To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 6, 23:41
Dear Arthur,
I’ve been thinking about you a lot and I wanted to tell you something!
First, I had a GREAT time with you at Heritage Park last weekend! But I know you have a girlfriend and I don’t want to break you guys up! I think that I shouldn’t have kissed you! I thought that maybe I should, but I feel TERRIBLE about it now! I know I should talk to you in person, but it’s so hard! I like you A LOT, but let’s just be friends, OK?!
Kennedy :)
From: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 7, 18:09
Hi, Arthur!
I would love to see you tomorrow or Sunday. I really miss you, and Heritage Park was just so lovely last weekend. It made me wish dearly that I could see you all the time. Don’t you wish that too? If only we went to the same school … Maybe I’ll switch at winter break so that we can see each other every day. Wouldn’t that be so wonderful? Then I could be in your movie too! I probably don’t live in the right school district, though. Oh, how these imaginary borders keep us apart!
XOXO
Love,
Anila
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
Sent: December 7, 18:30
Dear Anila,
I think you would hate my school. The teachers use so much paper and I bet that half of them don’t recycle.
But that’s too bad. It would be fun to have you in the movie.
I don’t think that I can hang out this weekend. I’ve got loads of homework, plus I promised Robbie that I would work on the movie. We’ve got a lot to do if we want to start filming in the new year!
I miss you, though. I’ll call you tomorrow!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
Sent: December 7, 19:21
Dear Kennedy,
I totally understand what you mean. It’s really hard to be together, and I know that I’m really busy. But don’t worry, I’ll always make time for you! That’s really nice that you don’t want me to break up with Anila. I know that would mean a lot to her.
I would love to hang out with you this weekend if you’re free. (I’m supposed to see Anila on Saturday. She’s very in love with me.)
Oh yeah, and did you talk to Robbie? He was talking about you the other day and I think he’s really sorry about the whole fight thing. Maybe you guys can be friends again, especially if we’re going to be hanging out more!
Yours very truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 7, 21:08
Hi Arthur!
You should DEFINITELY keep your plans with your girlfriend this weekend! I don’t want to get in the way of TRUE LOVE!! I hope you get that we shouldn’t have kissed! It was not right at all!
Also, I REALLY am not talking to Robbie! He was SO MEAN to me! Catie said that he’s been a jerk to lots of people.
What’s his DEAL?!?
Kennedy :)
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
Sent: December 7, 21:14
Dear Kennedy,
I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought it up. I just want you guys to be friends again. Did you know that his parents are actually getting divorced soon? Before they were just separated, but now it’s all being finalized. That’s got to be really hard on him! Plus his mom is being really weird and his brother is being a jerk. I know he wants to apologize, but you know Robbie.
And trust me, I know we’re only friends. I just hope that we can be best friends!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
Sent: December 7, 23:06
Dear Anila,
It turns out that I am free this weekend. Do you want to do something still?
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
my mom is maybe moveing back to canada. she says my dad is 2 rapped up in work 2 b a good father.
and wed probly have to eat real food again. I think her bf broke up w/ her. probly cuz shes bossy.
Maybe your parents will get back together after all! It happens in movies.
i hope not! at least it means i only have 1 more xmas in north carollina
From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 13, 18:20
Hi Arthur!
You’ll never BELIEVE what happened to me! I got detention LOL! I guess that will teach me to ask Fiona for a pencil DURING a pop quiz LOL! LOL!! It wasn’t so bad though! Von was there too for being late for school three days in a row! He had to promise to buy an alarm clock LOL!! He’s so cute and so tiny! He reminds me of a Pomeranian puppy LOL!!! And he talks so much LOL! Did you know that he’s visited like 30 countries ALREADY?!?! ANYWAY, Catie just ditched me, so do you want to go to a movie tomorrow?!?
Kennedy :)
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
Sent: December 13, 18:28
Dear Kennedy,
I can’t believe you would get in trouble. You’re way too cute for that! But I can believe that Von was there. That guy can be so annoying, I bet he annoys teachers so much that he barely gets detention because they don’t even want to see him anymore!
I’m absolutely up for a movie tomorrow night. Your pick!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 14, 14:02
Hi, Arthur!
Are you going to wish me a happy birthday? I can’t believe you haven’t said anything. I assume it’s because you have a surprise planned for tonight! (I can smell a surprise a mile away. Ask my parents! I always know!)
See you tonight!
XOXOXO
Love,
Anila
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
Sent: December 14, 15:23
Dear Anila,
Shoot! You figured me out! I asked a bunch of people to go to the movies with us tonight! A lot of people couldn’t make it though, and some other people bailed at the last minute because of the snow. But Kennedy can come, and she’s so excited to see you again, and Robbie really wanted to come but his mom is in town.
Anyway, we’re going to come over and get you at 6 tonight
Better get ready!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
December 14th
Dear RJ,
WORST EVENING EVER!
Apparently I forgot about Anila’s birthday and I’d already told Kennedy I’d go to the movies. So then I had to go with both of them to the same movie. I kind of wanted to try that thing that you see in movies where you pretend like you’re only there with one person, and then keep making excuses to get popcorn or go to the bathroom and stuff, and then go sit with the other person, but I’m pretty sure that would never work.
Instead, I pretended like it was Anila’s birthday party. But I didn’t want Kennedy to know that I had forgotten, so I just never said anything about it. Kennedy looked so shocked when my dad picked her up and Anila was already in the back seat. Anila seemed mad that no one else came with us, and Kennedy didn’t talk to Anila either. Then the movie was sold out and we had to sit around for an hour waiting for another movie to start
.
I didn’t know what to say to anyone. I was worried that they would figure out what was going on, and once when Kennedy went to the bathroom, Anila turned to me and said, “I can’t believe how self-centred she can be. She hasn’t even wished me a happy birthday!” Then I had to agree, because AS IF I was going to tell her that Kennedy actually invited me to go on a date and that she didn’t even know that it was Anila’s birthday! I don’t even know what the movie was about, I was so nervous the whole time! I’m just glad it’s over!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
Sent: December 15, 14:09
Dear Anila,
That was kind of a terrible birthday! Sorry about that. I didn’t know Kennedy was going to be so weird. I’ll make it up to you. I’m also sorry that I forgot your present at home. I’ll bring it to you next weekend. I hope that the rest of your birthday weekend goes better!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
Sent: December 16, 11:42
Dear Kennedy,
How’s your weekend? How was your volleyball tournament? Did you guys win? I’m sure you did!
I wanted to say that I’m sorry about Friday night. Things got a little weird, but I didn’t think you would mind so much. I mean, Anila is my girlfriend right now so I kind of had to bring her along. I’m sorry about that though. I was really looking forward to hanging out with just you. I’ll make it up to you! I’m going to get you the best Christmas present EVER!
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
From: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 16, 21:06
Dear Arthur,
Thanks for apologizing. It was weird and awkward, wasn’t it! The rest of my birthday weekend wasn’t much better either. We had dinner at home and a birthday cake from Dairy Queen (although I do love ice cream cake!).
Anyway, I’m calling this birthday a fail. But that’s okay, I should have many more …
I hope your weekend was productive. I spent quite a bit of time researching things, and I found us something really fun to do. It’s called the Clean Water campaign. They clean the rivers and lakes and get the garbage out of the water. It’s not until the spring, but then we can go together! What a crazy date, hey?!? We would be garbage pickers together. The idea makes me laugh. I can already hear the funny things you would say about the different stuff we found.
I can’t wait to see you this weekend!
XOXOX
love,
Anila
ZOMBIE SCHOOL
by Arthur Bean and Robbie Zack
and Von Ipo
December 18 Production Meeting Notes
After Christmas we’ll bring all the elements of your film together with the intention to film after spring break. Use this time effectively to flag any other ideas you would like noted before the task of scriptwriting begins. –Mrs. Ireland
I worked on a bunch of cool scenes for Tuff Arnold (my character) and added them to the production notes! –VI
Great. I’m sure they will add a whole level of excitement to the script and make the movie, like, the best thing EVER because you’re so amazing at writing. –AB
we still havent really added the wearwolves. we should do that if were going to. –rz
VON’S SCENES:
There’s a big zombie fight scene in the school cafeteria. Basically everyone is dead and the only living good guys are huddling in the corner, about to be eaten by zombies. Tuff Arnold (me) has been attacked by a zombie, and I’m bleeding and stuff. But I get up and I drop-kick the zombie’s head off. The other zombies stop and look at me, and I say, “Get in line!” and I spin- kick the zombies around me. I turn to the good guys who were about to get eaten and say, “So … who wants to buy me lunch? I forgot my wallet … in that zombie’s BRAIN!”
Then Tuff Arnold (me) is in the thick of the zombie war that has broken out in the school gym. It looks like the zombies are going to win, and then I have a brilliant plan. “Get out of the gym! I’ve got a plan!” I say to Mackenzie, who is in love with me. “No, Tuff! You can’t do this! Don’t do this! Think about us, Tuff!!!!” She is sobbing and grabbing onto my arm. Meanwhile, I’m killing zombies with the other hand. “I have to do this, baby. But remember that I loved you,” I say.
I wait until all the zombies are in the gym and they are closing in on me. Then I reveal my secret weapon and yell “YOLO!!!!” and press the self-destruct button. The entire school blows up. The camera goes to Mackenzie, who is blown into the air by the force of the explosion, but lands softly in a pile of hay. “He did it …” she whispers. Then she smiles through her tears. “He really did it.” The camera pulls back over the city, and the sun comes out (because it was raining before).
Credits roll.
December 18th
Dear RJ,
I don’t know what to do about Kennedy vs. Anila. Anila’s so nice, and I like talking to her. And she likes me, a lot. I don’t want to hurt her by breaking up. I wish my mom was here. She would know what I should do about it. I’ve been trying to think of what she would say, but I don’t even know anymore. It’s like I don’t really even remember what advice she used to give me. But here’s the thing, RJ. I can’t really be with Kennedy anyway, at least not until she and Robbie are friends again, so I need them to get over this stupid fight and make up, so that I can go out with Kennedy.
I’m caught in the middle, but if they were talking to each other, then Kennedy could work on the movie with us, and then I could tell her about the borrowed camera hiding in my closet. Instead, Robbie is totally rude to her whenever they are close to each other, and Kennedy and Catie say rude things back. It’s mostly Catie who starts it, but Kennedy says stuff too. I’ve asked Luke what to do, but he has no idea either. I guess I have all of Christmas break to think of ways to get them talking.
Yours truly,
Arthur Bean
Christmas Happenings: Hayrides, Hot Chocolate and Heritage Park
By Arthur Bean
Looking for ways to make your holidays extra special for your sweetheart this year?
There are plenty of options around Calgary! The holidays are not just about the mall and great deals, but also about spending time with the people you love.
This reporter headed out to get the dirt on Heritage Park’s Christmas event, but what did I find? A snowy wonderland that even the hardest hearts can’t mock. There are wagon rides, crafts, fancy gingerbread houses to admire, carollers and a general sense of merriment around the old historical village. Not to mention that the hot chocolate was really tasty, although a little expensive for this reporter, who thought it should be free.
Go soon, though, since this is the last weekend it’s open.
To make it an even cheaper day out, look for 2-for-1 coupons in the newspaper or online (not this newspaper, a real newspaper).
Hey, Artie!
This is great! I’m so pleased that you enjoyed your day there, and you’ve done a nice job summarizing what readers can expect if they go. A perfect addition to our last edition before the break (although we are a real newspaper; don’t sell us short!)
Have a great break, unless of course, you’re Santa Claustrophobic!
Cheers!
Mr. E.
From: Von Ipo ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 19, 16:52
Hey, Artie!
I’ve got even more scenes now! Those other ones took me basically 5 minutes to write. I can ask the teachers to be part of the movie too. They would make good werewolves. It would be amazing, and I’m really great at making people look like animals. I used to be in a th
eatre group when I was a kid, and I basically did all the makeup for everyone, so I’m really good at making people look like animals. But if you want them to be in it, I’m basically the favourite student in the whole school, so I’m sure that if I ask them to be in the movie, they’ll all do it.
Want to meet over the break? Can bring my laptop and show you that software!
Von
From: Anila Bhati ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 20, 9:02
Dear Arthur,
It was so fun last night to hang out with you! I really loved the documentary, did you? At least, the parts you saw? You were so cute when you fell asleep! I’ve never seen you fall asleep in a movie before; you must have been so tired.
Anyway, thanks again for the bubble bath. I love the smell of grapefruit. You didn’t have to get me anything for Christmas, but it’s nice that you did. I wish I could see you over the break, but we’re going cross-country skiing. We’re not leaving until Christmas Eve, though, so maybe we can hang out before then!!
XOXO and love always,
Anila
From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
Sent: December 22, 10:03
Hi Arthur!
I just wanted to say have a GREAT Christmas! We’re leaving for Whistler today, which should be awesome, but I hope you have fun too! I know that Christmas can be super rough without your mom, so I wanted to tell you that I’ll be thinking about you while I’m on the slopes!
Kennedy :)
From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])
To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])
Sent: December 22, 14:25
Dear Kennedy,
Thanks so much! That really means a lot to me. I think this Christmas will be better, knowing that you’ll be thinking of me from so far away! I’ll definitely be thinking of you too!
Scenes from the Epic Life of a Total Genius Page 7