Only Once: A Single Parent- Hollywood Romance

by Ashley Munoz

  Opening the fridge, I found trays of apples, cheeses, and a variety of other foods. Champagne and orange juice were being chilled, and a tray of chocolate strawberries were ready to go. I started pulling everything out and setting it up, pouring mimosas in crystal glassware, arranging the veggies and meat tray. I saw Natalie waving me back to the hall where the interview was being conducted.

  I dusted my hands off on my jeans, feeling awkward and underdressed as I rushed over toward the media room.

  “They’re finishing up—go ahead and start bringing the trays over,” she instructed in a hushed tone.

  I nodded and darted back toward the kitchen. On my second trip to the table in the hall, I carried an apple tray, along with a few juices and waters. I was ensuring the lines were straight and everything looked appealing when I heard one of the questions filter in from the room.

  “So, Ryan, we had a few questions taken from our viewers, and as you can imagine, we got several questions around your dating life…so many that I decided to condense some of these questions down to just one.” The woman paused, and my breath caught in my chest. “Over the years, we’ve seen you with multiple women, and more recently you were with someone back home then suddenly with Shelly Cambria. So, many of our readers are curious…have you ever been in love?”

  My hands froze. The question echoed in my head, as if the woman had yelled it into an empty room, all the syllables banging around, trying to land somewhere solid. I waited as I moved down the table, closer to the open door. Natalie was standing there, watching with the clipboard held to her chest.

  I edged closer, needing to see Ryan’s face when he gave his answer.

  I could feel Natalie’s eyes on me as I broke a billion rules she assumed I’d agreed not to break, but I felt the urge to see him, like he was a bright and brilliant flame and I was the displaced moth, staggering around, needing to find him.

  A thousand seconds passed as I saw the gray light of the dreary fall day pour along the white carpet of his media room, the rain-soaked windows, and the cherry red leather the woman interviewing Ryan sat on. He sat across from her, several feet away, one leg crossed over the other, his nice suit pressed, making him look every inch the movie star that he was. His golden hair was styled in a decadent way, making him look like he’d just stepped out of a magazine.

  Our eyes locked right as he answered her question. “Only once.”

  My heart expanded so much I was sure everyone could hear it pop. Surely my lungs would fill with fluid right here in this room and I’d die.

  He stared at me so long the interviewer turned to look too. Natalie began clearing her throat so loudly everyone probably thought she was choking.

  I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place as his gaze seared me, an inferno of awareness buzzing through me. His words played on a loop in my head, like a promise, a vow…my mind went to that moment in his room when he refused to give me his eyes while we fucked, to how desperate I’d been for that blue-green gaze to latch onto mine.

  A sharp tug on my elbow threw me off balance, shaking me out of the strange vortex I’d been sucked into.

  “What are you doing?” Natalie seethed, hauling me away. There was a commotion behind me, but I was already moving. Grabbing my purse and coat, I hurried away from her and the house, down the steps. My feet hit the driveway as the front door burst open and Ryan ran down after me.

  “Bex!” His voice carried over the sound of my rattling heart.

  I opened my car door, ready to jump in and drive away. I wanted answers about his parents, but at what cost?

  Gloria’s words might as well have been tattooed on my heart with how often I considered them. I didn’t need to see Ryan or stand there and hear him talk about his love life. I needed to protect my heart. I’d call every hospital from here to New York City if I had to in order to get answers about Gary and Gloria. I didn’t need Ryan.

  Nearly in my car and ready to slam the door shut, I felt a hard tug on my elbow, spinning me away from the SUV. Ryan stood in front of me and held my door so I couldn’t shut it. He watched me, eyes filled to the brim with questions and raw emotion.

  “I heard you had a family emergency…I just wanted to be sure your family was okay,” I blurted, desperate for confirmation that they were alive.

  “They’re fine…they’re on a cruise,” Ryan said as he exhaled, the rain pouring over every ridge and dip of his beautiful face.

  “Good, okay…” I dropped my gaze to the asphalt at my feet.

  “Were you…” he started, and my gaze jumped back to him. “Were you catering for the…” He pointed over his shoulder, brows drawn in confusion. I looked up and saw Natalie talking with her finger pressed into her ear.

  I shrugged, smiling. “I didn’t mean to…she let me in and assumed that was who I was.” Right as I said that, another car pulled up next to mine, and a woman of similar build to me got out wearing a white chef coat, her hair pinned back tightly from her face. “I think she’s your caterer.” I nodded toward the woman rushing past us with reddening cheeks.

  “Look, Bex…I…” Ryan started, but I couldn’t hear him reject me again. It was one thing to have it done in the privacy of my home, but in front of strangers? The possibility of it getting on the cover of some magazine was too high.

  “Ryan…wait, just…I’m sorry I showed up here. I didn’t mean to cross that line. I just wanted to be sure your parents were okay.” I pleaded with him to understand and let me pass, but his grip on my door remained firm.

  “I wanted to say I’m sorry for how I left,” he briskly explained. His aqua eyes danced over my face, worry and exhaustion apparent in the dark circles under his eyes.

  “Okay.” I shrugged. It didn’t mean much when he’d only said it because I physically tracked him down.

  “That’s it?” he scoffed, bringing his hand to his chin, rubbing at the day-old scruff there.

  “If you’d found me, come to me, and said it, it would have meant something else…you only said it because I broke into your house. You left, choosing to believe whatever you wanted to believe about me. You said the most hurtful things to me, Ryan.” I met his glare.

  His eyes tracked the tilt of my lips, his thinned in response. His grip remained steadfast on my door, which left me baffled as to how to end this conversation. The longer I stood there, the more painful it was.

  Suddenly he shook his head, licking his lips. “I have a lot to say about that.”

  Snapping my eyes to his, I flared my nostrils. “How convenient now that I’m standing here in front of you.”

  “It’s true, timing be damned—you’re here, and I want to talk to you about what happened between us.” He let go of my door, folding his arms in front of him as the rain continued to fall on us.

  Slamming my door so the interior didn’t get soaked, I matched his guarded posture. “You kissed another woman without warning me then let the world assume she was warming your bed, all while I took hit after hit from the media.” I stepped forward as more anger barreled into me. “Then you told me to grow up, said I wasn’t your first pick and never would be…” I stepped closer, noting that his gaze was hard and calculated. “It’s been weeks, Ryan. What exactly are we supposed to talk about?”

  My voice teetered, screeching over the roar of my hurt as I lobbed the fault of our demise back his way.

  “Look, I know I messed this up. I said things to you out of pain, things I didn’t mean…” He paused, watching me with calculated restraint. “I owe you a thousand apologies for what I said to you that night, but I was hurting.”

  “From what? I was the one who was hurting, Ryan. You screwed me over, not the other way around.” I pointed at my chest.

  “Do you know how it felt to hear from Logan that you two kissed?” Ryan dipped his chin, now putting his face inches from mine, his voice a lethal blade, sharp and precise.

  I blinked harshly at the fat drops of rain pelting my face. “No…he kissed me. I didn’t kis
s him back—I pushed him away and kicked him out of my house.”

  Ryan scoffed, spinning on his heel away from me. “His mouth was on you, and let me guess, you were somehow on the counter in front of him?”

  “He essentially attacked me! I was stomping in to yell at him for how he acted with you when he picked me up and mauled me with his mouth. Do you even understand what it did to me that day to see you show up at my house early?” I stepped closer to him again, my dusty wings flitting closer and closer to the flame burning inside of him.

  His perfect lips parted, his eyes dancing with little specks of gold as he searched my face, ready to respond, but I didn’t let him.

  “You act as though Logan has some claim on me, like there’s some way he’ll be relevant again in a romantic way…as if there was some way he could ever compare to you.”

  “You have two kids with him, Bex! Of course there’s a claim—of course I’m going to feel insecure and worried that you guys could get back together for the sake of your kids.” His voice softened as he stepped closer. “What if I’m in the way of you being a family again? I can’t do that to Cole or Bella.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it…a huge, ridiculous laugh erupted from some place near my spine, where I was sure my backbone was shattering.

  Ryan’s eyes narrowed, flitting back and forth as tears of laughter clogged my throat and my stomach pitched, making me double over.

  “Why are you laughing?” he asked, his arms darting out to stabilize me. I could hear the worry in his tone, which only made me laugh harder.

  “It’s just the irony of my life…I refused to marry Logan three times, basically ending our relationship. Whether he cheated or not, I was already out, and he knew it.” I wheezed, swiping at my face. It was useless, of course, but my fingers found their way to the smudges underneath my lashes just the same. “Now here you are, pushing me away all over the one man I never committed to in the first place, someone I’d never get back together with, no matter what the circumstances…but you know what, Ryan, I do think it’s high time I move on from this.” I sobered, strengthening my voice. “I sabotaged my last relationship waiting for you…I won’t do that again. When I find love again, I’m going all in. Future me deserves that kind of happiness.”

  I swiped once more under my lashes as Natalie rushed down the stairs. “Mr. Prince, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize who she is!” Her wide eyes shifted to me in panic.

  Not a good time, Natalie.

  “Bexley,” Ryan warned as I reached for my car door.

  I refused to look back at his face or see anything in those eyes, not wanting to commit anything to memory.

  “Goodbye, Ryan. Good luck with everything.”

  “Bexley, don’t…”

  “Mr. Prince, they’re waiting for you inside,” Natalie prattled as Ryan tried to step closer to my car, but I was already tucking myself in and locking my doors. I didn’t need this.

  Ignoring how Ryan pulled on my door handle and slapped against my door frame, I began reversing. His hands went to his hair as I drove away, leaving him behind. I permitted myself one last glance back and saw him standing there, his hands in his pockets and his head hung in defeat.

  A thick lump of pain lodged itself in my throat as I accelerated and left the man I’d loved for an entire decade behind.

  35

  “Look, I understand that he doesn’t exactly catch the ball…”

  “He completely avoids it.”

  “Okay, he avoids it…but still, he deserves to be in the game,” I argued, holding my hand out flat, as if my entire argument could fit there. Coach Meyers let out another one of those heavy sighs that always pissed me off. He did it a lot with the kids, and it always made my son feel like he’d done something wrong.

  “Look, Ms. Black… every mother wants her kid to play, but the reality—”

  “Do not patronize me, sir.” I rolled my eyes, breathing through my nose. “Every other kid has played during a game this season, except for my son. Other parents have commented on it too…if you can’t coach him, I’m going to the school board.”

  I hated being that mom, but my poor son needed a win these days. Logan’s interest had only grown by about one percent when he heard that Cole would be playing baseball this season. It’d caught me by surprise when he decided to venture into baseball, but I wasn’t going to say a word if it made my kid happy. He needed something to make him happy.

  It had been a month since I last stood in front of Ryan’s house, exposing my heart and realizing there was no use in telling him he still had it and that no other man ever would. The kids didn’t know, and if I had my way, they never would, but eventually I’d have to break it to them that we weren’t going to Brazil and we weren’t going to see him again. They’d be okay though; my kids were tough. The experience had taught me a valuable lesson about who I’d let into my life so as not to affect theirs, and one day we’d find that perfect fit for us, someone who loved us the way we deserved, someone I loved the way he deserved, and it would fit.

  “You’re going to the school board because your son can’t play?” Coach Meyers said mockingly, his bushy brown eyebrows rising up toward his receding hairline. “Just because you’re dating some celebrity doesn’t mean you can just demand your kid gets to play.”

  I nearly winced at his ignorant comment; he had heard the rumors swirling but had no hard facts. No one did, because no one asked. Ignoring him, I pushed forward with my agenda. “It’s unfair that you’re not playing them all equally. This is grade school, for heaven’s sake.” I waved my hand toward the field, nearly ready to pass out from how frustrated I was getting.

  “You do that, Ms. Black.” Coach Meyers popped his cinnamon gum, his wide belly pushing against the hoodie he wore. I knew his wife was a sweet woman and I tried to keep my temper at a minimum knowing she might have to deal with his anger, but damn, he pissed me off. I felt like he was purposely pushing me and ignoring my son, all because he had some hang-up about Ryan?

  Rolling my eyes like a preteen, I headed toward the parking lot where Shay and the kids were huddled around a cell phone.

  “I can’t believe he did that!” Cole groaned with a hint of amusement. Bella hung on Shay’s arm, trying to look at the screen with her brother.

  “What are you guys watching?” I asked, opening the back of the SUV to throw Cole’s gear in.

  “This video of Ryan accepting some challenge where he has to sing a song from one of those princess cartoons Belle always watches,” Cole replied discontentedly, and my mood dipped even further. My chest squeezed tight at the truth sitting in my back pocket, the one I had to give them. They deserved to know Ryan was never coming back, but every time I tried to say it, the words died on my tongue.

  “Cole begged me to watch it, said a kid in his class told him about it.” Shay gave me that look, the one that said the little assholes in school had made my son feel bad for being the last to know considering there were a million rumors about his mom and the movie star. Of course Shay showed him; I would have done the same.

  “Thank you,” I muttered quietly as we piled into the car. I explained briefly how my conversation with the idiot coach had gone as we drove back home. Shay had carpooled with us, which was a nice change of pace for our friendship. I enjoyed getting to have her around more frequently, especially with what was going on. I had filled her in on my reunion with Ryan, after which she helped shield me from the rumors that had started regarding that interview.

  Articles were popping up everywhere about Ryan’s comment of only being in love once, how Bexley Black had shown up on his doorstep, and how Ryan had run after her, begging her to take him back. If only that were true. Still the gossip mill had started, and this time, it didn’t look like there was any chance of it blowing over before Christmas.

  Ryan wasn’t helping matters with how he continuously responded to the questions about me and why I had showed up. He’d recently gone on a night show with a p
opular comedian who brought up the interview. Ryan gave a dazzling smile while he only confirmed that I was the person he’d referred to in that interview. He’d even gone as far as to say I was the one that got away, which was why Coach Meyers had mentioned me dating a celebrity—that and Ryan’s parents continuing to show up at every game.

  No one knew the whole story or that Ryan had let me go that day and hadn’t sought me out a single time after, which only left me confused as to why he even answered the questions or bothered to bring me up at all.

  “Okay you guys, you know the drill—go in and get ready for bed, Cole you’re taking your shower first.” We unloaded, the kids running toward the house while I veered toward the mailbox. Plucking my mail free, I found bills and more bills. Nothing new.

  No letter…nothing from him.

  I hated that I kept thinking I’d get something, hated foolishly waiting for him to show up again. I needed to stop this behavior and get my head on straight. My kids needed me to get past this and let him go.

  Once and for all.

  “Coach Meyers retired?”

  I squinted at the rear-view mirror in astonishment as Cole nodded silently from his spot behind me. It had been a few days since the last game, when Coach Meyers surprisingly hadn’t shown up. His assistant Leslie handled the entire game, and my son, number eleven, had played for two whole innings; it was absolutely glorious.

  “Tommy said he heard something last week, but I thought everyone was just guessing and no one really knew or not, but then today he was there and told us himself.”

  Coach Meyers had not seemed like he was on the verge of retirement the previous week when we had our showdown. I was curious if it was his wife or maybe his health…whatever it was, I couldn’t help but feel relieved. I watched my son’s dark head in the mirror as he took a sip of his juice box. He didn’t seem to have a reaction, good or bad, to this news.

  “So, any idea what they’re going to do now?” I signaled for our street and slowed to fifteen miles per hour. Ever since Cole’s bike accident, I was wary of going any faster.