The Short Plays of Harold Pinter
Page 34
Pause.
Daddy is kind and so is Mummy. We all have breakfast together every morning in the kitchen. What’s happening?
Pause.
HORNBY One day suddenly you stopped.
DEBORAH Stopped?
HORNBY Yes.
Pause.
You fell asleep and no one could wake you. But although I use the word sleep, it was not strictly sleep.
DEBORAH Oh, make up your mind!
Pause.
You mean you thought I was asleep but I was actually awake?
HORNBY Neither asleep nor awake.
DEBORAH Was I dreaming?
HORNBY Were you?
DEBORAH Well was I? I don’t know.
Pause.
I’m not terribly pleased about all this. I’m going to ask a few questions in a few minutes. One of them might be: What did I look like while I was asleep, or while I was awake, or whatever it was I was? Bet you can’t tell me.
HORNBY You were quite still. Fixed. Most of the time.
DEBORAH Show me.
Pause.
Show me what I looked like.
He demonstrates a still, fixed position. She studies him. She laughs, stops abruptly.
Most of the time? What about the rest of the time?
HORNBY You were taken for walks twice a week. We encouraged your legs to move.
Pause.
At other times you would suddenly move of your own volition very quickly, very quickly indeed, spasmodically, for short periods, and as suddenly as you began you would stop.
Pause.
DEBORAH Did you ever see … tears … well in my eyes?
HORNBY No.
DEBORAH And when I laughed … did you laugh with me?
HORNBY You never laughed.
DEBORAH Of course I laughed. I have a laughing nature.
Pause.
Right. I’ll get up now.
He moves to her.
No! Don’t! Don’t be ridiculous.
She eases herself out of the bed, stands, falls. He moves to her.
No! Don’t! Don’t! Don’t! Don’t! touch me.
She stands, very slowly. He retreats, watching.
She stands still, begins to walk, in slow motion, towards him.
Let us dance.
She dances, by herself, in slow motion.
I dance.
She dances.
I’ve kept in practice, you know. I’ve been dancing in very narrow spaces. Kept stubbing my toes and bumping my head. Like Alice. Shall I sit here? I shall sit here.
She sits at the table. He joins her.
She touches the arms of her chair, touches the table, examines the table.
I like tables, don’t you? This is a rather beautiful table. Any chance of a dry sherry?
HORNBY Not yet. Soon we’ll have a party for you.
DEBORAH A party? For me? How nice. Lots of cakes and lots of booze?
HORNBY That’s right.
DEBORAH How nice.
Pause.
Well, it’s nice at this table. What’s the news? I suppose the war’s still over?
HORNBY It’s over, yes.
DEBORAH Oh good. They haven’t started another one?
HORNBY No.
DEBORAH Oh good.
Pause.
HORNBY You danced in narrow spaces?
DEBORAH Oh yes. The most crushing spaces. The most punishing spaces. That was tough going. Very difficult. Like dancing with someone dancing on your foot all the time, I mean all the time, on the same spot, just slam, slam, a big boot on your foot, not the most ideal kind of dancing, not by a long chalk. But sometimes the space opened and became light, sometimes it opened and I was so light, and when you feel so light you can dance till dawn and I danced till dawn night after night, night after night … for a time … I think … until …
She has become aware of the figure o/ PAULINE, standing in the room. She stares at her. PAULINE is a woman in her early forties.
PAULINE Deborah.
DEBORAH stares at her.
Deborah. It’s Pauline.
PAULINE turns to HORNBY.
She’s looking at me.
She turns back to DEBORAH.
You’re looking at me. Oh Deborah … you haven’t looked at me … for such a long time.
Pause.
I’m your sister. Do you know me?
DEBORAH laughs shortly and turns away. HORNBY stands and goes to PAULINE.
HORNBY I didn’t call you.
PAULINE regards him.
Well, all right. Speak to her.
PAULINE What shall I say?
HORNBY Just talk to her.
PAULINE Doesn’t it matter what I say?
HORNBY No.
PAULINE I can’t do her harm?
HORNBY No.
PAULINE Shall I tell her lies or the truth?
HORNBY Both.
Pause.
PAULINE You’re trembling.
HORNBY Am I?
PAULINE Your hand.
HORNBY Is it?
He looks at his hand.
Trembling? Is it? Yes.
PAULINE goes to DEBORAH, sits with her at the table.
PAULINE Debby. I’ve spoken to the family. Everyone was so happy. I spoke to them all, in turn. They’re away, you see. They’re on a world cruise. They deserve it. It’s been so hard for them. And Daddy’s not too well, although in many respects he’s as fit as a fiddle, and Mummy … It’s a wonderful trip. They passed through the Indian Ocean. And the Bay of Bosphorus. Can you imagine? Estelle also … needed a total break. It’s a wonderful trip. Quite honestly, it’s the trip of a lifetime. They’ve stopped off in Bangkok. That’s where I found them. I spoke to them all, in turn. And they all send so much love to you. Especially Mummy.
Pause.
I spoke by radio telephone. Shore to ship. The captain’s cabin. Such excitement.
Pause.
Tell me. Do you … remember me?
DEBORAH stands and walks to her bed, in slow motion.
Very slowly she gets into the bed.
She lies against the pillow, closes her eyes.
She opens her eyes, looks at PAULINE, beckons to her.
PAULINE goes to the bed.
DEBORAH Let me look into your eyes.
She looks deeply into PAULINE’s eyes.
So you say you’re my sister?
PAULINE I am.
DEBORAH Well, you’ve changed. A great deal. You’ve aged … substantially. What happened to you?
DEBORAH turns to HORNBY.
What happened to her? Was it a sudden shock? I know shocks can age people overnight. Someone told me.
She turns to PAULINE.
Is that what happened to you? Did a sudden shock age you overnight?
PAULINE No it was you –
PAULINE looks at HORNBY. He looks back at her, impassive, PAULINE turns back to DEBORAH.
It was you. You were standing with a vase of flowers in your hands. You were about to put it down on the table. But you didn’t put it down. You stood still, with the vase in your hands, as if you were … fixed. I was with you, in the room. I looked into your eyes.
Pause.
I said: ‘Debby?’
Pause.
But you remained … quite … still. I touched you. I said: ‘Debby?’ Your eyes were open. You were looking nowhere. Then you suddenly looked at me and saw me and smiled at me and put the vase down on the table.
Pause.
But at the end of dinner, we were all laughing and talking, and Daddy was making jokes and making us laugh, and you said you couldn’t see him properly because of the flowers in the middle of the table, where you had put them, and you stood and picked up the vase and you took it towards that little side table by the window, walnut, and Mummy was laughing and even Estelle was laughing and then we suddenly looked at you and you had stopped. You were standing with the vase by the side table, you were about to put it down, your arm was stretched
towards it but you had stopped.
Pause.
We went to you. We spoke to you. Mummy touched you. She spoke to you.
Pause.
Then Daddy tried to take the vase from you. He could not … wrench it from your hands. He could not … move you from the spot. Like … marble.
Pause.
You were sixteen.
DEBORAH turns to HORNBY.
DEBORAH She must be an aunt I never met. One of those distant cousins.
(To PAULINE.) Have you left me money in your will? Well, I could do with it.
PAULINE I’m Pauline.
DEBORAH Well, if you’re Pauline you’ve put on a remarkable amount of weight in a very short space of time. I can see you’re not keeping up with your ballet classes. My God! You’ve grown breasts!
DEBORAH stares at PAULINE’s breasts and suddenly looks down at herself.
PAULINE We’re women.
DEBORAH Women?
HORNBY You’re a grown woman, Deborah.
DEBORAH (to PAULINE) Is Estelle going to marry that ginger boy from Townley Street?
HORNBY Deborah. Listen. You’re not listening.
DEBORAH To what?
HORNBY To what your sister has been saying.
DEBORAH (to PAULINE) Are you my sister?
PAULINE Yes. Yes.
DEBORAH But where did you get those breasts?
PAULINE They came about.
DEBORAH looks down at herself.
DEBORAH I’m slimmer. Aren’t I?
PAULINE Yes.
DEBORAH Yes. I’m slimmer.
Pause.
I’m going to run into the sea and fall into the waves. I’m going to rummage about in all the water.
Pause.
Are we going out to dinner tonight?
Pause.
Where’s Jack? Tongue-tied as usual. He’s too shy for his own good, and Pauline’s so sharp she’ll cut herself. And Estelle’s such a flibbertigibbet. I think she should marry that ginger boy from Townley Street and settle down before it’s too late.
Pause.
PAULINE I am a widow.
DEBORAH This woman is mad.
HORNBY No. She’s not.
Pause.
She has been coming to see you regularly … for a long time. She has suffered for you. She has never forsaken you. Nor have I.
Pause.
I have been your doctor for many years. This is your sister. Your father is blind. Estelle looks after him. She never married. Your mother is dead.
Pause.
It was I who took the vase from your hands. I lifted you on to this bed, like a corpse. Some wanted to bury you. I forbade it. I have nourished you, watched over you, for all this time.
Pause.
I injected you and woke you up. You will ask why I did not inject you twenty-nine years ago. I’ll tell you. I did not possess the appropriate fluid.
Pause.
You see, you have been nowhere, absent, indifferent. It is we who have suffered.
Pause.
You do see that, I’m sure. You were an extremely intelligent young girl. All opinions confirm this. Your mind has not been damaged. It was merely suspended, it took up a temporary habitation … in a kind of Alaska. But it was not entirely static, was it? You ventured into quite remote … utterly foreign … territories. You kept on the move. And I charted your itinerary. Or did my best to do so. I have never let you go –
Silence.
I have never let you go.
Silence.
I have lived with you.
Pause.
Your sister Pauline was twelve when you were left for dead. When she was twenty I married her. She is a widow. I have lived with you.
Silence.
DEBORAH I want to go home.
Pause.
I’m cold.
She takes PAULINE’s hand.
Is it my birthday soon? Will I have a birthday party? Will everyone be there? Will they all come? All our friends? How old will I be?
PAULINE You will. You will have a birthday party. And everyone will be there. All your family will be there. All your old friends. And we’ll have presents for you. All wrapped up … wrapped up in such beautiful paper.
DEBORAH What presents?
PAULINE Ah, we’re not going to tell you. We’re not going to tell you that. Because they’re a secret.
Pause.
Think of it. Think of the thrill … of opening them, of unwrapping them, of taking out your presents and looking at them.
DEBORAH Can I keep them?
PAULINE Of course you can keep them. They’re your presents. They’re for you … only.
DEBORAH I might lose them.
PAULINE No, no. We’ll put them all around you in your bedroom. We’ll see that nobody else touches them. Nobody will touch them. And we’ll kiss you goodnight. And when you wake up in the morning your presents …
Pause.
DEBORAH I don’t want to lose them.
PAULINE They’ll never be lost. Ever.
Pause.
And we’ll sing to you. What will we sing?
DEBORAH What?
PAULINE We’ll sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you.
Pause.
DEBORAH Now what was I going to say?
She begins to flick her cheek, as if brushing something from it.
Now what –? Oh dear, oh no. Oh dear.
Pause.
Oh dear.
The flicking of her cheek grows faster.
Yes, I think they’re closing in. They’re closing in. They’re closing the walls in. Yes.
She bows her head, flicking faster, her fingers now moving about over her face.
Oh … well … oooohhhhh … oh no … oh no …
During the course of this speech her body becomes hunchbacked.
Let me out. Stop it. Let me out. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Shutting the walls on me. Shutting them down on me. So tight, so tight. Something panting, something panting. Can’t see. Oh, the light is going. The light is going. They’re shutting up shop. They’re closing my face. Chains and padlocks. Bolting me up. Stinking. The smell. Oh my goodness, oh dear, oh my goodness, oh dear, I’m so young. It’s a vice. I’m in a vice. It’s at the back of my neck. Ah. Eyes stuck. Only see the shadow of the tip of my nose. Shadow of the tip of my nose. Eyes stuck.
She stops flicking abruptly, sits still. Her body straightens. She looks up. She looks at her fingers, examines them.
Nothing.
Silence.
She speaks calmly, is quite still.
Do you hear a drip?
Pause.
I hear a drip. Someone’s left the tap on.
Pause.
I’ll tell you what it is. It’s a vast series of halls. With enormous interior windows masquerading as walls. The windows are mirrors, you see. And so glass reflects glass. For ever and ever.
Pause.
You can’t imagine how still it is. So silent I hear my eyes move.
Silence.
I’m lying in bed. People bend over me, speak to me. I want to say hullo, to have a chat, to make some inquiries. But you can’t do that if you’re in a vast hall of glass with a tap dripping.
Silence.
She looks at PAULINE.
I must be quite old. I wonder what I look like. But it’s of no consequence. I certainly have no intention of looking into a mirror.
Pause.
No.
She looks at HORNBY.
You say I have been asleep. You say I am now awake. You say I have not awoken from the dead. You say I was not dreaming then and am not dreaming now. You say I have always been alive and am alive now. You say I am a woman.
She looks at PAULINE, then back at HORNBY.
She is a widow. She doesn’t go to her ballet classes any more. Mummy and Daddy and Estelle are on a world cruise. They’ve stopped off in Bangkok. It’ll be my birthday soon. I think I have the matter in proportion.
Pause.
Thank you.
VICTORIA STATION
Victoria Station first published by
Methuen London Ltd 1982
© Fraser52 Limited, 1982
Victoria Station was presented as part of the triple bill Other Places, first performed at the National Theatre, London, on 14 October 1982 with the following cast:
CONTROLLER Paul Rogers
DRIVER Martin Jarvis
Directed by Peter Hall
It was subsequently presented with A Kind of Alaska and One for the Road at the Duchess Theatre, London, on 7 March 1985 with the following cast:
CONTROLLER Colin Blakely
DRIVER Roger Davidson
Directed by Kenneth Ives
Characters
CONTROLLER
DRIVER
Lights up on office, CONTROLLER sitting at microphone.
CONTROLLER 274? Where are you?
Lights up on DRIVER in car.
CONTROLLER 274? Where are you? Pause.
DRIVER Hullo?
CONTROLLER 274?
DRIVER Hullo?
CONTROLLER Is that 274?
DRIVER That’s me.