Just Like Em

by Marion Ekholm

  “Sammy, you stay out of this. Grandma is not going back to work.” Just saying the words brought a niggling doubt to her mind. Hadn’t her mother said something the other day? No. She’d never want a full-time job that didn’t end when the school bell rang.

  “You don’t want her to work?” Roger asked.

  “That’s not the point. She spent thirty-five years teaching second graders. She’s earned a break, a chance to enjoy life and play for a change.”

  “She can play with us,” Sammy piped in. “We need someone to pitch the baseball, and she’s good at it.”

  “Oh, she’s a good baseball player. Sounds like perfect credentials for the job.”

  “Roger, please. Drop the subject. I can’t afford the rent and other expenses on my own. If she moves out...”

  “I understand.” He crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the front window.

  “I don’t just lose money, I lose family, our first real family in years,” Em said, raising her voice despite her attempt to control it.

  Roger remained silent for a long time, and Em felt relieved that the subject had died. She concentrated on driving down the steep mountain road that brought them into the valley north of Wickenburg. Sammy had remained close-lipped, too, and she checked the rearview mirror. He had fallen asleep again.

  * * *

  ROGER MUSED OVER their conversation. Em might need financial support and a baby-sitter for Sammy, but right now he was desperate. He needed someone to look after the kids while he was away at work, provide meals and keep the house in order, especially during those times when he’d have to travel to Seattle. He’d contacted agencies to help with his selection, but none of the applicants gave him the confidence he needed.

  And he certainly wouldn’t consider Millie. If he didn’t find someone soon, she’d be hounding him about it, insisting she could replace Sophia. How could he tell her no without hurting her feelings? As much as he disliked the woman, he didn’t want to alienate her.

  Doris would be perfect. As his mother’s best friend, he’d met her on several occasions. Their last encounter at Em’s apartment had made a favorable impression on him as well, and as a former teacher, she was well suited to take care of children.

  As long as he was working, he could help Em financially. By next summer, his severance would kick in. That should be enough time to straighten out his life. And Sammy could come to his house after school until Em picked him up. It was the most logical solution. But he didn’t dare spring it on Em while she was driving and risk an early grave.

  After they crossed over the wide dry bed of the Hassayampa River, Roger said, “I’m getting hungry.” He turned around in his seat. “What about you?” Sammy opened his eyes and gave him a drowsy smile. Roger had to control the urge to add “son,” the word that came so naturally to his lips when he spoke to his own boys. That particular endearing term would send Em ballistic again. Boy, she could make the biggest deal out of nothing.

  When they pulled to a stop in the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant, he decided to spring his decision on her. “I’m going to speak to your mother, Em. Doris might go for the idea of living with my family, and I have to hire someone I can trust. I’ll figure out something to cover your expenses and take care of Sammy while you’re at work.”

  “You’ll work it out? Oh, that’s just great!” If Em wasn’t restrained in her seat.... She looked furious. Roger opened the door, ready to make a quick exit.

  “Think about it, Em. She’ll have her own suite with a private entrance. We’ll work it so everyone’s happy. What do you say? At least let me ask her.”

  Sammy appeared and hung over the seat, cutting off eye contact with Em. “Can we come and live with you, too?”

  Roger didn’t know how to reply, so he remained motionless while Sammy continued.

  “I can sleep with Chip and Chaz, and Mom can stay with Grandma. Then we won’t need that old apartment anymore.” Sammy snapped his mouth shut into a self-satisfied grin, tossed his hands in the air and waited for a response.

  The boy had a practical mind, a solution to every problem, and what he said made logical sense. Roger snuck a peek at Em. From her expression, he knew she didn’t care for the idea at all.

  “Oh, boy.” Roger got out and stood by the car door. “Let’s get something to eat.” He opened the back door and grabbed Sammy’s hand. “We’re going to need nourishment to handle the fallout.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  ROGER AND SAMMY walked hand in hand into the restaurant without a backward glance at Em. Fallout? Exactly what did Roger mean by that? She started to chuckle, thankful the two men in her life weren’t able to hear her laughing, because they could never understand what she considered so funny.

  The expression on Sammy’s face had been precious. He believed he had come up with a solution equal to that of solving world hunger. It was so completely off the wall that it couldn’t be taken seriously. Yet, Roger actually believed she’d be upset with her son’s innocent remark.

  Em opened the door of the car and got out into the hot air. Already she missed the cooler weather they’d left behind in Prescott.

  Once in the restaurant, she started to chuckle again and put her hand over her mouth to try to control her laughter. Roger raised one eyebrow as she approached.

  “Don’t worry. I’m not going to blow up.”

  “Really? You like the idea then?”

  Em laughed outright, unable to hold it in any longer. “No. I just think we’re wasting a lot of energy. My mother hasn’t even been approached about your offer, so we’re arguing over a moot point.”

  “What’s a mood point?” Sammy asked.

  Without correcting his pronunciation, she said, “Something that’s not worth worrying about because it will never happen.”

  Roger picked up their tray, loaded with wrapped food, and headed for a table. “Well, if you’re not going to loan me your mother, will you help me check out the applicants?” He sat down and began distributing the food. “The agency is sending over two prospects I have to interview. I’d appreciate any input you can give me.”

  “Why not ask Samantha to help?”

  Roger sat back, his jaw dropping a bit before he closed his mouth. “You got to be kidding. I should ask for a thirteen-year-old’s opinion about something this important?”

  “Yes. She knows what has to be done. Besides, you’ll want her to work with the person and not create a problem. If she’s involved in the process, she’ll be more inclined toward making it work.”

  Roger popped a French fry in his mouth and winked at her son. “I like Sammy’s idea better.”

  “In your dreams.”

  “Is she going to blow up now?”

  “Boom!” Em said as she threw her arms out to imitate an explosion. “I just blew up.” Sammy started to giggle, and Roger joined in.

  At that moment Em realized she’d never been happier, laughing with the two of them. Her son was well, after a harrowing experience, and she sat across from the man of her dreams, someone who treated her son as though he were his own. Sammy had a companionship he’d never experienced with his own father. If only this could go on forever.

  She yearned for this man to love and cherish them both, make them part of his own. But she could never replace Karen. His dead wife stood between them, preventing any permanent relationship. Fifteen years ago, Em had tried to break the bond between them and failed miserably. What chance did she have now that the bond had grown stronger?

  Em’s thoughts sobered her, but she refused to let them dampen her present mood. At least she had these few precious moments of happiness to treasure.

  * * *

  “WHAT’S THIS MOOD thing that makes you explode?” her mother asked Em the Monday after she returned from Prescott. They were p
reparing supper, and Em finished placing the dishes on the table before reaching for the silverware.

  “You been talking to Sammy?”

  “Not exactly. He talks nonstop with his new friends on the phone, and this mood thing kept coming up. When I asked him about it, he said it makes you explode. It have something to do with his trip to the hospital?”

  “No.”

  “If I’m prying...?”

  “No, it’s not that. Sammy’s mispronouncing m-o-o-t, for moot point, involving a silly tiff I had with Roger. It became a joke.”

  “So—what’s the joke? I like a good laugh.”

  Should Em explain? What if her mother liked the idea of taking care of someone else’s children in a large home? Em collapsed on the dining room chair and indicated her mother should do the same. Doris gingerly took the seat opposite her. “You’re not going to explode, are you?”

  Em chuckled and reached for her mother’s hand. “No, but this whole blowup business involves you.”

  Doris pulled her hand free and placed it on her cheek. “Me? What did I do?”

  Em stretched across the table and took her hand again. “Nothing, Mom. It’s just that Sammy said—you were thinking about getting a job. You’re bored home alone.”

  Doris laughed as she patted her daughter’s hand. “That boy picks up on everything.”

  “Then you do want to go back to work?”

  “Oh, Em, I looked forward to early retirement, but I miss the kids, the routine.” She smiled and leaned across the table. “Sammy and I have such fun together, but once he’s off to school...” Doris sat back and looked around the room. “How many times can I clean this small apartment?”

  A chill ran down Em’s spine. Maybe working for Roger would suit her mother’s needs. It certainly would provide enough activity, as well as enough children, to fill her day. “I never realized you were unhappy.”

  “Oh, posh.” Doris waved dismissively and got up from the table. “I’m not complaining. This is a wonderful time in my life, and I have loads of options. I’ll put in my application to do substitute teaching. They always need people, and I can work out my schedule to be home when Sammy’s here. Now, let’s put dinner on the table before it gets cold.”

  Em rose from the table, unwilling to tell her mother anything more about Roger’s need for a housekeeper. It could be a moot point, again, since Roger was interviewing candidates tonight. If one worked out, there’d be no need to look for anyone else. But if it didn’t... Roger had little time left, and her mother did want a job.

  When Em joined her mother to help with the dishes, Doris pointed a sudsy finger at several crushed pieces of paper. “I did the laundry today. Those things were stuffed in one of your pockets. Anything you want to keep?”

  Em put the dishtowel down and reached for the receipts her ex had sent her. She sighed disgustedly. “Bradley expects me to pay for his college expenses. Look at this.” Em flipped over the one with his writing. “Can you believe it?”

  Doris squinted at the papers then returned to her dishes. “Are you going to?”

  “Are you kidding?” With a flick of her wrist, Em sent the papers toward the wastepaper basket. Only one made it, and she had to bend over to pick up the rest. “I don’t owe that creep a dime.” This time she deposited the receipts in the receptacle.

  “Give me five,” Doris said, her hand raised. Em slapped her hand, sending soap suds in every direction.

  That evening, Em stayed dressed in her business attire of beige silk suit and turquoise shell, which she’d worn to work that day. She wanted to look professional while helping Roger with his interviews. Could she be objective? Her own financial fears and mixed emotions muddled her thoughts as she approached Roger’s home.

  * * *

  DURING THE FIRST interview, the candidate took herself out of the running. She wanted her weekends free, an impossibility under the present circumstances. Roger walked the woman to the door, thanked her and returned to the living room, where Em and Samantha sat on the couch.

  Sophia had dismissed herself early from the interview, saying too many cooks spoiled the soup. He didn’t bother to argue. Four of them tossing questions could be intimidating to anyone seeking the job.

  Em had said little. She looked untouchable, her hair pulled to the back of her head in the same style she’d worn the first time he’d run into her at Metro. Whereas he and Samantha were both dressed in shorts and knit T-shirts, Em wore a suit. On several occasions he noticed her taking a furtive glance at Karen’s portrait. Em looked about as uncomfortable as he felt under Karen’s watchful gaze. How come the picture never bothered him before? He’d take it down the first opportunity he had and give it back to Millie.

  He had almost mentioned Millie’s offer to Samantha. But he didn’t know what her reaction might be, and he wasn’t willing to take the risk in case she might like the idea. Roger shook his head in an attempt to chase his mother-in-law from his thoughts.

  He’d had no contact at all with Em until she showed up tonight. Was this cold and controlled woman the same one who had fallen asleep in his arms?

  “I still don’t see why you don’t hire me,” Samantha said when he returned to his easy chair. “I get home before the boys, and Sophia taught me how to cook all sorts of things.”

  “No.” The topic had been broached many times. But Samantha wouldn’t take no for an answer, and her insistence had become quite annoying.

  “I can do the laundry and vacuum, and you don’t have to pay me as much as you pay her, and I can move into her apartment so the boys don’t have to share a room anymore.”

  “Samantha, I said no.”

  Samantha turned to Em. “What do you think?”

  Roger grasped the arms of his chair. He was the deciding voice in this house. Yet, if he insisted on his way, it usually sent Samantha running to her room in a huff. Would Em back him? He tried desperately to make eye contact with her, but she avoided looking at him.

  Em smiled and reached across the short distance to pat Samantha’s hand. “I think you did a great job tonight helping your father, and in an emergency you’d pitch in and do all those things you mentioned. But you don’t want a full-time you-have-to-do-it-every-minute job. An apartment of your own and the money aren’t worth it.”

  Roger released the arms of the chair and started to breathe again. He hadn’t realized how important it was to have Em agree with him.

  “Are too,” Samantha muttered.

  “Not if you have no time to spend the money, and the only thing you do in your new room is sleep. No friends, no parties, no movies, no TV. You’d be giving up your life.” Em looked in his direction but quickly looked away.

  He wanted to let her know how much he appreciated what she said. It duplicated what he felt, and Samantha accepted it without further remarks or tantrums. How could this woman accomplish so much with such ease? He wanted to take Em in his arms and thank her. He’d also enjoy pulling that hair free so she’d look like the Em he knew.

  Why wouldn’t she look at him?

  The doorbell rang. Reluctantly, Roger went to answer it. He sincerely hoped this new candidate would fit the bill. He didn’t have the stamina to go through more interviews.

  Samantha asked numerous questions during the interview and chatted amicably about daytime soaps and the evening TV programs. Since she and the woman hit it off so well, Roger figured this had to be the one. But Samantha dismissed her as soon as she went out the door. “The lady watches too much TV. When will she do her work?”

  “You’ve got a point,” Roger said as he pulled his hand through his hair. “But I’ve contacted every reputable agency, and every person they suggest has a flaw. We’ll have to go with this one.”

  Samantha tossed her hands in the air and gave him a dirty look. “What do you have me
here for if you don’t even value my opinion?”

  “I do value it, and you’re probably right, but we’ve got no more time and no other people to interview. Unless...” He paused and glanced at Karen’s portrait before returning his attention to his daughter. “I wanted to avoid it but...your grandmother said she’d like to fill in once Sophia leaves.”

  “Nana Betty!” Samantha jumped to her feet. “Oh, that would be great.”

  “No. Grandma Millie,” Roger said without a scrap of enthusiasm. If only he could con his mother into staying with his children. Life certainly would be simpler, but his parents weren’t expected back from their Australian cruise until mid-September.

  Samantha screwed her face into a scowl and plopped down on the couch again, arms folded across her chest. “She treats me like a two-year-old. And I don’t like Flagstaff. I’d rather stay in Phoenix with my friends.”

  The remark caught Roger totally off guard. Of course, Millie would expect them to stay with her in Flagstaff. Having his children in another city would complicate his life even more. Different schools. Longer commutes. Roger ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Now what was he supposed to do?

  “I’ll talk to that last candidate. We’ll work something out with her.”

  “Okay,” Samantha said with a sigh. “At least I’ll have someone to watch TV with.”

  Em stood. “I think I’d better be heading home. It’s getting late. Roger, would you walk me to the door?”

  “Oh, here it comes. Kissy, kissy.” Samantha propelled herself off the couch and paused under the wide arch that separated the living room from the hallway. “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want me to do.” She scooted up the stairs and disappeared before Em reached the hall.

  Kissy, kissy indeed. Where did his daughter get such ideas? As much as he’d like to, he and Em had never kissed except for a peck on the cheek. And it didn’t look as if he’d ever have the chance.

  Maybe if he apologized...

  Yeah, right. Just be grateful she wants to talk.