Danu

by T L Harty

  It couldn’t be easy for Jed to report the events of that night, even while omitting the details. It took a kind of bravery that I’m not sure I recognized in him before tonight.

  “The following year was a living hell,” he shared. “Between the disappointment on my mother’s face and trying to come to terms with being a father to Charlie- it was all too much. Cassidy certainly didn’t make things any easier by lying. I never doubted for a minute that the baby was mine. What did I know? Hook, line and sinker…”

  Jed deciding to be with Cassidy was his own doing, but what Cassidy put him through after that was not his fault. It is never enjoyable to be lied to.

  “How did you find out the baby wasn’t yours?” I wondered.

  “From my high school biology class,” he answered, shaking his head in disbelief. “We were doing blood type experiments. The chart said that when both parents were type B, the baby could either be blood type B or type O. Charlie’s blood type was A. That meant the father had to be blood type A or AB.”

  “Was she honest with you after you told her what you discovered?” I wondered.

  “I didn’t give her a chance to explain,” Jed huffed. “Charlie was at Cassidy’s house. I picked up a few belongings, and told Cassidy’s mom that I wouldn’t be back. She didn’t even flinch. She knew. I haven’t seen any of them in over a year. It would have been different if I loved Cassidy, but I never did.”

  “Wow,” I exclaimed. “I wonder if they ever planned to tell you.”

  “Doubt it,” Jed said. “It feels like I’ve been given a second chance at everything. I can breathe again…think about a different future. That’s why one of the first things I needed to do was beg for your forgiveness.” Jed got down on one knee, grabbing my hand.

  “You’re not going to ask me to marry you again, are you?” I asked, annoyed.

  He shook his head no, while smiling. “Muriel, would you do me the honor of forgiving my idiotic ways,” he pleaded. “My actions were hurtful and not what you deserved. I really am sorry if I hurt you.” He stood up, patting the dust off his pants.

  His misdeeds were forgiven immediately. Giving him a big hug, I whispered, “All is forgiven.”

  The embrace lasted longer than it should have. “Your boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate me hugging you like this,” Jed joked.

  “No, he probably wouldn’t,” I concurred. “It’s a good thing that I don’t have one.”

  Jed still kept his arms around me, but lifted his head off my shoulder, to look at me. “How is that possible?” he questioned. He embraced me again, with his mouth by my ear, whispering, “You need someone to appreciate everything about you…everything.”

  The sweet nothings became little kisses on my ears and neck, making me weak in the knees. My eyes were rolling back in my head by the time his lips touched mine. His kiss was more commanding than it was two years ago. Jed was no longer meek about making a move. His right hand held the side of my head, while his other hand was roaming around my back.

  “Muriel, are you out there?” Grammy asked into the night.

  “Yes, Grammy,” I replied, staring into Jed’s eyes. “I just woke up. I’ll be right up.”

  Jed frowned at my response. I wasn’t particularly fond of my own answer. It would have been lovely to stay under the stars with him all night.

  “Is Jed still around?” Grammy asked.

  “I’m sure he’s around somewhere,” I answered, still staring at him. “Would you like me to tell him that you’re looking for him?”

  “No, no,” she replied.

  The screen door shut, letting me know that she had gone back into the house.

  “I have to go,” I giggled.

  “I know,” he pouted, leaning into me. “Thank you for accepting my apology.”

  “It was a really good apology,” I smirked. Putting my hand on the side of his face, my tone got serious. “I figure that I am owed about five, maybe six heart-felt apologies from various people right now,” I shared. “You can’t understand how much this means to me. Thank you for taking the time to think of me.” I kissed his cheek, turning to walk toward the house.

  “That’s just it,” Jed called after me. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  The cool breeze carried the smell of the nearby trees along my path. I didn’t turn around or ruin the moment with words. I just breathed in the night, smiling while I walked.

  Chapter 13- St. Brigid

  Bridget came to the castle in the evening. Unlike all the other women so far, Bridget was not a light packer, lugging in several bags. When she arrived, I was in the library with Deidra. The window that looked out on the castle entrance was a perfect vantage point to witness all the comings and goings.

  Tina waited to load up her bags. She would be leaving tonight, and to my surprise, I would miss her immensely. During the week, we learned how much we have in common and really enjoyed each other’s company. Our goodbyes had already been exchanged at lunch…involving a few misty eyes.

  Even though Tina would be missed, it was Bridget’s week of training that I had looked forward to most of all. Many of my unanswered questions had been waiting for her arrival.

  Deidra noticed that I was looking out the window, and came over to look too. “Are you going to talk to her tonight?” she asked.

  “No,” I answered. “I should give her time to settle in before barraging her with questions.”

  “You better be careful, Mom,” Deidra warned. “That sounds vaguely like patience. Do you want any pointers on the subject?” Deidra laughed.

  I wrapped my arm around her neck, kissing the top of her head. Bridget looked up to the library window, and Deidra and I fell to the ground like guilt-ridden teenagers. We looked at each other, wondering why we felt the need to drop to the floor.

  “Maybe you should call your dad,” I suggested to Deidra.

  Deidra shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe,” she said. “I miss him, but what are we supposed to talk about? It’s not like I can tell him what I’ve been up to. Can you imagine trying to explain the plan to pick a husband?” Deidra exhaled, at the thought of it.

  “You can go with Macy and me to see him in a couple of weeks,” I told her. “Maybe your grandparents will be there too.”

  Deidra didn’t respond. Behind her eyes, there was some deep thought whirling around, but she often kept most things to herself. How I longed to get inside that teenage mind of hers, but admittance was rarely available to me. She stood up, retrieved a book off the shelf and bid me goodnight.

  My conscience crept up on me, and as much as I dreaded it- a phone call to Rick was well overdue. We needed to talk about moving forward. If there was a chance for our marriage, I was willing to try. My anger still smoldered, but thinking about our family might be enough to get over his error in judgement.

  After getting to my room, I dialed the phone.

  “Hello,” Rick answered.

  “Hi, Rick. It’s Muriel,” I said.

  “Oh. Hi,” he uncomfortably replied.

  “So, I thought it might be a good idea to talk about what we want to do,” I suggested.

  “I want a divorce,” he blurted out. “The lawyer already drew up papers a couple days ago. If we both agree to all the terms, we just need to sign them so we can move on with our lives.”

  “What are the terms?” I asked.

  “Joint custody,” he explained. “We can figure the details out later.”

  “It sounds like you already have everything figured out,” I said. His curt conversation was annoying. He had his mind made up, and the fact that we didn’t decide things together left me seething. “I get full custody or Lorrah becomes the star in our divorce proceedings,” I demanded. “Of course you can see Deidra whenever you want, but we may want to move out of state.”

  “That’s not fair,” he complained. “Deidra means the world to me.”

  “If that were the case,” I pointed out, “you would have thought about her bef
ore you dropped your trousers, you ass!”

  He hung up. No doubt, he regretted the act shortly after he did it because he didn’t have my number. I imagined him slamming down the phone in anger, and then getting mad all over again when he remembered he couldn’t get ahold of me to sign the divorce papers. I’d let him stew for a while before calling again.

  That night, sleep wasn’t easily obtained. If divorce was going to be my path, I felt the need to mull over our entire married life. Who was to blame? How did we fall apart so easily? The feeling of failure sat heavy on my chest.

  Waking up the next morning was accomplished at a snail’s pace. Deidra popped into my room to walk down to breakfast with me, but she decided not to wait. My morning cup of coffee took twice as long to drink, which was not helpful. The conversation with Rick last night had left me void of energy.

  Bridget was already at the table when I arrived for breakfast. She smiled, exposing a little crooked tooth on the side of her mouth. The other council members looked much like women that could be found throughout my middle-class neighborhood back home, but Bridget and Macy were different. Because of that, I observed them more closely.

  Our breakfasts were served. I thanked the woman giving us our plates of food. Deidra thanked the woman too, but did so by name. It was shameful that, after being here for more than two weeks, I didn’t know any of their names.

  “After breakfast,” Bridget announced, “we will go right into your training.”

  I nodded, still not enthused about much. Another cup of coffee was in order.

  “Deidra,” Bridget said, “you are going to spend time with Bruce today. There are things that need to be tended to around the castle.” Bridget saw my reaction just at the mention of Bruce’s name. It escaped Deidra’s notice because she was equally excited that he was back.

  “Where will our training be today?” I asked, trying to seem unaffected by Bruce’s presence in the castle.

  “Let’s go to the greenhouse patio,” Bridget answered. “That’s most appropriate for today’s plans.” Long after she was done with her instructions, she stared at me. It wasn’t a menacing stare, just one that made me uncomfortable. Excusing myself from the table, but more likely from her stare, I went to wash up before training.

  The greenhouse was still my favorite room in the castle. When I sat on the patio chairs, memories of the time spent here with Bruce flooded my mind- until Bridget could be heard making her way to the patio.

  She stopped to smell some of the plants or picked pieces of them off. Her clothes were reminiscent of robes, and her hair was wild. The term witch doctor came to mind. Bridget carried a little basket with her that had bottled water in it. The basket was also where she placed her collected plant samples.

  Once Bridget placed her basket on a little table, she moved a chair closer to me. A screeching sound emanated from the chair as it was drug across the floor. Everything about Bridget was unsettling. After handing me a bottle of water, she took her seat.

  We sat there for ten minutes in silence, occasionally drinking water. It was odd that Bridget didn’t carry a notebook or other papers. I expected to receive an outline of this week’s training because there was a lot to cover.

  “I’ve called the council members,” Bridget told me. “We may have to extend this week, as you are not prepared to receive any of my training right now.”

  Bridget was the person that was going to explain the purpose of all of this. I needed to know that piece of information more than anything. Between the phone call with Rick and the disappointing beginning to this conversation- my patience was at an end.

  “I want to leave,” I blurted out. “Whatever all of this is, it’s not for me.” I spoke the words, but knew there was barely any truth to them.

  “Stop being so obstinate,” Bridget commanded. “You’re acting like a ridiculous little child. And whatever favors or kindness’ you have been shown so far stops this week. You’re free to go if you desire. My time should not be wasted.”

  Her glare insulted me more than her words. How dare she be as angry as I was about the situation! Rising from my chair, I made my way to the door. I was bawling in the time it took to get to the hallway. My head was spinning, but I just stood there- unsure which direction to choose. The library would serve as a place to lick my wounds for the moment. Bruce was coming out of a doorway, and we practically ran in to each other.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized. Not in the mood to linger, I continued my path to the library.

  “Muriel,” he called after me.

  Once in the library, I melted to the floor between two book shelves. Bruce appeared in the doorway, calling my name, when he was surprised by a voice behind him.

  “My mom’s in the green house with Ms. Bridget,” Deidra reminded him.

  “That’s right!” he replied. “We better go fix the pantry door in the kitchen next. That’s on our list.”

  The two of them chatted as their voices disappeared. After a time, there were no more tears. Right before getting up, a vision came to me of Bridget. She was in the green room. This must have been in real time, as she was wearing the same outfit as today, carrying her little basket. She had been crying too. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the tears. Tissues were piled on the table. The sight of her softened me slightly, but not enough to go back.

  The emotional toll of this morning left me no choice but to take a nap. So, I traveled to my room and flopped on my bed. Sleep came quickly, but was not without visions. Most of them were of Bruce and would remain private. However, there was one that stayed with me. Bridget was putting flowers on my Grammy’s grave. When she rose, and turned around, she had a conversation with my mother- a conversation that could not be heard, but was very lengthy.

  A voice was interrupting all my visions. “Mom,” the voice said. “Mom!” Deidra was on my bed, smiling over me. “How was your training today?” she asked.

  “It was short,” I answered, not revealing more than that. After being here for a few weeks, it was no longer a surprise upon waking. The castle was our new normal. I stretched, yawned and rubbed my eyes, feeling rested. Brushing my teeth was in order after any amount of sleep.

  “You missed lunch,” Deidra informed, as I walked to the bathroom, “but there is always a cheese plate made up if you want one.”

  “How long was I asleep?” I wondered. “What time is it?”

  “It’s 4 p.m.,” Deidra shared. “And how would I know how long you slept? I was helping Bruce, not tucking you in for your nap.”

  There was toothpaste in my mouth, so I didn’t address her sass. Besides, thoughts of Bruce distracted me from just about anything. If possible, his absence was just as intoxicating as him being in the castle.

  Once out of the bathroom, I said, “It will be nice to see Bruce for dinner.”

  Deidra looked at me strangely. “Bruce left again, Mom,” she announced. “He says that being around you is too much to deal with. He only came to fix some things.” She got an impish look on her face, and teased, “He really likes you. I’m telling Dad.” I picked up the pillow and hit her on the side with it. We flailed around, wrestling on the bed and laughing.

  “I was going to keep something from you,” I shared, “but so much was kept from me as a child, that I can’t do it. Your dad wants a divorce.”

  “I know,” Deidra said. “You guys are meeting in a couple of weeks. It was all in a vision.”

  “How long have you known?” I probed.

  “For a while,” she replied, shrugging, “maybe a week.”

  As we lay on the bed, looking upwards, I reached over and grabbed Deidra’s hand. “You know,” I said, “if you ever want me to explain anything in your visions about my life or thoughts, I will.”

  “Maybe later,” she said. “Right now, we need to finish your training. Bridget said it didn’t go very well today.”

  “I suppose it didn’t,” I agreed.

  At dinner that night, Bridget sat acros
s the table from me. My hopes for this evening had been quite different, to include Bruce being in attendance. He would have been a welcome distraction. There was no conversation during the meal, which made Deidra antsy to excuse herself.

  “Well,” Deidra said, standing up from the table. “I’m going to go for a swim. This has been super fun, though.”

  Her comment made me smile. Deidra had never been very sarcastic, but lately she was perfecting the craft. It was foolish to think she would be void of sarcasm, having been raised by me. Looking across the table, I noticed that Bridget was also smiling.

  “You are in so much trouble with that one,” Bridget informed.

  “Yes, I know,” I concurred. “Do you have any children?”

  “No,” Bridget answered, shaking her head. “I’ve never married. Having children would not be a good idea.”

  “Why is that?” I wondered.

  Bridget twitched her neck to one side. “If I were to have children, my gift would have no sight past them. I wouldn’t be much good to anyone else,” she explained. She watched me, waiting for a look of understanding. “We are called to live for the good of all,” she finished.

  “If you are expecting me to be good for all,” I said, “you are making an error in judgement. I’m barely good for myself. Let’s see…divorce on the horizon, still mourning the death of my grandparents, not fully understanding who I am…”

  Bridget interrupted, “You never belonged with Rick, mourning your grandparents should not end, and you are Danu. You were born of fire, rooted in earth, and named for water.” She slammed her hand down on the table, leaning forward. “You are meant to complete the ring of this council,” she shouted.

  “For what purpose?” I shouted back.

  “For many purposes,” Bridget answered, calmly.

  “I had a vision about the vote of your council that pertained to me,” I said, eyeing Bridget intently. “You were one of the two votes against me, weren’t you?” I expected her to skirt the question.

  “Of course I was,” she readily admitted. “You have no business being here yet, and I told the council that I wouldn’t train you until you were ready.”