Only Once: A Single Parent- Hollywood Romance

by Ashley Munoz

  “Shay—” I started, but she interrupted me with a smile and a quick twirl.

  “Well, I’m off to work. You kids have fun tonight.” She gave me a look that said we weren’t done with this conversation then kissed each of the kids on the forehead before leaving the room.

  Cole and Bella headed outside to finish off their ice cream cones while I started dinner. Frustration burned in my chest as I hoped and prayed Ryan hadn’t caught on to Shay’s attitude.

  Firm hands on my hips stilled my actions at the sink. Ryan turned me until I was flush with his chest, staring up into his eyes.

  “You okay?” He ran a finger along my neck, carefully pushing my hair off my shoulder.

  “I am. Shay’s just…” I started, but I was unable to think of exactly what I wanted to say. Thinning my lips, I tried again. “She’s just worried about me.”

  That intense concern flickered alive in his eyes. The smallest wrinkle in his forehead told me he wasn’t happy with this development, but there was little he could do. Shay had been in my life for the past ten years; he hadn’t.

  “I get that…but, just…” Ryan whispered, finishing on a heavy exhale.

  His eyes searched mine while he gripped a stray strand of my hair.

  “Just don’t give up on us before we even start.” He leaned in and pressed a firm kiss to the space next to my lips. The kids could come in at any second, and I knew it wasn’t easy for him to hold himself back like this.

  I focused on his grip, how it gave me that same feeling of security, like he wanted to protect me…or, if I was being really honest, like he wanted to keep me.

  “I won’t,” I assured him, wrapping my hands around his neck.

  We’d returned from camping in a bubble of happiness, a high we hadn’t come down from yet. For two nights, Ryan had come over to eat dinner with us, taking the kids out for ice cream or to the park. I returned to work while he hung out with them at the house, watching a movie and eating dinner. I was sure he was nervous that once someone invaded our little bubble, it might pop.

  “Did you start dinner yet?” he asked, running a hand up my side.

  “No, not yet,” I replied softly, trying not to let on how much he was working me up. His touch was like fire against ice, melting and reshaping everything in its path.

  “Let me take you guys out.” He peppered my jaw with kisses.

  I laughed into his neck and agreed.

  Ryan had always drawn the attention of people around us. He was taller than most men, his fair brows set over those sea-green eyes, that perfect slope of his nose and cut of his jaw. He was masculine perfection, and now that he had veins protruding from his tan arms and biceps that apparently none of his t-shirts could handle, we would never go unnoticed.

  I knew this, and yet…for whatever reason, I suppose because we were in a small town, I figured we’d fly somewhat under the radar.

  We didn’t.

  Glances bounced off us all evening, phones with the flash on taking photos, hushed and not-so-hushed conversations…a few people even stopped to ask for an autograph, not paying any attention to me or the kids. Cole and Bella didn’t seem to notice, except for when people interrupted our dinner to ask for his signature; otherwise they seemed totally unaware.

  I watched their reactions carefully, especially because it was possible that come tomorrow morning, my kids and I could be blasted all over the internet.

  A muscle in Ryan’s jaw jumped as a group of younger women, likely in their early twenties, stopped at our table. All three of them had on tiny shorts, showcasing long, tan legs. Their halter tops barely covered their breasts, showing enough skin that I could see side boob.

  I wasn’t hating on how they dressed—Shay was known to scandalize the rodeo circuit when it came to town. I actually bought popcorn to see the reactions she’d get, loving my brazen best friend. What bothered me was that they were stopped at our table, oblivious to the fact that he had guests.

  They jutted their chests out, flicking their hair and resting manicured fingers on the table close to his hand. I doubted Ryan was used to brushing them off, because he smiled, engaged, and answered questions aimed his way.

  In my head, I had rehearsed what it would look like if this scenario presented itself. Ideally, he would have shooed everyone away then tugged the kids and me close, claiming us for all to see. The reality of how stupid I’d been came crashing in like a rogue wave, obliterating my well-built defenses.

  Cole watched the interaction between the girls and Ryan, his eyes bouncing back and forth between them, his little face contemplative. He stopped coloring on the page in front of him and scooted a few inches closer to my side until he was holding my hand under the table.

  My heart wilted like a dandelion caught in an unexpected storm.

  Minutes passed of the girls giggling, joking, and asking questions about Ryan’s projects. He looked dazed, entirely entranced by the exchange. I realized this would have been my fate; this right here would have been the man I’d married if we’d had our baby. If I had stayed and walked down that path that led him to fame, I’d have been lost in the spotlight that swallowed him up.

  Clearing my throat, I started to scoot Bella out of the circular booth.

  “Excuse us, we need to get out,” I muttered to the women.

  They barely paid me a glance, not threatened at all by the woman who was currently sporting a pair of mom jeans and sensible tennis shoes.

  “Bex, you guys good?” Ryan’s brows furrowed in concern. He didn’t make a move to get the women to leave or inform them that he was there with us. My gut twisted harshly at the realization dawning on me.

  “Yeah…we’re good,” I replied tightly.

  Idiot.

  Was he really that stupid? This wasn’t the man I’d once loved. This wasn’t my Ryan. For whatever reason, I had assumed he was still in there, especially after the camping…and maybe he was when he was alone, but the second the cameras came out, he was someone else.

  The kids followed me as I headed toward the bathroom sign. The restaurant we were in had a curbside delivery entrance right next to the bathrooms. I glanced back at the table and saw that Ryan was still chatting it up with his harem, and in a rush, I decided we’d had enough for one evening.

  “Come on guys, let’s go hunt down some ice cream.” I tugged them along as we edged our way toward the glass door.

  “What about Wyan?” Bella asked, following after her brother, who was holding my hand tight.

  “He’s too busy,” Cole muttered angrily.

  Dammit. He’d opened his heart up to Ryan, trusting him not to do what his father did. This wouldn’t be easy for him to fix.

  Shoving out into the fresh evening air, we made our way across the parking lot and toward the small ice cream parlor. Sure, Ryan might get worried, but there wasn’t much to worry over. He was an educated man; he’d eventually connect the dots, but as it was, I didn’t want to think about his worry.

  Instead, I’d be eating the words I’d stood by so faithfully when Shay questioned this relationship. I hated that she was right. I hated that I was so foolish.

  It was a mistake I wouldn’t allow to happen again.

  23

  A pounding on the front door had me jumping out of bed and flicking on the lights. Disoriented, I looked around to find the time. It was late; I knew that much. I briefly thought back to how I’d ended my evening in order to maybe piece together who would be at my door.

  Ryan had called a few times, his voicemails were just him angrily asking that I call him back. I never did. He texted me over and over, asking why I had left. I merely responded that he was busy, and we felt as though maybe it would be best if we left. That led to him calling about ten times in a row. Each voicemail was him asking for me to talk to him.

  Finally, after about an hour, he gave up and let me be. I snuggled up and watched a movie with the kids, gave them baths, read them a book, and put them to bed—remembering the wh
ole time that it was always better with just the three of us. I didn’t need anyone else in the picture.

  Pounding brought me back to the present moment: some odd hour of night, a stranger banging on my door.

  Right.

  “Who is it?” I asked, trying to keep my voice down.

  “Ryan.” His angry tone wrapped around me, even through the door separating us.

  “It’s late. We can talk tomorrow,” I muttered as I opened the door a crack. The chain on the top would prevent him from barging in, which was good. I didn’t want to talk to him.

  Dark eyes set under narrowed brows greeted me.

  “Bex…let me in.”

  “No. Go home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I stood straight, infusing more resolve into my tone than even I believed.

  His hand pressed against the door, not in a forceful way, more like he was pleading with me.

  “Please, Bex. I have no idea what I did wrong…was it Logan? Did he call you?” His eyes begged me to give him something, to explain why he’d temporarily lost us.

  That look was genuine, and I didn’t like that he thought I’d possibly go back to Logan. I didn’t owe him a conversation…and yet I did. In a way, I did. Was it possible that Ryan was so far removed from having anyone in his life he cared for that he didn’t know what he’d done wrong?

  Heaving a sigh, I closed the door to unlock it. Opening it, I let him inside and locked up after he’d moved past me. He walked like he was on a mission, straight for my bedroom. My stomach tipped upside down, refusing to straighten out. Why was I feeling this way when I’d mentally already shut him out?

  Ryan stood inside my bedroom, waiting for me to pass, his jaw granite. A shadow passed over his face, making me ache in a strange sort of way…like maybe I’d made a mistake when I jumped to conclusions about him.

  I padded to my bed and sat down, pulling my knees up, joining my hands together. Ryan shut the door and let out a heavy sigh, running his hand through his hair, tugging on the ends. I watched him, waiting to see how he wanted to begin this conversation.

  Seconds later he was moving, crouching on the floor, tugging at my hands until my legs fell. He crawled between them, placing his hands on either side of my hips. His intimate action made my breath hitch; it was so fast I didn’t stand a chance of even trying to push him away.

  “Was it him?” His voice tipped with emotion, making my eyes water.

  I could only manage to shake my head in response as emotion clogged my throat.

  “Then what happened? You were there one second then the next, you left.” His eyes were two stones tossed into the ocean, confusion muddling their iridescent glow.

  “Do you really not know?” I whispered.

  He searched my face for the answers he needed, realizing he had missed something.

  “How long before you realized we were gone?”

  Ten minutes, thirty-two seconds. I timed it.

  “Too long…I knew you had the kids, so I figured you were in the bathroom, helping them. I didn’t think much of it, but then you didn’t return, and those girls were still fucking talking to me.”

  “Ding-ding-ding,” I deadpanned, hoping I didn’t have to dig into this one. I felt stupid being jealous that Ryan would forever share every meal, every outing, every single public moment with his fans. I wasn’t built to handle it.

  “Wait…what?” he scoffed. “The girls?”

  I tried to push him away, but he gripped my thighs even tighter.

  “Bex…what…why would you even worry about that?” He seemed genuinely confused.

  Not ready to voice the petulant feelings still tugging at my chest, I crossed my arms.

  “They were just fans…persistent fans, but fans just the same. I don’t understand why that would bother you.” His blustered gaze fixed on my eyes swore he was being honest, which shifted something in me.

  Letting the tension in my shoulders drop, I leaned forward until my forehead was pressing against his. His hands went around, roaming up my back.

  “I’m not used to this,” I whispered, knowing he needed more based on his confusion. “I was jealous. It felt like you didn’t even know we were there…even Cole picked up on it.”

  A sound of remorse and frustration left his chest as he lowered his head to my lap.

  I tangled my hands into his hair, letting out a few more truths.

  “I feel stupid because I know we aren’t really dating, but…”

  Ryan’s head whipped up, brazen eyes staring back at me. That look—it was like the man I had left ten years ago had just reached through and grabbed a hold of me, terrified I’d run again.

  “I thought we talked about that.”

  My hands were still tucked into his hair while his face was merely inches from mine, our heavy breaths mingling.

  “We talked about seeing what this was…and I asked if you’d date me.”

  I put a little space between us by leaning back. “No, you asked me on a date. We have yet to go on that date…”

  It wasn’t that I didn’t love us going out with the kids, but I hadn’t been sexy at any point and we hadn’t been alone.

  A long-suffering sigh met my lips as Ryan lowered his gaze. “I’m planning it, I just…I love spending time with all of you, but let me be clear.” He rose on his knees, gaining height, pushing me into the mattress. “Our past is too thick for us to be casual. I may have hinted at a date when we were camping, but what I meant was that I wanted you to be mine.” He moved over me, wedging his jean-clad knee between my legs.

  My heartbeat picked up speed as his scent surrounded me.

  “Back to the issue with the fans…” His stern glare froze me in place as his hands worked to lift my shirt over my head. “You mentioned wanting to be discreet, which means I won’t bring attention to you or the kids—but say the word and you’ll be the topic of tomorrow’s evening gossip networks. I didn’t give a fuck about those girls, but I was trying to keep the attention off of you and the kids.”

  Fevered lips pressed against my throat as I felt a low sizzling fire start in my chest, quickly moving south.

  Tears pricked my eyes as I considered how sweet his motives were and how I’d just left, not giving him a chance to explain. Again.

  Fuck, I needed to stop this pattern.

  Grabbing hold of his neck, I pulled him down far enough that I could see his face and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

  “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve for me to react like that.” Shame simmered close to the surface, threatening to suffocate me.

  “We have some work to do on this trust thing…I have a lot to make up for from when you were last vulnerable with me.” He stroked my hair back, tracing my bottom lip before claiming it with his mouth.

  We did have a way to go…I hated that the rejection he’d served that night all those years ago still stung so much. It constantly made me want to hide in a dark corner, away from the possibility of getting hurt. It was so much easier to control the situation and protect myself.

  Letting go of the fears that bombarded me on a regular basis when Ryan was this close, I threw my arms around his neck and allowed lust to take the lead.

  His lips seared mine, slanting and dragging along my jaw and neck. Gripping my hips, he lifted me higher onto the bed. His grip was a reminder that he wasn’t letting go, that this was a serious moment, not to be mistaken for a fling or a passing night of passion.

  I allowed the thought to take root and leaned back, cupping my breasts while watching his half-lidded eyes turn heavy and resolute.

  He was a predator about to demolish his prey.

  His strong fingers tangled in the waistband of my sweats and pulled them down with barely restrained force, his hungry gaze landing on the tiny scrap of pink fabric between my legs.

  “Can I have you tonight, Bex?” He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my pubic bone, over the cotton fabric.

  In the past, Ryan hadn’t asked wh
en it came to having me sexually, but the tenderness in his tone completely undid me. My core heated as a throbbing started near my clit; I hadn’t felt this kind of desire since he’d last had me in his bed.

  “Yes, always yes,” I answered breathlessly.

  That was all the warning I had before he was ripping my underwear down my legs, staring down at my bare entrance with reverence. His head lowered, hungry eyes staying on me, daring me to look away. He knew I never could. When Ryan owned me like this, he owned all of me. I didn’t hold back access to anything; I handed over my trust entirely, and knowing he knew how to use that trust and how to make me feel things I’d never felt before always removed all my inhibitions.

  “Ryan…” My voice was husky and raw. I bucked my hips as his tongue worked in and out of my folds, feeling too much and realizing I wasn’t going to last long.

  “I missed this.” He breathed against my entrance while palming my thighs, spreading them further apart. He trailed a finger across my slit and drew long strokes of pleasure from me. Pushing inside, he returned his mouth to sucking my clit.

  “Oh my god,” I rasped, trying to keep my voice down. I tugged on the ends of Ryan’s hair, keeping him attached to that spot of perfection. Moving against his mouth in sensual movements, I moaned when he removed his fingers and grabbed my hips, pulling me closer.

  He lost control with his movements and his mouth while I writhed against his face, moaning and whispering filthy things to him. I was on the brink of falling apart just as he pulled away from me.

  I stared as he stood, gazing down at me with that subdued hunger. His lips glistened in the low lighting of my room, and it made me curious what he saw. My breasts bare, bigger than they once were. Faded stretch marks along my stomach, which was also not as flat as it once was. Other parts of my body not as perfect as they’d been ten years before.

  Insecurity crept in. I usually had a healthy outlook on my appearance, but I still caught myself thinking of all the perfect models and actresses he’d been with over the last decade.

  Ryan’s eyes only hardened as I could feel a flush creep up my neck. My hands went from massaging my hardened nipples to covering them.