“No, this is Brett.”
Who the hell was Brett? “Oh, look I’m sorry to bother you. You don’t know me, and this is probably going to sound odd, but you’re speaking on my phone.”
“Oh, then you must be Meg!”
She was taken aback. “Yes, that’s right.”
“I’ve been telling Jamie he ought to get in touch with you. You keep getting calls and he never answers them, reckons he doesn’t know how. Bloody halfwit.”
“Well, I would like to get the phone back…”
“Sure! Got a pen? I’ll give you the address, I’m at Bondi.”
“You’re Taylor’s brother?”
“I am. How’d you know that?”
“I’ve met Taylor a couple of times.”
“Then we’re like old mates. Listen, tell me when you’re likely to come around, and I’ll make sure someone’s going to be here.”
“Well, actually, I’ll probably have a chance later today.”
* * *
Meg found Brett’s place easily enough. It was one of the shabby, nondescript blocks back from the beach. She walked up a flight of stairs to the first floor and knocked at number six. There was music playing inside, and she wasn’t sure she’d been heard. She was about to knock again when the door suddenly opened. Jamie stood on the other side. They stared at each other, not moving. Meg couldn’t think of anything to say; besides nothing would come out. She didn’t seem to have a voice.
Jamie broke the silence. “You’ve come for the phone?”
She nodded.
“Brett said you called. Come in, I’ll get it for you.”
He turned and Meg followed him down a narrow hallway into a small living room. There was a backpack opened in the middle of the floor, half packed.
“It was here somewhere,” Jamie was saying, moving around papers spread out over the table. Meg noticed a passport, and a Thai Airlines ticket folder.
“You’re going away?” she asked, finding her voice finally.
He nodded. “Here it is,” he said, scooping the phone out from under a newspaper. He handed it to Meg.
“I thought you didn’t have the money to get away at the moment?”
“I worked something out.”
They stood there, not saying anything. Jamie thrust his hands in his pockets. Meg was beginning to feel awkward. Maybe she should go. But she felt like something needed to be said.
She cleared her throat. “Jamie…”
He looked at her, waiting.
“I, um.” She didn’t know what to say.
“Look Meg, I’m not really into meaningful goodbyes. Let’s just say, ‘no regrets’ and leave it at that.”
He may as well have slapped her in the face.
“I’m not sure that I don’t have any regrets.”
Jamie shook his head and gave a rueful half-laugh. “Fine Meg, I’ll be the big regret of your life if you want.”
“I don’t regret meeting you, Jamie,” she said slowly, her thoughts forming as she gave voice to them. “But I do regret what I did to my husband. I thought I could do whatever I wanted and not hurt anyone. It doesn’t work like that.” She paused. “But I don’t regret knowing you, Jamie,” she repeated.
He turned to her with a strange look in his eyes.
“See, I thought I was missing something in my life,” Meg continued. “You gave me the chance to see things from another perspective. At first it all seemed adventurous and exciting. But now I realize that you’re not really experiencing life, Jamie. You’re running away from it. You travel all over the world, jump off cliffs and barrel down mountains, to get away from really living.”
Jamie raked his fingers through his hair and paced restlessly in the corner of the room, like he was caged. Meg had never seen him look so uncomfortable.
“So, now you’ve been enlightened, I suppose you think that wiping snotty noses and sleeping next to the same person all your life is really living?”
She thought about it. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.”
He stopped and stared at her. “Well, good luck to you, Meg.”
“And the same to you, Jamie.”
Meg turned and walked down the hallway to the front door. She left without looking back.
Thursday
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Nic gushed, when she dropped Ally at Meg’s. They’d spent the morning shopping in Sydney, having left Bowral at the crack of dawn. They had a list of fabric outlets the dressmaker had recommended, and they found a beautiful organza, in a soft cream that Nic was certain was the same shade as her own dress. It had a gorgeous effect over the orange, and Nic was thrilled. Ally was just relieved.
“Should I come in and say hello to Meg?”
Ally looked at her watch. “You’ll be late. Isn’t their plane due to land soon?”
Nic pulled a face. “Yeah, I suppose.”
“They’re your family. You must be a little excited about seeing them?”
“Why do you think I moved out to Australia? It wasn’t just for the climate, you know!”
Ally smiled at her. “At least you’ve got family. And they’ve traveled all this way to be here with you.”
“Sorry, I forgot.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Ally dismissed. “Now, I will look forward to seeing you all tomorrow evening, by which time everyone will be settled in and getting on like a house on fire.”
She realized this was probably overly optimistic. Nic had planned a special dinner at the restaurant, and Ally and Matt had been enlisted for support. Rob was cooking, the coward.
Nic looked at her dubiously. “Maybe not a house on fire, but something just as disastrous,” she grimaced.
* * *
Ally was alarmed to see Meg’s ashen face, her bloodshot eyes. She’d never seen her looking so broken. Meg told her everything. She went right back to the first time she met Jamie, until their brief meeting yesterday.
For Meg, it was a relief to have it all out into the open. She had told too many lies and had had too many secrets over the past few months.
“What’s going to happen?” Ally asked.
Meg shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said in a small voice. “Chris is terribly hurt.”
Ally looked at her. “Did you get a chance to explain…”
Meg shook her head. “We haven’t talked at all.”
“It’s just that if he hears your side, I think he’ll understand.” Chris was the most understanding person Ally had ever known. And he adored Meg. Surely he would come back to her?
“Ally, I don’t expect anything from anyone. I’ve betrayed you all.”
“Don’t say that.”
“But it’s true. I asked people to lie for me, and I lied to my husband, so that I could go off for a weekend with another man, leaving a sick baby.” She took a breath. “How did I become this person?”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Ally insisted. Meg was never this desolate. She always had a funny crack, something to lighten the mood. “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.”
“And I saved mine up and made the biggest one I possibly could.”
Ally frowned at her. “I’m worried about you, Meg. I think I should come back and stay with you, till you get things sorted.”
“What are you talking about, Ally?” Meg frowned. “What about the wedding?”
“I’ll come after the wedding.”
“And then there’s that job you’re doing, for that woman.”
Ally looked at her.
“You probably thought I wasn’t paying much attention, but I remember something.” Meg paused. “Ally, you have your own life. Don’t you dare leave all you’ve got to come and hold my hand.”
“Meg, the wedding will be all over in a couple of weeks, and then I have one client. That’s hardly a full life.”
“What about Matt?”
Ally swallowed. “Okay, so I have a friend, a few friends actually. I can keep in touch with them.”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
Meg looked at her dubiously. “All that stuff about him leaving his wife is just an excuse,” she continued, almost to herself. “You know, it doesn’t have to be like it was with your mother, Ally.”
Ally felt a sudden, unexpected lurch in her stomach, like she was in an elevator that had stalled. “Look, to be honest, this is not the best time, and you’re not the best person, to be trying to talk me into a relationship.”
“Why?” Meg felt affronted.
“You had the strongest marriage I’ve ever known,” Ally tried to explain. “And now look at it.”
Meg sighed, thinking. “Still, I wouldn’t give up what I’ve had with Chris for all these years to save myself the pain I’m feeling now.”
Ally looked at her sideways. “Well, you’re a stronger person than I am, Meg.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you understand, Ally? Chris has seen me at my worst. Having a baby, sick with the flu, too many ‘mornings after.’ He’s put up with me screaming at him like a banshee, being completely unreasonable at times. He knew everything there was to know about me, and he still loved me. I don’t think you can ask for more than that.”
Ally knew you couldn’t, but still it wasn’t enough. “And the first sign of something wrong, he just walked out on you. Without even hearing your side.”
“He’s hurting at the moment.”
“Bloody men and their bloody football-field-sized egos.”
“Chris had every reason for walking out on me. I cheated on him…”
“No you didn’t.”
“I did.”
“But you said nothing happened in the end.”
“If adultery is some imaginary line in the sand, well I stood on it, and then stepped back. But I shouldn’t have been on the beach in the first place.”
Ally looked at her.
“I have to take the responsibility for what happened. It’s not his fault. I’ve caused him a lot of pain, and I have to give him time to get over it.”
“Do you think he will?”
“Oh, I hope so Ally. With all my heart, I do.”
Friday evening
“What I’m trying to say,” Alistair Longford paused for effect, “is simply that this country has no cultural heritage. It’s not a criticism, Nicola, merely an observation.”
Ally thought that the top of Nic’s head was going to explode right off.
“How can you say that?” she exclaimed. “You really know nothing about Australia, Father, or you wouldn’t make such patently indefensible assertions.”
Something had happened to Nic’s vocabulary since her family arrived. And there was a little plum in her mouth as well.
Nic’s father was the kind of person who made it easy to understand why the Scots and the Irish hated the English. He spoke about the Thatcher years fondly, and he kept referring to Australia as “the colony.”
Her mother looked permanently dazed, and just said, “Yes dear, quite so,” a lot.
“Is your mother on drugs?” Ally whispered to Nic, when they moved from the lounge into the private dining room for dinner.
“No, she’s always been like that.”
There was one son, the youngest child, and the heir apparent to his father’s arrogance. At twenty years of age, Crispin Longford had a sneer permanently fixed on his lip, and an expression that suggested he could smell something bad, all the time.
Deidre was all that Nic had described. The first words she uttered to Ally were, “But you’re huge, how will we all look together?” Deidre and Sally were as tiny as Nic, and Ally did feel tall standing near them. But at five foot six, she felt the word “huge” was an overstatement.
Sally was relatively harmless, though the most intelligent comment she’d made all evening was to declare her discovery that “Ally and Sally rhyme!” followed by an excited giggle.
Matt caught Ally’s eye and smiled. He looked particularly handsome tonight, wearing a dark jacket over a crisp white shirt. She’d never seen him so dressed up. But it wasn’t just that. Ally had felt a sense of relief when Matt had arrived earlier. It was comforting to know he would be there through the evening. She had got used to having him around, she realized. And she just realized she was staring at him.
What was the matter with her? She sipped her wine, looking around the table self-consciously to see if anyone was watching. Nic was insisting that Australia was not a colony just because the people had voted against becoming a republic, but her father wouldn’t have it.
“I said as much to your mother, didn’t I, Primrose?”
“Yes dear, quite so.”
Ally glanced furtively again at Matt. This whole drama with Meg had left her emotionally raw. She’d started to think about him again, replaying that damned episode at Circle’s End over and over in her mind. Wondering where they’d be now if she hadn’t stopped him.
“What do you think, Ally?”
Nic was staring at her, appealing for support, and Ally didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. Was it still the republic?
“I think,” she said, glancing quickly around the table, “that we seem to be out of wine!” She jumped up. “I’ll go and round up a couple more bottles, shall I?”
“Champion idea, I won’t argue with that!” Alistair chortled. “One thing you colonists have learned is how to make a jolly good wine.”
“Let me help,” said Matt, standing up.
Once they were safely behind the bar, they both breathed a sigh of relief.
“I think I’d rather be having teeth pulled,” said Matt.
Ally smiled. “I don’t know, I’m finding it all a bit amusing.”
“You seemed a million miles away in there just then,” Matt said quietly. “Maybe a little sad?”
She looked at him sideways, but he wasn’t teasing her.
“It’s just my friend Meg,” Ally explained, opening the fridge and scanning the labels on the wine bottles. “Her husband left her.”
“Oh?” Matt reached up to the wine rack for a bottle of red.
“She was seeing someone, but she put an end to it. He left her anyway.”
He pushed a corkscrew into the bottle, saying nothing.
“It’s hard to believe their marriage is falling apart. I thought they’d be together forever. They had everything going for them.”
Matt pulled the cork out of the bottle, and Ally handed him the white she had chosen from the fridge. She watched him, folding her arms. “Why did you leave your wife?”
The bottle slipped sideways as Matt went to insert the corkscrew. “What?”
“I asked you why you left your wife?”
He looked uncomfortable. “I told you, we weren’t getting on—”
“I don’t buy it,” said Ally bluntly.
Matt stared at her, obviously stunned. Ally took the bottle from him and started twisting the corkscrew.
“You’re not the kind of person who’d just take off like that, without a very good reason.”
Now he looked embarrassed. God, maybe he was that kind of person.
“I’m sorry, it’s none of my business—”
“There was someone else,” he said abruptly.
“You had an affair?” Ally’s voice was faint.
“No, it was Sharyn.” He sighed, leaning back against the bar. He didn’t make eye contact with her. “I found her, um, I found them together one day.”
“Oh, sorry.” The cork popped quietly as she removed it from the bottle. That would be devastating, surely, to actually see your wife with someone else?
“You know, Meg’s husband would be feeling pretty shithouse at the moment. Excuse the expression.”
There was hurt in his eyes even now, Ally realized. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
He shrugged. “It doesn�
�t matter, it was a long time ago.”
“I’ve just been in a strange place lately,” she tried to explain. “Between one marriage that’s falling apart, and another that’s just beginning … it’s hard to know what to believe in.”
They looked at each other for a moment. Ally realized she hadn’t taken a breath. She wasn’t sure what to say next.
“Don’t worry about Rob and Nic.” Matt smiled, breaking the silence. “He’s still prepared to marry her, despite the in-laws.”
Ally returned the smile. The subject was dropped, the awkward moment over. “Listen, I don’t know that his family’s much better. His brothers called this afternoon. You won’t believe what they’re bringing with them.”
“What?”
“A television set.”
“What?”
“It’s true. They wanted to make sure there was somewhere they could set it up in the restaurant. They’re not about to miss that football game.”
“You’re not serious?”
Ally nodded. “Rob found an aerial connection in the private dining room.”
“What did Nic have to say about that?”
“She doesn’t know about it.”
“You’re kidding?”
“It’s better that way. Poor Rob, I don’t know who intimidates him more—Nic or his brothers. So it will be our little secret, along with Johnno, Blue and ‘Muncher.’”
“Muncher? How did he get that name?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. He’s my partner for the wedding.”
They broke into laughter. Ally handed him the bottle and picked up the other from the counter. They turned and walked around the bar.
“Save me a dance?” said Matt.
“Pardon?”
“Save me a dance, at the wedding.”
She turned to face him. They were just outside the door to the private dining room.
“Sure, I’ll be the ‘huge’ one in the orange dress!”
Matt smiled as the door burst open.
“Oh!” It was Nic. “Come on, you two, people are dying of thirst in here. And,” she added in a whisper, “I’m just dying!”
Watsons Bay
Meg walked up the hall to answer the door. She knew it would be Chris, and it tore at her heart that he was knocking on his own door. She fixed a smile on her face and opened it.
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