Only Once: A Single Parent- Hollywood Romance

by Ashley Munoz

  “Don’t,” he whispered.

  He discarded his shirt and jeans in the blink of an eye, and my mouth went dry as this perfect man stood in front of me. Tattoos he hadn’t had before told story after story along the expanse of his chest, his ribs, and his arms. On instinct, I reached out to trace them. He guided my hand to the tattoo over his heart.

  Sitting up and crawling closer, I inspected the dark ink I’d dismissed each time I saw him bare-chested. A gasp shuddered past my lips as I saw what was stamped there.

  “You tattooed my name over your heart?” Wrapped in thick thorns and vines, each letter was nearly swallowed in the pain represented there in the image of a deadly plant. It wasn’t as vibrant as some of the others, more muted, which made me curious as to when he’d gotten it done.

  “The year after you left,” he said, as if he could hear my unspoken question. Holding my hand to his chest, he closed his eyes. “When you said you came back after that first year…and you saw me…”

  “Ryan, you don’t have to explain.” I shook my head, trying to show that I understood.

  “You need to know.” He tightened his hand over mine. “The guys were so exhausted from me pining after you, so they gave me an ultimatum. They were going to band together to ask Coach to bench me until I had a psych eval, unless I proved to them that I could move on.”

  “Their test was you kissing another girl?” I asked, already knowing that was what had happened.

  He nodded, carefully opening his eyes to watch me.

  That was a terrible display of friendship, but from what I remembered of the players, football was set above all else, especially when their captain carried the team. So, if he wasn’t mentally stable, I could imagine how the rest were doing. I could slightly understand their desperation.

  “I never moved on, Bex. It was like you just kept going with me, everything new I did…every place I moved. It’s like I’ve been numb, waiting for you to come back into my life.”

  A stinging sensation burned at the back of my throat as my heart hummed in agreement. Old patterns of protecting my heart had me wanting to keep quiet about my pining, about the shore I’d been deserted on, waiting for him to come back and rescue me.

  Heaving a pained sigh, I licked my lips and ducked my head.

  “Shay is worried about this…us.” I waved my free hand between us. “She’s worried because…” I hesitated, feeling as though I was about to jump off a cliff by confessing this. “Because I’m still in love with you…she knows I haven’t stopped, and she’s worried you’ll hurt me.” I swallowed the swelling that had formed in my throat as silence pulsed in the room with both our confessions.

  A soft kiss landed on my hairline as Ryan’s hands came to my face, supporting my jaw.

  “Let me fix us, Bex,” he whispered, feather light against my temple.

  Tipping my head back, he slammed his lips against mine, moving in a slow but heavy rhythm, one that spoke of hushed prayers, silent tears cried in the dark, and tortured secrets. We’d clung to a love we both should have likely let go of, and now it was like this painful tether neither of us could undo or understand.

  Leaning forward, I pushed down the waistband of his boxers and leaned back, inviting him to follow me.

  Gentleness and reverence followed every place his fingers touched, and when he wrapped his hard length in a condom and sank into my heat, I could feel fresh tears begin.

  “Fix us, Ryan. Make us whole,” I said against his ear as he let out a groan.

  He pulled out, lifting himself over me, his gaze taking in where we connected the entire time. It was a haunted look, like he’d just recovered something precious that had been lost. When he thrust forward, crashing into me with lust and desperation, I clung to his back while a moan sailed past my lips.

  “More,” I urged. He moved faster, in and out, connecting us only to break us apart.

  We moved against each other until we were both groaning our release into each other’s shoulders.

  Sweaty and sated, our chests heaved while we watched one another. His lazy smile warmed me like the summer sun over the lake we’d camped by the weekend before. I decided to curl into the sensation and let it take hold of me. Once he cleaned up in my bathroom and turned out the light, he climbed in behind me and pulled me against his chest.

  Right before I fell asleep, I heard him whisper, “I love you, Bex. I never stopped.”

  24

  The sun crept into Bexley’s bedroom at dawn, and just like I had the previous time, I watched her sleep. Her arm was lifted above her head, her hair partly obstructing her face, and her tan skin was all smooth and perfect. The white sheet was wrapped around her, hiding her breasts, but her calf was exposed, along with her pink toes. I thought of Bexley’s sketches, how she used to draw such perfect lines on stark white sheets of paper, transforming the blank space into something brilliant. I was always surprised how talented she was, enough to be featured in galleries if she wanted.

  I traced a few freckles on her shoulder, not wanting to disturb her, but I couldn’t resist touching her. Something grew in my chest, like a balloon expanding ever so slowly. I loved Bexley. I’d always loved Bex…but this, this was different. It felt bigger, fuller…more dangerous.

  A commotion outside the door had me shifting away from Bexley and putting on my boxers and jeans. Pulling the door open then shut behind me, I walked toward the kitchen, finding Cole and Bella digging through the fridge.

  Cracking a smile, I snuck up behind them, ducking down until I was close to their heights.

  “What are we looking for?” I whispered next to their faces.

  “Wyan!” Bella yelled, while Cole snapped, “Hey.”

  I tried not to laugh. Bella’s countenance was reserved and jovial, but Cole’s was irritated.

  “Hey, sorry bud.” I tried to soothe him, remembering what Bex had said about his reaction to the fans the night before.

  “It’s fine. What are you even doing here?” he quipped, turning away.

  “You lost your shirt,” Bella added, grabbing for the cereal she wanted to eat.

  My face actually heated as I realized how bad of an idea this was. Shit. I hadn’t even talked to Bexley about whether or not she wanted the kids to know we were seeing each other.

  “I…I came over to…” I tried, but I didn’t know what to say.

  Bexley cut in, pulling her hair up in a bun. “Ryan came over to help me fix something, and he got his shirt dirty.”

  I noticed she’d grabbed the oversized t-shirt and sweats from the night prior. I made a mental note to ask about that shirt; I didn’t want her sleeping in Logan’s old shirts. I knew that was probably a line I didn’t have a right to cross, but after what we’d just shared, there were going to be no more lines between us.

  Giving her a grateful smile, I returned my attention to the dark-haired boy in front of me.

  “Um…hey, Cole, do you think we can talk?” I walked toward him with the milk I knew he’d need for his cereal.

  “About what?” His eyes wouldn’t rise to meet mine.

  “Well, the situation from last night…” I leaned my arms on the counter, pouring myself a bowl of Captain Crunch. “I know it was rude of me to talk to those fans while I was with you guys. As I told your mom last night, I—”

  “Last night?” Cole lifted his face, bunching his eyebrows together as he looked from me to his mom.

  Bexley’s eyes went wide as what I had made it look like registered.

  “Did you sleep over last night?” Cole swung his face from me to his mom.

  “No…I…” I tried, but Bexley was already talking.

  “Would that bother you?” She stepped closer, pulling Bella’s hair into a low ponytail.

  “I don’t know…I guess not.” Cole lifted a shoulder and dug back into his bowl.

  “Anyway, about those fans…I explained to your mom that I was trying to protect you guys from ending up on the internet or the news. Sometim
es people take pictures and make up all kinds of stories that aren’t true. You’re going back to school really soon, and I wouldn’t want to mess with your reputation or anything.”

  “I’m not worried about what people think of me.” He stated it plain and simple, finishing off his cereal, which meant my time was up.

  “Right…well, it won’t be happening anymore. Your mom and I talked about our plans, and…” I looked up again, trying to see if she was ready to talk about this. I wasn’t going to not kiss this woman in front of them—it wouldn’t even be possible—so I needed to figure out what we were going to say to them.

  “Plans?” Cole asked, tilting his head.

  I blinked, looking to Bexley for help, but she only shook her head in amusement. I didn’t see caution in her gaze or anything to suggest I shouldn’t go forward, which made me feel…amazing. On fire. Understood and backed up in a way I hadn’t felt in my entire life.

  “I love your mom,” I blurted out like an idiot. Shit.

  “You wuv her?” Bella lisped, making my mouth twitch in a smile. “He’s still your prince, Momma,” she whispered to her mother, not so quietly.

  Bexley smiled, smoothing down her daughter’s hair. “And I love him back.”

  She stared at me with a brazen, bold gaze that spoke a thousand words, soothing and apologetic words about leaving me ten years earlier, about ending us without giving me a say in it. I knew she was sorry; I also allowed the realization that she’d never moved on to settle into my gut. It was time to put the past away and move on.

  “We know it seems fast, and I apologize for that, but I’ve known your mom for a really long time…in fact, I loved her a long time ago and never stopped. We were just apart for a long time, and now we’ve found each other again.” I tried to explain it through choppy breaths and awkward pauses.

  How did one explain the gravity of this situation to a child?

  “You told me you liked her at the lake, so I had an idea,” Cole muttered, finishing off the last of his cereal.

  “Look, buddy…I’m sorry I upset you yesterday. I was trying to protect you guys and it came out in a strange way, but I won’t ever do that again.” No, I’d be sure our outings were managed better, more safely. I didn’t care how big of a deal people made about it; I’d be sure no one made it within twenty feet of us.

  “I know.” Cole let out a heavy sigh, too heavy for his eight-year-old self to have inside.

  “Can you forgive me?” Please say yes.

  “It depends…are you leaving once your vacation is over?” He tilted his head to the side, narrowing his gaze. Damn this kid was perceptive. I supposed after what they’d been through, I didn’t blame him.

  Heaving a sigh, I carefully kept my eyes off Bexley as I answered as honestly as I could.

  “I don’t know what the future holds, but I don’t plan on leaving you guys once the summer is over. I’d like to have you come visit me in Portland…I don’t know how we are going to work it all out, but we will.”

  “Okay, I forgive you. Just…please don’t make my mommy cry at all.”

  I nodded my agreement, feeling a thick lump of remorse rise in my throat. These kids had already been through so much, and Cole’s protectiveness of his mom clearly pointed to her not having been treated well by Logan. I ached for the little guy. My father adored my mother. Growing up, I never had to feel protective of her, but if I had to, I could imagine how hard that would be.

  Bella walked into my arms a moment later, hugging me tight. “I’m happy about Mommy getting her prince back.”

  “Me too, baby girl.” I looked up, making eye contact with Bexley. “Me too.”

  “What is Dad going to think?” Cole suddenly asked the room, looking at his mother pensively.

  I really didn’t want to make more out of this than I needed to, but it fucking hit like a sledgehammer to the ball sack to be reminded that Bella and Cole had a dad…that Bexley had someone she’d practically built a life with. I would never admit it out loud, but I was insecure as hell where that guy was concerned.

  “What do you mean?” Bexley narrowed her eyes on her son.

  “I remember him getting really mad about…” He looked over at me and lifted his shoulder. “You-know-who a few times, yelling at you that you broke his heart…don’t you think this will make him mad?”

  The urge to laugh itched in my throat; this kid was too much. Unfortunately, it sucked a million percent that he had to worry about that at all. My sentiments regarding Logan as an asshole only grew.

  “Cole, that’s not something you ever have to worry about. Do you understand me?” Bexley leaned close to her son’s frame, gently gripping his shoulders. “That is an issue your dad has and has overcome by being with Dana…he’s all better now, and I think this news will only make him happy. But even if it doesn’t, that’s never ever something you need to think about. Okay?” She pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head and ruffled his hair.

  I wanted to kiss her. Now that the kids knew about us, I knew I probably could, but I figured it would be a good idea to ease them into it.

  Her blue eyes met mine…she wanted it too, but her eyes flitting back to the kids told me we needed to wait a bit. I would wait. I would do anything for them.

  My chest tightened with the realization.

  Bexley had been in my heart for as long as I could remember, and had always been a part of me no matter what I was doing, but Bella and Cole…it was as if they’d just appeared being equally as important.

  “Bex, you have the next two days off, right?”

  “Yeah…” She cast a curious glance at me then at her kids.

  “I want to take you guys somewhere.” I smiled wide as I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. “It’s a surprise.”

  “There are so many trees!” Cole was in awe as his nose pressed against the living room window. To his left was an eighty-inch flat screen, fitted above an entire wall of exposed brick with an open gas fireplace near the bottom.

  “Yeah, and they stay green and lush year-round because of all the rain.” I bent down and pointed at the foliage in my backyard. My home was out in the woods, miles away from the city and any traffic that might accidently find its way out here.

  “This is gorgeous.” Bexley sighed contentedly while tipping her head back.

  I watched how her bare feet silently padded across my floors, her deep purple toenails a stained perfection against her sun-kissed skin. Her legs were toned and long under the frayed jean shorts at her waist, and with her baggy black t-shirt with some band name across it, she wasn’t even in the same league in comparison when it came to the beauty of this house. I’d burn it all to the ground if it meant I could have her and the kids forever.

  The squeezing in my chest warned me I was getting too attached; it told me I needed to slow down and be cautious, but hell if I hadn’t already packaged them all in my head into this perfect image of Christmas mornings spent together around the fire, opening presents in our pajamas.

  The sound of Bexley’s phone softly ringing brought me out of my thoughts. I could feel my brows dip in worry as she pulled her phone up, only to silence it. She’d done that at least a dozen times since we left her house. During the trip here, she’d received several texts and calls too, all of which went ignored.

  “Everything okay?” I asked, walking over and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

  She melted into my side, like it was the only place on earth she wanted to be.

  “Yeah, just taking in the view. This place is amazing.” Her pink lips split apart, showcasing that brilliant smile. I wanted to press her about the call, but I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I’d been dodging my own set of phone calls with my agent and producer calling every other day wanting to talk about this bullshit visit they wanted to set up with Shelly Cambria.

  “How many bedrooms does this place have?” Bexley asked, walking out of my embrace to trail her finger along the walnut butcher blo
ck countertop I’d had custom made. Those fingers danced along the edge of the kitchen until hitting the massive farmhouse-style sink. The island in the middle was quartz with the stove range built in, facing the open layout of the living room. I was proud of this place, having designed it with a close friend of mine, and now seeing Bexley looking on in appreciation had me feeling prideful as hell.

  “It has five bedrooms. Well, technically four—the fifth I had converted into a massive office with built-in shelving, and I removed the closet.”

  “I need to see them—I need to see all of it.” She tugged on my hand as the kids caught up to us.

  25

  “Shhhh, they’ll hear you.” Bexley put her hand over my mouth while her own cheeks billowed from holding in a laugh.

  “You’re the one who’s going to give away our hiding spot,” I whispered, pulling her hand away.

  We quietly giggled while peeking out from the maintenance closet on the top floor. It had been set up for my housekeeper; she was tired of bringing her own equipment and she wasn’t reaching under the kitchen sink for all the supplies either, so I created this space just for her. Laminate floor with shelving, a space for the broom and mop—everything she’d need was in here.

  The door was barely cracked so we could keep an eye on the hallway; otherwise it was pitch black in the closet, which for me made it tempting to do all sorts of things to the woman locked in there with me.

  On instinct, I ran my hand up underneath Bexley’s tank top, feeling her silky soft skin.

  “You’re not being fair,” she whispered, pushing into my touch.

  I walked up behind her until I was flush with her body. Dipping my head, I whispered in her ear, “Watch the hallway.”

  Reaching around her frame, I tucked my hands into the pockets of her jean shorts, pulling her fully into my chest while I slowly kissed along her shoulder. Releasing one hand, I moved her hair and kissed along the side of her neck, closing my eyes as I got lost in the taste of her skin.