by Tyler Grey
The moment I saw Shawn, I knew I was going to tell him about what had happened. I needed someone to talk to, and I was going to implode if I didn’t speak about it.
“We slept together,” I said the moment our drinks arrived. I practically shouted it out, but I didn’t know quite how else to ease into it.
“What?”
I shook my head. “Sorry, didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. I’ve been keeping this in all day, and I desperately needed someone to talk to about it with.”
“You slept with Paisley?”
I nodded and sighed. “Yeah, last night.”
“You don’t seem happy about it.”
“It was amazing, Shawn. Incredible. But… I’m confused. I mean, I wasn’t thinking of her in that way anymore. Not with everything that had happened. We had dinner last night, and everything was going great. We were talking and even laughing together. For the first time, a bit of the cloud had lifted, and we were discussing important things like what to do with the house, and all of that.
“At the end of the night, we said our goodbyes and went to our separate rooms. I was just lying in bed, trying to sleep, when she suddenly appeared in the doorway. She said she couldn’t sleep and got into bed with me. She was crying and feeling guilty about everything. I understood what she was going through. I mean, I feel a stab of guilt every time I laugh about something. It’s a weird feeling. You want to feel good, but at the same time, you feel terrible every time. Anyway, one thing led to another, and soon we were kissing, and then… Well, that naturally progressed to something more. Afterward, we both fell asleep.”
“And today? How were things between the two of you?” he asked.
“Well, that’s the problem. I thought it was going to be strange. I woke up so worried that we had ruined things. But it wasn’t. She treated me exactly like she always did. It was almost as if it didn’t happen. We spent the whole day just going about our business and talking mostly about work. We didn’t bring it up once, and we simply went back to how things were before. No more kissing, no touching. So even though things weren’t strange between us, in a way, they still were. If you know what I mean. It’s so confusing.”
“And, you didn’t think of bringing it up with her?”
“I did. I considered talking about it all day with her, but I’m not sure if she wants to. I don’t really know what to do. I know you think the whole thing is weird, Shawn, but I just needed someone to talk to. I hope you don’t mind.”
He sighed. “Of course, I don’t mind. I said I was always going to be here if you needed someone to talk to you. I was always just worried that someone was going to get hurt. I don’t actually think it was weird. I also just liked teasing you, that’s all.”
“Have any advice?”
“Why don’t you give it another day? If she still hasn’t said anything, then maybe you should bring it up with her. I definitely think that the two of you should talk about it. The longer you leave it, the harder it’s going to be to bring it up, and you really should talk. You guys need each other now. The last thing you want is to feel weird around each other because of this.”
I smiled at my friend. “Thanks, Shawn. Man, when did life get so complicated?”
We stayed for a bit longer than I had initially intended to. I kept thinking that Paisley didn’t want me to have dinner with her, so I decided to stay out a little longer. When I got back, she was in her room with the door closed. I went to the kitchen and saw that she had already dished up a bowl of stew for me. All I had to do was heat up the food. It was a small gesture, but a kind one, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I ate alone, lost in my thoughts. Then I stayed in the living room to watch some TV and wondered if she would join me. She never did.
Eventually, when I was too tired to watch anything more, I showered and climbed into bed. Tomorrow would be a new day. I would take Shawn’s advice and speak to her. It was the right thing to do. If she was hiding in her bedroom because of what had happened, it was already a sign that things were strained between us.
I lay in bed, trying to sleep and wondering if she was okay. Sleep just wouldn’t come to me, and I considered getting up and going back to the TV. I’d felt tired while I was watching a movie, but now that I was in bed I felt wide awake again.
Suddenly, Paisley appeared at the door. Without saying anything, she climbed into bed next to me, put her arm around me, and closed her eyes. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She wasn’t looking for sex, but comfort. But with her arms around me, I felt like she was the one comforting me. I switched off the light and closed my eyes. With her next to me, I felt tired again and the sleep came easily.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Paisley
I woke up the following morning in Henry’s bed. I hadn’t meant to crawl back into bed with him, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’d spent all day avoiding what had happened between us, mostly because I didn’t know what it meant and didn’t know how to put it into words. I kept hoping that he would bring it up, but he didn’t, so I just concentrated on talking about work instead. It was easier that way.
Work was a great distraction and kept me from thinking about the fact that I’d slept with Henry, but the moment I got home, I found it harder to ignore. Thankfully, he’d gone out with his friend, so I had the house to myself. I had immediately called Olive for advice.
“Oh, Olive, I did something stupid,” I had said to her.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Should I come over?” She was still very worried about me and seemed to be on high alert every time I called her.
“No, it’s okay, I’m fine. I just… Well… I slept with Henry.”
“No way! You did?”
“Yeah. It just happened. One minute I was crying, and he was comforting me, and the next thing I knew, we were sleeping together. I can’t believe it.”
“I can believe it,” she said.
Her words took me by surprise. “You can?”
“Of course. There was something going on between the two of you before all of this happened, so I’m not at all surprised. You obviously pushed it aside through your grief, but it was only natural that the two of you would come together again. Anyway, he’s been incredible to you, and I had a feeling that this would happen. You’ve gotten close to him in a whole new way now. I’m actually surprised it has taken this long. I thought it might have already happened and that you just hadn’t told me about it.”
“But… I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. I mean, isn’t it wrong? After what happened?” I shook my head in disgust. “Yeah, it’s wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Why is it wrong? Following your true feelings is never wrong. You should know that. Paisley, please don’t be so hard on yourself. You didn’t do anything bad.”
“I guess,” I said, even though I wasn’t so sure.
“How was it? The sex, I mean. How was it?”
I thought of the way it had felt with him inside me, and I couldn’t help the smile that came to my face. “Wonderful. Perfect.” There really seemed to be no other word for it. Perfect was the only way I could really describe it. I hadn’t slept around with a lot of guys, but I’d certainly slept with a few. I had never in my life experienced what I had with Henry. It wasn’t just the sex that was good, but there was something more to it that I couldn’t put my finger on. It felt more real. More special.
“Then it definitely wasn’t the wrong thing. Have you spoken about it?”
“No, I sort of avoided it the whole day. He did, too. We both just carried on as if nothing had happened. We spoke mostly about work, and that’s it. He’s out with a friend now. Which is why I’m speaking so openly to you about it. Maybe he’s avoiding me, too.”
“You sure you don’t want me to come over?” she asked.
It was nice of her, but I didn’t want her to be there. I wanted to be alone. And, I didn’t want her there when Henry came back. Especially now tha
t she knew what had happened between us. “I’m sure. I just want to eat dinner and climb into bed. I just needed to talk to you about it.”
“You can talk to me anytime. Honestly, Paisley, you can call me anytime. Even if it’s the middle of the night. But I also think you should talk to him about it. I don’t think this is something you should keep to yourself.”
I had sighed. “I know. I know. Okay, you’re right. I’ll talk to him about it.”
“Good. I love you, Paisley. Just remember, you did nothing wrong, okay?”
“Okay.”
Of course, I hadn’t talked to him. I’d stayed in my room even when I heard that he was home. I heard him making dinner and watching TV in the living room. Then I heard his footsteps as he made his way to his room. I could swear he had stopped in front of my room and wondered if he had considered coming in. I told myself that I would talk to him in the morning, but I couldn’t fall asleep so no matter how hard I tried. Eventually, I had walked into his room, climbed into bed, and closed my eyes. All we did was sleep, but I woke up feeling refreshed.
A bit of light was now shining through a slit in the curtain, and it gave me the chance to look at him. He really was such a handsome man. With every rise and fall of his chest, I felt myself smiling. He was even snoring slightly, and the sound amused me. We slept well together. I wasn’t sure about him, but the last two nights had been my best nights of sleep since the accident.
The more I watched him, the more realization was beginning to dawn on me: I was falling in love with this man. While I had been mourning the loss of my mother, I had fallen for this man who had done everything to help me heal.
And, I really was healing. Despite the inability to sleep or the sudden tears, I could feel myself feeling more like myself every day that went by. I knew that I wouldn’t have managed to do it alone. Henry had helped me to heal. The only reason that I was even functioning as well as I was was because of him.
Without thought, I moved closer towards him and placed my lips against his. He didn’t react at first, so I did it again, and I felt him stir. His eyes flicked open, and in a daze, he smiled at me. I kissed him again, and this time, he responded.
I could tell that he was still half asleep, but his body was reacting to me like it was wide awake. I moved my hand down and felt how hard he was. I was surprised at how pleased that made me. I knew now why I hadn’t spoken to him about the previous night — it was because I was afraid that if we spoke about it, it wouldn’t happen again. And if there was one thing I desired more than anything else in the world, it was for us to do this again. I needed him. I wanted him.
I took his clothes off, and then mine, spending some time getting to know his body. Henry was a pleasure to look at. His shoulders were broad, almost as if he’d spent his life swimming. It was then that I realized how little I knew about this man. Was he a swimmer? I didn’t even know. And yet, I felt like I knew him so well. He felt like home. His scent was familiar, and I didn’t want to be anywhere else than with him at this moment. I could feel him writhe in pleasure as my mouth found his erection. I put it in my mouth and sucked. I moved my tongue around him and heard him groan out in pleasure.
Suddenly, he pulled me off him, and I knew he had been close to coming. Just like me, he didn’t want things to end so quickly. We tumbled on the bed, until I was lying on my back with him on top of me. He was looking at me with so much hunger, and I felt a thrill run up my spine as our gazes met.
This was different from the slow, soft sex we’d had the night before. There was a desperate need between us. We didn’t just want each other. We had to have each other. He placed my arms out above my head and bent down to kiss my neck. He sucked hard, and I felt desperate to have him inside me again.
But he was taking his time with me, making me want him more and more. He moved down to my breasts, teasing my nipples with his tongue. I cried out. It was too much. I needed him in me. Instead, he pushed his finger inside me at the same time as he kissed my neck, and I thought I was going to lose it completely.
Trying not to have an orgasm only made me want one even more, but he pulled his finger out just in time. In all this time, we hadn’t said a word to one another. We’d moaned, groaned and almost cried, but we hadn’t spoken. There were no words for what we were feeling.
When he pushed himself inside me, I closed my eyes. He moved inside me, rocking over me. It was gentle at first, and then harder. I came almost immediately, and so did he. For a while, we just lay there, holding onto one another as we tried to catch our breath. Eventually, we both fell asleep. It was Saturday, and we had nowhere to go. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but there, and I wanted the feeling to last.
When I got out bed, about an hour later, he was still asleep. I climbed into the shower and cleaned myself. I touched my breasts and felt myself between my legs as I thought about what had happened. I was surprised at how turned on I felt just thinking about it. Suddenly, the shower door opened to reveal Henry standing in front of me. He was naked, wearing nothing but a smile.
He stepped into the shower and kissed me, pushing me against the wall. I was wet — not just from the water, but from him in my arms again — and he easily pushed inside me. He held onto my waist so that he didn’t fall out and pushed against me until we both came again.
Nobody had ever made me feel the way he did. I’d never even had sex in the shower until that moment. I didn’t know it was possible, especially since we’d only just had sex an hour before. My body felt sore but wonderful, like getting a massage. I had no idea what was going on, but I didn’t really care about it anymore. All I wanted was to carry on doing that, with him, forever.
We showered in silence and then changed. Neither one of us had spoken yet.
“I’m starving,” Henry said finally. “Want to go out for breakfast? I’m tired of cereal.”
I smiled. We’d settled into a boring cereal routine in the mornings because it was the easiest thing to do, but I was also getting tired of it. “That sounds great. I’d love that.”
“Paisley, do you want to talk about what’s going on?” he said suddenly. The question seemed so sudden, that I assumed it had been on his mind.
I turned to look at him and shook my head. “Not just yet.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I need to process it all still. For now, can we just not talk about it and simply enjoy this? I think I need this right now.”
He smiled. “Okay, but we should talk when you’re ready.”
“We will.”
Chapter Thirty
Henry
If anyone were to ask me what was going on between Paisley and me, I wouldn’t have an answer for them. We’d slept together a few times already, and we moved about with ease at both work and home. The big question still lingered between us, but neither one of us had really spoken about it yet. I had decided to leave the ball in her court. I was happy, and she certainly seemed happier, and for now, that seemed to be the only thing that really mattered.
That morning I dropped her off at work and headed out to the golf course to meet a client. It was a very important meeting, and one that I had been dreading. Not because I didn’t want it, but because I was so unprepared for it. I’d done my best to prepare the week before, but with everything that had been going on, I was worried that I was going to come off looking like an idiot. I didn’t want the client to know about my father, either. It was important to me that I didn’t get business simply out of pity. I needed to earn these business deals. That was the only way I would feel proud of them.
We played through the course and chatted things through. I was glad that he had asked for the meeting to happen over a round of golf. I always felt so much more comfortable in this setting than face-to-face at a desk. This felt so much more natural, and I was always able to articulate my words so much better. When the game was over, the man held out his hand to me.
“Henry, you have yourself a deal.”
&nb
sp; “Really?” I asked in surprise. I probably shouldn’t have acted so shocked, but I couldn’t help myself.
He laughed. “Of course. It would be a pleasure to do business with you. Your company is exactly what I am looking for right now, and I can see that you work with a lot of honor and integrity. That is very important to me.”
I beamed at him. I lived for moments like this. I had been worried when my father had asked me to be CEO of his company when he wanted to step down. I wasn’t sure if I could do a good enough job of it. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get big business deals without him. But here I was, shaking hands with a client I was desperate to get. “It’s important to me, too. And, I’m more than happy to have you on board with us.”
He smiled. “Well, I’ll be in touch soon so we can sign the forms and get started.”
“Sounds great. Just make an appointment with the receptionist.”
“Oh, and I wanted to ask you, how is your father doing these days? I couldn’t believe it when I heard he no longer worked there anymore. Although, good for him; I’m always a little jealous when I see some people make the decision to stop working. I know how happy he was when he met that new woman in his life. It’s just strange not seeing him around.”
I gulped. I didn’t know what to say. This hadn’t happened to me yet. Most people knew what had happened to my father, and I generally didn’t have to do much as they simply avoided the subject. I stared at the client, unsure of what to say or do next.
He frowned. “What’s wrong? Did I say something I shouldn’t have?”
“Uh…my father…he…well…he passed away. Car accident,” I managed to get out. I was suddenly nervous, and I couldn’t quite reach his eyes. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but it wasn’t exactly something I could lie about.
The man’s eyes widened, and he shut his eyes in shock. “I’m so sorry. God, Henry, that’s awful. I feel horrible bringing this up.”
I shook my head. “No, you had no idea. It’s okay.”