Allegra's Shadow

by Dana Sanders Hill

  “I-I’m sorry. It’s just… you’re different.”

  “I’ve been waiting for you so long and now that we’re here…” His deep voice was edged with control. “You know I love you.” He insinuated his stronger leg between hers.

  In the back of Mariah’s mind, his words seemed watery and hollow, used so much by shallow men, but her brain was in tumult. So she followed her heart…

  “It slowly dawned on me how shallow and egocentric Terry really was; how cunningly vicious he could be. When he wasn’t trying to mold me, he ignored me.” She lowered full lashes, helpless to halt her indignity, but she continued anyway. “If it had been Terry with me at the restaurant that day, he would’ve flirted back with that waitress, even taken her number in front of my face. He’d done that before and explained it away by saying that he didn’t want to hurt the poor girl’s feelings, and that he’d throw it away later.”

  “How long were you married?”

  Mariah’s lashes lifted. “Nineteen months, three weeks and five days. The problems got worse when I started working at the college as an adjunct professor. Terry didn’t express his dislike for my career until after we married, and he became increasingly jealous of my work and my hours and wanted me home before him. Months into the marriage, his behavior changed. He became erratic, paranoid, up all times of the night. He accused me of things, from cheating to moving his wallet and he constantly peeked through blinds. I suspected he was cheating, and even though I refused to sleep with him, I was willing to work on our relationship. I finally learned why he was so…erratic. I never expected to come home early one night to find him sniffing coke in our bathroom.”

  A cold shiver spread over her as she recalled the sight of Terry snorting white powder through a straw. “He didn’t know I’d seen him and I acted like everything was normal, but I knew there was no going back after that. So I packed up my most important possessions the next morning while he was at work and moved back in with Mom, and I’ve been there ever since.”

  She paused a moment before continuing. “The divorce was acrimonious on his part, and all I wanted was half of the sale of the condo, which I got. Shortly before I filed for divorce, he left a message on my cell, calling me a flat-chested, freaky-eyed witch with a capital B, and said that I should’ve been grateful he married me because nobody else would have.”

  Anthony’s lips narrowed. “Where is he now?”

  “I don’t know.” She looked away from his compassionate gaze and took in a fortifying breath before she continued. “Hearing him say those things…it really hit home that he never loved me, that I was just something he wanted to win, and once he’d done that…in my heart I think I always knew he wasn’t genuine. I guess that’s why I opened a secret bank account when we married and sent all the bank statements to Mom. After he called, I started reflecting on our relationship, the sly remarks disguised as jokes that undermined my confidence, his casual disregard of me, the nights he came home late with a flimsy excuse, how he treated me in bed….”

  Anthony’s brows snapped together.

  “He wasn’t much for foreplay,” Mariah explained, “and when I didn’t do certain things in bed, he found other women who would.” She shook her head, the motion full of regret and irony. “I spent most of my life avoiding men like my father, only to marry and give my virginity to one. When Allegra heard what happened, she flew up to Hackensack with Gran D.”

  Anthony’s brows levered upward. “That’s why she came up to see you. Kevin said so, but he didn’t know why.”

  Mariah nodded. “It was one of the few times she actually tried to comfort me.”

  One of Anthony’s brows climbed high. “Allegra?”

  “She showed concern sometimes.”

  Anthony smoothed her hair.

  Mariah averted her face. “Sleeping with Terry…. after a while, I felt like a whore, and I haven’t been with a man since I left him. I don’t like the dating game and I’ve had bad luck with sex.” She shrugged. “There just didn’t seem to be any point.”

  Anthony put his hand under her chin, turning her toward him. “Mariah St. Cloud.” His eyes drank her up and he captured her mouth in a swift, hard kiss. “Your luck’s about to change. If it makes you feel better,” Anthony set her away from him and stood, unfastening the button at his chest, “I’ll go first.”

  Mariah sat up and stared at his fingers as they pushed buttons through the holes until the last one came undone. When he pushed the edges of his cloth shirt apart — exposing that mouth-watering, caramel chest — and slid the material down and off his arms to the floor, Mariah finally found her voice. “It’s not the same thing,” she answered over her choking, beating heart.

  Anthony’s eyes had a sheen of purpose as his hands moved to Mariah’s arms, which still covered her bra. Her breath caught and she couldn’t control a flinch as he pressed her back onto the bed. Even when his warm fingers gently, but firmly, grasped Mariah’s wrists and drew them away, holding them beside her head, her first response was to squirm. His eyes never left Mariah’s, and that sand-and-cinders voice settled around her. “There’s only you and me here.” His hands sought the clasp of her bra. “No judgment, no ridicule.”

  The backs of his fingers brushed against her skin and she felt the electricity of his touch. Feeling helpless to resist, Mariah’s fists bunched. When Anthony pushed aside the lacy cups of her bra, exposing her nipples to the cool air, Mariah swallowed hard and slammed her eyes shut.

  Anthony fondled one small globe. Mariah’s eyes flew open and she inhaled at the contact, arching her back. Her fists unclenched and reached out to clutch his shoulders when his lips touched her with tantalizing possessiveness.

  He raised his head. “You okay?”

  Her cheeks warmed under the heat of his brilliant stare. “Yes. I’m not used to…being touched…there.”

  Anthony’s eyes darkened with emotion. Then he inclined his head and his lips parted hers in a soul-reaching massage. Mariah raised herself to meet his kiss, her hands sliding around his neck.

  As Anthony’s mouth sent the pit of her stomach into a wild swirl, his hands slid down her stomach to the swell of her hips, then across to the button of her jeans. Shivers of delight followed his touch and Mariah didn’t protest when his hands opened the button and pulled the zipper down. Raising his mouth from hers, he pulled away and grasped the waistband of her jeans. Mariah’s mind told her to resist, but her body wouldn’t let her. Biting her lip, she lifted her hips, allowing him to undress her as he slid the pants down her thighs, her calves. He took off her wedges and pulled the jeans over her ankles and feet, until all that remained were her panties. His eyes drank her up, caressing her softness, bathing her in appreciation.

  And a part of Mariah reveled in his open admiration.

  Anthony stood up and took off his shoes and socks, letting them fall where they may. Light dappled his powerful shoulders, and his eyes stayed with hers while his hands moved to the zipper of his pants. He opened them, pushing them down his strong, hair-roughened thighs to the floor, kicking them away to reveal form-fitting boxers that outlined his taut buttocks and rigid masculinity. Strong fingers delved into the waistband of his boxers, removing them to join his trousers.

  Anthony came close, looking down on her, his chest heaving. Gently, he lowered himself onto the bed next to her, propping himself up on one elbow, while his hand slid across her silken belly. His eyes searched Mariah’s features, reaching into her thoughts.

  Mariah studied his lean, caramel face, caressed the two crescent scars. For so long, she’d been unable to let her guard down with any man, but she could no longer deny herself Anthony’s touch. She traced her fingertip across his bottom lip.

  Anthony’s tormented groan was a stirring invitation. He crushed her to him, his tongue exploring the recesses of her mouth, sending shivers of desire racing through her and his body moved, partially covering hers.

  When his lips grazed Mariah’s earlobe, she couldn
’t control an outcry of enjoyment. Her body writhed beneath him and she caressed the strong tendons in the back of his neck as he made a path down her throat with open mouth kisses.

  She breathed in soul drenching drafts as the touch of his lips on her mouth and along her body set her aflame, and didn’t protest when his hands sought the band of her panties, skimming them off her buttocks, down her legs.

  His tongue made a burning path down her ribs to her stomach while his fingers explored the soft lines of her breasts, her waist, her hips and thighs. When his warm hand cupped Mariah’s moist core, her breath quickened and she arched toward him, her eager hands touching his rock-hard shoulders.

  Anthony whispered something, his breath hot against her ear, but Mariah couldn’t make out the words, her senses too distorted with rapture as his fingers circled the hood of her cleft. Then he withdrew and Mariah’s eyes snapped open when his hands slid under her hips. Disoriented, Mariah rose up on her elbows. Her eyes grew large and liquid and her stomach clenched tight when she saw Anthony’s broad shoulders between her thighs.

  No. She couldn’t let him…

  Anthony hooked her legs over powerful forearms, clamping his large hands around her thighs to prevent her from backing away, his golden yellow-brown eyes iridescent and riveted on her face. “Do me a favor,” he insisted. “Don’t hold back. Scream as loud as you want.”

  “I-I don’t scream.”

  Anthony said nothing. He just bent his head, and Mariah’s world burst in flashes of light.

  “Oh, wow,” she uttered in wondrous bliss and fell back onto the bed, her eyes rolling back in her head as she gripped the covers like a lifeline with trembling fingers.

  Anthony chuckled against her. Strong hands held Mariah fast as she twisted and bowed, her breasts, misting with sweat, elevated and descended with heavy breaths.

  A fine shaking in Mariah’s thighs signaled the onset of her release. Her head fell back and a wail escaped her as she hurtled over the precipice. As her spasms subsided, Anthony planted a kiss to the inside of both her thighs. Then he rose over Mariah’s damp, relaxed form.

  “That’s one,” he murmured before moving away. He opened the drawer of his nightstand, withdrew a condom and rolled it on.

  Mariah’s sensual haze hadn’t fully cleared when she felt herself being lifted. Her mind reeled in confusion as Anthony draped her on top of him, bare breasts to male chest, her hands on his shoulders, her thighs on either side of his hips, his hardness against her heat. Large hands caressed the line of her spine, stopped at curve of her buttocks and squeezed, claiming her, leaving a trail of fire before returning to cradle her face.

  Anthony drew her lips down to his, his tongue tracing their soft fullness before diving inside her mouth while he eased his hips upward an inch or two. A deep-chested groan escaped him as Mariah’s warmth surrounded him and she froze, unaccustomed to the carnal intrusion.

  Anthony waited, the lines of concentration deepening along his brow and under his eyes. They clung to hers, the pupils dilated until only a ring of amber remained. His lips skimmed against hers. “Alright?” His voice was gruff, thick.

  Mariah’s internal muscles relaxed and she wanted more of him. “Yes,” she breathed.

  “That’s what I want.” Hands encircling her hips, Anthony lifted and seated himself higher, wringing out a cry of fulfillment from both of them. Then he shifted them to cup her behind, and began to move.

  And then he talked.

  For a man who didn’t speak much, he had plenty to say. He told Mariah that he would drive her crazy, what he would do to her, how often, how long, that she would enjoy every minute of it, and that she wouldn’t want him to stop.

  A flame unfurled within as he guided her. Lips parted, eyes half-closed, Mariah straightened, placing her hands on his chest for balance, driving him deeper.

  Perspiration dotted Anthony’s brow as they moved as one, straining toward the same goal. One hand swept from her backside to the heart of her. He angled his thumb downward, applying light pressure when he found what he was searching for.

  Mariah gasped in sweet agony. Her fingers curled into his chest, and that one sound sent Anthony’s ardor into overdrive. His thrusts became more intense as they found the tempo that bound their bodies together, until Mariah’s involuntary tremors of arousal took over. Her breath came in surrendering sobs and she shattered into a million glowing stars.

  The sight of Mariah succumbing to the waves of rapture, and knowing he was the cause, fired Anthony up.

  He wanted her to do it again. Right now.

  When Mariah drifted back to Earth she found herself on her back, still joined with Anthony as her hips embraced his. He supported his weight on his elbows, and his eyes, still black as diamonds, roved over her features. “That’s two,” he rasped. His hips flexed forward, then back.

  An arrow of pleasure darted from her breasts to down below. The underlying sensuality of his words hypnotized Mariah even as she blinked with bafflement, disbelief, and arousal. Why was he counting? How was she ready for him again so soon? Her trembling limbs clung to him. “Huh?”

  He held her eyes with his, framing her face within big, capable hands. “What do you want, Mariah?” he wanted to know, that deep, voice simmering with barely-checked passion… and something else that defied explanation. “Tell me, and I’ll do it.”

  Mariah’s eyes expanded. “W-what about…you?”

  He tunneled his fingers into her hair. “Don’t worry about me,” he reassured her, smothering his last words on her lips. Mariah’s eyelids fluttered and her arms tightened around his neck. When he sank into her, his hips mimicking the movement of his tongue, her senses reeled as if short-circuited.

  His back was slick with sweat and drops beaded on his forehead, trickling down the sides of his face. Releasing her lips, Anthony lifted and transferred his weight to his hands, loosening Mariah’s arms from around his neck. When he shifted the angle of his movements, she rose to meet him in a moment of uncontrolled hunger. Her hands traveled down his chest, his waist, then reached around to grasp his buttocks.

  “Lift your legs,” he said, his voice a dark rumble in his chest. Mariah raised her legs, sharpening Anthony’s sensitivity, and hers.

  When his strong thumb lightly stroked Mariah’s sweet spot, a harsh cry swiftly sprang from her lips, the pleasure so pure and explosive she nearly passed out.

  Anthony growled, his hips churning faster. He reared back, the tendons of his neck prominent under the skin as groans of immense gratification filled the air, and his body convulsed fiercely before he collapsed over Mariah.

  #

  Anthony’s face rested in the pillow between Mariah’s neck and shoulder. “That’s three,” he stated, his voice stifled by the cushion.

  Mariah, feeling like a wet string, finally opened her eyes and shifted her head. Though Anthony’s arms imprisoned her, his elbows supported most of his weight. Her hands trailed up and down his moist back. “Why are you counting?”

  “To see how many times I can send you over the edge,” he replied, his voice still muffled.

  Her hands stopped moving, resting between his shoulder blades. “So you’re bragging?”

  “Uh huh,” he affirmed, his voice muffled. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

  Profound satisfaction made her smile, and her hands started moving up and down his spine again “Yes,” she admitted.

  “I could tell. You screamed, more than once,” Anthony said into the pillow, “and you’re a butt grabber.”

  Mariah’s hands froze on the small of his back, and she was able to control a gasp, the sound a mixture of self-consciousness and incredulity. “What? I am n –”

  The pillow still muted his words. “Butt. Grabber. Own it.”

  Though shocked by Anthony’s revelation — and herself — Mariah felt a warm glow flow through her. Terry was wrong; she wasn’t a cold fish in bed. Being with Anthony proved it.

  Anthony finally raised his hea
d. A strong, gentle thumb caressed her lips as he stared into her eyes, and Mariah’s heart skipped a few beats as he searched her face, the expression in his gaze full of determination…and something else she couldn’t define.

  Then his lids lowered, and the moment vanished. “You alright?”

  She was tender, but not overly so. “I’m fine.”

  He bent his head, pressing his lips to hers before rolling off the bed. Goosebumps emerged on Mariah’s arms as cool air floated over her damp skin, and she scooted under the sheet. Her eyes followed him to the bathroom, the muscles of his buttocks flexing and bunching with each step, and a knot rose in her throat.

  A few minutes later Anthony joined her on the bed. He eased the sheet down to her belly, then dipped his head to kiss each breast. “How did you manage to stay a virgin until marriage?” he whispered against her skin.

  Her cheeks warmed even as her body tipped toward him. “I-I just…”

  His wolf eyes met her dual-colored ones. “What?”

  “I heard boys talk about sex,” she admitted. “In high school there was a girl, Laura. She wasn’t pretty, but she had large breasts. She also had a clubbed foot. One day after school, I overhead a boy talking to his friend about how he’d finally got her in bed. He made fun of her foot, said her breasts were the only nice thing about her, and that he’d sleep with any girl who gave it up. She didn’t have to be pretty. That’s when I knew that most men will have sex with any female, just because she’s available. I thought if they could talk about her in such a horrible way, what would they say about me? Between my eyes and the fact that I have small breasts…I couldn’t handle the humiliation. Besides, most of those boys didn’t even want to talk to me, unless it had to do with schoolwork or they were trying to get to Allegra, so whenever one did approach me, I got suspicious.”

  Anthony studied Mariah for a moment. “I would’ve talked to you, and not just to get tutoring.” His finger traced the line of her cheek and jaw.

  “You would’ve been considered too cool and handsome to talk to me,” she said, even as her flesh prickled at his touch. But a trace of hurt underscored her words.