She wondered if Ally had tried to ring her. Meg glanced around the station for a public phone, but the train was already pulling in. She told herself to stop stressing. Nothing would have happened. It never did any other time. She’d ring Ally once she got to Sydney.
* * *
It was nearly three hours before the train pulled into Central Station. Meg was exhausted. Apparently there was track work, so the passengers were herded off the train at Wentworth Falls and bussed down to Glenbrook. By the time she got another train to Central, Meg felt like she’d been traveling all day. She walked wearily out to a waiting taxi. It wasn’t until they had driven off that she realized she still hadn’t phoned Ally. She was too tired to care anymore, she just wanted to get home.
Meg paid the fare and got out of the cab. She put her key into the door, and pushed it open, peering down the hall. The house was dark, and eerily quiet. She expected Chris to appear at the end of the hallway, but there was only silence. She was about to call out, but maybe they were both napping, though it was a bit late in the afternoon.
She closed the door and tiptoed down the hall. She glanced into the lounge room. Chris was just sitting there in the half-light. The blinds were drawn. The television was off, and the stereo. Meg started to feel uneasy.
“Hi,” she said quietly.
He cleared his throat. “Hello.”
She walked into the room, and set her bag down. “What’s going on. Where’s Harrison?”
“He’s sleeping.”
“It’s late for him to still be asleep.”
“We’ve been in casualty all night.”
“What?”
“The doctors suspected meningitis. But he’s been cleared.”
Meg was visibly shocked. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. “Did you say meningitis?” She turned toward the doorway. “My God! I have to see him—”
“No,” Chris said firmly. “He’s sleeping, leave him be. He’s had a rough night.”
“But he should be in the hospital—”
“He was!” he almost barked. “Stop and listen to me, Meg!”
She turned around slowly.
“I said he’s been cleared. He has a secondary infection in the chest, and he’s on antibiotics. He needs to rest.”
Meg felt like her head couldn’t contain all of this. “You said he was fine yesterday.”
“He was. But when he woke from his nap he had a raging fever. It wouldn’t come down no matter what I did, and he wouldn’t stop crying.”
“You should have called me…” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Meg realized what was going on. Chris sitting here in the dark, the anger in his voice.
“I did call you.”
She held her breath. She had no idea what he knew at this point. Maybe nothing. She’d say she lost the phone soon after talking to him yesterday …
“You weren’t answering your phone, so I called Ally.”
Meg swallowed, watching him.
“She said you were asleep.” He paused. “I told her that I believed you’d want to be woken if your son was sick.”
Chris just sat, not moving. His eyes were accusing, disbelieving, hurting. She couldn’t bear it.
“Where have you been, Meg? I think I deserve to know.”
She crumpled down into a chair. There was a long silence while she composed her thoughts.
“Where were you?” he repeated grimly.
Meg was trembling. “Um, yesterday, I went to Wonderland.” God, she felt so stupid.
“What?” Chris frowned. “For the whole night?”
She tried to steady her breathing. “No, I stayed in a house up in the mountains last night.”
“Who were you with?”
Meg froze. But she couldn’t lie anymore. What was the point now anyway?
“He was just someone I met at a shoot. But I swear nothing happened,” she blurted. “I mean, something started but I stopped it. I didn’t want to. Nothing happened…” Her voice trailed away.
“Yes it did.”
Meg watched Chris stand up and cross the room. He picked up an overnight bag. She hadn’t noticed it till now. “Where are you going?”
“It doesn’t matter. You can reach me on my mobile.”
“Will you be at your mother’s?”
“No, I don’t want to involve her and Dad yet.”
That gave Meg the tiniest glimmer of hope.
“I’ve written down all the dosages and times for Harrison’s medication. It’s all out on the kitchen bench.”
He walked to the door. “One more thing. If Harrison asks for me, with so much as a hint of distress, I want you to call me. I don’t care what time it is. My phone will be turned on.”
She nodded.
“I had to listen to him scream for his mother last night. I won’t put him through that again.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. Somehow Meg found the strength to stand up. She turned to face him. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Chris. I never meant for this to happen.”
He turned and walked through the doorway without saying another word. She heard the front door open, and close again quietly, his footsteps on the front path, and the squeaking of the gate.
Meg stood there, rooted to the spot. Her whole world was collapsing around her and she couldn’t do anything to stop it. She walked out to the kitchen and reached for the phone on the wall. Her hand shook as she dialed Ally’s number.
“Hello?”
“Ally—”
“Meg, my God! Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you.”
“I’m sorry, Ally,” she said weakly. “I’m home now.”
“How is Harrison?”
“He’s okay.”
“Chris was talking about meningitis last night…”
“Apparently he was cleared. He’s okay.”
“Thank God.” Ally paused. “Meg, what happened to you? Why weren’t you answering your phone?”
Meg sighed. “After I spoke to Chris in the afternoon, I stuck it in the glove box of the car. I forgot about it.”
“I didn’t know what to say to him when he rang,” Ally explained. “First I told him you were in the shower and I’d get you to ring back. I tried to reach you on your mobile, but you weren’t answering. He called back after a while, I said you were asleep, which was just so lame. He said, ‘Don’t you think she’d want to be woken?’ He knew, Meg. It was awful.”
“I’m so sorry, Ally. I didn’t mean to put you through that.”
“It’s okay,” she dismissed. “What did Chris say when you got home?”
“Not a lot.”
“Where is he now?”
“He’s gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?”
“I don’t know,” Meg felt tears welling. “He’s left me.”
Ally didn’t know what to say. “Oh Meg.”
“The stupid thing is, nothing happened in the end. I couldn’t go through with it.” She heard a weak cry from Harrison’s room. “Harrison’s waking, I have to go.”
“Are you going to be alright?”
“Sure,” she sniffed.
Ally hesitated. “I’ll come up and see you this week.”
“No, don’t worry—”
“Just give me a few days to work it out.”
“You don’t have to do that, Ally.”
“I want to.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll talk to you later.”
Meg hung up the phone and walked up the hall to Harrison’s room. She opened the door. He was standing in his cot. He was pale and glassy-eyed, but he managed a weak little smile when he saw her.
He reached his arms out to her. “Mama.”
Meg gathered him up and held him close to her. She sat down in the rocking chair and started to sob. Harrison lay listlessly against her as tears streamed down her cheeks.
He looked up into her eyes and reached his hand up to touch her face. “No cry Mama.”
Tuesday
“Ally! Ally!”
Ally turned around. Frances Callen was rushing toward her. She was in the middle of Bowral shopping center, walking along in a daze, having forgotten what she came here for. She couldn’t stop thinking about Meg, she had never heard her sound so hopeless. Ally was planning to get up to Sydney as soon as she could, but she felt torn because there was still so much to do for the wedding.
“Hi, Frances,” Ally said as she caught up to her. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” she replied, breathing heavily. “I’ve been calling you all the way down the street.”
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
“Are you okay?” Frances asked, frowning at her.
“Sure,” Ally mustered a smile. She certainly didn’t know Frances well enough to involve her in her problems.
“I was going to phone you at home. I have some good news,” Frances continued.
“Oh?” Ally could do with some good news.
“I have a friend coming down next weekend, he’s a photographer with Habitat.” She paused for effect. “He’s interested in doing a shoot at the restaurant. He wants to feature you.”
* * *
Ally burst through the doors to the kitchen of the restaurant. Rob and Matt were sitting having a beer.
“Where’s Nic?” she blurted, out of breath.
“She had to go and pick up something from the post office. What’s up?” asked Rob. “You look like you’ve just won the lottery or something.”
“Oh, I should wait for Nic before I tell you,” she started. “But I can’t! They want to feature us in Habitat magazine!”
“Who’s ‘they’?” asked Rob, disinterestedly.
“Whoever decides these things!” Ally exclaimed. “I bumped into Frances Callen just now, up the road, and she has a friend who’s a photographer for Habitat, and she told him all about this place, and he thinks it would make a great feature!”
Ally wanted to feel happy about something, just for a little while. She looked at them, waiting for a response. Matt took a sip of his beer. Rob seemed thoughtful.
“What is wrong with you two?” Ally cried. “I should have waited for Nic, she’d realize what a good break this is. Think of the exposure!”
“Habitat,” Rob mused. “But it’s a house magazine, isn’t it?”
“So what? All sorts of people read it, people who come for weekends away down here.”
He shrugged. “Might be alright, I guess.”
Ally slumped on a stool, opposite them. “What about you, Matt?”
“What’s it got to do with me?”
“Well, she said they’d give me a mention. I’m sure they’d do the same for you.”
He looked at her. “I’d rather they didn’t.”
“Why?” she frowned.
“I don’t need the, what did you call it, ‘exposure’? I’ve got a bloody waiting list as long as my arm already.”
“Around here, you mean,” Ally reminded him.
“That’s right.”
“But this is a national magazine.”
“So?”
“Well,” Ally was getting flustered, “you could work wherever you chose.”
“I chose here, a long time ago.”
“Philistine,” she muttered.
“Ally!!!” Nic’s voice screeched from the front hall. There was more than a hint of hysteria to it. Maybe she had bumped into Frances as well?
“Ally!” she screeched again as she burst through the kitchen doors. “It’s a fucking disaster!”
Ally looked at her face. She was carrying a large flat box. Oh no. The bridesmaid dress.
“I said peach, didn’t I? I mean, you heard me, on the phone? You heard me too, Rob?”
He shrugged, frowning.
“I even sent a swatch. You saw it, didn’t you Ally?”
“What’s happened?” Ally said calmly, handing her Rob’s beer. She took a swig.
“Look in the box. Just look at what they sent!”
She was almost afraid to, but Ally knew that whatever she saw, she had to claim that it was beautiful, and even better than Nic’s original idea.
She lifted the lid and moved back the layers of tissue paper.
“It’s orange!” Nic wailed.
“No, it’s not!” Ally lied.
Nic pulled the dress out of the box and held it up, staring at Rob. “Is this peach?”
“I’m a chef, love. Peach is a fruit.”
“Matt?”
He shrugged. “Looks orange to me.”
Ally dug him sharply in the ribs.
“Ow.”
“What am I going to do? This is awful.”
“Nic,” said Ally evenly. “It’s quite attractive, if you’d just calm down and look at it. Okay, it’s not exactly what you had in mind, but it’s not as though it’s bright orange. It’s more like … sherbet.”
Nic looked at it. “Maybe…”
“And I know a way to really fix it.”
“Shoot my sisters, so we only have to buy you a new dress?”
Ally ignored her. “We could use something like georgette, or even tulle, something sheer, and make an overlay.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you put a sheer fabric over one color and you’ll get a completely different effect. Like, a very pale pink over this could make it look more like peach. But another shade may look even better.”
“But how will we be able to find something like that down here? In two weeks? And then get the alterations done?” Her voice rose hysterically with each new thought.
“Nic, have another drink,” Ally said, picking up the bottle of beer and handing it back to her. “We already have the dressmaker booked for me. I’ll take this around and show her what we have in mind. She can work out how many meters we’ll need for three dresses.” Ally took a breath and continued. “I’m going up to Sydney at the end of the week, so I can look for the fabric.”
“Why are you going up to Sydney? We have so much to do!” Nic cried, alarmed.
“I’ll only be gone overnight.”
“But why now?”
“I promised Meg. She needs me.”
“Well so do I!”
Ally didn’t want to debate who had the greatest need at this point. She remembered she hadn’t told Nic about the photo shoot. That would change the subject. “Nic, we’ve had some fabulous news. I forgot to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“They want to do a feature on the restaurant in Habitat magazine!”
Nic stared at her wide-eyed. “Classic! How did that happen?”
“A friend of Frances Callen’s is the photographer. He’s coming down next weekend!”
“Oh my God! My family’s arriving Thursday, so they’ll be here for it. That should impress my parents! And it will get right up Deidre’s nose.” She sniggered with that last thought.
Ally sighed with relief. That seemed to have taken Nic’s mind off the dress debacle, at least for the meantime.
“There could be a problem with the date,” Rob said suddenly.
“What date?” Nic frowned.
“The date of the wedding.”
Oh for crying out loud, why was he bringing it up now?
“Apparently the last weekend of September is all the footie grand finals. My brothers nearly hit the roof when the invitations arrived in the mail.”
“Didn’t you mention the date to them before now?”
“Probably. I doubt they would have taken much notice.”
“Well bad luck, it’s only a football game.”
“Nic, they’re from Melbourne, remember.”
“So?”
“It’s a religion down there,” Matt explained.
“It’s a big deal to them, Nic,” added Rob.
“So is my wedding!” she cried. “What do you expect me to do? The invitations have all been sent, my family’s virtually on their way from England.
Get real, Rob! It’s only a bloody football game!”
“We could promise them we’ll arrange to have it taped,” Ally broke in. “And they can all sit down that night, after the reception, and watch it.”
Matt shook his head. “I don’t think they’ll … Ow, Ally! Will you stop elbowing me?”
“If you’d stop opening your big mouth!” she said under her breath.
Nic took a few gulps from the bottle. “Ally’s right, we’ll tape it. That will have to do.”
Wednesday
Meg had finally stopped crying. When she phoned Simon to tell him she wouldn’t be coming in on Monday, she started to cry as soon as she heard the concern in his voice. She cried every time she looked at Harrison. And each evening when Chris rang to check on his son, she dissolved into uncontrollable sobbing after he hung up. She couldn’t stand the distance in his voice. He was her best friend. Or he used to be. Meg had created the distance. Not just last weekend, but for months now she had been walking away from him.
This morning she had only cried on waking. But after she washed her face and pulled herself together to go into Harrison, she didn’t cry again. He was standing as usual, his arms stretched over the top of the cot, reaching for her. But today his cheeks were pink and his eyes bright.
“Mama!” he squealed delightedly.
Meg scooped him up in her arms. He held her face and gave her a sloppy kiss. “Kiss for Mama!” he exclaimed.
“Are you feeling better today, Harrison?”
Meg noticed a twinkle in his eye as he nodded eagerly.
“Choc lol-lol for Harry?”
Now she knew he was all better. She smiled for the first time in three days.
* * *
Meg sat on the back step in the midmorning sun watching Harrison play happily in the garden. He hadn’t been outside for a week, and he was relishing it. Chris’s mother was coming around for a couple of hours later on, giving Meg a chance to go into work, see if there was anything needing her attention. Mostly she just wanted to talk to Simon. She hadn’t told him anything the other day on the phone, it was too hard. He thought she was upset over Harrison, and Meg had let him believe that for the meantime. Today she would fill in the rest. And there was something else she had to do.
She picked up the handset she’d brought outside and dialed her mobile number. Eventually a male voice answered, but it didn’t sound like Jamie’s.
“Hello, is that Jamie?” Meg said uncertainly.
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