A Staten Island Love Letter 2

by Jahquel J

  “Nah, nah, nah, don’t tell me that…. Doc, please don’t tell me that,” I fell to my knees and begged this woman. I had never begged for anything my entire life and here I was begging this doctor to tell me what she had signaled wasn’t true.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Davis. We tried everything to save Summer, but she didn’t make it. Her heart was far too weak,” she continued to rip my heart out of my chest.

  “NOT MY FUCKING DAUGHTER, MAN! NOT HER, PLEASE! WHAT I GOTTA GIVE? DO I GOTTA GIVE MY HEART? I’LL DO IT, DOC. COME ON LET’S GO TO THE BACK AND GET MY BABY!” I yelled as Shakira broke down behind me.

  “Not my baby. Please tell me that my baby isn’t dead. Please Goddddd!” she screamed as her parents grabbed her.

  “Gyson, come on,” Free tried and I shook her off of me.

  “We’re prepping her body so you both can say your final goodbyes. This isn’t easy for me. We tried everything we could. My condolences to you both.” The doctor sniffled as she turned around to walk out the waiting area.

  “Not my grandbaby! Rain needs her…. Rain needs her baby sister,” my mother howled as Mirror held her the best she could. Everyone was breaking down around me and I couldn’t help them because I was stuck.

  “Gyson,” Free reminded me that she was there.

  “Free, right now isn’t the time. I need to go get my baby. I gotta make sure that she’s warm. She gets cold at night, I need to get her favorite blanket,” I got up and walked out the wing. “I gotta find her asthma pumps too… she needs those. I’ll stop by McDonald’s on the way home too,” I mumbled as I walked the halls.

  “Gyson!” Free yelled.

  I turned around and faced her. “She’s gone, baby. Your baby girl is gone. She’s not coming home, baby,” she walked over to me with tears pouring from her eyes.

  6

  Freedom

  “Free, my baby is fucking gone! Somebody took my fucking baby from me!” Ghost had broken down in the hall. I had never seen him cry the way that he was crying.

  It was as if he was having a mental breakdown and wasn’t making any sense. He was trying to take care of Summer, but she was dead. I understood what he was going through because I went through it with my dad. For two months I would still buy his newspaper, make sure we stayed stock with his protein powder and do things as if he was going to walk through that door, hang up his hat and kiss my mama on the lips. It broke my heart to see Gyson going through this. He fell to his knees and I fell to mine and held him tightly. I held him as tight as I could as he sobbed. I had never seen a grown man cry the way he was crying. Gyson was this person who didn’t show emotions. He handled his shit privately. Today, all of that went out the window as he cried hard.

  “I’m so sorry. There’s nothing that I could say that could change how you feel. Just know, I know how you feel and I’m gonna be here for you no matter what.”

  He didn’t reply. We were on our knees in the middle of the hospital’s hallway. I wasn’t going to move or encourage him to move until he was ready. Grief was something that I had known far too much. The feeling of losing someone was never easy. It was the hardest thing for anyone to go through. All you wanted was for time to go back and for the person you lost to be there. It was something that I could never wish on my worst enemy. Death made the toughest show emotion. My heart hurt for both Shakira and Ghost. I was so sorry for them. Losing a child was something that no one ever wanted to do. That wasn’t right. You should have never had to bury your child before you. When we were in Jamaica, I had the pleasure to spend time with both Rain and Summer. They were both so sweet, well-mannered and beautiful little girls. You could tell that Ghost instilled that respect into them. Their father had money out the ass, but they didn’t act like little brats. Each time they asked for something they said please or thank you.

  I heard sniffling around me and briefly let go of Ghost to turn around. Shakira stood there. Her entire face was red, and she had tears falling from her eyes. “They said we can see her. She’s ready,” she relayed the message.

  “Come on, let’s go and see your baby girl. It’s time to say goodbye,” I tried my best to pull Ghost up off the floor. He pulled himself up off the floor and grabbed my hand tightly.

  “I don’t want her going back there with us,” Shakira made sure to mention. Ghost ignored her and pulled me behind him to the double doors. “You heard me. Gyson,” her voice shook.

  He turned around and looked at her. “Yeah, I heard you. You heard what I said too. Come or don’t, she’s coming with me,” he told her and then walked through the double doors.

  Out of courtesy, the doctor had allowed them to move Summer’s body back to her original room so that the family could have time with her. When we got down to the bottom floor, we made our way to the room where the doctor was standing.

  “No one will interrupt you. Take as much time as you need,” she gently patted Ghost on the shoulder before she went to embrace Shakira.

  “I’ll stay out here,” I told him. This wasn’t a place for me to be. I would always be here for him, but I shouldn’t have been in there with him.

  He nodded and walked into the room. Shakira walked in behind him and the door closed behind them. Me and her parents went to sit at the visitor’s room down the hall. It was a room with chairs, television and vending machines. Another doctor was in the corner with another family giving them news about their child. From the look on their faces I could tell the news wasn’t anything good. I sat down in the corner and pulled my phone out. Looking out the window, the street lights lit up the blocks of houses that surrounded the hospital. I dialed Liberty and waited for her to answer.

  “Hey sis, what’s up?” she groggily answered. I knew she had probably just gotten off from work.

  “She died, Lib,” I sniffled. “Summer passed away during surgery,” I explained to her. It was so crazy that those words were even leaving my mouth.

  “My God. Babies aren’t supposed to die, I hate this for them,” she sighed. “How is he taking it?”

  “Liberty, I have never seen him like this in my entire life. This wasn’t the Ghost that I know. It truly breaks my heart to see him like that,” I sniffled.

  “His daughter died. I think if he wasn’t bothered I would be worried. This is going to change him, Freedom,” she told me.

  I knew Ghost would never be the same after this. He would forever be changed by the fact that his daughter had been shot and later died. I prayed that he didn’t blame himself for her death. He couldn’t have possibly known that this would happen to her. I knew it was killing him that he hadn’t found out who had killed his daughter or shot at Staten. My mind immediately went to Rain. The two of them seemed like they were so close. You would have assumed they were twins because they were so close in age to each other. That little girl was going to be broken knowing that her baby sister would never come home with her. My heart continued to hurt more and more.

  “How’s Shakira?”

  “Hurt. She’s not my favorite person, but I can tell she’s so hurt behind this.”

  “I wonder if she’s going to tell Zeek.”

  “Why would she tell Zeek?”

  “Oh, I forgot you weren’t there. Zeek came up to the hospital when it first happened and demanded to see Summer. He said that he was her biological father.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Uh huh. I wonder if Ghost went ahead and got a test done.”

  I was still taking in that Zeek showed up to the hospital and claimed Summer as his own. “You did mention that she wasn’t Ghost’s, but I didn’t believe you.”

  “That’s because you and Justice never listen. I’m telling you… My technician knows what she be talking about. I just didn’t think that it would be Zeek’s baby.”

  “Did he tell you that he was messing with anyone?”

  “Me and Zeek have a free friendship. He does him, I do me and then we come together and do each other. It’s nothing more, nothing less.”
/>   “How do you feel about it?”

  “How do you want me to feel, Freedom? I’m not concerned about the shit that Zeek got going on. I’m glad to know what was going on because I’m going to make sure I distance myself from Zeek. Ghost is going to want revenge and he isn’t going to stop until he gets it. Something tells me that it was Zeek’s people that shot Staten and the girls.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because he was at my house the day it happened and was on the phone with someone. I’m not stupid and know what that code shit is, and then Staten gets shot with the girls.”

  “I should te—”

  “You shouldn’t tell anything. Free, I get you’re trying to rekindle something, but this isn’t your battle to fight. You need to mind your business and let both Ghost and Staten figure it out themselves.”

  “Mr. Davis!” I heard screaming and jumped up from the seat.

  “I’ll call you back,” I told Liberty and quickly ended the call. Following behind Shakira’s parents, I entered the room and found Shakira held up in the corner crying while the doctors were trying to stop Gyson. He had Summer’s bunny pajamas and was trying to put them on her.

  “Get the fuck off me. I need to get my baby dressed and take her home,” he growled as tears poured from his eyes and he tried to dress Summer. “Baby girl, I’ll even let you put your window down.. okay?” he spoke to Summer. Sadly, she would never be able to reply to her father. The whole scene was hard and sad to watch.

  “Sir, we can’t allow you to take her out the hospital,” one of the doctors told him. If looks could kill, he would have been dead. I stepped forward and took a deep breath.

  “Gyson,” I called out. “You don’t want to make a scene in front of Summer, do you?” I said.

  “Ma’a—” I held my hand up and silenced the doctor.

  “Free, can you get them out the fucking room? Shakira’s ass can leave too,” he said as he put Summer’s limp leg through the pant legs.

  “Wait, wait, wait,” I gently placed my hand on top of his and looked into his eyes. “Can you come with me really quick? Shakira is gonna finish and take over… I just really need to talk to you.”

  He was hesitant and left the room before I did. “He’s having a psychotic episode,” the main doctor said. “It’s common, people who experience a traumatic devastation like the one they both had experienced.”

  “What do I do?”

  “You should let both he and his fiancée figure it out. Why are you here anyway? Aren’t you the decorator?” Shakira’s mother opened her big dick suckers to throw shade.

  “Nah, your daughter couldn’t afford me,” I replied. “What should I do?” I didn’t ask her ass a damn thing, so she needed to tend to her daughter who was shaking in the corner. The other doctor covered Summer’s small body back up.

  “Take him home, let him get some rest and then see how he feels tomorrow about making arrangements for his daughter,” she told me. Trying to drag him out this hospital without Summer was going to be a challenge. It was a challenge that I was going to accept.

  When I stepped out into the hallway, Mirror and Mama Rae was hugging Ghost and crying with him. “We need to bring him home,” I told them.

  “I’m not leaving her,” he told me, and I sighed because the challenge had started. “I need to go back in there.”

  “No, you don’t. Baby, we have to let them take her body. We need to make arrangements. Come on, Gyson,” Mama Rae held his hand and pulled him down the hall.

  Shakira came out the room and watched as we walked down the hall. Ghost wanted to turn around and you could tell from his face. He continued to looking down the hall as we walked toward the elevators.

  “Mama Rae, he doesn’t need to go to his house,” I told her. Being home would just cause all the memories to rush into his mind. He didn’t need to be reminded that Summer was gone, and his home would surely remind him of that.

  “I know, baby. We’re going to go to my house. He needs to get away from this hospital, I know that much.”

  “My heart hurts so much.” Mirror wrapped her arms around my neck as we waited for valet to bring her car around.

  “I’m so sorry, baby girl,” I hugged her tightly. “Summer loved you all so much. She’s not longer suffering anymore.”

  Ghost stood at the curb silently looking out at it. It pained me to see him this way. He was the one who everyone went to when they were going through shit. I never saw him break down like the way he did. The car pulled up and Mama Rae took the keys to drive. I walked over to Ghost and wrapped my arms around him. He didn’t hug me back. Instead, he stood there continuing to stare into space.

  “Get in the car, G,” I told him and pulled him over to the car. Mirror had gotten into the back of the car. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” my voice cracked. My emotions were getting the best of me and I was trying to hold my tears in. “Hold your head up, G. I love you,” I told him as he got into the car.

  “Love you too, Free,” he mumbled, and I closed the door. I watched as they pulled away and stood there for a second longer than I should have.

  Mama, Samaj is trying to use the stove, Somali’s text brought me back to reality. Grabbing my key fob, I went to the parking lot to grab my car.

  I’m omw now. I replied and climbed into my truck to head home. The twins were back home with me. My assistant made sure she got my house unpacked and ready to be lived in. She had some of the workers from Atlanta fly into town to make sure the house was completed. I needed my babies close to me. Being away from home wasn’t an option for me and they knew it. I just needed to hug and kiss my babies a little extra tonight, and that’s what I planned on doing.

  I sat in my office trying hard to concentrate on the order forms I had in front of me. The task that I had was easy and I knew what needed to be done, but my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t concentrate. My mind was on Ghost and I wanted to see him badly. I needed to know that he was alright. His phones had been turned off and he had locked himself into his mansion. The only person he allowed to come and go was Priest. A week had passed since Summer had died and I knew he was going through it. I had only met her once, still it felt like I lost a member of my family. It was hard trying to get back to work and act like nothing just happened. Like I hadn’t seen a man lose his daughter and cry like a little boy who had lost his best friend. I was struggling so hard with trying to get back to the normal routine.

  Then, I had the task of telling the twins about their father. It was haunting me each time I saw their faces, it reminded me that I had to sit them down and tell them that I had lied their entire life. That was the big part that had me taking my time with telling them the truth. My kids looked at me as their world. To hear that I had lied to them about their father would tear them apart. Would they forgive me? Would they ever trust me again? I hated to break the trust they had in me, but knew that I needed to talk to them.

  “Your housekeeper let me in. Since when did you get a housekeeper?” she looked around my office as she walked further into the office.

  Justice had gotten out the hospital a few weeks ago. We were all upset, but not surprised when she chose to go back home with Todd. My mother wasn’t speaking with her and refused to have anyone mention her. I understood how angry my mother was. It was something that she didn’t want for her youngest daughter. Justice thought this time would be different, yet what was so different from how he acted before? He was missing a leg this time so he couldn’t chase after her when he abused her? We all wanted better for Justice, but she had to want it for herself first. Liberty was cool on Justice too, still she called and checked on her when she could. My mother was completely done with her. She screamed and told her that she and my father didn’t raise her that way. Love did some crazy shit to us and I understood that, but almost losing her life because Todd felt like drinking a ton before getting behind a wheel, should have woke her ass up.

  “I had to get one to take care
of this house and cook when I can’t,” I replied and minimized the screen on my laptop with the design plans. “What brings you by?”

  “I had a follow up with my doctor this morning. Everything looks good he says, but told me to keep taking it easy.”

  “And the baby?”

  “It was my primary doctor. We got to the OB/GYN next week to check on the baby,” she informed me and took a seat on the couch in my office.

  “Oh. Hope everything goes well.”

  “Mama still isn’t talking to me?” she questioned.

  “Did she call you?”

  “No.”

  “Did you call her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did she answer?”

  “No.”

  “There’s your answer. Justice, she’s pissed with you and if I have to be honest, we all are. Your decision is selfish. We sat in that hospital and prayed for you to come through and you did. All for you to go and be with the man that put you in that position in the first place.”

  “Why is it so hard for you guys to understand that I want to work on my family? Why does that piss all of you off?”

  “Because you’re stupid!” I screamed. It was hard trying to sit here and pretend that I could be here for her. “That damn man beats the fuck out of you! He drinks like a fucking fish and doesn’t give a damn about you.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at me. “He loves me, Freedom. I know he has his flaws, but he does love me, and I believe that.”

  “Yeah, he loves to take his anger out on you. What’s his next step? I know he can’t work for the fire department anymore.”