Heart Ache (Bound by a Touch Novels #1)

by Morgan Kearns

  She tucked an auburn lock behind her ear. “Well, I—”

  “It’s okay, Gabby.”

  “I’ll be back in a little bit.” She turned, paused then turned back to him. “Can I bring you something?”

  “Are you trying to kill me?”

  “No, I—”

  A dark, warm chuckle bubbled from his throat. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

  A storm raged in her blue eyes. He didn’t understand her dark mood even when she tossed a message onto his desk. “You should probably return this as soon as possible.”

  When the door closed, he picked up the message and plucked the phone from its cradle, only to set it back down. His brows pinched in confusion.

  He didn’t have a date tonight. And who the hell was Patricia?

  Gabrielle stormed out of Nikolai’s office, strode passed her desk, and escaped out the door. She didn’t want to give herself a chance to go back into his office make a fool of herself—again.

  Damn, she felt pathetic!

  The elevator in the hall dinged, announcing its arrival. She entered and pushed the button for the lobby. The door closed and she sighed when her body finally relaxed against the wood panels along the back wall.

  Whenever she was near Nikolai, her skin tingled and she had to remind herself to keep her hands to herself. And now she finds out he’s dating. Dating! She couldn’t help but wonder how many women he had on speed dial. Did he have a new one every night?

  Ugh! Why did it matter?

  She was engaged.

  “Stupid!” She lifted her hand to examine the diamond and muttered the name of the man she should be obsessing about.

  She examined at the pattern of the tile floor instead of looking at her reflection in the stainless steel door. There was no need to see the guilt she felt.

  Another ding signaled her destination. She looked up just as the doors revealed Marie. The puzzled expression on her face and her hands planted on her hips made Gabby rethink the coffee break idea.

  “Hi.” Gabby forced a small, guilt ridden smile.

  “Don’t hi me. What’s going on?”

  “Shh!” Gabby grabbed a hold of her friend and tugged her off to the side. The only sounds the clicking of her stilettos and Marie’s high-heeled boots as they hurried through the empty lobby, past the cafeteria, and out the back doors.

  “Um, I thought—”

  “Can I talk to you?” Gabby stopped walking and turned to face her friend.

  “Isn’t that why you dragged me out here?” Marie sat down on a brick planter box and patted the spot next to her. “What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you so rattled.”

  Gabby plopped down, heaving a frustrated sigh. She rested her chin in her hand, her elbow on her knee. Her skirt rose up her thigh. She stood, smoothed her skirt back down below her knees.

  “You cannot tell anyone…”

  “Have I ever broken your confidence?”

  “No, but—” She straightened. “—this is bad, Marie.”

  “Did you have a fight with Jayson?”

  “No.” Gabby dropped back down and did an impression of The Thinker, trying to come up with the best way to tell her best friend she was in love with her boss.

  Damn! Was that what this was? Could she really be in love with Nikolai? And if she was, what should she do about Jayson?

  “Dammit, spit it out! You’re freaking me out. What’s wrong? Gabby!” Marie snapped.

  “I’ve been having dreams.”

  Marie’s eyes flicked up to the windows of Niko’s office then she leaned close and whispered, “About him?”

  Gabby nodded.

  Her best friend had the audacity to laugh. “So? Who doesn’t dream about that man?”

  “They’ve changed though. Since the day I met him, I’ve been dreaming of him, but last night—” Gabby sighed. “Last night, it was almost as if he were in my room.”

  “It was a dream.”

  “There’s more.”Gabby grabbed some of her own hair and shoved it under Marie’s nose. She jerked back.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Sniff.” She shoved the hair under her nose again.

  Marie’s eyes widened then narrowed, but she complied. There was a quiet sound of air being taken into her nose, then her eyes closed and a light moan escaped her lips.

  “Wow, that’s a great new shampoo you’ve got. Where can I get me some of that?”

  Gabby was quickly losing her patience. She huffed a breath out her nose. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I didn’t get a new shampoo. This is Nikolai’s scent.”

  “Nikolai’s scent?”

  “All I know is: I went to sleep. Had fabulous dreams. And then woke up smelling like … him!”

  “I would love to wake up smelling like—” Marie exhaled on a husky growl, her eyes returning to the window. “—him.”

  “Stop it!” Gabby stood again, pacing from one end of the planter to the other. She tugged her hair to her own nose and inhaled, unable to get enough of the intoxicating smell. “It’s not just my hair; I could smell him everywhere.”

  Black brows wiggled suggestively. “Everywhere?”

  “Be serious, will you?”

  “Fine. Sorry. But I don’t understand.”

  “That makes two of us.” Gabby let her frustration escape on a groan.

  “I mean it’s not like he was really there.” Marie’s tone suggested she thought Gabby belonged in a padded room.

  “But what if he was?” Did she actually believe it was a possibility? She sniffed her hair again. Maybe. She kicked at some red bark that had escaped from the flowerbed. She jammed her hands into her pockets and chanced a look at her friend.

  Marie looked at her like she was fitting her for a straightjacket.

  “I feel like I’m going crazy.” She blew out a breath, puffing her cheeks. “Nikolai is all I can think about. I’m supposed to be marrying Jayson for hell’s sake!”

  “Why are you marrying Jayson?”

  The accusation caused her to stop in her tracks. She glared at her friend.

  “Because I love him?” It sounded like a question and she cringed at the uncertainty in her voice—and in her heart.

  “You love him?” Marie nodded. “What about Nikolai; do you love him?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” She started pacing again, making another circuit around the planter box.

  “Why?”

  “Because he could never feel that way about me.”

  “How do you know?” When Gabby held her tongue, Marie stood and grabbed her by the arm. Dark eyes flashed. “You can’t marry one man if you’re in love with another.”

  “But I can’t continue to pine away for a man who may never love me in return, either. Jayson is a good man. He’ll be a good husband … and he loves me.”

  “What if he—” Marie glanced up the five floors to the windows that would be Nikolai’s office. “—does love you?”

  Her head tipped back as she followed Marie’s line of sight and wondered if Nikolai was watching her from behind the dark tinted glass.

  “He has never given me any reason to believe that he sees me as anything more than his assistant.”

  Marie shook her head and rolled her eyes. “What do you want me to say?”

  “I gue- … I guess I just needed to talk it out.”

  Her cell rang. She smiled when Nikolai’s number flashed on the caller id.

  “Let me guess,” Marie said sarcastically, “it’s not Jayson.”

  “How did you…?”

  “Because you don’t smile like that when he calls.”

  She scowled then answered sweetly, “Hello?”

  “Gabrielle,” the silky voice purred her name, causing delicious warmth to engulf her.

  “Yes, do you need something?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving for the day. I’ll see you … tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” Disappointment emanated in her voice, vibra
ting through the rest of her. “Tomorrow then.”

  The line went dead and she sighed.

  Marie shook her head. “I don’t know what to tell you, but it seems to me—”

  “I need to see Jayson.”

  Chapter Five

  The Law Office of Jayson McDade.

  Gabrielle reached out and traced the placard on the wall next to the door. She still wasn’t sure what she was going to do when she saw her fiancé. She’d been so sure when driving across town, but now that she was here … not so much.

  Standing in the hall all afternoon wasn’t an option. Either she went in or went home. She opened the door and pushed her way into the office.

  “Oh, hi,” the receptionist crooned. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.” She attempted a smile and secured her purse straps on her shoulder. The last topic she wanted to discuss was her recent engagement, especially with the nosey woman who answered Jayson’s phones. “Is Jayson in?”

  “Yeah, he’s in his office.” Her voice trailed off as Gabby walked down the long hallway to the last door.

  She opened the heavy door and squinted as the sunlight reflected off the light oak floors. Two burgundy leather chairs waited for those seeking legal counsel. Jayson sat behind an enormous maple desk. The muscles in his forearms flexed with the movements of his fingers as he typed at his keyboard. His eyes narrowed on the screen, then he grabbed a pencil and scribbled some notes on a yellow pad.

  “Hi.”

  He jumped in surprise, looked up and smiled slowly. His eyes roamed over her body and his smile widened.

  “Gabs, what are you doing here?” He ran a hand over his honey blond hair, a single wavy lock dropped back onto his tanned forehead. “I’m kinda in the middle of something. What do you need?”

  What the hell did she need?

  She needed an explanation of her feelings for Jayson. She needed to feel the passion for him that she felt for Nikolai. She needed to care for only one man. And she really, really wanted it to be the man in front of her. The man who’d given her his ring.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come.”

  Her eyes burned, and she blinked violently in an attempt to keep them at bay. He deserved so much better than a woman who could only offer half her heart. Yet she deserved to be happy. Didn’t she?

  “Gabby, what’s wrong?” His hazel eyes darkened with worry. He stood, leaning forward on his desk. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

  “I’m fine. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” She turned to go, but Jayson’s voice stopped her.

  “Ah, hell, I’m sorry, baby.” He pushed back from the desk and opened his arms. “Come here.”

  She felt like a fool, but she needed the comfort he offered even more. She hurried toward him and cuddled into the strength of his embrace. He was much larger than she was and he cradled her against his chest. He smoothed back her hair and his soft lips pressed against her forehead.

  “Feeling better?”

  “Yeah.” Mostly … not. Standing, she reached for his hand and tugged at it.

  He checked his watch. “Listen, babe, I don’t mean to rush you, but I’ve got a meeting in ten minutes and I—”

  “I just need one thing from you.”

  “Okay, one quick thing.” Again checking his watch.

  “Kiss me.”

  A warm chuckle rumbled from him just before his lips met hers for a quick peck. “Okay, I’ll see you la—”

  “No, Jayson.” She swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. His brows pulled down low. “Kiss me. Really kiss me.”

  His shoulders lifted in shrug and then his arm swung around her waist dramatically, bringing their lower bodies in firm contact. She got the impression he was making fun of her, whereas this situation was completely serious for her. She needed this.

  She was well aware of the way her body reacted to him; her pulse was steady and his kisses were nice enough. But Gabby wished desperately his touch could rival Nikolai’s. All it took was a look or a smile from him and her knees went weak. Hell, being in the same room made her skin tingle.

  She sighed and focused on the handsome face only inches from hers.

  With one hand cupping her bottom, the other cradled her face. He tipped his head to the side and smashed his mouth against hers.

  He ran his tongue over the seam of her mouth and she opened for him, but he never dipped inside. Her body warmed. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to melt into him. He pulled back, gave her another kiss on the tip of her nose.

  “How was that?”

  It was okay. Just okay. Nothing to write home about.

  “Good.” She kissed his smile a second before it became a frown.

  “Just good?” He sounded offended and the look on his face verified it—with a little hurt thrown in. His eyes searched her face. “Look, Gabs, can we talk about this later?”

  She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his again. His grip tightened, crushing her to him. She’d thrown down the gauntlet and he picked it up, eager to prove he could do better than just ‘good.’

  He slipped his tongue between her lips and moaned when she ground herself against him. His body melded to hers, and she forced all thought of anything—anyone—that wasn’t Jayson out of her mind.

  With hands that shook, she slowly moved over the starched cotton until they reached the knot of his silk tie, loosening it before unbuttoning the top few buttons to stroke the taut bare skin that rested just underneath. She made quick work of the buttons, then quickly untucked the fabric from his slacks. His abdomen tensed, but it was the only part of him that seemed to react to her movements.

  “My meeting—” The rest of his protest was lost on a groan.

  Gabrielle now knew why she’d come here. Her relationship with Jayson lacked passion because she lacked passion for him. Today, right here, right now, she would throw gasoline on the flicker of her feelings and ignite an inferno between them, incinerating whatever she felt for Niko.

  The second her hands brushed the bare skin of Jayson’s waist a hiss crossed his teeth. He closed his eyes. Gabrielle closed hers, too, and, the moment she did, Nikolai’s face was there, smiling brightly through the darkness. A look of pleasure blossomed in his dark eyes which made the silver even more pronounced than usual before disappearing behind the fringe of his lashes. The muscles of his chest tensed under the exploration of her fingertips. She flattened her hands against his skin and moved her palms up and over his shoulders which pushed the cotton down his arms.

  She pressed a kiss to his heart thumping strongly in his muscular chest. Then she stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed a trail from his shoulder to his neck to his ear.

  A beep infiltrated the heavy breathing. “Your one o’clock is here,” said a feminine voice, an irritating echo in the back of her mind.

  “Thank you,” came the breathless reply from the man she was kissing as he tried to push her away with his trapped hands.

  There was another beep, and she sighed, happy that the interruption was over. Her hands moved back down his strong torso toward the part of him she wanted most.

  His groan was filled with agony and he took her wrists in his hand then stepped back. He shook her gently.

  “Gabby.”

  With eyes still closed, and a determination not to end this moment, she couldn’t deny that something wasn’t right. She inhaled, recognizing the scent around her familiar, but not the one she ached for.

  She opened her eyes slowly, meeting the hungry green ones she knew would be there.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, hating that she’d used the man who loved her to fantasize about the one she—

  So much for igniting passion for Jayson.

  “Gabby.” He pulled her into a hug. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He groaned and shifted things around below his belt. “We’ll just have to finish this later.”

  Guilt started
in the pit of her stomach and nausea threatened to expose what little she’d eaten today. She had no right to hurt Jayson—and didn’t want to. Yet it seemed inevitable.

  Jayson quickly went about the task of redressing himself, which consisted of him unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants to stuff the shirt back to where it belonged.

  She watched the stuff and tuck … and felt a whole lot of ho-hum. There was no buzzing in her skin, no insane need to rip his clothes from his body. She sighed.

  He rebuttoned his shirt. “Are you okay, babe?”

  “Huh?” She blinked. “I’m … fine.”

  Yeah, she was so not fine!

  She was engaged to one man, and spent every waking minute—and sleeping ones, too—wishing another man would swoop in and claim the heart she’d already given him.

  “Here let me help you with that.” She stepped toward Jayson and took each end of his tie in one of her hands.

  Silence choked her. She resisted the urge to scream as he rearranged his clothes, his movements forced and jerky. He was still hot under the collar, and Gabby wrestled with a way to explain her behavior. Was she going crazy?

  Nope, she’d reached that status a long time ago.

  Nikolai was like a drug to her, an addictive drug that needed to be purged from her system if she hoped for any chance at happiness with Jayson.

  Jayson’s lips brushed lightly across her forehead and she lifted her eyes to meet his.

  “So, I’ll see you later?” He leaned down to kiss her and Gabby turned her head to receive it on her cheek. “My place or yours?”

  “Yours,” she said quietly.

  Ridiculous as it was, she didn’t want Nikolai to happen by with Jayson in her apartment. She mentally slapped herself, but reacted with a physical wince.

  “Your couch is better … for watching movies,” she added with a giggle that sounded more like a whimper.

  His chuckle was warm and only made her guilt deepen. “I’ll see you later then.” Large hands cradled her face. “I love you, Gabs.”

  She smiled, and hoped it was realistic enough to not cause him to be suspicious.

  “You, too.”

  He kissed her again and then swatted her behind as she turned to exit his office.