Heart Ache (Bound by a Touch Novels #1)

by Morgan Kearns

  He sucked in a deep breath, held it in his lungs for a moment, released it, and made his decision. The shoes needed to be retrieved—sooner rather than later. His eyes closed, picturing where he wanted to vaporize.

  In the next second, Nikolai stood on Gabrielle’s balcony. Through the window he could see her sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee with her nose buried in the morning paper.

  A momentary pang of disappointment surged through him as he noticed she’d already dressed for work. She always sported conservative office attire, but from the short stint in her closet he knew she had a wild side. There was more to his Gabrielle than pencil skirts, twill slacks, and professional blouses.

  He forced his mind back on task and quickly changed his plan. He vaporized directly into her bedroom, fetched his size thirteen Lugz safely hidden under her bed.

  Knowing he should leave didn’t make him do so.

  The morning crew at KHB droned on with the news. A flutter of paper signaled the turning of a page. She giggled softly at something and Niko wanted to be the one making her smile. He wanted to be her everything.

  Knowing she sat only a few inches of drywall away, yet totally out of reach was painful. It would be easy to appear at her front door. He could knock and ask to join her for coffee. Or offer to give her a ride to work. Or push her against the wall and kiss her until they were both crazed.

  A shake of his head dismissed his asinine thoughts. If he didn’t get out of here, he was going to do something he wouldn’t be able to take back.

  Closing his eyes, he willed his body to evaporate out of her presence and back into the lonely room that was his and his alone. He never brought a female to the place where he actually slept. There was another master suite down the hall he used for the rare occasion a female accompanied him home. The very rare occasion.

  He hadn’t so much as touched a female since the moment he’d shaken Gabrielle’s hand. He hadn’t wanted to. From her very first touch, she held every part of him in her delicate hands.

  His vampiric speed made his morning routine a quick one and he was ready in no time. He straightened his tie, trying to ignore the empty ache in his chest. Niko closed his eyes and stretched his senses to make sure it was safe, then focused on his destination.

  The quiet, dark stillness of his office cloned that of his mood. Gabby hadn’t arrived yet. A smile spread to his lips. He loved when he was able to surprise her by getting to work first.

  This morning, though, his anxiety outweighed his smugness. He sighed and sat down behind his desk where he waited—and waited—with his fingers entwined, resting on the blotter, and his legs crossed at the ankles. He’d tried pacing, but it only added to the nervous energy currently driving him to the verge of madness.

  Every inch of him knew the moment Gabrielle entered the outer office. Not only did his heart start beating and the ache in his chest disappear, but her scent entered with her, causing his nose to flare and his every muscle to go taut in anticipation.

  He tried to stay sitting behind the large desk, but having an obstacle between him and his female was more than he could handle. The battle was lost and Nikolai knew it. To his surprise, he didn’t care. His feelings for her started with a single touch three years ago and had grown into love. He waited for a few minutes, listening as she turned on her computer and stowed her things in her desk.

  When she flipped on the small radio on her desk, he cursed. Well, hell. If she wasn’t going to come to him, he would have to close the gap between them—emotionally and physically.

  He raked his fingers through his hair, pulling slightly in frustration. Despite his every effort to stay in his chair, he stood, then strode to the door with confidence he didn’t feel. His hand wrapped around the handle but he paused to take a breath.

  What if she was avoiding him? What if everything that happened last night had freaked her out? What if…?

  The door opened only to stop as it whacked into him; his head and chest absorbing most of the impact. His eyes watered and his nose ran. He sniffed and blinked, trying to see Gabrielle clearly.

  “Oh!” She peeked through the opening in the doorway. “I’m so sorry, Niko. Are you okay?”

  She opened the door when it was safe and reached out toward him. Before contact was made she paused. Time stood still in that moment. Her hand shook where it suspended between them, and when she pulled back, Nikolai felt the retreat in his soul.

  “I didn’t realize you were here already.” A quick evaluation of the office—and the lack of illumination—had her looking directly into his eyes. “Do you have a headache?”

  He rubbed at his temples. “Now that you mention it—”

  “Can I get you some Tylenol?”

  “No, Gabrielle,” he purred her name. “Tylenol can’t fix the ache I’m feeling.”

  “Oh.” Her forehead wrinkled into the cutest look of confusion. “Is there anything I can get you that will?”

  Your love. Your heart. You.

  It wasn’t like he could make that kind of declaration. She’d probably go running for the hills.

  “No. It will pass.” Someday. He rubbed absently at his chest where the real ache existed.

  “Niko.” Her delicate hand curled timidly around his forearm, squeezing gently.

  Fire burned from the point of contact, spreading until his entire body was aflame from her simple touch. His eyes drifted closed and he concentrated on nothing except Gabby’s warm hand on his arm.

  She pulled back and he felt a chill rivaling an arctic blast. “About yesterday…” Her eyes met his, holding his gaze for a long moment before she shook her head. “I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.”

  That wasn’t what she’d meant to say, he was sure of it. But when the door closed, so had the opportunity to ask her to tell him what was really on her mind.

  Hours later Nikolai stood behind Gabrielle; one hand on her desk and the other on the back of her chair. Her body was well aware of the closeness, the brief contact of his chest brushing her shoulder. Her hands shook as she tried to notate the changes that needed to be made to the report they were discussing. Or rather the report he was looking at. She wasn’t able to think of anything except how damn close he was and every cell in her body demanded she touch him, to be touched by him.

  “Gabrielle?”

  She tipped her head toward him and gasped when she realized a slight lift of her chin would bring them lip to lip.

  “Huh?” she asked in a pathetic, dreamy whisper.

  His eyes twinkled and a wide smile spread to his perfect lips. “I said … we need to get the report over to Vincent as soon as possible.”

  “Of course, Nikolai.”

  He tensed and she felt his sharp intake of breath suck past her cheek. She stiffened and cringed, wishing like hell there was a way to go back and redo the last five minutes. Where were Wayne and Garth when you needed them?

  “I’m sorry. I—”

  His hand moved in slow caresses over her back and his lips were suddenly right at her ear.

  “Please Gabrielle,” he purred, his accent uncharacteristically prominent, and oh, so very sexy, “call me Nikolai.”

  Those words.

  She blinked. Her mind raced along with her heart. This wasn’t the first time he’d spoken those words. But when…

  “Wh- what?” She turned to watch him carefully, looking for answers to the how’s and why’s of that phrase from his kissable lips.

  He took a step back as if anticipating her action as she stood. The heart-stopping smile was back.

  “What?” His innocent act only heightened her suspicions and made him utterly adorable.

  She took a step toward him, leaving nothing but air between them. “What did you just say to me?”

  There wasn’t a doubt, large or small, in Nikolai’s mind she remembered the hours she’d spent curled in his arms. Her forehead creased, her brows knitted together in confusion. A smile touched his lips as his body surge
d with a sense of success.

  “I asked you to call me Nikolai. Is that a problem?”

  Her blue eyes sparkled as she searched his face, his eyes, his body language for some kind of answer to explain away what her mind was telling her.

  Nikolai fought to keep his excitement in check. He forced his face to remain emotionless and hoped she wouldn’t see it in his eyes. Anticipating her glance, he dropped his gaze and watched from under his lashes as she shifted her weight from one delicately high-heeled foot to the other.

  He finally had an ace up his sleeve and tipping his hand now wasn’t something he wanted to do. He would win her heart. With help from the beloved Goddess, he would.

  “Please, I would like it very much if you called me by my full name.”

  “Nikolai?”

  “Yes.” He smiled. “My mother used to call me Niko, but—”

  “Nikolai.” Each syllable caressed her tongue as she said his name slowly, reverently.

  “I like that … very much.” He was barely able to speak as he processed just how very much he liked it. He’d never experienced pleasure like that one word being spoken from her perfect lips.

  “And I—” She paused to bite her lower lip, dropping her face to look at the floor.

  He’d always kept a professional relationship at the office. That seemed to be their problem. He’d never crossed that professional line. He wasn’t going to make that mistake any longer. He slipped his finger under the soft skin of her chin and lifted it gently.

  “Please tell me what you’re thinking, sweet Gabrielle.”

  Her eyes met his for only a heartbeat before her lids dropped, hiding the blue depths.

  “Nobody calls me Gabrielle,” she said in a whisper.

  The words struck him like a slap. He took a step back, dropping his hand to his side, feeling like a balloon punctured by a railroad spike. Maybe opening himself up to her, crossing that imaginary line wasn’t such a good idea after all.

  “I’m sorry.” Disappointment radiated in his voice, and he turned his back to her, fearing his face gave too much away. The sounds of her moving behind him alerted him to her pursuit.

  He’d almost made it to his desk before her hand caught his arm and he allowed the gentle contact to halt his retreat; although he couldn’t bring himself to turn and face her. Seeing rejection in her eyes would devastate him as nothing else could.

  “Nikolai,” she whispered.

  He closed his eyes again. He would never tire of hearing his name on her lips. It was even more beautiful when she was conscious.

  “Nikolai Voinea!”

  It had been so long since his full name had been used to reprimand him that he was momentarily struck stupid. His brows flew up. His mouth fell open and, despite his every effort, he turned to face her. He looked down into her face, expecting to see her with hands on her hips, glaring up at him. But with eyes wide, she appeared to be as shocked as he was.

  Silence stretched on as they just stared at each other. And just when he thought she was going to apologize, she straightened her shoulders disapprovingly.

  “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “Am I?” He cocked a brow.

  She tossed him a saucy smile. The sweet, playful grin eased the irritation. “Yes,” she scoffed, taking a step toward him.

  He turned his back to her, stalked over to his desk, and lowered himself into the chair, then motioned for Gabby to use one on the other side of the wooden barrier. He needed to keep his distance and putting the desk between them was his only hope.

  She smirked then rested one side of her fine rear on the corner of his desk just to his left.

  “It wasn’t that I don’t want you to call me Gabrielle. It’s just that everybody calls me Gabby.” She rolled her eyes and emphasized the movement with a girlish giggle. “Well, except for my mother when I was in trouble.”

  “I won’t—”

  Her hand flew up and her fingertips covered his lips. In the heartbeat that followed Nikolai wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the contact. Her eyes closed and he watched as she smiled, seemingly enjoying the intimate contact. Her eyes flicked open and she jerked her hand back like he had suddenly burst into flames.

  “If you still want to, I’d like it if you called me Gabrielle … and use your accent,” she added under her breath.

  “My accent?”

  “Yeah … oh, never mind.” She stood and took a step away.

  Nikolai jumped to his feet, grabbed her arm, and spun her around so she faced him. He looked deep into her eyes, capturing her complete attention. Neither of them breathed for a few seconds. Nikolai leaned forward until his lips were right at her ear.

  “Anything you want, sweet Gabrielle.” He allowed the accent he’d tried to erase for centuries to ooze thick on each syllable of her name.

  She blushed the most delicious shade of crimson, and he smiled in satisfaction.

  “I, ah … I really should—” She stumbled as she backed away, her eyes still locked on his. “I’ve got … things to do.” Her back hit the door and air whooshed from her lungs.

  “You know I would be a mess without you? I need you.”

  “Thank you.” She jerked the door open. “If you … um … need anything—” With eyes still on him, she shook her head as though she were trying to focus, then she cleared her throat. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

  He smiled and raised a brow. Where to begin?

  She blushed, dropped her gaze. “Mr. Voinea.” She drew the proverbial line in the sand by using his formal title.

  “I’m fine, thanks.” Better than fine, he thought as she walked out the door, leaving it ajar. It felt good to flirt with Gabrielle, so natural. And Nikolai looked forward to many more conversations to bring out the red hues that made her beauty even more intoxicating.

  As absurd as it was, Gabrielle couldn’t bring herself to close his door all the way. Nikolai had never been so … flirtatious.

  Was that what it was?

  Maybe he was just being nice—overly nice.

  The only thing she knew for sure about the bizarre conversation was the way he purred her name made her toes curl. A shiver ran up then raced back down her spine as she remembered the silver sparkle in his usually dark eyes.

  Damn, he was a gorgeous man. His accent alone caused a girl’s knees to buckle.

  An annoying ring brought her out of her thoughts.

  “Mr. Voinea’s office,” Gabby said into the phone and she sat down at her desk.

  “Gabby!” Marie laughed.

  “Good morning.”

  “You sound distracted.”

  Well, yeah, she was. Big time.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She shot a glance at the still open door. “Can you meet me in the cafeteria for a cup of coffee?”

  “Coffee … in the cafeteria? What’s wrong?” Gabby didn’t comment, so Marie continued, “Okay. Give me fifteen minutes.”

  “Thanks.”

  Gabby hung up the phone and mindlessly began organizing—and reorganizing—the stack of papers in her ‘in’ basket. Her fingers traced over the elegant signature of her boss, and she wished it was her name written by his strong hand. With Voinea at the end.

  Another ring made her focus on reality. “Mr. Voinea’s office.”

  “Is Nikolai in?” the feminine voice purred the question.

  “He’s on another call. Is there something I can help you with?”

  “I’d like to leave a message. Please let him know Patricia called to confirm our date tonight. Tell him I can’t wait.”

  Jealousy swirled in Gabby’s gut. She swallowed. “I’ll let him know.”

  Without waiting for a response she hung up. She’d always assumed Nikolai dated, but knowing it stung. Big time!

  These feelings she had for her boss were wrong on so many levels; the desire, the ache, the need, the desperation. But she’d be damned if she could change a single one of them. Hell, she’
d been trying for three years.

  Nikolai smiled as Gabrielle left his office. She’d been flustered beyond words. He’d finally had an effect on the beautiful female who made his heart flutter. It was only fair. After allowing himself a few selfish moments of smug satisfaction, he crossed the office to the large bookcase and pulled the lone book, the Voinea family bible, from a shelf in the middle. Behind it was the hallowed out space in the wall where he’d installed a small refrigerator.

  He took a medical bag out and replaced the wood paneling and the bible. As he poured the bag into his glass, his fangs lengthened.

  Despite having found his heartmate, Nikolai still required more than love for sustenance. With a little luck, someday that would change.

  The thought of feeding from Gabrielle was one that Nikolai couldn’t think on too much. Once he took her blood within his veins he would need her for survival. A cold, unbeating heart would make him wish for death. But if she was no longer willing to give her blood, death would be a painful reality.

  Sounds of Gabrielle moving around in the outer office caused Nikolai’s anxiety to flare. She couldn’t find him like this; red eyes and fangs would be even harder to explain than an out-of-place pair of shoes under her bed.

  He walked across the room in determined strides and softly closed the door. It only took three gulps to down the red liquid. He rinsed the glass at the small wet bar and placed the empty bag in the garbage under the sink.

  His fangs were just returning to their normal position, and the tell-tale red hue in his eyes easing when someone knocked lightly on the door.

  “Yes?” He knew exactly who would be opening the door, his body’s reaction was indication enough.

  Gabrielle’s tropical scent accompanied her inside the office. “Niko—I mean Nikolai, I’m going down to the cafeteria for some coffee.”

  He raised his brows. There wasn’t a place with worse coffee than the crap brewed downstairs. It was flat-out awful.

  “Cafeteria coffee, Gabrielle? You must really need some caffeine.”