Savior of Regrets: A Mafia Romance Standalone (Verona Legacy Book 4)

by L A Cotton

  Sadly, there were no heroes in this story.

  And no happy endings.

  Chapter 20

  Matteo

  “That bad, huh?” Enzo asked me as I lay sprawled on the couch.

  “She’s pissed.”

  “Are you surprised?” He chuckled.

  “Yes… No… Fuck, I don’t know what to think.” Dragging a hand down my face, I let out a heavy sigh. “There’s something between us, E. Something real. I thought… I thought she might be willing to explore that.”

  “You blindsided her.”

  “Did you know it would go this way when we brought her back to Verona?”

  “I knew once Uncle Michele and Al got wind of it, they’d want assurances. You know that’s how it works.”

  “Yeah…” I guess I’d just hoped it wouldn’t be like this. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

  “Give her some space. Caitlin has every right to feel betrayed. Let her cool off.”

  “I just don’t like the idea of her out there all alone.”

  “So, we’ll send the girls. I’m sure Arianne won’t mind going out there and Nora is dying to meet her. They can even take Alessia and Bella.”

  “I guess…”

  “What is it?” He paused. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Dropping my eyes to the bottle in my hand, I weighed on whether to tell him or not. But I needed to talk to someone.

  “I slept with her.”

  “Of course you did.” I could almost hear his eyes roll.

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “You look at her the way Nicco looks at Arianne. The way I look at Nora. She’s yours, Matt. She just hasn’t figured it out yet.”

  “And if I lose her because of this?”

  “You won’t.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “You might be a soft pussy, but you still have Marchetti blood in your veins. We don’t give up what’s ours without a fight.”

  His words sank into me. Was he right? Was it only a matter of time before Caitlin realized what I already knew?

  We were supposed to find each other again. Even in the dire circumstances, we were both supposed to end up right here. Together. I refused to believe it was anything less than Fate working her will.

  “I’ll be lucky if she’ll ever talk to me again,” I huffed, draining my beer.

  Enzo chuckled again. “So make her.”

  It was my turn to roll my eyes. “And how does that go down with Nora?”

  “She’d tell you she hates it when I get all bossy, but secretly, she loves it. Gets her all hot for me.”

  “Okay, that was too much information.”

  “She especially likes it when I tie her up and—”

  “Jesus, what is wrong with you? I don’t want to hear your sex stories.”

  “Did Caitlin already put your balls in her purse? Because you sound like a fucking pussy.”

  “Fuck off,” I grumbled. Just because I didn’t want to share all the details about my sex life. I respected women too much to do that.

  “What’s happening there anyway? Shouldn’t you be stalking DiMarco’s?”

  “Not a lot, not yet anyway, Anyway, I wanted to speak to you first. Make sure you’ve got your head screwed on right.”

  “I feel like I’m losing my damn mind.”

  “Women, cous, they’ll do that to a guy.”

  “You’ll call me if you find out anything?”

  “You know it.”

  “And DiMarco?”

  “Let’s hope he refuses to give us the intel on Lombardi, so I get the pleasure of reminding him of our agreement.”

  “Make it hurt.” I snorted.

  “I will. DiMarco will get his, Matt. Whether it’s tomorrow or next week or sometime in the future.”

  I dipped my head in an appreciative nod.

  A knock at the door startled me, and I padded over to the door to open it.

  “Enzo sent reinforcements.”

  “Seriously?” I groaned down the line.

  “What? I thought she could give you another pep talk.”

  “Here,” I said, handing her the phone. “He wants to talk to you.”

  “Hi, babe. I’m missing you.” Nora moved deeper into the apartment, dropping her purse on the counter. “Yeah, I miss you too.”

  Her voice lowered and I heard her giggle as they exchanged sweet nothings.

  Lucky bastard.

  Nora let out a soft whimper as he no doubt let her know exactly how much he was missing her.

  “Babe, we have company,” she scolded, covering the receiver to mouth, “Sorry, Matt,” at me.

  “No apology needed.” I forced a smile. “I actually need to get off soon. I promised Bella I’d pick her and Alessia up and take them for ice-cream.”

  “How’re things with Caitlin?”

  “Don’t ask.”

  “That bad?”

  “She’ll come around,” Enzo shouted down the line, so Nora put him on speaker.

  “She’s been through a lot. Cut her some slack.”

  “I know.”

  I did. But that only made it worse. I wanted to help her, to be there for her and support her. I didn’t want to be on the sidelines.

  “Gattina, how do you feel about going out to the cabin to spend some time with her and the girls?” Enzo asked. “Matt thinks she could use the company.”

  “Hell yes.” She grinned. “Count me in. Some female perspective might help her see things a little differently too.”

  “No meddling,” I warned. “She already doesn’t trust me. I don’t need you giving her any more ammunition.”

  Nora gasped. “I’m offended you think I’d mess it up. I can be quite persuasive when I put my mind to it. Ask Enzo.” She smirked, and my cousin snorted down the line.

  “I think we both know who’s in charge around here,” he said. “I’m telling you, cous,” he added. “If you really think she’s the one, fight for her. Fight until she doesn’t have any choice but to give in to you.”

  “Who are you and what have you done with my cousin?” Amusement filled my voice.

  “Here,” Nora handed me back the cell phone. “I need to pee. Bye babe, video call me later and we can do that thing.” She took off down the hall and I turned off the loudspeaker.

  “That thing?” I muttered. “Please tell me you’re not going to have phone sex while you’re supposed to be scoping out DiMarco?”

  “I’m telling you cous, one day, I’m going to marry that woman and put my kid in her stomach.” He let out a contented sigh.

  Jealousy snaked through me.

  I wanted that.

  I wanted it all…

  With a woman who probably hated me now.

  “You’re not coming inside?” Bella asked as she climbed out of the truck. It was the day after Enzo had suggested the girls visit Caitlin, and I had to admit it wasn’t his worst idea ever.

  “No, I… No.”

  “What happened with you two anyway? I heard Nicco and Ari talking and—”

  “Just adult stuff.”

  “Adult stuff. Really, Matt? You’re barely four years older than me.”

  “Listen, Bella, I could use your help a little here. Caitlin is… well, she’s pissed at me.”

  “And you want me to try to smooth the cracks?”

  “Something like that.” Was this what my life had really come to? Asking my little sister to score me brownie points with the woman I couldn’t stop thinking about?

  “I only want her safe, Bella. That’s all that matters to me.”

  “She’ll come around.” Arabella smiled. “No one can resist your charm for long.”

  “Thanks.” I chuckled, but it sounded strained. “Go on, get inside.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come inside and see her?”

  My eyes went to the cabin. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  Sadness crept in
to my sister’s expression. “Okay. But don’t worry, I’ll work my magic on her.” Bella winked before taking off toward the cabin.

  This was a good idea, bringing the girls here. I didn’t want Caitlin to think she was our captive. And she’d seemed at ease around Ari, Alessia, and Bella. Of course, I had no doubt Nora would insert herself into our fledgling relationship, or whatever was left of it. But I’d take whatever I could get.

  Nicco kissed Arianne before watching her disappear inside, then he got into the truck.

  “You’re not taking the Range Rover?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I figured we could ride together. Then you can bring me back later.”

  Sneaky.

  But I couldn’t deny that having an excuse to come back out here was welcomed.

  As I pulled onto the dirt road leading back to the highway, I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw Caitlin watching us.

  I had to fight the urge to pull a U-turn and go back for her, to demand she heard me out. But she wanted time, and I would give it to her.

  “She’ll come around,” Nicco said as if he heard my thoughts.

  “I’m not so sure.” I glanced in the mirror again, but she was gone.

  Maybe she’d never been there at all.

  “I know you… feel something for her. But what do you really know about her, Matt?”

  My brows furrowed. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  If anyone got it, I thought it would be Nicco. He’d fallen for Arianne in a heartbeat, not realizing who she really was until it was too late.

  Theirs had been a case of star-crossed lovers. The tragic kind. The kind that ended in death and heartache. But they had survived. He’d gotten the girl and the life he wanted with her.

  So yeah, I thought he might understand how it felt to fall so deeply into someone without ever truly knowing them.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” he rolled his eyes. “I don’t have the luxury of being sentimental, not now.” Not since his father had been taken sick. “I have to make decisions in the best interests of our business. Decisions that protect everything the Family has built. You know that.”

  “I know. Fuck, Nic, I know that. But if anyone understood, I thought… it doesn’t matter.” I released a strained breath, keeping my eyes on the road.

  “I get it, I do. I’m just worried. She has you all twisted up in knots and I know that feeling well. It leaves you unable to see straight.” It was his turn to sigh. “All I’m saying is, tread carefully. You said it yourself, she’s hiding something. I don’t want you to be blindsided.”

  “Yeah.” I didn’t expand.

  His words left a bitter taste in my mouth. So it was okay for him and Enzo to pursue women who they knew deserved more than this life, but the first time I actually showed any interest in a girl, it was deemed irresponsible?

  Fuck that.

  Caitlin was entitled to her secrets after what she’d survived at the hands of DiMarco.

  Nothing she could tell me would change how I felt; of that, I was sure. Because you didn’t pick the people you cared about, the people you loved. It wasn’t something you could control or switch off. It was something you couldn’t fight. Something you couldn’t ignore.

  “I just keep thinking what happens after, you know? Once this shit with DiMarco is handled. What then? If she doesn’t want me, what will you do?”

  “I’m not a monster, Matteo. This you know.”

  “I know. But you are the boss now. I understand that comes with responsibility.”

  “Once we decide what to do with DiMarco, Caitlin will be safe. I’ll see to it personally. You have my word.”

  “You’ll make her disappear,” I said, the pit in my stomach stretching.

  “It’s the only way, Matt, and you know it. Unless—”

  “Unless she decides to stay and be with me.”

  That was it then.

  If Caitlin didn’t choose me once this was all over, she’d be gone, and I’d never see her again.

  Nicco, with the help of our trusted associates, would make her disappear. Give her a new life in exchange for her silence.

  I guess I should have felt lucky she wouldn’t find herself buried in a ditch somewhere, never to be found again. But I couldn’t find it in myself to feel anything but a stab of regret.

  Surely the universe wouldn’t be so cruel to bring her back into my life and then take her away again?

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

  “Me too,” I murmured as realization sank deep into my bones.

  Everything was changing.

  It had always been the three of us—Nicco, Enzo, and me—against the world. Then he met Arianne, and Enzo found Nora. But I was okay with that because seeing them happy was worth being the fifth wheel. I didn’t feel like an outsider then. But now, sitting there with Nicco, the guy I’d loved like a brother for my entire life, I couldn’t help but feel the power imbalance between us.

  He was no longer just my cousin, my best friend, my family. He was the boss. He couldn’t let his familiarity or attachment to me get the better of him, and I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t.

  Just like I knew if Caitlin refused to give us a chance—refused to give me a chance—after this shit with DiMarco went away, I’d probably never see her again.

  What did you do to her?

  I stared at Bella’s text message, reading the words over and over again.

  What’s wrong?

  She seems… sad.

  Fuck.

  There’s some stuff you don’t know…

  Arabella’s reply came straight through.

  Isn’t there always.

  Even over a cell phone, I felt the bite to her words.

  Is she okay?

  I don’t know. She seems off, but she won’t talk about it. I tried to talk about you, and she completely shut down.

  I tipped my head back against the couch and let out a weary sigh. When we’d gotten back to Verona, I’d asked Nicco to drop me off at the apartment. I hadn’t officially moved out of my parents’ house, but sometimes, I needed the space.

  But space from Caitlin was the last thing I wanted. It felt like there was an ocean between us.

  Just be there for her. She’s had a rough time of it. She needs a friend.

  Alessia and Arabella might have been younger, but they were wise beyond their years. I guess that’s what happened when you grew up in a family like ours. We tried to protect them as much as we could, but they both had a knack of uncovering the truth.

  God help the men who stole their hearts. A shudder went through me. I didn’t want to think of my sister falling in love. Not now. Not ever. But I wasn’t stupid enough to know it wouldn’t happen one day.

  My cell vibrated again, and I opened the message, my breath catching at my sister’s reply.

  Maybe she needs more than a friend.

  I screwed my eyes shut, forcing myself to take a deep breath. That’s all I wanted—to be Caitlin’s guy. To be there for her, to protect her.

  To love her.

  This was bigger than the both of us though. Bigger than what I wanted, or Caitlin needed.

  It was about the Family. The Family I’d sworn my loyalty—my life—to.

  But it had never felt more of a burden than it did in that moment.

  Chapter 21

  Caitlin

  “She did not,” Arabella and Alessia giggled as I told them about the time Marielle had kicked a guy in the balls for getting too handsy with her.

  Nicco and Matteo probably didn’t want me corrupting their little sisters with stories from the strip club. But it wasn’t like I had anything else to tell them. My childhood wasn’t normal. There were no cute stories about my high school boyfriend and prom. I didn’t have a romantic first-time story or any anecdotes from being on the cheer squad or being student body president.

  “What happened to the guy?”

  �
�He had to ice his balls.”

  Nora stifled a chuckle while Arianne looked a little horrified.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “Relax, babe,” Nora said. “This is the best thing I’ve heard all day. Besides, serves the asshole right for touching instead of looking.”

  I liked Nora. She was feisty in a way I’d always wished I was. She and Arianne had turned up armed with wine and the five of us had spent the last couple of hours sitting around, drinking and talking. It was nice. Normal even.

  But I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was Matteo’s attempt at softening me up to the ultimatum he’d dropped on me.

  “Who’s that?” Alessia asked Bella who was clutching her cell phone.

  “No one.” Her eyes flicked to mine but quickly dropped when I frowned.

  Matteo.

  Even now, he was keeping an eye on me, using his sister to do his bidding.

  I didn’t know how to feel about that.

  But I couldn’t deny that part of me liked that he cared so much. Not that it changed anything.

  “This is nice,” Nora said. “Taking a break from city life.”

  “You mean from Enzo.” Bella snickered.

  “I mean, I love the guy, but let a girl breathe.” She grinned. “But the sex… holy mother of God, the sex is—”

  “Okay, Nor.” Arianne leaned over and covered her friend’s mouth. “I think that’s enough wine for you, and definitely enough share time.”

  “They’re not kids, Ari. They know all about the birds and bees. Hell, I bet they’ve already—”

  “Okay.” Arianne grabbed Nora’s arm and yanked her up. “We’ll just be in the kitchen. Getting Nora a nice, big glass of cold water.”

  “Yes, Mom.” Nora rolled her eyes, as she let Arianne pull her away.

  “God, I want to be Nora when I’m older,” Bella let out a deep sigh. “She’s just so… confident, you know? She knows what she wants, and she goes after it. I admire that.”