Abby frowned. "Aren't you coming in?"
Nathan gave her a look that seemed to combine regret and sadness. Abby felt her heart sink. It was going to be like this after all, she thought.
"I think I'll stay out here for a while, if you don't mind, Abigail," he said quietly.
"But why...?" Abby started to ask. She took one look at his pained expression and stopped herself from asking a truly awkward question.
Nathan lowered his gaze for a moment. When his head rose, his eyes were shining slightly. "I don't rightly know how to explain it Abigail. I think it's just best that I remain here for a while. I need the air," he said slowly.
Abby nodded. "Okay Nathan. I understand. At least I think I do," she said.
"I know you do, Abby. Get a good rest. I'll see you in the morning," he said with a note finality.
Abby's heart sank, her stomach curled and her legs felt weak. How could he do this to her? On their wedding night. She felt crushed.
Her wedding night.
She leaned against the door to steady herself. Nathan looked at her for a moment as he began to turn away. He seemed about to ask if she was okay. But then he paused.
Abby straightened herself up, standing tall. She wasn't going to let him see how she was feeling. If he needed the time to be by himself, then so be it.
She turned quickly and closed the door softly behind her.
Abigail Grantly wouldn't have a wedding night to remember. The more she thought about it the evening had turned out to be a wedding night she would never forget.
CHAPTER NINE
Abby awoke during the night and she was alone.
The bed seemed huge with only her in it. She ran her hand through her hair and tried to convince herself that the events of earlier that evening had been a nasty dream.
Nathan's absence in the bed told her it had been only too true. But where was he? Surely he wouldn't be sleeping somewhere else tonight of all nights.
She sighed and got up out of the bed and wrapped a gown around herself and put her slippers on. She went to the window and peered out into the darkness. It was almost pitch dark outside. Only a few small lamps hung on the doorways of the quarters of the ranch hands cast any light.
Then her eyes caught a flash of light moving away from the house.
It was Nathan.
He held a lamp in front of him and he was walking away from the house and out past the corral. It looked like he was heading uphill away to the rear of the house. Abby didn't know for sure what was up there.
Maybe now was the time to find out.
She ran downstairs and outside, following the direction of where she had seen Nathan heading. As she rounded the corner of the ranch house she saw the light from Nathan's lamp up ahead.
He was heading up a trail that led away from the collection of outbuildings, some of which housed the ranch hands. There was only darkness up there as far as Abby could make out.
She made her way forward, tripping and stumbling from time to time. She tried to make as little noise as possible. Nathan didn't turn around, seemingly so intent on his destination that even the sounds of Abby behind him weren't noticed.
The trail headed up a hill that became increasing steep until eventually it flattened out onto a wide, flat ridge.
There were a few scattered trees on the flat area. Nathan had stopped. He'd placed the lamp down on the ground in front of him.
Abby took up a position behind one of the trees. She was out of breath and feeling cold. Peering into the darkness she tried to make out what Nathan was standing in front of. There seemed to be some sort of rectangular bulk which Nathan had taken up a position in front of.
Then it came to her.
It was a grave!
And it could only be the grave of one person.
Nathan had come up to his wife's grave in the middle of the night.
Suddenly Abby felt she shouldn't be there any longer. It was not her place to intrude on such a quiet, private moment such as this. She had no place standing behind a tree, watching her new husband standing by the graveside, like this.
Then she heard a sound and she knew she shouldn't be there.
In the dark, under the stars of the Montana sky, hiding behind a tree in the middle of the night which should have been her wedding night, Abby distinctly heard Nathan speak.
She couldn't make out what he was saying. He was too far away for her to hear the words. But she could tell by his tone of voice that the words he was speaking by his deceased wife's graveside were sad. Unutterably sad.
Abby felt a lump rise in her throat. She tried to swallow, but she couldn't. In spite of herself she felt her eyes moisten. The image of Nathan standing there just affected her in a way that she could barely control.
She knew that if she cried out he would know she was there. If he turned and saw her skulking in the dark, spying on his intimate moment, what would he think of her?
Abby could barely contain the emotion she was feeling. He wouldn't understand why she had followed him.
Nathan's voice carried to her once again in the cool night air. Abby leaned back against the tree, wrenching her eyes away from the sight of Nathan. She gazed up at the stars twinkling through the bare branches of the tree.
If he discovered her hiding behind this tree she would never forgive herself.
She peered quickly around the tree. Nathan still had his back to her and he was still speaking.
Now was her moment.
Abby stepped away from the tree and made her way swiftly and quietly off the flat area and back onto the track.
She could just about see the house down at the bottom of the rise. It was so dark she couldn't see in front of her feet and she had to gingerly place one foot in front of the other. The hill seemed steeper going down than it had coming up. Abby stumbled a few times but eventually she made it to the house. It was with the greatest relief she had ever felt that she ran up the stairs, threw open the door to the bedroom and leapt onto the bed.
Up on the hill Nathan decided to wait to give Abby time to get back to the house. He'd known she'd been there, behind the tree, the whole time.
He didn't want to embarrass her by acknowledging that he knew she was there.
But he'd had to come up here. Tonight of all nights.
He felt bad. Mighty bad.
He'd thought he would be able to put the past behind him; thought he was ready to move. But he wasn't. Yet.
He knew that now. He'd discovered it at the corral, gazing up at the stars with his new wife in his arms.
Just like he'd done so many times with Lucy.
Abby hadn't deserved his coldness. He felt bad at the abrupt way he'd treated her. He wished he'd been more sensitive. But the thoughts of Lucy had filled his mind just at the moment when he'd least expected them to.
The cool night air blew the lamp light so that it flickered over the headstone of Lucy Grantly.
He'd come here so many times since she had passed. It was his way of reminding himself that his time with Lucy hadn't been a dream.
He'd lost count how many times he'd made the long climb up the hill. This was off limits to anyone except himself. None of the hands were allowed up here on the ridge. It was a private place reserved for the owner. And he liked it that way.
Now, however, things had changed. He had a new wife. His family had been put back together again, albeit without Lucy.
He knew he'd have to move on sometime. That was why he'd been so determined to get Abby to be his wife. He wanted the best for Emma and he was sure that Abby was just right for his daughter. He felt it in his bones.
Tonight, though, he felt he'd been harsh to her, denying her a wedding night to remember.
Standing there on the ridge he didn't rightly know how he was going to make it up to Abby. But he'd have to, in some way or other.
CHAPTER TEN
Next day Abby was up bright and early. As she got herself ready for her first day as a rancher's wife
she thought about all the different ways she could keep herself busy. She had to keep herself busy. Anything to avoid thinking of last night.
Looking out the window she could see that the ranch was already a hive of activity. She was sure there would be plenty of ways to take her mind of the terrible events of the previous night.
Nathan hadn't come to the bedroom at all during the night. She wondered where he could have slept. But, he was the owner. She was sure he had plenty of places he could lay his head down well away from his wife, if he really wanted to.
Abby felt the stab of irritation rise up in her again. She knew she should at least try to understand Nathan and his conduct of the night before. But right now she couldn't. All his declarations and ardent promises seemed like so much hot air after a night like the one she had just passed through.
She went downstairs and into the kitchen. Mrs.Wardle chatted amiably and fed Abby a fine breakfast. Nathan was nowhere to be seen, a point which obviously wasn't lost on Mrs.Wardle.
"Where is Emma?" Abby asked Mrs.Wardle.
The housekeeper glanced out the kitchen window. "I do believe she's out at the corral. She loves those horses," she said with a shake of the head.
Abby went outside and saw Emma sitting astride a large, brown horse. She was being led around the corral by one of the hands who gripped a leather strap attached to the horse's head.
When Emma saw Abby she screamed with excitement and started waving. "Abby! Look at me. Aren't I just like a grown up," Emma called out.
Abby made her way hurriedly to the wooden fencing of the corral. She gripped onto the wooden bars and looked at the ranch hand who was controlling the horse. "Morning. I don't know your name," she said to him.
The ranch hand tipped his hat. He was a tall, lean man, with sun weathered skin. He was dressed in jeans and plain blue shirt. His boots were dust covered.
"Lyle, ma'am," he answered.
"Lyle. Do you think it's safe for Emma to be on a horse that big?"
Lyle smiled and glanced at Emma. "This little girl is the best horsewoman I've seen in these parts. I don't think you need to worry about her. She can look after herself," he said.
Lyle turned and winked at Abby. She nodded conspiratorially. Lyle continued to lead Emma around the corral. Abby watched them together, figuring she had some things she'd have to get used to out in Montana. Amongst them was little girls being a whole lot more independent than the delicate little flowers she'd known growing up back in Boston.
Abby called out to Emma. "I'll be back in little while, Emma. I'm going to take a quick look around."
Emma nodded. "Okay mama. I'll see you."
There it was again, Abby thought. How quickly Emma had taken to her. She wondered if she could measure up to Lucy. Abby had no idea what kind of mother Lucy had been to Emma, so she had no standard to measure herself against.
The only other person who could tell her anything about that was Nathan. And he was nowhere to be found this bright, beautiful morning.
She figured she'd just have to do her best with Emma. And that was usually what she did with everything. Her best.
It was a beautiful morning. The prospect of spending the day with her new daughter filled her with excitement and apprehension in equal parts. Excitement at the opportunity to get to know the beautiful little girl; apprehension about whether she would deal with her new role.
Abby walked around the ranch, taking in the place. She knew next to nothing about how ranches were run. However even she could tell this was a big spread. There were more outbuildings than she'd at first noticed and there were vastly more men working the cattle and keeping things in good order.
Every ranch hand knew who she was. As she passed them they each raised their hat and wished her a fine morning. The men here were so much more alive than the men back in Boston. Working the land and making a living with the animals seemed to bring out the best in the men. They were fitter and healthier looking; their eyes shone; their skin was browned by the sun. She didn't see a single miserable face amongst all of Nathan's employees.
That said a lot about Nathan as an owner. She was sure her assessment of Nathan hadn't been wrong. In spite of last night.
The memory of the night stabbed at her, but she drove herself on. She tried to see as much as she could without going on a horse.
Eventually she made her way back to the corral. Emma had gotten down off the horse and she was stroking the animals face, speaking quietly to it. Abby felt her heart warm as she watched how gentle and happy Emma looked with the horse.
Emma came to Abby. "Did you see me?"
Abby reached down and hugged Emma. "I sure did. You are one great rider," she said.
Emma's face lit up and her smile was as wide as could be.
Abby tidied Emma's blonde curls. "How about we get the buckboard and you can show me a bit more of the ranch. Mmm?"
Emma's eyes widened. "Really?"
"Really. You know more about this place than I do. That's for sure," Abby said.
They made their way to the buckboard. Once they were settled in, Abby flicked the reins and the horse moved on.
Emma told Abby that they should go and see the herd first. She wanted Abby to see how many cattle her father really owned.
They followed the trail across the flat landscape. Emma held onto Abby with a tight grip as the buckboard bounced along the rough track. Emma pointed the way.
In the distance the mountains rose up high. The air was fresh this morning and the light was bright in the blue sky.
Pretty soon they came over a rise and Abby pulled the buckboard to a halt.
Down in the valley she saw a huge herd of cattle. Men on horseback rode around the herd, moving and controlling the animals. The sounds of the men came up from the valley. They were hollering and whooping. These were men at work, enjoying every moment of their labor. The rumble of the cattle as they moved filled the air.
Emma looked at Abby. "Whatcha think?"
Abby sighed. "I think it looks amazing. Those cattle look so big."
"They are big. And scary," said Emma.
Abby rubbed Emma's hair away from her face. "You just promise me you keep well away from those cattle. They're not horses. They're not friendly. Promise me?"
Emma nodded quickly. "I promise mama," she said, and Abby felt that now familiar clutch of emotion at the use of the word. She wondered when she would get used to it.
"I wonder where your father is," Abby said scanning the men down with herd. She couldn't see him.
"I'm right here," said a voice from behind her. Abby whirled and saw Nathan astride a horse looking down at her.
"Papa!" screamed Emma. "We were wondering where you were," she said.
Nathan drew his horse closer to the buckboard. Abby noticed he was dressed in jeans, plain shirt and red neckerchief. His shining boots were jammed into the stirrups. His feet twisted as he moved the horse into position.
"I was wondering the same," he said fixing Abby with a questioning look.
"I thought it would be good to see more of the ranch," she said defensively.
"I could have given you a tour myself," he stated more directly than Abby would have expected. "I try not to bring Emma out here too often. Those animals are ornery and have a mind of their own."
"Are you saying it's not safe to be here?" Abby asked accusingly.
Nathan frowned and looked down at the herd. "I know them better than anyone. It's just best that Emma doesn't get too close to them. It's a rule I have," he said.
"Uh Huh? Maybe you should give me a list of your rules so I don't break any more of them," she said.
Emma looked at them both and furrowed her brows. Nathan saw the confusion on Emma's face.
"Mrs. Wardle's got something special for you Emma," he said.
Emma's face lit up. "Cookies?"
Nathan nodded and smiled. He looked at Abby. "You follow me back to the ranch house. I'll go slow. This track is bumpy. It's lucky you
didn't break the axle of the buckboard," he said looking down at the wheels.
Abby bristled at his criticism of her decision, but kept her lips tight shut. Emma looked like the only thing she could think of was cookies.
Nathan leaned down and took the reins of the buckboard. Controlling his horse with one hand he started to pull on the reins of the buckboard, turning it around on the track.
Abby started to pull the reins away from him. "I think I can manage," she said firmly.
Nathan looked at her and there was a crease of a smile at the edges if his mouth. He let go the reins. "If you say so, Abby," he said.
For a moment their eyes locked and a message was exchanged between them. Was this how it was going to be from now on, Abby thought to herself.
She hoped not. But as she turned the buckboard and started to follow Nathan's horse she began to wonder just who was going to be in charge of this relationship.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
After leaving Emma with Mrs.Wardle, Abby followed Nathan outside to the front yard.
Abby stopped in the middle of the yard and planted her feet on the ground. "So what do you have to say to me?" she said placing her hands on her hips.
Nathan leaned back and cocked his head to one side. "About what?"
"Where were you this morning?"
"I was out doing what a man normally does on a day like today. Working," he said.
Abby shook her head. "I'd have thought you'd at least have been around for our first morning together as man and wife."
Nathan frowned and leaned closer, speaking quietly. "Since I wasn't around for our first night I thought you'd understand why I wanted to be somewhere else this morning."
"You were trying to avoid me?"
Nathan shook his head. "No I wasn't trying to avoid you. Just that I wasn't sure what kind of mood you'd be in."
Abby squinted at him. "You're trying to tell me you're scared of me. And we've only been married twenty four hours?"
Nathan smiled. "Well. Not exactly scared. More like cautious," he said with a wry grin.
Nathan’s Montana Bride (Sweet Historical Mail Order Bride Romance) (Montana Ranchers Brides series) Page 5