by Petrova, Em
“You want a coffee? Breakfast?” Nick asks as he closes the door gently behind him.
I scowl, knowing I should be the one offering him breakfast not the other way around. I’m really going to have to make this all up to him. Another time though.
“I was going to go to bed.”
I realize I’m being rude, but I’m tired and edgy. I keep wondering what would have happened if Nick hadn’t turned up. And then I glance into Nick’s eyes and they’re dark and simmering with something indescribable.
Bed.
The word lingers in the air and I wish I’d never said it because now the word is echoing in my head and the idea of a bed and Nick can’t seem to compute in my mind. It’s like my body suddenly explodes with unbridled desire and the synapses in my head are firing off. I’m overloaded with erotic images, with the memory of Nick’s hard body under my cheek, and all I can think is how much I want that solid body pressed against mine.
In bed.
And I know he’s thinking it too. I can see it in his blue eyes. He takes a moment to shrug off his light jacket. I guess it was cold when he first stepped out. He takes his time, as if there’s no hurry. As if I won’t burst into flames if I don’t touch him. His gaze remains on mine as he hooks it over the coat rack. I frown at the domestic sight of our coats hanging together, an image of a future I’ll never have.
I suck in a deep breath as he releases his jacket and turns completely toward me. Today he wears a tight old grey T-shirt, the lettering on it faded, and scruffy jeans. The denim is worn around the crotch… My cheeks flame. What am I doing studying him there?
I’m not sure who takes the first step but both of us move forward. I feel as though I’m pushing through water or cold treacle just to get to him. And then he’s there, all hard muscles and rough fingers.
Those fingers are in my hair, pulling my head back so he can kiss me. His lips meet mine. There’s no pretense to this kiss. It’s hard and demanding. His teeth bump into my lip and I whimper. I’ve never been a whimperer but Nick’s kisses make me want to keen and beg for more. My hands snake up around his neck, my nails dig into his skin. His tongue presses between my lips and I taste coffee and heat, and I can’t get enough. We deepen the kiss, clamor against each other.
Something has snapped inside me and I can’t hold it back. The point of no return. He presses me against the wall and the thick length of him rubs against my tender flesh, sparking an acute ache between my legs.
“Christ, Sienna,” he groans as he tears his mouth from mine to graze his lips across my cheek.
Rough hands creep under the waistband of my scrubs, skimming my hip to cup my ass. He sneaks his fingers under my panties and I moan at the feel of warm masculine skin against my rear. Nick gives my ass a squeeze, then drags his fingers back out and down to hook under my knee. Angling my leg and lifting it, he holds it to his hip. I’m open and vulnerable and he rocks into me, sends sparks of pleasure through me. I quake and murmur his name while he nips at my neck.
Nails digging into his flesh, I tunnel my other hand through his blond hair, keeping him clamped to me. A chasm opens up in me, one that can only be filled by Nick. I’m not sure if it’s an emotional or physical need but I can’t get enough of him. For so long, I’ve been ignoring the attraction burning between us. At the same time as the tension of avoiding our chemistry leaves, a new tension builds and I arch desperately into him.
Both hands cup my ass now, and lift me so I’m snug against him. His erection presses into me and his mouth finds mine again. It’s a rough kiss, our teeth clash, both of us unable to control ourselves enough to retreat. His tongue twines forcefully with mine and a growl comes deep from within him.
My arms are wrapped around his neck when he pulls away from the wall and carries me to the bedroom. We both breathe heavily as he slides my legs down. I wobble slightly when I find my feet and the slight distance it creates begins to clear my mind. But before the haze of desire dissipates completely, he cups my chin and plunders my mouth again.
I grip his muscled arms and hang on for dear life. Part of me can’t believe I’m kissing Nick while the other part tells me it was inevitable. How could anyone resist a man so sexy, so amazing?
Nick fumbles with the tie on my scrubs. The crinkle of fabric echoes in my ears as he draws my pants hastily down. He releases my mouth to tug my top from me and shifts back enough to stare.
I don’t know what I see in his eyes, but I like it. I drop my head slightly as heat spreads across my chest. He takes the time to run his gaze over my silky underwear. Thank God I wore a matching set. I toe off my plain work shoes and quickly yank away my socks, feeling ridiculous in them.
Where I throw them, I’m not sure because I can’t drag my gaze away from him. He takes a moment to caress my breasts, drawing his hand down the curve of my waist to my hips.
“Fuck, Sienna, you are too damned beautiful.” He tugs me into him, roughly draws my ponytail out, and buries his head in my hair. “You have no idea how often I’ve thought of you like this but, I swear to God, I didn’t know…” He kisses my ear, sucks on my earlobe making me shudder. “I didn’t know you’d be this incredible.”
And while I love his words and the look in his eyes, I need to speed up again. I need to feel his skin under my fingers. To know if that body is really as amazing as I imagined. Oh yeah, as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’ve spent far too long thinking about what Nick would look like naked.
As if reading my mind, he tugs at the bottom of his T-shirt and drags it over his head. His hair ends up rumpled and he does that thing where he stares at me from under his brow again. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was feeling self-conscious.
Sucking in a breath, I reach out and touch his abdomen, trace the lines of his stomach. My mouth dries and I breathe the word, “Shit…”
Powerful, strong, beautiful… the planes of his muscles stretch out in front of me. His skin is so hot and smooth. Inky swirls paint his right arm and one shoulder, and another, newer tattoo—a Celtic band I think—circles his other arm. I trace the band with my finger and close the gap between us. I just have to taste him. Mouth open, I lean over and kiss his chest, allowing my tongue to dart out. The tang of salt teases my taste buds and I follow the line of his pec until I reach one nipple. I flick my tongue briefly over it and he groans, fingers coming up into my hair.
My hands land on the waistband of his jeans and I scrabble to undo the button and find the zip. Just like my scrubs, the sound of the zip rasping plays in my ears—a stark reminder of what is about to happen.
But I can’t, for the life of me, force my hands to stop as I reach into his briefs. His heat fills my palm, so solid. Almost frighteningly solid. He feels amazing. Hot, pulsing, thick. I lick my lips and am aware I must be blushing at the invitation I sent out.
“Geez, don’t do that to me, Sienna,” he grates out as he thrusts gently against my hand. “You should see how hot you look, your tongue darting across your lip.” Nick presses a thumb to my bottom lip as his other hand tugs my hair back so I have no choice but to stare up at him.
When he claims my mouth again, my pulse ratchets up. I still have a hand in his briefs and the other, well, I don’t know what it’s doing, but I guess I’m trying my best to touch every part of him. His callused palm is gripping my ass once more, almost painfully, but it just enflames the sensations rocketing through me. It’s like he’s marking me with his hand.
The hand skims my back, making my flesh tingle, and with one quick snap, my bra is undone and whipped from me. My nipples peak instantly and I suck in a startled breath as he palms one breast. I close my eyes and savor it. It’s as though I’ve never been touched there before. But I have. It’s just Nick has never touched me there before.
He tugs my nipple until it’s impossibly hard and lowers his head to take it in his mouth. I finally remove my hand from the heat of his briefs and spread my fingers through his hair. As I glance down, I’m struck
by how erotic the sight is. I’ve seen it before, with Rob and my previous boyfriend, but it never made my body tense with such need that I might explode with the smallest of touches. I’m so achingly ready for him, it’s insane.
Nick moves over to my other nipple and bites and sucks on it as I make nonsensical noises. When he brings his head up, his eyes are hooded, pupils wide. He doesn’t grin which is unusual. He looks deadly serious. A dart of apprehension shoots through me and I tremble as he hooks his fingers into my panties and begins to slide them down. He takes them down to my knees and they fall off the rest of the way. I need to cover myself but his gaze has me pinned. I probably look awkward standing there as he takes in the sight of me.
One hand hooks around my neck and pulls me into him. I end up with my head buried into his shoulder as he strokes his hand over my bare bottom and murmurs in my ear. Words like beautiful and amazing and so many other words of flattery that my cheeks are probably crimson.
With my head still pressed against him, I force down his briefs, pulling them away from his cock. His length presses against his stomach as I look down the planes of his torso, and he helps me pull his underwear all the way off.
I skim my nails briefly over his rear and he hisses when I bring my hand around to brush my knuckles over his shaft and circle him. He pulses lightly against me and I draw back to stare up at him.
Gaze connecting brashly with mine, he lifts me once more, forcing me to cling to his neck. Our bodies contacting seems to ignite the spark between us again. He lays me down gently and his hips end up cradled between my legs.
I sweep my hands up and down his arms and over his back as he kisses my neck and collarbone, scattering pecks and nips down to my breasts and back up. Writhing, moaning, I work my hips against him, urgently needing some kind of release.
His skin is hot and smooth and taut, and it’s insane how beautiful he is. I almost want to close my eyes to it as I fear he might just send me crazy with need. His cock rubs my folds. Nick moves roughly against me but it’s not enough and I know he’s teasing me, even though he seems as carried away as I am.
He keeps muttering my name, like a prayer or a chant. It sounds so sexy coming from his lips. I feel sexy. Though I wriggle in invitation, he ignores me, mumbling a curse and trying to keep me still with one hand to my ass.
“Sienna,” he growls, “if you don’t stop, this will be over before we’ve started.” He raises his head briefly as I make a disappointed noise. “I’ve been thinking about this for too long. I want it to last.”
“Nick, oh God, don’t make me wait.” My voice sounds weak and husky.
“Fuck, you know I’d do anything for you.” He separates us slightly, enough for his hand to slip down my stomach to my pussy. The touch of his finger at my juncture electrifies me and I bite into his shoulder to smother my cry.
Then he moves that finger in slow, torturous circles, and I try to move my hips in time with them but his powerful body keeps me pinned. The pressure builds, intensified by the constant stroke of his mouth on my breasts, neck and lips.
When he finally plunges two fingers in, I am more than ready. I think I gasp his name as the pleasure explodes through me. Nick draws the sensations from me with careful strokes. I must have closed my eyes because when I open them, his blue eyes are intense, focused entirely on me. My chest constricts as I feel like the only person in the world that matters. It’s a feeling I suspect I’ve never experienced.
“Christ, you’re amazing,” he mutters and comes down for a kiss.
I twine my hands in his hair and wonder what he means. He’s the amazing one. That he can bring me so close to the edge so easily is astonishing. Rob rarely managed that.
I’m tempted to reach down and feel his hardness, but I remember he said he didn’t think he could last long so instead I wriggle out from underneath him and coax him onto his back. If I can’t touch, then at least I can admire. He presses his palms into my waist as I straddle him, rake my nails across his solid chest and trace the indents in his stomach. With one finger, I follow the line of hair to his cock and around down to his thighs.
He watches my every movement, his gaze flitting between my face and my breasts as I massage the tops of his legs. Each masculine sound of appreciation makes my body clench.
I offer him a tilted grin as an especially loud groan comes from him, but my smile quickly drops as his eyes grow dark once more. Sitting upright suddenly, he scoops me easily into his arms and scoots to the edge of the bed. With my legs hooked around him, his hands cradling my rear, we’re so close to joined, it’s unbearable.
His mouth is upon mine, hungrily exploring it with his tongue. He pants as he pulls back. “Do you…? Protection…”
“In-in my bedside table.”
Thankfully he’s able to lean over and rummage in the drawer without releasing me. He even keeps kissing me until he has to break away to tear open the packet and sheath himself.
When he finally takes me, it’s sharp and exquisite and almost painful. He fills me perfectly, the hot hardness makes me cry out. Nick mutters an apology but I don’t want to hear regret so I rock into him.
Guided by his hands on my ass, I move experimentally, my body already tight and responsive. It’s nearly unbelievable how much pleasure his cock in me brings. But we can’t hold off too long and Nick’s restraint snaps. His lips are everywhere as he urges me to move harder and faster.
With a subtle growl, he lifts me, still plundering my mouth, and flattens me against the wall. He controls the pace now and it’s frantic and wild. My hands go all over as I try to hold on. The cold press of the wall against my spine is an electrifying contrast to the heat of his chest against my breasts.
I tilt my head back and his lips find my neck as he pounds into me. This is crazed and abandoned sex, as if we’ve both snapped. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline from earlier or whether it’s just Nick, but it’s incredible. I’m pulsing around him, each thrust makes my blood sing. When it hits, it will blow me away and I’m terrified yet so ready for it. If I don’t come soon, I may just explode in spite of my recent orgasm.
The friction inside me builds as he presses harder. I’ll have bruises on my back later but at the moment I don’t care. I want more. More Nick, more sex, more sensation.
“Yes,” I moan as my body contracts around him. “Oh God, yes.”
I’m tense everywhere but there’s no slow build. My climax hits suddenly and sharply, sending my limbs shaking. I squeeze my eyes so tightly that they hurt, while the throbbing continues on and on, making me hot and limp.
Through the pulses inside me, I become aware of Nick’s cock tensing and he lunges several more times, hard, relentless thrusts, before releasing a harsh groan. He milks himself inside me and we pause, sucking down deep breaths, still joined.
The lethargy is already spreading through my limbs, a warm buzzing sensation and I make no protest when he carries me back over to the bed and separates us. I’m vaguely aware of him pressing a kiss to my temple before he pushes my legs under the bedding.
“Wow,” I mutter, not meaning to but unable to prevent myself from saying it anyway.
My eyes are shut and I’m already drifting into a world of abstract thoughts. Nick seems to feature in most of them as I float off.
***
The scent of something rouses me. Coffee. I rub my eyes before pulling them open and glance at the digital clock on my bedside table. Four p.m. Shit, I’ve slept most of the day away. I’m working tonight but I usually only sleep for about six hours during the day when I’m on nights. It means I can squeeze all my chores in and not have to worry about them the next morning.
I run a hand through my mussed hair, grimacing as my fingers meet knots. Knots created by our lovemaking. Is he still here? Surely he hasn’t spent the whole day waiting for me to wake? But he must be if the smell of coffee is anything to go by.
Drawing the sheets away, I eye my naked breasts. Red marks mar them, evidenc
e of our desperation. My heart drops. I can’t believe I let that happen. It was amazing. I squeeze my eyes shut again as my body clenches in remembrance. More than amazing.
But still a mistake.
I can’t be with a soldier ever again and I’ve probably ruined the most important friendship in my life. How can I look at him the same when I know what it feels like—my cheeks enflame—to have him inside me? How can I control myself now I can say exactly what he looks like naked? When he wears those T-shirts, I’ll be able to recall how firm and muscled his chest is. I’ll remember the taste of his skin and the noises he made when I kissed his nipples and stroked his shaft.
Eyes snapping open, I run my hands through my hair again and slide out of bed. I dig out my scruffiest PJs and throw them on. My vanity wants me to look great but I don’t think it’s a good idea right now. If he feels even half of what I feel, then I do not need him being the faintest bit attracted to me when I tell him it won’t happen again.
But then maybe he won’t want it to. Maybe it was a one off. I bite the inside of my cheek as I turn to check my appearance in the full length mirror on my wall. Will we be able to return to normal though? I need Nick’s friendship so much at the moment. I hate to admit it but I’m still finding my feet. He’s the only constant thing in my life.
I pull the door open and peer out. He’s sitting in my kitchen, in the same clothes as this morning. He glances up and flashes me a grin. My stomach curdles. I’m not sure if I can do it.
I sidle in, hands clenched at my sides. He looks so at home in my apartment. He has a cup of coffee in his hands and a newspaper resting on the marbled breakfast bar. This is what it would be like, I realize, to live with Nick. I like it far too much.
No, this isn’t what it would be like, I remind myself. This is not what life with a soldier is normally like.
“Hey, I didn’t know what time you got up when you were on nights and you looked so peaceful, I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.”
I lift my shoulder in a half shrug. “S’okay.”