How to Get Out of Your Own Way

by Tyrese Gibson

  Open your mind and spirit. I know I can hit somebody with advice, and people will have a legitimate response that they are not able to do anything beyond their existing circumstances. I know it won’t be easy for some people to change their environment. But I hope reading this book will change your mind-set and help you realize that with most situations in your life, if you’re staying in those circumstances or that environment, it’s something you’re choosing to do. If you want better for yourself, seek out people who can help you or inspire you to change your circumstances.

  I hope you’ll see that where there’s a will, there’s a way, and once you take that first step, you may go through a rough patch and be down in the middle of the pit, but at some point there will be a light at the end of that tunnel, and when you see that light you better run, run fast as you can, and never turn back.

  The Art of the Hustle

  A hustle can take many forms, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. It’s just about trying to make something out of nothing any way you can and maximizing your potential. The hustle has created opportunities for me. That’s why I was able to take a thirty-second commercial and turn it into a fifteen-year career in show business. I give myself credit for hustling. I believe in you and I believe you have what it takes. There’s nothing you can’t do. The only limits are the ones you create for yourself.

  You have to focus on the big picture and have a vision of where you’re going and where you want to be. I’ve always been bold but for a long time it was just sporadic. In my personal life and career, I was bold with no sense of direction.

  In fact, my movie career started as one of those random bold moves. It wasn’t part of my plans to start in music and transition into movies. I didn’t want anything to do with Hollywood, movies, none of that. But if you want to make God laugh, you tell Him your plans.

  John Singleton will tell the story of how we first met. I was seventeen or eighteen and at a random Hollywood event, and John was there. Everybody knew him from Boyz n the Hood and Poetic Justice. Everybody knew he was a talented young black director from South Central and we all knew he had worked with Tupac. John says I walked right up to him at this party and said something like I’m a movie star and I’m gonna work with you one day. He was just like Okay, whatever! I don’t remember doing it, I don’t remember saying it. But he does and he’s told the story a few times.

  Years went by, and I ran into John a few more times. He was basically watching me grow up in the business, selling records, doing videos, my Guess campaign, hosting for MTV. He was directing Shaft and he wanted me to be in it, but I basically told him no. At the time, I wasn’t interested in doing anything in Hollywood. I was just so focused on my music career, being on the road and having fun with it, and I couldn’t wrap my head around anything that had to do with Hollywood. The other thing was that I came from the hood. I was dealing with the pressures of people saying You’re acting real Hollywood, and worrying that people were thinking I’d gotten this attitude that I was successful and had made it. Whether you’re successful in movies or music, they still say you went Hollywood when you start acting all arrogant. I really didn’t want to be seen like that, and if I were in the movies, my boys could definitely say I went all Hollywood. Looking back I know that was stupid, because I was making money from music anyway. But I was young.

  John was in New York working on Shaft and he was blowing up my phone, trying to get me to do the movie. I eventually changed my number because I knew how powerful he was and I didn’t want to keep telling him no. I can go on record that John Singleton is one of the first people to see something in me that I didn’t see in myself.

  I kept avoiding John, but once I saw the movie Hurricane, with Denzel Washington, stepping up was a no-brainer for me. I wanted to do what Denzel had done, so I said yes to the role of Jody in Baby Boy. Tupac was supposed to play the part of Jody but John offered it to me after Tupac died. I met up with John at the first house I ever bought and he was so tough because I had been avoiding him. We were sitting at the dinner table and he was telling me these different things he wanted to do in the movie, but I hadn’t read the script yet. He was basically pitching the movie to me and painting the picture—all the conflicts between the character I would play and Ving Rhames’s character and my mama and baby mamas and the tension at home from being a grown man living at home—and I thought, This guy is describing my life!

  John started reading a few pages and then said, Fuck this, you read it! I sat there and read the whole script, right in front of him. I didn’t really have to figure out the intricacies of what was going on between the characters because I had lived through a lot of that, except having children, of course. Even though that role was like a custom suit and John wanted me and had basically given me the role, I still felt like I had a lot to prove. I asked him if I could audition.

  I went to the Linwood Swap Meet in the hood, bought a beanie, a huge T-shirt, some Dickies, and some Chuck Taylors and went to the audition as Baby Boy. I felt like I wanted to earn the role. I wanted to confirm what I was feeling—that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do this movie thing, but I needed to try and I wanted to figure it out. John already knew I had it in me but I still wanted to show him that I had it.

  When the movie wrapped I said I was never going to act again, and I didn’t do a movie after that for a couple of years. I went back to my music full-time because, for the most part, music wasn’t as challenging for me. Baby Boy had been so heavy; I was working with an acting coach, Michelle Richards, but more than that, I had to stay in a dark space for the entire shoot, which was difficult for me. I had finally been out of the hood, traveling, moving around, having a career, and those three months on set were a constant reminder of my childhood. They were tremendously draining.

  After Baby Boy I was getting plenty of movie offers. Everybody was buzzing about my performance. Once again my life had completely changed. I couldn’t wrap my head around it all, it wasn’t real for me yet. I remember thinking to myself, Wow, this is some real Hollywood shit. I had never gone through that before and didn’t really believe they were complimenting me. Instead of going in a new direction, I jumped back on the road.

  A couple years later 2 Fast 2 Furious came up. The offer was totally beyond any amount I had heard before and I really didn’t have to think about that; I took the job right away. John Singleton got me my first movie in Hollywood, and I got John Singleton 2 Fast 2 Furious. I had gone into a meeting and the original director wasn’t coming back for the sequel. I said, “John Singleton would be incredible doing the movie,” and that’s how it happened. That was my first experience making connections between people.

  Back then, making that connection wasn’t a strategy of any sort. Even after John signed on, I didn’t realize that was the reason he’d gotten the job, because at the time they never suggested they would hire him. Besides, he was already John Singleton. Now, making connections for me is very strategic and well thought-out. It does something for me to know that two talented or capable people are putting their energy, thoughts, and ideas together and trying to move it into something. I’m a connector. I like connecting people and situations and seeing what will happen. When I think two people will get along based on their personalities or interests, I don’t always think about how it will benefit me or that I will be a part of their projects. I just get a kick out of making things happen.

  Before, I had been hustling, I had been bold, but I never had a strategy. Now, I’m the guy that thinks about everything. My days of winging it are over. There should be only a few opportunities that come by that I don’t think about first. Now I know when I need to plant a seed. I consider that masterminding.

  There are a lot of people who are bold and confident and have the audacity and just step in, but you have to ask yourself, What are you stepping into? What are you arranging? You can boldly step your ass into the circle but what are you going to do when you get there? I had been bold with no sen
se of direction. I had walked up to John Singleton and told him I was going to be in one of his movies, but now I am bold with a sense of vision.

  You have to come up with a plan. You’re either winging it or you’re strategizing. What’s the plan? What’s the next level? What are your thoughts? You want to allow the world to experience your thoughts because they mean nothing if they stay in your mind. Your intentions mean nothing if they stay in your heart.

  It took me some time to jump full-on into the movie game. My intentions were to take my movie money and help further my music career. Originally my heart was not in acting. But ultimately, I got to a place where I had to stop fighting the inevitability of what was right in front of me. I had to think about how many records I have sold. I’ve done well, but I haven’t sold the substantial amount of records that other young fly black dudes have sold. People love my voice, and love what I do as a singer, and women show up to see me in concert, but I haven’t reached the level of other successful music stars. I’m not trying to devalue myself, but I was fighting and fighting trying to do music even when everything about movies to me is so first-class and heavyweight. I realize now that I was fighting God’s plan and the benefits He was bringing to me by helping me get these movie roles.

  I had to be honest and come clean with myself. I may never be the biggest music star in the world. There is a possibility that that is ultimately not in the cards, so what am I going to do? I decided to maximize every possible opportunity and try to ride it out to its full potential. That is my responsibility, my duty and my priority.

  I was spinning my wheels in the music industry. You’ve got to go to the gym and shoot a video and go on the road and do concerts and radio promotions. You have to pay for all the dancers and the band and the travel—everything. Financially I was not benefiting as well as I could have been, compared to acting.

  People were reaching out to me with movie roles and I was running away from them, trying to chase a music career. What was I doing? It was completely asinine for anybody to say their first love is music when they’re down here financially at the end of the day, and everything about the movies puts them in a better bracket. I believe in sacrifice. I believe in the balls-out, all-or-nothing approach to getting things done but I also believe in common sense. My common sense told me this: If I’m on the road, I’m going to have two tour buses, which are going to cost a lot of money—I have to pay for the gas, the driver, my band, the rental equipment, their salaries, the dancers, all their costumes, the hotels that we’re going to stay in. I was giving up 20 percent to my management, another 10 percent to the booking agent who booked the shows, and all of the other random expenses that may come up, like last-minute emergency flights; whatever it was, I had to take care of it, because it was my tour. Of course, as you work your way up the ranks, the guys booking you for the shows, the promoters, will cover a lot of your expenses just to make sure you actually come and do their show, and right before I tapped out of the music game there were some expenses that the promoters covered for me. But pretty much everything else was on me.

  Could I disregard the experience, could I say I didn’t love my fans and people singing along with me and screaming my name? Could I say I didn’t love every moment of being on stage, listening to my fans sing along with my songs and come to my after-parties? No, I couldn’t say that. But at the end of the tour, after doing three or four or five in a row, it became very clear to me that financially I was more in the red than in the black. More money was going out to put the tour together than what was coming in. Some managers or agents or lawyers can look at my breakdown and say just maybe Tyrese had bad advisers. I could beg to differ, but that’s neither here nor there.

  Here’s the Hollywood breakdown. When I do films, I make millions of dollars. I have to give up 10 percent to my agency, 5 percent to my lawyer, I pay my taxes, and then everything else is mine. In the movie game they don’t say We’re going to pay you and then after the movie comes out you’re going to owe us the money we paid you to be in the movie until the movie earns back its budget. In the music game you get an advance that goes to your pocket. You also get an album budget that goes to pay for your producers, your studio, your travel expenses, and the rental equipment that you may use while you’re working on your masterpiece. But all the money you’re spending that they gave you in advance has to be earned back—paid back to the label—by selling albums, and only when it is do you start to make royalties. To me the music industry business model is the highest level of pimping I’ve ever experienced in my life.

  Here are more Hollywood details: They pay me to be in their movie. When the movie comes out, they have a budget of several thousand dollars to pay for my expenses for a stylist, hair, and wardrobe, all my travel is first-class, including private jets, to whatever city we’re filming in, or doing press junkets in. During filming they pay for my trainer, my living expenses, and they rent me a car of my choice. None of this money has to be paid back to them, so it’s all upside. Of course, we have to do interviews to help promote the movie during the press junket, but all of the marketing and advertising that goes for the movie is also at their expense, and if the movie doesn’t end up doing well, that’s on them. Obviously, if you’re associated with a film that doesn’t do well it leans on your name, but whether you signed up to do a bad movie or not, as an actor you just have to show up and give your best performance; people could say they didn’t like the overall movie, but at least your performance was solid. Some actors get back-end bonuses when a movie does really well. For example, if your movie grosses $100 million—or whatever your contract states—the studio sends you a bonus check.

  I have some unfortunate news for you music fans out there: A lot of your favorite singers and rappers aren’t as passionate about music as they used to be when they first started because of the lack of money that’s being made in the industry. Part of this is because of the Internet and free or illegal sharing of music files, and some online companies take huge percentages of each album sold. Because some rap stars and musicians have no other business options, they’re just going into the studio and put out albums they’re not passionate about just so they can survive and pay their bills. I believe it’s because of this that some music has been watered down and doesn’t have nearly as much soul as it did back in the day.

  I’m giving you all these details because your first love and what you’re really passionate about can sometimes bring a harsh reality for your finances. If you have the option to do something else that will help you earn money, I recommend you secure your future financially. When you do, you will be able to focus on the things you’re really passionate about without depending on the things you’re passionate about to pay your bills.

  You should always be strategizing. Don’t be another successful businessman or -woman who goes from being worth a few thousand dollars to millions of dollars and doesn’t know how to properly invest their money. Someone once told me that the biggest problem for most people who make a lot of money is that they are not aware or prepared for when they have reached their peak. Imagine if a boxer is making ten or fifteen million dollars a fight. Everything about his lifestyle represents that money, but he doesn’t know that he earned his last ten or fifteen million. He keeps thinking that his career is still going to continue and that another ten million will be coming to him, so his spending habits and his overhead are way over the top. He’s not in the mind-set to save and didn’t know that he just received his last check. We hear about it all the time: injuries and unexpected situations come up, so you’ve got to have emergency money off to the side, because you never know when you’ve reached your peak.

  Whether you’re a boxer, or a football or corporate player, you must always be aware of the next step and the possibility that life will throw you a curveball. Try your best not to get caught up in the moment. Always be strategizing and you will be prepared for the good and the bad.

  You can’t allow anyone to stop your mission. Ev
en if you hear people talk shit about you, you have to take that, use it, and execute. It’s like a game of chess. Someone’s mission is to take you out while you’re playing the game, so you have to outthink them. You have to figure out what they’re thinking and what your next move is going to be based on that—even if the person playing against you is you.

  I’m not trying to take dudes out. I don’t have any malicious intentions, but the point is, someone is going to end up giving you what you want, working with you, or on behalf of you. Before you talked to them, they could never see themselves doing what you were asking. You have to outthink the other person.

  If someone says anything malicious about you, you have to keep that in mind, know what they did and what they said. You have to remember if they were a part of shutting down any of your opportunities. Sometimes you’ve got to give up a little piece to get to a bigger piece. Sometimes you will take a hit and walk away with more than what you got hit for. You have to keep your eyes open to the big picture. Some people aren’t worth cutting off because you can get something out of the situation before you decide to shut it down.

  If you run into someone and you know they said some slick shit about you, try to act nonchalant. Even if you don’t want to hang with someone, walk up to them, give them some love, and keep it moving. That can be considered fake or not real or playing a mind game—because why would you shake someone’s hand when you know what they said or the crap they were trying to pull behind your back?—but you will end up reaping the benefits. You just never know who people might be or who they are connected to.

  I’m not about using people, and I want to make sure I’m clear on that. I don’t sit around and tolerate a bunch of crap so I can use people. It’s a fair exchange, no robbery. They have something I want and I have something they want. Even if they didn’t think they wanted it, I am going to make them believe that they did, and it’s going to happen.