Savior of Regrets: A Mafia Romance Standalone (Verona Legacy Book 4)

by L A Cotton

  “It’s a good quality to have,” I murmured, draining my glass. Something told me I was going to need a lot more where that came from if I was going to survive tonight.

  “What would you go after, Sia?” Bella mused. “If you could have anything, what would it be?”

  “I don’t know.” Nicco’s sister gave a half-shrug. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

  “Oh, don’t give me that. There must be something… or maybe, someone.” Arabella waggled her eyebrows.

  “Is there a boy at school you like?” I asked.

  “Try man,” Bella coughed, smirking.

  “Bella!”

  “What? I think Tristan is hot too.”

  “Tristan, who is he… remind me again?” I said.

  “Arianne’s cousin. The man is fine with a capital F. But he’s older. Too old. And he’s technically family now. I guess it’s weird.”

  “I don’t like Tristan, Bella. You’re being ridiculous.”

  “It’s not like Matteo or Nicco will ever let us date anyway.” Arabella flopped back into the heap of cushions and looked up at the ceiling. “No one will ever be good enough in their eyes.”

  “You won’t be sixteen forever,” I said. “In a couple of years, you’ll be your own woman. Old enough to make your own decisions.”

  Her eyes slid to mine. “You have met the three of them, right?”

  “They just care. You should feel very lucky to have them.” My chest constricted with every word.

  If only I had a big brother or an older cousin to look out for me, things might have gone differently.

  But I didn’t.

  And I couldn’t spend my life living in the past, when I was constantly trying to figure out how to live in the present.

  “Did you ever dance at the club?” Arabella asked me out of nowhere.

  “I… uh, at first, for a little bit. But I didn’t like it.”

  “You didn’t?” She leaned up on her elbows.

  “No. You see, I used to dance. Before I moved to Providence.”

  “In a strip club?”

  “No, in a dance company.”

  “What kind of dance?”

  “Anything. Ballet. Jazz. Lyrical. Contemporary.”

  “That’s so cool. I always wanted to be a ballerina when I was a kid, but I have the coordination of Bambi.”

  “I’m sure you don’t.”

  “Oh, she does,” Alessia piped up, chuckling

  “You said you used to dance?”

  “Yeah.” My heart cracked. “I had to stop.”

  “Why?”

  “I… I moved here and life got in the way.”

  The truth was, I hadn’t had the extra money for lessons. And then, once Zander found out I loved to dance, he’d put me to good use. And I hated him for it. I respected the dancers at DiMarco’s, admired them even. They owned their bodies and used them to their full advantage. But dancing was something I never wanted to be used against me, ever again.

  Something I would never forgive him for.

  “There’s an amazing theater in the city. They have an in-house ballet company. One of the best in New England. We should go one time. I’m sure Nicco could get—”

  “Bella,” Alessia chided, shaking her head.

  “That would be nice,” I said, wanting to break the sudden tension.

  Thankfully, Nora and Arianne chose that moment to rejoin us. “What did we miss?” Nora asked.

  “Caitlin is a dancer.” Bella beamed. “A ballet dancer.”

  “No way.”

  I nodded, tucking my hair behind my ears. “An old hobby I don’t get much time for these days.”

  Sympathy flickered in Nora’s gaze. She hadn’t pressed me about anything; neither had Arianne. But it was always there, in the space between us. The elephant in the room.

  “Hey, we should speak to the guys about a girls’ night out sometime. Maybe if—” Nora stopped herself, guilt shining in her eyes. “Shit, my bad.”

  “What?” Bella asked. “What is it?”

  “Nothing.” I forced a smile. I didn’t want them to worry, and I didn’t want her or Alessia to look at me any differently. Because I wasn’t sure I could face becoming a victim in the eyes of these innocent pure girls, still full of dreams and hopes and so much goodness it radiated from them like sunshine.

  Arianne switched the conversation to a safer topic, telling us about her work at the Verona County Transitions Initiative. But I wasn’t paying much attention.

  Neither was Arabella, as she discreetly texted someone on her phone.

  When she was done, she glanced up at me, her expression wavering for a second. But then an easy smile slid over her face as if she hadn’t just been caught red-handed texting her brother.

  The next day at lunch, I didn’t expect to find Luis waiting for me with a garment bag.

  “W-what is that?”

  “A surprise.” His eyes twinkled. “We leave at six-thirty.”

  Leave?

  “Where are we going?” My stomach fluttered, but I didn’t know if it was with excitement or apprehension. Maybe even both.

  “Like I said, it’s a surprise.” He left the bag draped over the back of the couch and slipped out of the cabin, leaving me alone.

  I moved closer, plucking the small envelope from the clear pocket in the bag.

  Let me make it up to you. M xo

  Shivers raced up and down my spine as I slowly pulled the zipper, revealing a gorgeous, deep-green gown. It was fit for a princess, the bodice fitted and woven with delicate lace. The skirt was thick and luscious.

  It was beautiful.

  Confused, and a little out of my depth, I snatched my cell phone off the counter and texted Matteo.

  What happened to house arrest?

  His reply came instantly.

  Give me a chance to get this right, please…

  Why? Why is this so important to you?”

  I glanced back at the gown, hardly able to believe my eyes. No one had ever bought me such a beautiful gift.

  I didn’t know what to think. Was this Matteo’s attempt at buying me or was he merely trying to apologize and do something nice for me? Arabella hadn’t mentioned him again last night, and I certainly hadn’t brought it up. I was grateful for their company, even if watching them leave was a cold reminder of my situation.

  Another reply pulled me from my thoughts.

  I care, Caitlin. Let me prove it.

  I clutched my cell phone, biting down on my bottom lip. He wasn’t going to give up without a fight, and the truth was, I didn’t want him to.

  I wanted him to fight for me. I wanted Matteo to do what no person had ever done for me.

  Before I could talk myself out of it, I texted back.

  Okay.

  Great, see you later… and Cait, I can’t wait to see you in the dress.

  I was in trouble.

  So much trouble.

  Matteo made it so hard to hate him. But could I do it? Could I become his… woman? It would put me in the public eye more. There would be photos and press reports. If I was around Nicco and Arianne, there was every chance I would become noticed.

  The smart decision was to reject him and the dress and wait it out.

  I wasn’t for sale.

  Not now, not ever.

  But Matteo was different—I knew he was.

  It was one night.

  One night of freedom. One night to pretend that I was just a girl, and he was just a guy.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone on a date, a real honest-to-God date.

  It had been too long, that much was certain.

  I was pretty sure guys didn’t usually forward their dates brand-new dresses. I spied the shoebox on the sideboard… and shoes. Oh God, he’d sent shoes.

  “You’re full of surprises, Matteo Bellatoni,” I murmured to myself, lifting the lid and admiring the black kitten heels with a red sole. A red freaking sole.

  What w
as happening?

  This morning, I’d been on the verge of making a run for it to escape Matteo and his overbearing ruthless family. This afternoon, I was swooning over a new pair of Louboutins and a dress fit for a princess.

  I wanted to tell him he couldn’t buy my affection, but the truth was, I wanted it. I wanted one night to play dress up and forget the shitshow that was my life.

  Which is why I found myself texting him back.

  I’ll be waiting.

  The knock at the door sent my heart into overdrive. I’d taken my time getting ready. A long soak in a bubble bath, followed by a glass of wine thanks to Luis, while I finished getting myself together. I’d left my hair down, sweeping one side off my face and pinning it into place. My curls were thick and luscious, and my makeup was simple and understated.

  I felt beautiful.

  I also couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a huge mistake.

  But when I opened the door to reveal Matteo dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt and dinner jacket, there was no going back.

  “For you,” he said, holding out a single red rose.

  “Thank you.” I blushed, inhaling the floral scent before taking it over to the breakfast counter and adding it to a glass of water. “Are you sure this is okay?”

  He nodded, his eyes dancing over my body. “Caitlin, you look… wow.”

  A faint smile tugged at my mouth.

  “Tonight, we’re just Matteo and Caitlin, okay?” He stepped forward, reaching for my face and brushing the stray hairs away. His eyes glittered with desire and in that moment I felt beautiful. “Nothing else matters,” he leaned in and whispered against my cheek, kissing me softly.

  “Okay.” I gazed up at him, lost in his deep-blue eyes. He looked so good and smelled amazing. It was like a dream. A really good one I didn’t want to wake up from.

  I didn’t have those often.

  “Ready?”

  It was my turn to nod. Matteo took my hand and led me out of the cabin.

  “Miss O’Donnell,” Luis smirked as he opened the back door to the sleek black SUV.

  “Seriously?” My brow lifted at Matteo, and he chuckled.

  “It’s just a precaution.”

  Right. Because I was in hiding so that Zander didn’t find me.

  My heart ratcheted.

  “Maybe this isn’t such—”

  “Shh.” Matteo smoothed his thumb over my hand. “You’re safe, I promise. No one will even know we’re there.”

  “And where is there exactly?”

  “You’ll see. Come on.”

  He nudged me into the SUV, sliding in beside me. I half-expected for him to keep some distance between us, but Matteo was full of surprises, taking my hand again and keeping it in his lap. As if he needed a physical tether to me.

  The thought made me smile. That I could bring this strong, gorgeous mafioso to his knees.

  Don’t get carried away with yourself, Cait. I ignored the little voice on my shoulder and sank back into the leather seats, determined to follow Matteo’s lead tonight.

  Thirty minutes later though, when we pulled up outside The Montague Grand Theater, I struggled to keep my composure.

  “Matt,” I gasped, cupping a hand over my mouth as I stared at the lit-up billboard hanging over the beautiful, imposing building.

  “Romeo and Juliet,” I murmured, “I-I don’t understand.” I gawked at him.

  “Arabella said you used to dance. In fact, I think her exact words were, ‘Matt, she’s a ballerina. A real-life ballerina.’”

  Soft laughter spilled from my lips.

  “I managed to pull some strings.” He gave me a shy smile. “I hope it’s okay?”

  “Okay?” My throat was dry. “It’s… it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I don’t know what to say.” I glanced back up at the signage, hardly able to believe my eyes. Tickets to these performances didn’t come cheap and I knew he’d probably called in some big favors to make this happen.

  I couldn’t stop smiling.

  “Luis, take us around back please. Pascale is meeting us at the stage door.”

  I frowned and Matteo squeezed my hand. “Precautions. We have a private box that comes with VIP treatment. Besides,” his voice dipped, sending a shiver through me. “This way I get you all to myself.”

  Chapter 22

  Matteo

  I couldn’t take my eyes off Caitlin. The dress clung to her curves as I guided her into our private box. The tickets had cost me a small fortune, but the second Arabella had texted me telling me that Caitlin liked ballet, the idea had taken root.

  Nicco had forbidden it at first. I wasn’t supposed to be parading Caitlin around the city. So I’d done what any desperate man would—I begged.

  Luis could drive us right to the stage door, and we could slip in and out before anyone was the wiser. Pascale Moretti, the theater director, was a family friend. My mama loved the ballet, but my father only ever brought her for a special occasion: anniversaries or birthdays. I’d been once, as a child. I remembered being in awe of the opulent building. There was a giant chandelier in the foyer and a split staircase that ran around each side of the entrance. It was all very art nouveau with its gold-plated décor and stylized balconies and railings.

  “Right this way, Mr. Bellatoni,” Pascale led us up the staircase and down a long hall, pushing open a small door. “You’ll find the bottle of Bollinger chilling along with the other items you requested.”

  “Thank you, Pascale.” I took his hand, gripping it firmly. “I appreciate it.”

  “Of course, Mr. Bellatoni. Enjoy the production.

  “Thank you.” Caitlin smiled, her eyes glittering with wonder.

  I liked that look on her, and wanted to put it there more often.

  “Come on, the show is about to start.” I ushered her onto the balcony.

  “Oh my God, Matteo. This is—” She grasped the rail and looked out over the stage. It was the best seat in the house, a perfect view of the stage and orchestra seated down in the pit below.

  I stepped up behind her, sliding my arm around her waist and I dropped my mouth to her ear. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

  “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  I’ve never seen anything like you. I swallowed the words, leaning closer to breathe her in.

  We’d only just arrived, and already, I never wanted this moment to end.

  “We should sit,” I said, guiding her over to the chairs. I needed a second. Being so close, with her looking like that, it was hard to rein in the storm of emotions raging inside me.

  I wanted to kiss her, to take her in my arms and plunge my tongue deep into her mouth and taste her. I wanted to drown in her and never come up for air.

  Did she have any idea the effect she had on me?

  It was like I wasn’t in control of myself. The urge to touch her, move closer, burning through me like wildfire.

  “Champagne?” I asked her, trying to get a grip on myself.

  “Yes, please.” Caitlin handed me a glass and I popped the cork from the bottle, filling her glass. After I filled my own, I lifted it into the air.

  “A toast.”

  “What are we celebrating?” She batted her eyelashes at me, and I almost drowned in her green eyes.

  “One night of possibilities.”

  “Possibilities?” Her brow quirked, a smile touching her lips.

  “Yes,” I leaned in, ghosting my mouth over hers. “A night of endless possibilities.” My eyes held Caitlin’s, the air crackling between us the way it did whenever we were close. I wanted to kiss her. Fuck, did I want to kiss her.

  The lights dimmed, the opening notes of the violin rising above the eerie silence. Caitlin grabbed my hand, squeezing tightly as the prima ballerina entered centerstage. I turned my palm, threading our fingers together, taking whatever I could get from her.

  Her expression was animated as the story unfolded. I felt every emotion that played on he
r face. Every high and surprise. Every gasp and sigh. Caitlin leaned forward more than once, as if trying to get closer. The first act stole her breath and her heart… and she stole mine.

  I wanted this woman. I wanted her in a way I couldn’t explain. There was still every chance she would reject me, but I had to try.

  The curtain fell and applause filled the theater. Caitlin shot to her feet, clapping and smiling. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “Here,” I said, turning into her to wipe them away with the pad of my thumb.

  “That was so beautiful. I… I don’t know what to say.”

  “There’s still another act to go yet.” I chuckled, letting my thumb linger on her skin. “Are you hungry?”

  Her eyes went past me to the small table tucked in the shadows.

  “Come.” I led Caitlin back to her chair and retrieved the plate of chocolate covered strawberries.

  “Anyone would think you were trying to seduce me, Matteo Bellatoni.”

  “Is it working?” I smirked, bringing one of the strawberries to her lips. I didn’t consider myself a jealous guy, but in that moment, as Caitlin opened her mouth and took a bite, I was burning with jealousy all over a piece of fruit.

  “These are good.” She let out a soft moan, and I almost came on the spot. “Here, you try one.” Caitlin plucked another strawberry off the plate and fed it to me.

  “You’re right.” I grinned, licking the juice off my lips. “This does taste good. But not as good as you.” Sliding my hand along her neck, I pulled her face to mine, kissing her softly.

  A whimper bubbled in her throat as she parted her lips for me. Our tongues tangled; deep, lazy strokes that had me wishing we were somewhere a little more private. Not that anyone could see us up here.

  “I could kiss you all night and never grow tired of it.”

  “Matt,” she breathed, slipping her hands up my chest.

  “Tell me you feel it, Tink. I know you do.” I pulled back to stare her in the eye. Caitlin’s cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright with desire. She wanted me, there was no denying that.