Divided

by Rae Brooks

  With a sigh, Taeru stepped away from Calis. He was not going to do this. This would not end any way but with a massive heartache, and probably an execution. “I understand your desire to disobey your father. I know what it is like to feel trapped in that sort of position. But, I have put those that I care about in enough danger as it is. You don’t have to be precisely what he asks of you. I can already tell you aren’t, but you c-”

  Moving forward, Calis wrapped his hands around Taeru’s wrists and brought their bodies up against one another. Taeru struggled against the hold for a moment before Calis began to speak. “You think this is about being my own man? You think this is out of some adolescent desire to disobey my father?” The heat in his eyes was paralytic. His voice was quivering with some emotion that Taeru couldn’t fathom. “I went to Dokak. I lied to people, I tricked those men into an alliance for my father. I didn’t like it—but I did it because he was my father. I did it because I respected him. I still respect him. As much as I hated the idea of being trapped in a meaningless marriage, with no feelings or emotions, I was perfectly alright with the idea—until I met you. Since the first time I saw you, all I’ve seen when I close my eyes is the graceful way you move—and since the first time I spoke to you, all I’ve heard is your voice. You think I’m being dramatic? How do you think I feel? My mind is being entirely consumed by someone that I’ve barely even met! All the while my father tries to push me into a marriage with a woman that I sometimes cannot remember the name of!”

  If Taeru’s eyes were as wide as he felt they were, he was confident that they must have been taking up half of his expression. Calis had clearly been taught in the way of words, and the idea of tricking the Dokak leaders into an alliance—even with Lavus—seemed entirely plausible. But, there was so much emotion in those blue-green eyes that Taeru paused. Was this an act? Did Calis actually mean this? “Even if I were to believe you, how do you think this will end? Your father is not a reasonable person. If he finds out you are seeing someone as unfit for you as me, he would…”

  Suddenly, Calis jerked away from Taeru and stared at him—as if the smaller male had just punched him across the jaw. He looked positively stricken. “This is sick,” Calis said warily. “Why would I have all these feelings, when I’ve never felt anything akin to them—if all I am going to do by expressing them is hurt you?”

  Taeru couldn’t have agreed with that statement more than if he’d spoken the words himself. “I don’t know.” Perhaps they could end this, though. This conversation had gone on long enough, and with every passing moment, Taeru could feel some inexplicable force pulling him towards Calis.

  “But, no,” Calis breathed. “You need me just as much as I need you. My feelings may be ignored, but watching you—seeing you fall apart like that. You need me—you need someone, and I am going to be that person. I will fight my father if I must, but I will not abandon you when there is some part of me that knows I should be with you, protect you.”

  Dismay muddled across Taeru’s face at the words. Taeru needing Calis? That was quite a declaration, and it spoke leagues for how little Calis thought Taeru was able to accomplish. “I happen to be quite strong, your highness,” he growled. “You needn’t see me as some sort of child who needs tending.”

  This made Calis grin, and he shook his head. “That is the point, my friend. You are strong—incredibly so. But, you are also fragile—like a warrior who has been fighting a battle for far too long.”

  That analogy wasn’t quite as insulting as the words before it had been, and Taeru let out a breath. The words were frightfully near to the truth, and he knew it. He had always known that he was not nearly as strong as he pretended to be, and now this prince—whom he’d only met very recently, seemed to be calling him on the one thing no one ever had. Taeru was certain, in that moment, that if he let himself be protected—let himself be with Calis—that he would fall in love with the prince. But, perhaps that was the heartache it would take to rid him of this perpetual weakness that seemed to have finally caught up with him. “Kilik…” Calis whispered, with a gentleness Taeru was quite sure that he’d never heard.

  “You ought to kiss me, I think—before I realize how foolish this is.”

  And Calis did.

  “It is far easier to deceive an innocent man than to trick a guilty one, Aleia knew this better than any.”

  -A Hero’s Peace v.ii

  Chapter xv

  Aela Lassau

  Aela had used fifty different sorts of charms, but she had finally landed this menial job in the tavern. The pay was mediocre at best, but now she had a steady income, and she no longer had to fear that Leif and she might starve. The couple that owned the tavern were kind folks, if a little rough around the edges. The woman, whom Aela had originally mistaken for a man, was rather large—with a mole on her forehead that could really distract from conversation.

  While Leif had been busy arranging ways for them to get into the Shining District, Aela had been trying to find a steady place for them in Dark District. The combination had worked well, as they had found out very soon after entering Telandus that Aela was not very good at lying. Leif was in awe that she’d managed to get this far without being discovered. But they were in Telandus now, and that meant that their mission would succeed.

  “Where are you going?” Leif, who she had been sure was sound asleep on the straw bed in the corner, jerked up when she opened the door. He had hearing that could not have been human, Aela was certain.

  “I am going to work at the tavern,” she answered swiftly, using her best impersonation of a male voice. Leif still found the time to make fun of it.

  The two of them had been living in a small room at one of the inns for nearly a cycle now. The flow of life had not been easy to adjust to, but being slow was not an option that they were given. Leif had spent nearly all of his time out of the room, prowling around the walls of Dark District to find a way to get over them—one way or another—without being detected by the guards that lined it.

  The room was small, though it fit both of them comfortably. There was only one bed, so Leif had been sleeping in one of the bedrolls they had brought with them—except during his naps, which Aela had insisted he take.

  The room was on the second floor of the inn. The floor was made of simple wood and the walls were wooden, but sturdy. There was a simple desk in the room, drawers for keeping what little they had pressed up against the far wall, and a bed at the back. They had been lucky enough to get a mirror, or Aela thought that was lucky, which sat just above the chest of drawers. Lastly, there was a colorful rug in the center of the floor and a few chairs for sitting. A quaint, simple little room—but Aela had begun to like it.

  Leif fell back onto the straw bed with a grunt. “What are you going to be doing at the tavern?” he asked. She had told him before, but he scarcely listened to her when he was thinking—and she had known he was thinking.

  “I can’t be a barmaid, since I’m not a maid,” she said crossly, “but I’m going to be cleaning the dishes and the messes that the customers make. It doesn’t seem hard from what I’ve seen, and it’s a way to meet people—which you said I should do—and make a little bit of extra coin.”

  The explanation felt strong, and Leif just stared at her as if she’d told him the most complex bout of nothing that he’d ever heard. He probably hadn’t cared what she would be doing—he was only asking to be courteous. “You ought to be careful—going out so late. People get braver during the moon. Would you like me to come with you, I could keep watch and make sure everything goes alright for the first few moons?”

  So she had been entirely off-base with what he was thinking. She blinked at him a few times, and then shook her head. Leif’s presence would probably distract her just enough to make mistakes. Though, his desire to protect her was more than a little flattering. She grinned. “Oh, are you worried, Le—Feil?” She had really not grown used to calling him by the fake name.

  With a frown, he
glared away from her and towards one of the wooden walls. “I was simply offering to do you a favor, but if you are going to mock me—then forget it.” She didn’t bother saying that she wasn’t mocking him. “You don’t want me to come?” he finally ventured.

  She burst into a fit of giggles, and he rolled over in the bed as if she was no longer in the room. “I will be fine,” she told him, hoping to ease his mind. “You need as much rest as you can get,” she said, “you’re getting those rings under your eyes.”

  “That is not due to physical stress,” he informed her, “it’s mental. And my brain works just as hard when I sleep as it does when I’m awake.” He turned over so that his dark eyes found her another time.

  She tilted her head. She’d been having plenty of erratic dreams of her own, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was catching. “I’ve been dreaming as well, lately,” she said, “and none of them are pleasant.”

  “I know,” he said, “wouldn’t it be nice to dream of something wonderful? Instead of watching all of my friends die over and over?”

  “It would be,” she answered. Her dreams had not been that bad—and most of the ones that didn’t contain her brother were not terrible at all. The nightmares that she did have were horrible, though. She swallowed as she observed Leif for a moment. “Fantasize about beautiful women—that should clear your mind. Isn’t that what we males do?”

  Leif chuckled softly, and his grin eased her mind a little. “I feel odd fantasizing about her when she’s dressed as a man.”

  With a quick flush, Aela let out a warning snarl and found her way out the door before he could embarrass her further. He should know better than to do things like that when he could have such an effect on people—though the fact that he was having such an effect probably meant many terrible things.

  The sun had not quite set as she made her way to the tavern. The lanterns were all being lit for the moon crowd, she noticed. She quickly found the man who was running the tavern and made him aware of her presence. He assigned her to a few tasks of setting up a few of the tables that had been unused during the sun and reorganizing some of the liquor on the shelves under the counter.

  After that, he sent her to the back room to prepare some of the dishes for the evening and make sure that the floors were clean. He seemed glad to have someone to do all these tasks for him, and despite the dullness of them—they were passing the time. Men and women began to shuffle into the bar as the sun vanished from the sky. Soon enough, the tavern was alight with bards playing music, and men and women drinking their problems away.

  Aela wished she could inform them that these problems would only return with the sun, but as that might be bad for business—she neglected to interact with the patrons. There were three barmaids—and they were all very petite. One was blond, and she appeared to be the feistiest of the group, always snapping at the men who made passes at her. The other two had black hair, though one had long, and one had short. They were both very efficient in their movements and much flirtier than the blond.

  Aela hadn’t bothered to learn their names, and she still hadn’t grown accustomed to interacting with people more than necessary. Hiding that she was a girl was no easy task, especially when she seemed so small for a boy—and the fact that Leif made fun of her male voice at every turn. She cursed him mentally for the setback.

  “Aelic,” the owner called as the tavern seemed to reach its peak capacity.

  She hurried over to him, not taking long to shuffle through the few patrons that had gotten between them. “Yes, sir?” she asked. The man had been fairly amiable throughout the shifts of the moon, and he certainly didn’t seem to have the power trip that Aela had feared any superior that she obtained would have.

  In fact, he seemed almost as though he didn’t want to be in charge. He wanted very much to be able to flirt with the barmaids like the patrons, but he knew that wasn’t acceptable if he was going to keep the tavern running. Enough customers were having to be thrown out for getting too unruly without the owner becoming one of them. Aela was secretly very glad, too, that the husband was in charge of the tavern. The woman was rather frightening. “We’re running low on tankards. I’ve got a whole ‘nother set and some plates out in the storage outside—run and get them for me, please.”

  With a nod, she turned on her heels and headed towards the outdoor cellar. She had already familiarized herself with the place, as the owner had made sure that she spent a few suns there—learning the layout before she was put on duty for a full moon. The last thing the owner wanted—or needed—on a busy moon was an incompetent barhand.

  She made her way out to the cellar and used the key that she had been given as part of her work arrangement to open it. The doors fell open easily, and she hurried down into the darkened cellar to grab the plates and tankards the man had requested. She grabbed the torch near the bottom of the stairs that led into the cellar and used the fire at the top of the cellar to ignite it. Then, she headed back into the cellar and began towards the shelves. The place was made of stone, built into the ground and filled with shelves of alcohol and extra supplies that the tavern might need. There were also a few crates towards the back that Aela suspected held coin in them.

  Aela was glad for her leather boots as she headed across the damp ground to the shelf that held her targeted items. She was sure she could make out the sounds of rats somewhere off in the corner of the cellar. She quickly found the plates and tankards and after a little shifting, she managed to bring them all up into her arms in a manageable fashion.

  Moving back up the stairs, she dropped the torch off where she’d gotten it, making sure to put out the flame. She closed the cellar doors and vowed to return momentarily to lock it when her hands weren’t so full. The plates got a little heavier as she moved towards the door of the tavern, but she used her back to push it open. Letting out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding, she felt relieved to be back in the comfort of a well-lit environment. No matter how brave she pretended to be—she would always have a weak spot for dark cellars.

  Glancing around for the owner, unsure of where he might want her to place her newly acquired loot, she saw no trace of him. Patrons were swarmed all along the tables, and after a few moments of searching, Aela’s eyes found one of the barmaids—the blond. She’d know what was to be done with the plates and tankards. Then, though Aela’s eyes stopped on someone else—in fact, her eyes were not the only thing that stopped. Her heart, her brain, her body all seemed to completely fail.

  The crowd seemed to vanish before her eyes as she stared at the man sitting next to the blond barmaid, talking to her with a ghost of a smile on his face. He was wearing a white shirt, with black pants and work boots. His hair was black—and shorter than she remembered, but it was his hair. His skin was the same bronze that it had been, very similar to Aela’s own, and perhaps a little darker.

  And those eyes. Those gorgeous, incredible blue eyes. Those eyes that Aela had spent her childhood wanting desperately, and her adolescence missing so much more desperately. Then, as if he’d heard her thoughts, the blue eyes snapped across the room to catch her. Shock and panic and happiness all collided within her to make a rather crashing sound.

  No, wait, that was the sound of what had been in her arms crashing to the floor. Some of the people glanced at her—curious as to what had happened. The blue eyes were looking more than a little concerned as they held Aela’s for a few more moments. Then, Aela blinked and heard the angry sound of her employer. “What in the world? What is this? I give you this job. I finally give you this job, and on the very first moon you go and pull a stunt like this! I cannot have this happening. There is too much going on in this tavern already!”

  She winced under the yelling. But no, she couldn’t be bothered with that. Who cared about her job—who cared about the few extra coins if she had really seen him? Then, though, as her eyes searched desperately for him again—she found the spot where he had just been entirely empty. Had she im
agined it?

  Surely that didn’t just happen. Surely, I wasn’t so stupid as to hallucinate and drop everything I was carrying!

  She squeezed her eyes shut, listening to the steady yelling of her new—and possibly former—employer. Her eyes reopened, and she searched desperately for the man who had made her drop her bounty. Pain stabbed into her chest when she saw nothing, and longing that she had suppressed for so long bubbled into her mind and obscured every other thought. She had imagined it.

  Her lips quivered with sadness. She didn’t care what the old man said to her, despite that she knew his words were insulting. Nothing could compare to having that happiness bestowed on her for that fraction of a moment, and then having it snatched away—it was as if the very breath she breathed had been stolen from her. Tears began to burn in her eyes. “—you ought to just get out of here. Stop standing there like a bloody fool, you street rat!”

  She thought that if she could turn and strike the man who was insulting her—she might start to feel again. But, this pain… she didn’t know if she was going to get over it. Why had her mind played such a dirty trick?

  “Why are you shouting, Nardin?” The voice was light and filled with a sort of gentle humor that meant he was only partially amused. The voice caused Aela’s heart to start beating again, and her blood felt heated as she turned desperately to see if her mind had betrayed her in the worst way or not.

  No—it hadn’t. He stood before her, then, only a few paces away from her. She could have reached out and touched the brother that she’d thought she’d never see again. It was him—it was undeniably Taeru Lassau. His eyes glowed with swirls of blue, and his skin complimented them. Had he gotten smaller? Perhaps she just hadn’t realized how little he was, but he still had plenty of height on her. He was still standing in that graceful manner. He still had the very slight dimples on his cheeks as he smiled at the owner who’d stopped yelling. “Oh,” she choked.