My Life in the End

by Adriana Alexa

  But Laura ...

  She disappeared and part of me always hoped she had turned a resident of traumatized and insane street or had succumbed to depression and killed herself. She never reappeared and it worked well for me.

  My new problem was the young Gregory Baxter and his crusade. If he decides to find her, I would dig deep after information and I needed to make sure he would find what I wanted: nothing.

  ***********

  I had gotten used to sleep little, even with medication. But the last few nights were being ridiculous. I stayed up good in the morning, lying in bed ... thinking ...

  Thinking of her scent. In the heat of your body if you were on my side. In your smile. So many details of his features that I could never forget. The curves of your body against the sheets. His hot breath in my mouth. His stubbornness that I had learned to find adorable. All mannerisms of his personality that I knew so well.

  He knew.

  How she would have changed in recent years?

  She was unemployed, unable to give reference job for two years of his life. And if he had not gotten another decent work? As you would be living? What will she think of me? What had he said to our son?

  I thought about how it should be his face. If ever would have crossed with him somewhere ... I even paid attention to children. And if one of them were mine? And more than mine: my and Laura.

  There was a small human being in the world that was a union of us. I had something delicate that thought that made every hair on my body tingle. I needed to find them and need not take too long.

  Derek did not help. When I left home and decided to move to my coverage, I figured he would need a friend. But he seemed more impressed with the whole situation than me. And I kept remembering elements that did not help.

  She got pregnant ... women change much after pregnancy, Greg. The body, the face ... it should not be that beautiful woman you met. And the difficulties of life, overwork, disappointments ... that destroys a person. Are you prepared to meet her again and take the blame for all this?

  As physical attributes would prevent me from going to hell behind her.

  I knew what he was doing: he was worried that I was looking for Laura with intentions to turn my life into a fairy tale and ended up finding a spiteful woman and full of regrets ready to unload all his troubles on my back.

  What Derek did not understand is that for me, all right. Only the image of Laura spiteful and full of regrets somewhere, alone, was enough to stop me. If only I could do to help her would get the blame, I would welcome.

  My biggest fear was that something had happened to the baby. It was that something had happened to her. Other than that, I would support anything.

  What if she's married? If your son grew up calling another parent's face?

  I was sure that the most important thing for me was that they were well. But those scenarios that Derek had were not exactly kind to my heart.

  Finally, I gave up talking to him and decided to hide. Among my activities in long working hours and my staring at the empty, all I did was wait. Expect a call from private investigator who never came. For days on end. Almost a week has passed and I was at my limit when the bell finally rang and Joe Ox came through the door.

  I was not breathing.

  - You found them? - I shook his hand still on the door. I saw the folder in his hand and my heart was beating so loudly that I suspected that even he could hear. I stepped to the side and let it go.

  - It was not easy.

  - I paid more as you need.

  - What you paid was enough. But you got lucky, Baxter. If he had contracted any other investigator, I would never have found them.

  - Because you're the best, I know. - My eyes not desgrudavam folder in his hand.

  - It's not because of it. Well ... It's not just because of that. Coincidentally, who hid them was one of my girls.

  I looked away from the folder to watch him.

  - Who hid them?

  - Yeah ... She must have friends with money, because my girls are not cheap and this particularly is one of the most expensive. One of the best too. I could only find them because my girl told me where they were. After I promised her that you would not hurt them. I think she was enchanted by her family which is something special. She did not enchants with ease.

  - Where are they? They are well?

  - My girl made me promise you not hurt. Tell me, Baxter, I lied to my girl?

  He held the folder in a suggestive way and I learned to take or not to depend folder of my answer. What was not in any way a problem.

  - Never. - I gasped.

  - They are well. - He shook his head - she was working in an administrative position in Paris.

  - Paris. - Repeated. I have found you, Dom. - And the baby? - I barely uttered the word. I could not look in the eyes Ox. It was not exactly the shame I felt. Vexation. As if at any minute he would disappear taking with him all the answers I needed so much.

  - It is no longer a baby. Is seven years.

  My whole heart ached. I knew he would have grown, of course. But there was something intense in confirming that made it very real.

  - And it's ... - there shit ... it should not be so. It should not be that way. - It's a girl? Or ... - I could not take my eyes from the ground. A doctor should tell me, as I held the hand of Don.

  - It's a boy.

  I hid her eyes in her hand and felt I was going to cry.

  I had a son.

  A child with the woman I loved.

  That's what Derek could not understand: love Laura was easy. It was the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. And not love her was the most difficult of tasks. Hate it required all the strength I had and annihilated me.

  - And ... - I took a deep breath. Did not want to start crying in front of the Ox - What ... you name it ... What's his name?

  - Tyler.

  I was laughing.

  Tyler.

  Oh, Don ... I love you so much.

  Something that name brought power. A powerful force. She had not forgotten me and could not hate me. That name was a piece of me in the life of our son and she must have done it on purpose.

  - Tyler. - I laughed. The name had a sweet taste in my mouth. - And he's right? It's healthy?

  - IT IS. It's all here. - Shook the folder in the air - has photos of him if you want. - He opened the file and leafed through a few pages.

  It seemed wrong, right?

  - Here it is. - He offered me the open file, but I refused with a gesture.

  I did not want to see my son for the first time through a photo. I had already lost so much. He had lost everything. At least the thrill of seeing my son for the first time with my own eyes I could keep trying.

  - They are in Paris? Now? - I looked at the clock calculating the time zone. If the jet still in maintenance, I'd take the first flight he could find.

  - No. - He chuckled - You will not believe.

  - Where are they?

  - Here in the city.

  I gave an involuntary step back.

  - Are here? In the city?

  - Yes ... in a hotel fifteen minutes from here. Not counting the traffic, of course.

  Ox handed me a card with the hotel address and room number she was staying.

  It was late afternoon, and even though the traffic was horrible, I would not take more than half an hour to get there.

  So many years.

  And I would see Dom in half an hour.

  I would know my son in half an hour.

  ***********

  - Hello? Ms. Baxter? It's me. About that information that you wanted ... She's in town. Your grandson is at the door that she's staying ... I think he already knows. And one more thing ... She's not alone.

  ***********

  The hotel's entrance hall was large and well-lit. The lounge area in front of the main counter had some comfortable armchairs and a dark piano. The receptionist informed me that there was no one in the room.

  She
left ... But going back.

  I expect the as needed. And what else could I do?

  I sat in one of the chairs near the piano and kept my eyes on the door. Behind me, the three panoramic elevators took guests to one of the eight floors of rooms with balconies facing the inner side. There was a bar on the other side and an elaborate game aquariums between access to the bar and lifts, forming a dividing wall half height. I did not take me watching me whatever it was. The two most important people on the planet would pass through those doors at any time and I would not lose sight of them.

  Never again in my life.

  I was sitting in the chair, listening to the pianist playing some generic melody and drumming his fingers on the padded arms when it occurred to me that days had passed in my desperation to find Laura and in no time, I had thought of that would tell you. I thought the obvious part, of course: Eleanor lied to me, I did not know, did not say those horrible things, I'm sorry ...

  But what if she did not hear me?

  And if simply turned his back and walked away?

  What I would do?

  And the time had come to find out.

  It looked like someone had pressed a button on the remote control and the whole world was in slow motion. I knew it was her before even seeing his face.

  He was wearing a light cloth coat and a thin, heavy fabric dress that clung to her curves, modest neckline skirt that covered her long legs to the feet. Her straight black hair long loose curls fell almost to her waist. The dark glasses was stuck on the head and she had a wonderful smile.

  How could I have forgotten how beautiful she is?

  I had the photos. I thought he had every centimeter of his body decorated in my mind.

  Ledo mistake.

  She was certainly twenty times more beautiful than I remembered. My body sank into the chair and my heart beat hard. I loved this woman beyond salvation. Lot and desperately. I had a smile on my lips I do not know exactly when it appeared. I wanted to get closer. I wanted to touch her. Smell it. Hear your voice.

  I squeezed the arms of the chair under my fingers taking courage to get up and have gotten my brain had not finally awakened from his stupor and observed the child Laura hath bound her hand.

  He was thin and smiling. The blond hair was very creepy and every trace of his face was ...

  Wow...

  I had seen my pictures when I was little and could tell that the boy Laura brought to his side looked more to me than myself. He smiled at his mother when she stroked his hair and I got up. They passed the bar access, near the aquarium. I would have reached the elevator, if the boy had not dropped a doll on the floor. He let go of her mother's hand for a moment and turned running to retrieve it. She watched her rescue operation still with a smile on his face. His eyes were up only for a split second and the smile faded. She turned to me again as if to put me in focus and be convinced that I was real.

  I wanted to smile. I meant something.

  But Dom was serious as hell, the locked jaw and the muscles contracted as if he expected me to attack at any moment.

  - Ty. - She called and her soft voice broke into my body as if freeing me from a long period of horrible withdrawal - Ty. - He repeated and took his eyes off me.

  He approached her and put a protective arm over his shoulder. I took two steps toward her and Dom bent over our son.

  - Ty, go up there to take a look at those tanks for me?

  - You will not go up?

  - Go. In an instant. I need you to go up there look at those aquariums.

  - Mother? Because?

  - Just listen to me, baby. Go there. OK?

  He looked annoyed, but followed the mother's education and took four or five steps to the small dead end formed entirely of glass boxes filled with water and colorful fish. Don made sure that he was right behind her and would have no way out without her noticing before turning to me.

  My ill rehearsed speech began with an "excuse me" I could not say why so that was close enough so we could talk in a lower voice, Laura spoke first.

  - He does not know. All right? I did not tell him about his father. He's just a kid, Holt!

  She would scream and hit me with words: I expected that part. But see Don there in front of me. My sun ... protecting our son and calling me Holt. I started to smile, despite the gravity of the situation and felt that would not stop.

  - Why are you laughing? - His eyes narrowed.

  - Um ... - I just spoke the first words that came to mind - You called me Holt.

  - Oh ... sorry. Baxter. - I opened my mouth and wanted to tell you that was not it. But she was still talking - He's just a kid and do not need to know that the father did not want, right?

  - Sun!

  - I'll explain to him the whole story when he's older. But now he's just a kid and do not need this. The decision is mine. Just ... let's just pretend we never met and I'm leaving.

  She turned to call him and I held her hand.

  - Sun, wait!

  It was just a touch. It was so fleeting. So light.

  And I was not able to breathe. My fingers tingled where they had touched hers.

  - I did not know.

  - Holt ... Baxter! - Gave a very short slap his forehead - I need to go. Let's just pretend ...

  - I did not know, Don Eleanor lied..

  - I can not do that now. - She was escaping again and I held his hand again. My touch was gentle and she could have departed from me and run away whenever he wanted, but she was. He stuck to the fingers with mine as if the victim of the same hypnosis that affected me.

  - She said you had miscarried. - Whispered - I told you miscarried and who accepted money to leave.

  - What? - She shook her head slowly and turned to Tyler. Our contact was calling his attention and he watched the fish less and less.

  - Eleanor lied. When I talked to you ... when you called. I did not know, Don.

  - Want to convince me that crossed me by accident in a hotel and just discovered?

  -. There I learned a few days ago. Andy and Rick told me.

  - Andy and ...?

  - Our neighbors.

  - I know who they are, Holt! - Growled softly and his way clogged me want to smile again. I felt so missed this woman that was impossible to describe - I know what they told you.

  - Thierry knew, was not it?

  - I talked to him before he left. - She crossed her arms under her breasts. His lips were still stiff and pressed against each other, but she seemed willing to listen.

  - He ... - ai crap ... I'd have to tell her he died. I scratched his head nervously.

  - He died. - Sighed - told to Rick before he died, did not you?

  I looked into his eyes and made an affirmative nod.

  - And then the virgin gossip ran tell. - The words were offensive, but had a nostalgic smile on his face and I thought it was okay.

  - I just found out, Don was looking for you ... -. I swallowed the dry - I was looking for you ever since.

  She looked at me as if I were measuring and judging.

  - Eleanor tell you that I accepted money to leave you and you believed? - Loathed in his words and I felt filthy.

  - What did you want me to think?

  - Did you think I'm not a ruthless bitch once in your life. - He complained.

  - I'm so sorry. Really. Dom, how could I ...

  - So it is true?

  The woman's voice behind me spoke too loudly and, no doubt, drew attention of the people around us.

  - Laura Thoen. - Elizabeth laughed sarcastically - Finished money Eleanor paid you to go away and come extort my husband?

  - Good evening to you too, Elizabeth. - She bit her lower lip.

  - Look, I have to admire his courage. And his poker face, of course.

  - Elizabeth. - I turned to it - We were talking.

  - Eleanor said you would come running after the bitch so feel her scent in the city.

  - Shut up. - warned.

  - Mother? - The screams were
too much for the little Tyler and he approached, hugging the hip Dom, scared.

  - It's okay, my love. - She held his face in his hands and kissed her cheek.

  - Oh, I need to see it up close. - Elizabeth walked toward Tyler and Laura stepped between the two with the most dangerous expression I had ever seen on his face.

  - Do not touch my child, Elizabeth. And do not make me repeat.

  - You brought the little bastard! How cute. - He laughed.

  - Shut up now. - I pulled her arm.

  - Mother? - Called Tyler left tearful and Laura raised him on her lap.

  - I just want to know if this is the plan of the bitch.

  - Can you get out of it?

  - I'm not going! You do not own me.

  Tyler had his arms around the sun in the neck and she looked at me ...

  In your eyes ... I was there. A glow of pain and fear. She was protecting our son. Cornered between me and my uncontrolled ex-wife and a lot of aquariums. Our son scared in her lap, having to listen to a screaming mad unknown offenses. Elizabeth held her by the arms and pulled her to the side. Dom took only one of my eyes and moved through space I opened for her, stepping forward to the elevators.

  Too fast Elizabeth pulled away from my hands and was moving to new Laura. If she touched my son, I ...

  I hurried to try to hold it.

  - Some problem?

  The man who stood between Don and Elizabeth was tall, with a strong gait, clear eyes and dark hair. His tone was firm and made Elizabeth stop immediately.

  - Gary! - Tyler looked relieved.

  - We're just talking. - Liz smiled when I held - If you'll excuse me, I ...

  - Sun? - The newcomer turned to Laura and I almost choked. - It's all right here? - Dom offered him a half smile born of nervousness.

  - It is. We were going up.

  - Are you sure? - He looked around and put his hand on her shoulder in a way that made me want to rip your arm off.

  I had not realized, but Elizabeth put her arm around my waist.

  - Oh, it was just a mistake. - She laughed satisfied - mistook the girl with someone else. My husband and I are going. Sorry for the mistake.