.

  SARAH I did, yes … but I think I’d prefer to stay in with him today.

  RICHARD Mmn-hmmn. Well, I must be off.

  He goes to the hall and puts on his bowler hat.

  RICHARD Will he be staying long do you think?

  SARAH Mmmnnn …

  RICHARD About … six, then.

  SARAH Yes.

  RICHARD Have a pleasant afternoon.

  SARAH Mmnn.

  RICHARD Bye-bye.

  SARAH Bye.

  He opens the front door and goes out. She continues dusting. The lights fade.

  Fade up. Early evening. SARAH comes into room from kitchen. She wears the same dress, but is now wearing a pair of very high-heeled shoes. She pours a drink and sits on chaise longue with magazine. There are six chimes of the clock. Richard comes in the front door. He wears a sober suit, as in the morning. He puts his briefcase down in the hall and goes into the room. She smiles at him and pours him a whisky.

  Hullo.

  RICHARD Hullo.

  He kisses her on the cheek. Takes glass, hands her the evening paper and sits down left. She sits on chaise longue with paper.

  Thanks.

  He drinks, sits back and sighs with contentment.

  Aah.

  SARAH Tired?

  RICHARD Just a little.

  SARAH Bad traffic?

  RICHARD No. Quite good traffic, actually.

  SARAH Oh, good.

  RICHARD Very smooth.

  Pause.

  SARAH It seemed to me you were just a little late.

  RICHARD Am I?

  SARAH Just a little.

  RICHARD There was a bit of a jam on the bridge.

  SARAH gets up, goes to drinks table to collect her glass, sits again on the chaise longue.

  Pleasant day?

  SARAH Mmn. I was in the village this morning.

  RICHARD Oh yes? See anyone?

  SARAH Not really, no. Had lunch.

  RICHARD In the village?

  SARAH Yes.

  RICHARD Any good?

  SARAH Quite fair. (She sits.)

  RICHARD What about this afternoon? Pleasant afternoon?

  SARAH Oh yes. Quite marvellous.

  RICHARD Your lover came, did he?

  SARAH Mmnn. Oh yes.

  RICHARD Did you show him the hollyhocks?

  Slight pause.

  SARAH The hollyhocks?

  RICHARD Yes.

  SARAH No, I didn’t.

  RICHARD Oh.

  SARAH Should I have done?

  RICHARD No, no. It’s simply that I seem to remember your saying he was interested in gardening.

  SARAH Mmnn, yes, he is.

  Pause.

  Not all that interested, actually.

  RICHARD Ah.

  Pause.

  Did you go out at all, or did you stay in?

  SARAH We stayed in.

  RICHARD Ah. (He looks up at the Venetian blinds.) That blind hasn’t been put up properly.

  SARAH Yes, it is a bit crooked, isn’t it?

  Pause.

  RICHARD Very sunny on the road. Of course, by the time I got on to it the sun was beginning to sink. But I imagine it was quite warm here this afternoon. It was warm in the City.

  SARAH Was it?

  RICHARD Pretty stifling. I imagine it was quite warm everywhere.

  SARAH Quite a high temperature, I believe.

  RICHARD Did it say so on the wireless?

  SARAH I think it did, yes.

  Slight pause.

  RICHARD One more before dinner?

  SARAH Mmn.

  He pours drinks.

  RICHARD I see you had the Venetian blinds down.

  SARAH We did, yes.

  RICHARD The light was terribly strong.

  SARAH It was. Awfully strong.

  RICHARD The trouble with this room is that it catches the sun so directly, when it’s shining. You didn’t move to another room?

  SARAH No. We stayed here.

  RICHARD Must have been blinding.

  SARAH It was. That’s why we put the blinds down.

  Pause.

  RICHARD The thing is it gets so awfully hot in here with the blinds down.

  SARAH Would you say so?

  RICHARD Perhaps not. Perhaps it’s just that you feel hotter.

  SARAH Yes. That’s probably it.

  Pause.

  What did you do this afternoon?

  RICHARD Long meeting. Rather inconclusive.

  SARAH It’s a cold supper. Do you mind?

  RICHARD Not in the least.

  SARAH I didn’t seem to have time to cook anything today.

  She moves towards the kitchen.

  RICHARD Oh, by the way … I rather wanted to ask you something.

  SARAH What?

  RICHARD Does it ever occur to you that while you’re spending the afternoon being unfaithful to me I’m sitting at a desk going through balance sheets and graphs?

  SARAH What a funny question.

  RICHARD No, I’m curious.

  SARAH You’ve never asked me that before.

  RICHARD I’ve always wanted to know.

  Slight pause.

  SARAH Well, of course it occurs to me.

  RICHARD Oh, it does?

  SARAH Mmnn.

  Slight pause.

  RICHARD What’s your attitude to that, then?

  SARAH It makes it all the more piquant.

  RICHARD Does it really?

  SARAH Of course.

  RICHARD You mean while you’re with him … you actually have a picture of me, sitting at my desk going through balance sheets?

  SARAH Only at… certain times.

  RICHARD Of course.

  SARAH Not all the time.

  RICHARD Well, naturally.

  SARAH At particular moments.

  RICHARD Mmnn. But, in fact, I’m not completely forgotten?

  SARAH Not by any means.

  RICHARD That’s rather touching, I must admit.

  Pause.

  SARAH How could I forget you?

  RICHARD Quite easily, I should think.

  SARAH But I’m in your house.

  RICHARD With another.

  SARAH But it’s you I love.

  RICHARD I beg your pardon?

  SARAH But it’s you I love.

  Pause. He looks at her, proffers his glass.

  RICHARD Let’s have another drink.

  She moves forward. He withdraws his glass, looks at her shoes.

  What shoes are they?

  SARAH Mmnn?

  RICHARD Those shoes. They’re unfamiliar. Very high-heeled, aren’t they?

  SARAH (muttering) Mistake. Sorry.

  RICHARD (not hearing) Sorry? I beg your pardon?

  SARAH I’ll … take them off.

  RICHARD Not quite the most comfortable shoes for an evening at home, I would have thought.

  She goes into hall, opens cupboard, puts high-heeled shoes into cupboard, puts on low-heeled shoes. He moves to drinks table, pours himself a drink. She moves to centre table, lights a cigarette.

  So you had a picture of me this afternoon, did you, sitting in my office?

  SARAH I did, yes. It wasn’t a terribly convincing one, though.

  RICHARD Oh, why not?

  SARAH Because I knew you weren’t there. I knew you were with your mistress.

  Pause.

  RICHARD Was I?

  Short pause.

  SARAH Aren’t you hungry?

  RICHARD I had a heavy lunch.

  SARAH How heavy?

  He stands at the window.

  RICHARD What a beautiful sunset.

  SARAH Weren’t you?

  He turns and laughs.

  RICHARD What mistress?

  SARAH Oh, Richard …

  RICHARD No, no, it’s simply the word that’s so odd.

  SARAH Is it? Wh
y?

  Slight pause.

  I’m honest with you, aren’t I? Why can’t you be honest with me?

  RICHARD But I haven’t got a mistress. I’m very well acquainted with a whore, but I haven’t got a mistress. There’s a world of difference.

  SARAH A whore?

  RICHARD (taking an olive) Yes. Just a common or garden slut. Not worth talking about. Handy between trains, nothing more.

  SARAH You don’t travel by train. You travel by car.

  RICHARD Quite. A quick cup of while cocoa they’re checking the oil and water.

  Pause.

  SARAH Sounds utterly sterile

  RICHARD No.

  Pause.

  SARAH I must say I never expected you to admit it so readily.

  RICHARD Oh, why not? You’ve never put it to me so bluntly before, have you? Frankness at all costs. Essential to a healthy marriage. Don’t you agree?

  SARAH Of course.

  RICHARD You agree.

  SARAH Entirely.

  RICHARD I mean, you’re utterly frank with me, aren’t you?

  SARAH Utterly.

  RICHARD About your lover. I must follow your example.

  SARAH Thank you.

  Pause.

  Yes, I have suspected it for some time.

  RICHARD Have you really?

  SARAH Mmnn.

  RICHARD Perceptive.

  SARAH But, quite honesdy, I can’t really believe she’s just… what you say.