Savior of Regrets: A Mafia Romance Standalone (Verona Legacy Book 4)

by L A Cotton

  “I know. We should have come to you straightaway, but I—”

  “You were too busy thinking with your heart and not your head.” He cut me with a scathing look.

  “I care about her—”

  “A girl you barely know. I take it you didn’t know she belonged to DiMarco when you tumbled with her between the sheets?”

  Jesus. This was so awkward. I didn’t want to discuss the details of that night with him. Not when just thinking about her soft skin pressed up against mine, the taste of her lips, made my body stir to life.

  I shifted uncomfortably, clearing my throat. “This isn’t about my relationship with Caitlin; it’s about doing what’s right. She needed help and she called Enzo. What were we supposed to do?”

  “You should have called me the second you got to the hospital and realized who she was.”

  “Well, we didn’t. And now she’s our responsibility.”

  He scoffed at that. “Just make sure she doesn’t become your doom, Son. Who else knows about this?”

  “Nicco, Ari, Enzo and Nora, me, Luis… the bellhop would have seen her at Nicco’s place. Maybe security.”

  “We need to contain this before someone talks and word gets out. DiMarco was a loose cannon before, we don’t need to light the fuse on him before we figure out how best to proceed.”

  “I’ll call Nicco and—”

  “No, I’ll handle it. Niccolò has enough on his plate. What’s done is done. We all just have to hope DiMarco doesn’t find out before we’re ready for him to know.”

  I went rigid at that. “What do you mean… before we’re ready for him to know?”

  “Son, be reasonable. We can’t just take out DiMarco. He has a string of businesses, a network of employees. He has connections. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has a contingency plan should we ever feel the need to sever our ties with him.”

  “One way or another, this will get out,” he said. “Unless she disappears, and something tells me you won’t stand by and watch that happen. Anything else you want to tell me…”

  Shit. “The Lombardi.”

  “So you knew.” My father let out an exasperated breath.

  “About the Lombardi sniffing around his clubs, yes.”

  “Porca puttana! And when were you going to bring this to my attention?”

  “I… I’ve been kind of distracted.”

  “By a piece of ass.” He snorted. “I thought I raised you better than that.”

  “No, you raised me to respect women and always do right by them. I learned that from you, Papa.”

  He studied me, shaking his head slightly. “I take it you’re going to break the news to her?”

  “Yeah, she needs to know the truth.” No matter how much it would gut me to tell her.

  “Then go be with her.” He stood and gripped my shoulder. “If she has captured your heart, then she must be a good woman.”

  I swallowed over the giant fucking lump in my throat.

  Because he was right.

  Caitlin had captured my heart. It had taken precisely one intense night with her for me to fall. And not a single day had gone by where my thoughts hadn’t drifted to the redheaded angel who had stolen a piece of me.

  I couldn’t let her vanish, not again.

  But it wasn’t my choice to make.

  Chapter 13

  Caitlin

  Luis was at the door talking to someone.

  Not just anyone.

  Matteo.

  “Cait,” he said, keeping the door half-closed preventing Matteo’s access. “There’s someone here to see you.”

  I could have kissed him for giving me the chance to speak up for myself. For giving me the choice. It wasn’t something I was used to which only made me appreciate it all the more.

  “It’s okay,” I replied. “You can let him in.”

  I wanted to hear what he had to say for himself after his stellar performance this morning.

  But when Matteo stepped inside, I knew immediately that something was wrong.

  “What happened?” I clutched my throat, frozen to the spot.

  “Can you give us a minute?” he asked Luis, who glanced at me.

  “It’s okay.” I nodded.

  “I’m going for a walk. I won’t be far.”

  “She’s safe with me,” Matteo said.

  Luis gave him a curt nod, but I didn’t miss the silent warning in his eyes. It was strange to have someone standing up for me, protecting me. But I liked Luis, I liked him a whole lot. He was easy to be around, if not a little aloof. He didn’t probe or push, and he didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. It made a change to be around such a centered male.

  He left and the air in the cabin turned thick with tension.

  “We should sit,” Matteo suggested.

  “I’d prefer to stand.” I folded my arms around myself, bracing myself for whatever he was about to say.

  “The bartender… Shaun…”

  “Oh God.” Bile rushed up my throat, a wave of nausea battering my insides as I reached out for the counter to steady myself. “He’s… dead?”

  “I’m so sorry,” he started approaching, “I’m so fucking—”

  “Don’t.” I held up my hand. “Just don’t.”

  Shaun.

  Kind, funny, big-hearted Shaun. He’d gotten me out of Providence and delivered me to safety… and this was the thanks he got.

  “D-did … did he suffer?”

  “Cait,” Matteo choked out.

  “Please. I need to know.”

  “It would have happened quickly.” His expression hardened and I knew he was only pacifying me. But it was probably for the best. I didn’t really want to think about what DiMarco and his men had done to Shaun.

  Poor Shaun, he didn’t deserve this.

  It was all my fault.

  I should never have let him talk me into running.

  “What will happen to him?”

  “His family have been notified already.”

  “And the police?”

  Matteo’s eyes flared. “As far as the police are concerned, it was an accident. There will be no further investigation.”

  “But… he was murdered. He was killed by Zander and his…” Tears rolled down my cheeks as reality slammed into me. Zander had done this because of me—to find me.

  “Oh no! What if Shaun talked? What if—”

  “He didn’t know anything past telling you to run. Even if he did talk, he wouldn’t have given DiMarco anything more than he already knows.”

  “He’s really gone?” My voice cracked as I stared at Matteo, silently willing him to fix this. To lie and tell me everything was fine.

  But everything wasn’t fine. And it wouldn’t be, so long as Zander was still out there.

  An idea popped into my head, and I blurted out, “You can kill him, right? Hire someone to take him out, make it look like an accident or something?”

  “It’s not that simple—”

  “Yes, yes, it is. It solves all our problems.”

  “Tink.” He came closer still, close enough to curve his hand around my arm and gently brace me. “There is nothing more I want than to put a bullet between his eyes, but I can’t. Not yet. Not until—”

  “Until what?” I shrieked, a tidal wave of emotion crashing over me. “Until he finds me and points a gun at my head? You said you cared about me. You said you wouldn’t let anything happen to me. You said—”

  “Shh.” He pulled me into his chest, holding me tight. My fingers clawed at his sweater as I sobbed violently against him.

  “I never asked for any of this… I never wanted it.”

  “Shh, Tink. I’ve got you. I’m here.” He nuzzled my hair, breathing me in.

  My heart stuttered in my chest, overwhelmed by all the emotions flowing through me.

  “He won’t stop,” I breathed. “He won’t stop until he finds me, Matteo. And when he does—”

  “No.” He held me at arm’s length, f
orcing me to look at him. “You do not belong to Zander DiMarco, do you hear me? If he wants you, then he’ll have to come through me to get you.”

  My heart swelled but it didn’t last. How could I possibly stand here, swooning, while Shaun lay dead on a steel trolley in the morgue.

  Slowly, the tears subsided as I grew numb. This was my fault.

  My fault.

  “You hungry?” Matteo asked, guiding me over to one of the stools.

  “Not really.”

  “Understandable, but you’ve got to eat something. How about something light?”

  “Fine.” I stared off into space.

  Food was the last thing on my mind, but it had been an intense few days.

  Matteo went to the refrigerator and started collecting up ingredients. “I call this, eggs à la Bellatoni.”

  “If this is your attempt at making me laugh, you might need to try harder.” I sucked in a ragged breath, trying not to succumb to the tears again.

  “Shit, Tink, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.” He blanched, running a hand through his messy, dark-blond hair. Without another word, he rounded the breakfast counter and ran his thumb along the line of my jaw before burying his hand deep into my curls. “I wish I could make this all go away. I wish I could fix it.”

  “Matt,” I breathed, fisting his sweater.

  We stayed like that, wrapped up in one another until Luis came back into the cabin and cleared his throat.

  “A word,” he said to Matteo.

  Matteo glanced down at me, and I nodded. “Go. I’m okay.”

  For a second, I thought he might kiss me, but then he pulled away, following Luis back outside.

  I waited, wondering what could possibly be happening now. But I was too distracted to worry. My heart, too broken to care.

  Shaun was a good guy. He was my friend. And Zander had hurt him because he’d helped me. I still couldn’t believe it. But there was no doubt in my mind now that I could never return to Providence, to my friends there.

  I wondered what Zander had told them, how he’d covered my disappearance.

  I wondered if anyone cared.

  Gisele might. Marielle too. But to a lot of the girls, I was merely the competition. The boss’s pet. They didn’t understand why he’d taken such a shine to me. I didn’t either.

  All I knew was, once he’d set his sights on me, Zander DiMarco’s obsession with me began.

  Matteo came back inside, taking the air with him.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Luis needs to head back into the city.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’ll stay until he returns.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “You know, I came back for you last summer.”

  “W-what?”

  He nodded. “It drove me out of my mind that I didn’t get your number, so a few weeks after, I drove down to Providence and looked you up. Only to find you were gone.”

  “You came for me?” Disbelief coated my voice. Just when I thought Matteo couldn’t do anything more to convince me he was a good guy, he went and said that.

  “I felt something that night, Cait.” He prowled toward me, with slow, sure steps. In that moment, he reminded me of a predator stalking its prey. But I didn’t feel an ounce of fear, only a shiver of anticipation.

  “Something I’d never felt before.” He laid his hand on the side of my neck, gazing down at me. “But you were his… weren’t you?”

  The utter defeat in Matteo’s eyes gutted me. There was so much he didn’t understand, things he didn’t know, that I couldn’t ever tell him.

  But there were some truths I could offer him.

  “The lease was up on that apartment. I couldn’t afford to renew,” I said, grounded by his touch. “He said he knew of an empty apartment in his building.”

  Matteo went rigid, but I kept going. “I didn’t have a choice.”

  Looking back, part of me wondered if Zander was connected with the sudden rental increase on my apartment; if he’d orchestrated the whole thing to get me to move closer to him. It was his MO to act as savior. When really, he was the villain in an expensive suit.

  “Did you and he—”

  “Don’t,” I inhaled a ragged breath. “Don’t ask me that.”

  “I’m just trying to understand… that night, you never said—”

  “Because I wanted to pretend, Matteo,” I snapped. “I wanted to pretend I was just a girl spending a night with a gorgeous, charming guy. A good guy. I haven’t had much experience with those,” I confessed, averting my gaze. Matteo looked at me too intensely, wearing his emotions for all to see.

  It was one of the things I found so attractive about him. He didn’t play games or try to hold the upper hand. He was honest and real, and he wasn’t scared to show or tell you how he felt. It was so refreshing to meet a guy like that.

  But part of me also didn’t trust it.

  Nobody was that perfect, and I couldn’t help but wonder what skeletons he had in his closet.

  He slid his fingers under my jaw and tilted my face back up. “You think I’m charming?” A smile tipped the corner of his mouth.

  “That’s what you’re choosing to hear out of all that?” My brows furrowed.

  “Made you smile though.” He traced the seam of my lips with his thumb, and my tummy clenched. “Your past, whatever did or didn’t happen with DiMarco, it means nothing to me, Caitlin. All I care about is that you’re safe now.”

  “You don’t even know me, Matteo.” If he did—if he knew the truth—he wouldn’t feel the same.

  “I know enough.” His eyes darkened, gazing down at me with reverence. “I know what I felt the night I buried myself deep inside you and heard my name fall from your lips, Tink.”

  He closed the space between us, ghosting his mouth over the corner of mine. A whimper spilled from my lips.

  “We shouldn’t,” I said, not breaking away.

  “Tell me one good reason why?” His fingers glided up my neck and threaded into my hair. The way he held me, with such tenderness and possession, made my heart expand.

  He wouldn’t hurt me. I knew that without a doubt.

  But I wasn’t worried about myself.

  “Let me in, Tink.” He kissed me again, harder this time, sliding his tongue past my lips and tasting me. I was powerless to stop him, melting into his touch. The feel of his hands in my hair and his lips on mine.

  In one smooth move, he picked me up and started carrying me down the hall.

  “Matteo, what are you doing?” I breathed, twining my arms around his neck.

  “What I should have done the second I laid eyes on you again.” Kiss. “Is that good with you?” Kiss.

  “I…” My heart crashed so hard inside my chest I couldn’t think straight.

  “It’s okay.” He nudged my nose with his. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I just want to lie with you, Tink. Kiss you. Hold you in my arms.”

  Gosh, this man. He knew exactly what to say, exactly what to do to make me acquiesce.

  “I am kind of tired.” Soft laughter spilled from my lips, but my heart ached. For Shaun. For me.

  For us.

  Matteo was good. I didn’t doubt that. He was mafioso, yes, but he had a code of ethics. Morals. But if he knew the truth… if he knew what monsters haunted my dreams, he wouldn’t look at me with such reverence.

  He paused on the threshold of my room, sweeping his thumb down my cheek and resting it beneath my bottom lip. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I thought it then… I think it now. If you want to stop… if you want space, or want me to go… just say the word and—”

  “I want this,” I said, pressing my lips to his thumb. He moved it away, but I caught it in my mouth, sucking the tip.

  “Fuck,” he rasped. “Keep that up, Tink, and all my good intentions will go out the window.”

  I chuckled again, snuggling closer to him as he walked me i
nside the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. Matteo lowered me onto the bed and gazed down at me, making my stomach clench with delicious anticipation. I couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at me with such hunger and desire. As if I was the center of their universe. The most precious thing to walk the Earth.

  The feeling coursed through me, making me feel more confident than I had in a long time. “Come here.” I crooked my finger at him.

  “Patience, Tink,” he said, slipping his hands to the hem of his sweater and yanking it off his body. My eyes went straight to the ink decorating his skin. The Eagle swooping over his shoulder and down his chest, the flowers curving around his biceps and trailing down his arm. The wicked skull sitting on his opposite shoulder. Matteo’s body was a work of art, and I was the sculptor who wanted to run my hands over every dip and curve to appreciate something so perfectly formed.

  “What?” he asked, looming over me.

  “You’re… beautiful.”

  “Beautiful, huh?” A smile tugged at his mouth. “I’ve been called a lot of things in my time, Tink, but I don’t think I’ve ever been called beautiful.”

  My cheeks burned. “Maybe we should stop talking now.” I scooched back to give him space to lie down, and he did, unfurling his big body beside me so we were lying face to face.

  “Hi,” he said, tucking a stray curl behind my ear.

  “Hi.”

  “I love your hair. Your eyes… Your smile.”

  I blushed harder at his words. “It took me a long time to accept my wild curls.”

  “You know, I’ve heard redheads tend to have a fiery temper.” Matteo’s brow lifted.

  “Maybe, a long time ago.” But it had been long beaten out of me.

  I hadn’t realized I’d dropped my gaze until Matteo gently gripped my chin and lifted my face back to his. “Right here, right in this moment, the past stays where it belongs. This is about you and me.”

  It wasn’t.

  It was about so much more than that. But I wanted to pretend. I wanted to join him in the fantasy. Just like I had that night all those months ago.

  “Come here.” He buried his hand into my hair and curved it around the nape of my neck, drawing me closer. His lips teased mine, kissing the corner of my mouth, my jaw, pecking the end of my nose.