“I didn’t do anything,” I started.
“That doesn’t matter, Dear. The moment you apologize, he will be eating out of your palm. Men like to feel that they are important, that they are always right. How do you think I got Bruce? I could ask him for a thousand dollars every day and he would hand it over without blinking because I know how to talk to him. So you see, I will always be taken care of. And that, my dear, is the end goal.”
I rolled my eyes wondering if she had always talked to Dad this way. How did they ever get together? Dad was loving and protective and Mom was nothing but a gold digger.
“Mom, I’m not trying to get him back and I’m not looking for someone to take care of me. I am actually doing pretty well for myself. I’m writing full time now and I have my own house.” Okay, so the house wasn’t technically mine. I was renting, but my mother would never know that. “I actually have to get back to it, so look me up the next time you’re in town. Bye, Mom.”
I didn’t wait for a reply. I hung up, grateful that I wouldn’t have to hear her criticize my life choices anymore. I also noticed that she hadn’t even responded when I said I wouldn’t be attending her party. My guess was that she was relieved that her unaccomplished daughter wouldn’t be attending. After all, I was a failure compared to her new, rich family. I all the sudden had an overwhelming desire to prove her wrong. I got up and started writing again. There was no time like the present to prove I had what it took to become a bestseller.
A few days later, Sebastian and Cole showed up at my house to install a security system. I didn’t think I needed it, but it was something Jack wanted to do for me, so I allowed it. Things were awkward while they set it up. It was like no one wanted to say anything to me, and I wasn’t about to ask about Jack. They were Jack’s friends. Really, what could they say? They finished fairly quickly and then they each gave me a hug and told me they’d see me around. I really doubted that.
I finished my book a week later and spent another week proofreading and editing. Then, I sent it off to my editor for review. Now I had time to kill and I would normally take some time off between books, but I had some ideas swirling about several books. I took notes on each of my book ideas and started the idea process for all of them. I had so many thoughts swirling, I couldn’t focus on one book. Every time I wrote down an idea, another appeared. I had never been so focused on work before. In fact, I realized that I hadn’t spoken with anyone in two weeks. Then, I felt kind of sad that no one had thought to check in with me. Was I really so forgettable?
Shit. I wasn’t forgettable, but I had forgotten my best friend. Anna had gotten married New Year’s Eve and with everything that was going on, I hadn’t even thought to call or send a text. I was the worst friend ever. I called Anna, but it went to voicemail, so I sent her a text about being super busy writing and asked when would be a good time to get together. Anna replied an hour later that she would stop by the next day.
I had lunch prepared for Anna when she showed up. I wrapped my arms around her in a huge bear hug and told her how fabulous she looked. Of course, I looked at her ring and made all the appropriate noises to accompany it. But inside, I was dying. That could have been my life if things had worked out with Jack. He had never talked about marriage, but he had hinted about the way our lives could be if we didn’t have kids.
“Anna, I am so sorry that I haven’t gotten ahold of you sooner. I was so lost after what happened and then I got wrapped up in my books. I decided New Year’s Eve that I was going to start fresh and I guess that took over. I haven’t really thought of anything else the last two weeks.”
“Sweetie, I saw you, remember? I know you were not in a good place so don’t even think anything of it. All that’s important is that you are able to move on and that, well, I’m married!” Anna squealed in delight and did a little happy dance. It was hard not to be happy for someone when they were so excited.
I gave her a hug and jumped around with her. “I am so happy for you. So, tell me how the pregnancy is going.” We walked over to the kitchen and grabbed some food while we ate.
“It’s going good. I am so hungry all the time. I swear I am going to weigh fifty pounds more than I am supposed to. They give you these guidelines of how much you are supposed to weigh when you’re pregnant. It’s crazy. If I want to eat for ten, I will. It’s my pregnancy and my baby is telling me to eat everything in sight.” With that she reached over and grabbed a second helping for her plate. Man, she could really pack it away. But where was it all going? She didn’t look like she had put on any weight.
“So, how’s Luke doing with all this? Has he freaked out yet or is he the best husband ever?”
“Luke has been great. He’s been smothering me with love. He kisses my belly at night and talks to the baby. I don’t think the baby can hear yet, but it’s absolutely adorable. I’ve also been getting foot massages every night and he’s been going out at all hours of the night to get me food.”
Thoughts of Jack ran through my mind and how I would never have any of that with him. He didn’t want kids and it wasn’t Anna’s fault that it pained me to hear about all of this. I would never experience it with Jack, or possibly at all. Jack would be hard to replace. No man would ever stand up against him. He had given me so much. He gave me family and I was starting to wonder why that wasn’t enough.
Anna seemed to notice my sadness because she put her hand over mine and gave me a squeeze.
“Hey, you okay? Did I say too much?”
“No, I’m good. I’m just adjusting still. It will take me a while to not feel the hurt when talking about these things, but I need you to keep telling me about this stuff because it reminds me that life goes on. Besides, you shouldn’t have to hide your joy from me because you don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”
After that, we moved on to talking about my books and all the progress I had made. Anna stayed for another hour before needing to get back home. After a much needed pep talk, I went back to my office and got to work again. I was determined to work out my sadness and there was no time like the present.
My editor sent my book back and had high praises for the changes I made in my book style. She said it suited me and was a good shakeup for my normal readers. We did the final edits and then discussed the merits of self-publishing. After much discussion, we decided I would try it for a few books and see how it went. I had written each day, working on a different story when my mood changed. They were similar in style, but one was more emotional than the other. I saved that book for my sappy sad days.
It was mid-March when I saw Jack again. I had decided to take a walk around the lake to clear my head. I was having trouble deciding which direction I wanted to take my book when I saw him standing off the path talking to a woman. I stopped in my tracks and started to panic. My heart was practically beating out of my chest and I felt like I was going to throw up. My feet propelled me backwards as I tried to get as far away as possible, but I stopped when I felt a solid object behind me.
“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I didn’t have time to look at the voice responsible. I was too concerned that I was drawing attention to myself and I couldn’t run into him now. I wasn’t ready. I looked back over at Jack and saw him glancing my way. I shrunk back against some trees and did my best to conceal myself amongst the branches.
“Miss, are you okay? Can I get you something?”
I glanced over and saw a handsome man staring back at me. He was tall with dirty blonde hair and he was built like a tank. I looked back over and saw that Jack was turning to leave. If I didn’t answer this man, I might draw more attention to myself, so I responded as I watched Jack leave.
“Yeah, I’m good. I just thought I saw a bear.”
“A bear? I don’t think there are many bears in these parts.”
He still wasn’t out of sight, so I continued to talk to the man, no doubt making a total fool of myself.
&n
bsp; “Yeah, it totally could have been a bear. It was….um… big.”
“Big?” The man sounded totally unconvinced with my description, so I tried to think of how else to describe a bear.
“And brown.”
“Yeah,” he said nodding. “Bears are usually big and brown. What else did you see that made you think it was a bear?”
I watched Jack walk away and sighed with relief, finally gathered my wits about me.
“Hmmm?” I asked him because I really couldn’t remember what we were talking about.
“The bear?”
“A bear? Where? Around here? Are you sure?”
Oh, crap. There had been a bear here and I was so concerned about Jack seeing me that I didn’t even pay attention to what was going on around me. Jack was right. I attracted trouble. I could have been eaten! Was it still around? I looked all around trying to see the elusive bear.
“No, you told me you saw a bear. That’s what all this back and forth has been about.” He gestured between the two of us. “Am I missing something here? Did you just escape the nuthouse or something?”
Nice. I was making a total ass out of myself. I stepped out from behind the trees in an attempt to escape Crazytown.
“I’m so sorry. My name is aaahhh-”
I screamed as my foot slid down the embankment and my body quickly followed. I tried to snag a tree branch, but I was already too far away and headed into the lake. I saw the man try to reach for me, but it was as if it was all happening in fast forward. One minute he was there and then next, I was plunging through the partially frozen lake.
I was submerged for what felt like hours, but was probably fifteen seconds. My body was in so much pain and felt like there were knives piercing all over me. I had never felt such pain in all my life. I felt myself being pulled upwards and dragged out onto the embankment. Two arms wrapped around me and held me close as I shook. My teeth were rattling in my head and felt like they were going to fall out. He hauled me up and ran to his truck. My body hurt with every step he took.
He threw me in the passenger side and jumped into the driver’s side. I felt like I had done this same scenario before, but I couldn’t think about it now. I was freezing and needed to warm up. I spoke in broken words to the man driving the truck.
“I…live….just on the….n-next…ssstreet.”
The man turned down the next street and I pointed to my house with a shaky finger.
“R-right there.”
He squealed into the driveway and jumped out of the truck and ran around to my side. He yanked me out of the truck and started sprinting to the front door. I pulled out my key and handed it to him. He quickly unlocked the door and stormed into the house.
“Which way to the bathroom?”
“Ups-upstairs.” He was already moving to the stairs by the time I finished the word. He ran to the bathroom and started the bath water. Then, he turned to undress me. In record time, he had me down to my underwear and panties. He picked me up and gently put me in the bathtub. It was warm, but the sensation was painful. I whimpered as the warmth started to work its way back into my body.
“You want to tell me what that was all about back there?”
I shook my head as my teeth chattered. I didn’t need anymore humiliation right now. “No.” After a few minutes I decided that since I was already sitting in a tub practically naked next to this guy, he should at least know my name.
“I’m H-Harper.” He smiled a friendly smile that put me at ease.
“Drew. I would say it’s nice to meet you, but under the circumstances…” He didn’t finish the thought and I huffed out a laugh.
“So, do you always end up in a lake while fleeing imaginary bears or is this just bad luck for you?” He smiled at me and I smiled back. This was the first time I had smiled since my breakup with Jack, besides with Anna. I didn’t count that because her news was joyous. This man was just able to make me smile with his smile.
“Usually I can t-take on a bear, but… I’m off my g-game a little here.”
We sat in silence the rest of the time I soaked. He got up and grabbed my towel off the back of the door and then helped me to stand. He wrapped the towel around me and carried me into the bedroom. He set me on the bed and started going through my drawers. He came up with sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and fuzzy, warm socks. When he turned to dress me, he realized I was still in my wet panties and bra.
“Um.. How about you take off your underwear and bra. I’ll get you something else to put on.” He turned and rummaged around for new underwear. I was suddenly aware of how I should be feeling shy, but I wasn’t. Maybe it was because he saved me, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable with him. He was being respectful of me and wasn’t trying to ogle me. My arms shook as I tried to slide my panties down and my hands wouldn’t curl properly to pull them off. Drew saw my trouble and came over to help.
“Here, let me help you. I promise not to look.”
He reached behind me and unclasped my bra. His warm hands skimmed my back and I really wanted to lean into him and take more of his warmth. He slid my panties down my legs and his face was right in front of my most intimate area, but he was quite the gentleman and didn’t look. I couldn’t have cared either way though. I was just too exhausted to care. I wanted to be warm again and I would do anything to achieve it. He dressed me and then grabbed the quilt off my bed and wrapped it around me. Then he picked me up and carried me downstairs, setting me on the couch. I was still shaking from the residual cold or maybe it was the memory of how cold I was. He returned a few minutes later with a cup of hot apple cider. He sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me as he pulled me into his warmth. I sank into him, relishing in the feeling of being taken care of. A little piece of my heart felt like it was being mended by the act of kindness. Drew was reminding me of what it was like to have someone care for me.
I drank my cider and he laid his cheek against my head.
“So, are you gonna tell me what happened back there?”
“I saw my ex-boyfriend.”
“Ahh, so you thought you would avoid him by jumping in the lake. Solid plan.” I started laughing. It was all so ridiculous.
“I just wasn’t ready to see him yet, so I decided to hide behind some trees. Then you came along and I was sure he would see me. I was just waiting until he left to come out. Thank you for pulling me out.”
“Anytime. Just make sure you write down a schedule for me so I know when and where to go.”
Drew stayed sitting with me for a few hours. We mostly sat in comfortable silence. I dozed a little on his chest, his heartbeat lulling me to sleep. My emotions were all over the place with the day’s events and I started to wonder what I would do when he told me he was leaving. I couldn’t describe it exactly, but I felt better with him here. After a while of me sleeping on his chest, Drew picked me up and carried me back upstairs. He laid me down on the bed and left the room. My heart dropped to my stomach at him leaving. I just wanted him to stay the night and hold me. I know I shouldn’t because he was a stranger, but I felt safe with him. Relief swept through me when he returned a few minutes later carrying another blanket.
“Do you mind if I stay?”
I shook her head and he laid out the blanket on top of me, then climbed in next to me. He cradled my body from behind and wrapped me into his body. It wasn’t sexual. It felt like we were comforting one another. I drifted off to sleep and slept better than I had in three months.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Harper
I woke the next morning nice and toasty warm. After my day yesterday, staying in this nice, warm cocoon sounded pretty good. I had slept through the night, which was something I hadn’t been able to accomplish since Jack and I broke up. Drew shifted behind me and gave a big yawn. Unaware that I was doing it, I shifted closer and snuggled into him. He was like a big teddy bear and I found myself sniffing the manly scent of his shirt. His arms were locked around me in a comforting way that only a man co
uld provide.
“Good morning,” he said as he looked over at me. “I haven’t slept that well in years.”
“It’s been a few months for me.”
“How about I go make us some breakfast? Maybe you should go take a shower.”
“Oh my gosh, do I smell?” Suddenly very self-conscious, I started sniffing myself to find the foul odor and Drew started to laugh.
“No, I just think you’re probably going to be a little stiff and a hot shower would help to loosen you up. Go on. I’ll go get breakfast started.”
I sighed in relief that I hadn’t sent him running downstairs due to toxic body odor. I laid in the warmth a few more minutes before dragging myself out of my cocoon and got into the shower. He was right. This felt amazing. My joints were stiff and all I wanted was to go bag and snuggle in my blanket. I wasn’t sure the chill would ever go away. It was like it was set deep in my bones. Although I did wonder if part of the chill was the shock of seeing Jack yesterday. That was something I wouldn’t likely recover from with a warm blanket. I got dressed and headed downstairs to the smell of bacon and eggs. It smelled delicious and tasted even better.
“So, I noticed last night that you have a security system, but it wasn’t turned on. Is it broken?”
“No. My ex insisted it be installed after I moved in. I always forget to set it because I feel pretty safe here. Honestly, I don’t think I have set it more than a few times.”
“That doesn’t sound like a normal breakup. Most guys don’t make sure their ex is taken care of after they’re through. What am I missing?”
“We didn’t want to break up. We just wanted different things. I wanted kids and he didn’t. Neither of us wanted to change and we both knew that staying together would only hurt us both. We ended it Christmas morning. It was pretty painful, but,” I shrugged not knowing what else to say.
“So the breakup was mutual, but not wanted. Did he have a reason for having a security system installed?”
“He says I attract trouble and he needed to know I was safe since he wouldn’t be around anymore.”
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