A Staten Island Love Letter 2

by Jahquel J

  “Our.” It was all that I could manage to say. Who else’s baby would it be? Me and Justice hadn’t fucked yet because I didn’t want to rush shit with her. I wanted to penetrate her mind before I tossed those thick ass thighs over my shoulders and showed her why women screamed Priest, because a nigga was definitely blessed down below.

  “Me and Todd are having a baby. I really don’t want you to hate me,” she started to sob. Her heart monitor started to beep, and a nurse rushed in.

  “Why are you crying, beautiful? Calm down, you’re raising your pressure and heart function. What did you do to her?” the nurse snickered.

  “It’s probably the hormones, you know since she’s pregnant,” I shook my head.

  “You heard about her baby? Everyone is calling her the mom of the miracle baby. She’s not too far along, but that baby held on,” she smiled as she silenced the machine. “I’ll leave it silenced for now, but will turn it on before my shift is over.”

  “Thank you,” Justice sniffled, and the nurse left the room.

  “People get pregnant every day and co-parent. You don’t need to be with this nigga in order to raise that baby.”

  “That baby needs me and its father, Priest. Todd said he’s going to change and wants to make it work with the both of us.”

  I stood up and paced before I leaned against the white board with all the doctor and nurse’s information on it. “He saying that shit now? Why? Cause the nigga is missing a limb? You think he would be making those promises if he didn’t lose his leg?”

  “I need to be there for him. What will I tell my child? That I left their father high and dry? And that I didn’t bother to try?”

  I zipped my coat up and walked over to kiss her on the forehead. “On the real, it’s your life. I don’t know why I’m so invested. Justice do what’s best for you and your family,” I replied and headed toward the door.

  She continued to sob. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Then why he fuck you keep trying to leave me, Justice? I couldn’t save Sandy, but I can fucking save you. Leave this nigga alone,” my voice cracked. I cared for this woman and she was choosing a man who didn’t give a damn about her, over her own life. Shit was sad.

  “I don’t want to lose you, Priest… please.”

  “Nah, I’m around when the woman I started to fall for comes back… do me a favor?” I asked.

  She nodded her head with a soaking face filled with tears. “Anything.”

  “Take care of yourself. My heart can’t take a call from your sisters letting me know that he finally did it.”

  “Did what?”

  “Killed you,” I replied and then left out the door.

  As much as it hurt to walk out that hospital room, I knew that I had to do it. Todd had Justice too far gone. She felt like she was letting him down by not trying to fight for her family. She should have been less concerned about fighting for their relationship and more concerned with being alive for her child. As much as she put on to like me, her heart and soul was with Todd and it would always be. He had her mind so fucked up that it would take Justice to break that spell. As much as I wanted to yell, scream and force her to leave that nigga alone, I knew that would end up pushing her further away from me. I had to bite the bullet and let her make decisions for herself. Justice was a grown woman and I had to let her do what she felt was right.

  5

  Ghost

  I knew when that nigga Zeek came up to the hospital screaming about Summer being his that there had to be some truth to it. If my mama didn’t stop me I would have splattered that nigga’s brains all over the fucking floor. I gave up the reckless lifestyle where I did shit without thinking it through. In that moment, I wasn’t thinking about my kids, family or the fact that I would be tossed into jail for the rest of my life. All I was thinking about was how satisfied I would be knowing I had rid the world of that stupid ass nigga. When I questioned Shakira on if she fucked around with Zeek, she had all these excuses. Something wasn’t sitting right with me and I knew I couldn’t just sweep that shit under the rug. Niggas were out here running away from responsibilities. Here you had a nigga willing to go to war behind seeing a little girl. When I asked the doctor to perform the DNA test, I was upset and needed to know the answers. As I held the envelope in my hands, I was shaking. There wasn’t much that I feared, but the white papers with black ink inside this envelope scared the shit out of me.

  Shakira didn’t know anything and thought shit was sweet. She still walked around acting like that night never happened. Summer had been in the hospital and unresponsive for three weeks. Three weeks had passed since someone tried to take my baby’s life and I was no closer to finding out who was responsible. Staten was released from the hospital. Chanel was staying with him and taking care of him. He may have been released, but my brother was still fucked up. While he thought he could get back to business, his body proved otherwise. He couldn’t even go to the bathroom without the help of Chanel. Shit was all fucked up and here I was sitting in my study with the result to my life in an envelope.

  I cut her chord when she was born, kissed her bloody knees and always made sure that there weren’t any monsters in the closet before bedtime. Soon as she was born, she had this grin on her face as I looked down at her eyes slathered with Vaseline. When Shakira was pregnant, I spoke to her stomach all the time. Me and Rain would take turns introducing ourselves to her while she was still in Shakira’s stomach. Rain and Summer had a friendship before she was pushed out into this world. I ripped opened the envelope and took a deep breath before I removed the note from the doctor and looked over the results.

  “Babe, we need to get back to the hospital. I like to be there when they change her tubes,” the sound of Shakira’s heels entered the room before she did. When she made it into the room, she looked at me. “G, you okay?”

  “Nah, come sit on my lap,” I turned the papers over and offered a weak smile. “Just need to feel you next to me.”

  “Awe, I know things have been tough. We’re going to make it work,” she came and sat on my lip. Placing a kiss on my lips she stared me in the eyes. “What’s going on with yo—”

  Her words were caught in her throat as I my hand wrapped around her neck and I squeezed until I couldn’t anymore. “Bitch, I gave you everything I had even when you didn’t deserve shit. All I wanted was my kids. All I fucking asked for was kids.”

  “Gh…I… ca… brea..,” she choked out and I didn’t give a shit. If I snapped her neck right here and now, I wouldn’t have gave a shit. What did Shakira offer to this world? All she did was take from the world because she felt it owed her everything.

  “Ghost!” Marisol screamed and rushed over to me and tried her best to pull me off of her. “There’s cops at the front door… let go!” she squeezed, and I finally let Shakira go. She dropped to the floor like a wet fish.

  I stared into the mirror before I went to the front door. As I walked out the study, I heard Marisol helping Shakira while she choked. If Marisol hadn’t been here or these cops hadn’t showed up, Shakira would have been done for. Opening the front door, I stood there and stared at them.

  “How are you, Mr. Davis? I’m detective Mally and this is detective Shores,” I still stood there and stared at the both of them. It was to the point that the black officer started fucking with his tie because he was so uncomfortable. I had a few detectives and cops in my pocket and told them to end the investigation. One visit to the hospital when it first happened and that was it. Who the fuck was these niggas showing up to my crib? “Well, uh. We’re sorry about your daughter. We were wondering if you had some time to talk to us about the incident.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Well… this would be very important for the case that we’re investigating. Just a few minutes of your time, I promise.” Mally smiled as he stared me in the eyes.

  “Ight,” I welcomed them into the house and pointed to the sitting room to the left of the foyer. “Can I g
et ya’ll anything to drink?”

  “We’re fine,” Mally answered for the both of them. I walked over to the bar and fixed me a drink.

  I held up my glass of rum and gulped it down. “Detectives, do you know why I hate going to restaurants?” I randomly asked as they sat on the couch.

  “Sir, what doe—”

  “I hate them because you never really know if your shit is cleaned before you use it.”

  “Well, you can if you just look at it. I inspect everything down to my glasses before I eat,” Office Shores took the bait I had tossed out.

  Walking over to the fireplace, I smiled at a picture of the girls at Disney World. “You see, you don’t. They can give you a glass and you think it’s a clean glass, so you allow them to fill it up with the finest wine they have to offer. Upon drinking, you start to see smudges and stains.”

  “I would immediately send it back.”

  “Ah, you’re missing the point. Even the glasses that appear to be clean are dirty,” I winked. “I would love to continue to chat, but I need to be back with my daughter.” Mally seemed to be thinking really hard on what I had been saying.

  They were trying to keep their noses clean and do their jobs. I mean after all, they took an oath to protect and serve this country. Still, there was never an amount of money worth your life, yet NYPD thought so. Not only did they think so, they also never made moves to pay these officers what they were owed. It was only a matter of time before these two decided to become those wine glasses I was referring to. Clean on the outside, but when you get a closer look, they were dirty.

  Shores shook my hand while Mally stepped out of the house. “Thank you for your time. If you need anything, here’s my card with my personal number on it,” he smiled. Hook, line and fisher. This lifestyle was alluring to Shores. He wanted more than what his job as a NYPD detective could give him. With his job, he could never own a home like this or cars like the ones that were parked in my driveway. The cops I had on payroll had families and were trying to survive living in New York City. Just because it was Staten Island didn’t mean it was less expensive than anywhere else in the city. I accepted his card, wished them well and closed the door. Marisol was the first to appear when I turned from the front door.

  “You could have nearly killed her. I dislike her, but I wouldn’t want her to die,” Marisol called herself trying to tell me about myself.

  “You’re the fucking help. I pay you to take care of my kids and keep my crib together. Whatever business me and Shakira has is ours!” I barked and she jumped back.

  “Who are you?” she questioned.

  “The nigga that signs your checks every month. Leave me to handle Shakira,” I told her and walked back into my study where Shakira was leaned against my book shelf with water. Her neck was bright red, and she appeared to be out of it.

  “I fucked around with you when people advised me to leave you alone. You know what niggas said? They told me they smashed you already and you’re in it for the bread. My dumb ass was so fucking hurt behind Free that I believed all that shit you spit in my ear. Telling me how you wanted to make me happy, have my babies and be there for me. A nigga ate all that shit up because the woman I loved walked out on me. Shakira, I ain’t never asked you for shit besides kids in the past ten years. Anything you want, I busted my ass so you could have it. Even shit you didn’t need, I made sure to get that too. A nigga risked his life to make sure you had nothing except the best. And this is how you do me? You fuck another nigga and have his baby?”

  Marisol had stopped me, but deep down I knew I couldn’t kill her. Summer and Rain didn’t know it, but they had saved their mama’s life today. I wanted to grab the gun from my safe and empty the clip into her head.

  “It was an accident,” she cried.

  “Spilling the fucking milk is an accident. A nigga sticking his dick in pussy that belonged to me isn’t a fucking accident. You hate Marisol so much, but don’t know that woman saved your life today. Grab your shit… matter fact, get the fuck out the crib. This ain’t your fucking home anymore,” I told her and walked out of the study. Marisol had my duffle bag packed and waiting when I got to the front door.

  “G, this wasn’t my business and I should have never got involved.”

  “Mariso—”

  “Hear me out. I should have never gotten involved, but I know you and I know how much you love the girls. Having to stare into their eyes everyday knowing you killed their mother would tear you apart. She doesn’t deserved to be saved, but you deserved to be saved from that horrible fate that you would have to face with your daughters,” she hugged me and went down the hallway.

  She was right. I could never stare my babies in their eyes knowing that I took their mother away from them. Shakira wasn’t shit as a mother, yet those girls loved the shit out of her. She was their world and having a life without their mother in it would be far too painful. Yeah, I’m sure as they got older it would sting a little less, but that’s when you needed your mother most. Free had broken my heart many years ago. I never thought Shakira could ever break my heart.

  I had love for her, but the love wasn’t like the one I felt for Freedom. Shakira had managed to find a way to break my heart. She knew my kids were my world and she hid this shit from me. If that wasn’t worst part, she had been fucking with that nigga Zeek behind my back. I heard the snickers about Shakira being a whore. I was so wrapped up into myself to feed into those rumors, well what I thought were rumors. Shakira had never given me a reason to question her. So, why would I take the word over strangers in the street? I wasn’t paying those people no mind or allowing their energy to come into my home. Maybe I should have because I wouldn’t be out here looking like a fucking fool when it was all said and done.

  Pat pulled my whip up and I jumped into the front seat. It had been so long since me and Pat had crossed paths. He moved his family down to Miami. After him and his wife divorced, he moved back so he could be closer to his daughters that attended NYU. When he told me he was looking for work because his daughter’s tuition was no joke, I wasted no time putting him in the position to win. Hearing what went down with Staten and Summer, he refused to leave my side. That was loyal. It didn’t matter how long we had been apart, he was still down to ride for me and I appreciated that shit to the fullest. Living this life you never knew who you could trust. Knowing that I had a full team of solid niggas helped me sleep a little better at night.

  “Everything good in there?” I had forgot Pat was in the house when shit went down. He knew the code and Marisol somehow missed it. If it wasn’t your business, you didn’t get involved.

  “Summer’s not my biological daughter,” I revealed.

  The shit hurt to even say that shit out loud. My mother would always question things about Summer, and I took it as her hate for Shakira. I thought she was trying to plant seeds so that I could leave Shakira alone. When my baby girl came out, I never questioned if she was mine.

  “Damn man. You alright?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. Anytime something knocked me down I could shake it off and get back to business. This shit was hitting me like a ton of brick and for the first time I didn’t know if I was alright or if I wasn’t going to be alright.

  “Doesn’t matter what DNA says. You’re still that girl’s father. Ya’ll bond is something out of this world. Shakira fucked up, but don’t let that fuck you up in the process. You know what you need to do and that’s be there for your daughter when she opens her eyes.”

  “Yeah. Can you swing me by Staten’s crib?”

  He nodded his head, started the car and pulled out of the gates. I leaned my head back with my eyes closed while I tried not to allow my thoughts to consume me.

  Everything moved in slow motion as I rushed from the nurse’s station to the surgical wing. Everything was silent and I was getting by reading lips. I had got the call as I was leaving Staten’s crib. Shakira called me and I ignored her call figuring she was trying to fi
x everything she had broken between us. When she called Pat I knew something was up. Summer had gone into cardiac arrest. We had already known that the blood infection was causing her heart to pump irregular. The doctors assured us the antibiotics were going to work and they hadn’t. Each time they checked her blood, that virus was still there. When I got to seating area, my mother was sitting with Mirror and Freedom. Shakira was sitting on the other side of the room with her parents. When my mother laid eyes on me, she jumped up and hugged me with tears streaming down her face.

  “Wh…what they say?”

  “We’re waiting for her to come out of surgery now, baby,” she pulled me over to the empty chair Freedom had got up from.

  Shakira was sobbing so loudly that I could barely hear what my mother was saying. Despite what the DNA test said, we were her parents and had raised her. Right now, we couldn’t have been so far from each other; figuratively and physically. We should have been holding each other and trying to keep our minds off the negative. Freedom sat across from me and stared me in the eyes with tears coming down her face.

  “I love you, Gyson,” she said as she continued to stare at me.

  My mother laid her head on my shoulders and said a quiet prayer. I needed God to take a blind eye to all the evil I had done, and make sure my daughter had a fighting chance. It was true what they said; Karma skipped you and often went straight to your kids. That same chest pain I had been feeling was on a thousand. I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I tried to remain calm. Everyone was in tears around me and I was trying hard to remain strong for them. Nah, I had to remain strong for them. When my baby girl came home, I had to be her superman. She needed me.

  The clock struck eight-thirty which officially made it two hours since I had arrived. My mother was cuddled up on the two-seat chair getting some sleep while Mirror was sitting in the window trying to get a signal to call Staten to update him on everything. Freedom was sitting beside me while holding my hand. Although she was on my shit list, it felt nice having her here with me. I pulled my phone out my pocket, then dropped it onto Free’s lap when the wooden automatic door opened. When the doctor came out, she tossed the mask on her face onto the floor. I jumped up and met her halfway as she shook her head. The emotion was on her face and still I didn’t believe it.