Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 10)

by Crystal Perkins

Reina

  It was a little weird to fly commercial after so long, but I’m glad I did it, even with the jet lag. Jane offered me one of the jets, but I didn’t want to make it so easy for them to know where I am. Not that I have any doubts that Ainsley’s team is tracking me. I’m just helping them earn their paychecks by not making it so easy for them. Job security and all.

  First class was nice with the little sleeping pods and the special amenities, but nothing can compare to a private bedroom, which is why I’m feeling that jet lag a little more than usual. I know I need to stay awake, so after checking in to the Royal Cardiff Hotel, I head out on foot to explore the city. I’ve always wanted to visit Wales, and now I can do it with no time constraints or job to get back to. I could choose not to work for the rest of my life, and still live in luxury. It’s time for me to start giving some of that money away. I feel safe enough now.

  As I walk past pubs and restaurants on my way to Cardiff Bay, I think about how scared I’ve been all these years. Scared of being kidnapped again, or of my parents somehow losing their Green Cards. I had to have money ready for those things, even though I logically knew I didn’t need to. If I was kidnapped again—which I recently was—the Society would rescue me. If something happened to my parents, the Society would help them, too. Nothing’s going to happen to them with their immigration status, though. My father is a well-respected surgeon in Chicago, and my mother is on all the right boards for the charities and museums. They’ve truly achieved the American Dream, and with the exception of Matt, I guess I have too.

  I held on to almost all of the money I earned because I was scared, and now that I’m away from the situation, and the Society, I realize how wrong I was. Driving a nice car, but not the one I craved, wearing gorgeous clothes, but only if Stella got me a good discount, donating money, but not as much as I could’ve, and letting Matt pay for everything in our apartment were things I needed to do because I was scared. I shouldn’t have been. He may have closed himself off from me for all of these years, but Matt would’ve never let me be out on the street, even if his grandmother wasn’t around to help. My friends wouldn’t have let that happen, either.

  It’s time for me to use a big chunk of my money for a cause that’s important to me. Something that the Foundation would help with if I’d asked, but I want to do on my own. I also need to spoil myself a little, and buy things I want and don’t just need. I have almost a billion dollars in various accounts, just sitting there gaining interest. It’s time for me to have some fun.

  My first stop is The Dr. Who Experience. My girls and I love the show, and I can’t wait to see all the props. I take more pictures than necessary, and have other tourists take some of me, too. I hesitate a few seconds, but then send them in a group text. My phone is blowing up almost instantly, and I promise to come back here with them. I buy us all t-shirts, tote bags, “Official Companion” patches, and pretty much everything else I see in the gift shop. I have to ask them to hold it all for me while I grab a bite to eat and do some more exploring in the area.

  I drop into the converted church next door. It’s where Roald Dahl was christened, and Helen once told me they had great tea and cakes. She’s been here several times, because she loves the city, and her enthusiasm is one of the reasons I chose Cardiff as my first stop. I order a slice of orange chocolate cake and a pot of tea, but when I go to pay, I’m told that it’s been taken care of already. I look around, but don’t see anyone I know. The cashier has a smile on his face, so I smile back and thank him. He wasn’t hitting on me, so I don’t think he bought it. Maybe they give one treat away a day or something. I’m not going to analyze it too hard. The cake is delicious and the view of the bay from my outside table is breathtaking.

  A text comes in from Helen as I’m finishing my snack. “I heard you’re in Cardiff. Have a great time, and make sure you visit the mall, the arcades, and the shops down Queen Street. You deserve to wear out your credit cards a little. Or a lot. Hugs.”

  I laugh, and then write back. “Thanks for always talking about this city. It’s beautiful here. I promise to give my cards a workout. Hugs back.”

  I wander through the shops on Mermaid Quay, buying handmade hair accessories for Stella, and other little gifts for my friends, as well as some freshly made Welsh Cakes. I also get myself some gorgeous perfume bottles. I won’t take anything from my apartment with Matt, no matter where I end up. I might as well start grabbing things when they catch my eye. Once I’ve retrieved my Dr. Who bags, I take a water taxi back to the town center, and a regular taxi to the hotel to drop everything off before heading back out to explore.

  Tomorrow, I can do most of my shopping, but today I just want to see the city. I walk through gorgeous parks filled with topiaries, and more tulips than I’ve ever seen in my life. They’re beautiful, and I’m just in awe that places like this exist, and are just the norm for residents. I could sit in one of the parks all day, just reading and people watching. I might extend my stay for a day to do just that.

  The National Museum is impressive. I go through the different exhibits, marveling at the art, and smiling at the dinosaurs. I pick up some Cardiff souvenirs in the gift shop, and when the woman hands me a denim tote bag with the word “cwtch” on it, while smiling, I smile back and take the free gift with purchase.

  Cardiff Castle is impressive. I walk up the stairs into the Castle Keep, and then come back down to find some Marines using the grounds for training exercises. Seeing a familiar face, I smile at him as our eyes meet. His go wide, and then he gives me a small nod. The Society has worked with the British government and military forces for years, and the Marines are no exception. I can’t approach him in case someone recognizes me and connects us, but it’s nice to see a friendly face.

  I walk into the gift shop, because I’ve vowed not to pass up any chance for shopping during this trip, and look everything over. I’m immediately drawn to the dragon items. I grab a t-shirt, another tote bag, and am reaching for a stuffed dragon when an employee approaches me.

  “We have a dragon for you.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “A dragon has already been purchased for you, Ma’am.”

  “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

  I pay for my other items, and take the offered dragon. All I can think of is my friend from outside, but he’s still out there. Maybe he saw me when I walked in. How does that explain the other gifts I’ve gotten today? I’m tempted to text Helen, but while we’re friends, this doesn’t seem like something she’d do. I would expect a man waiting in my room courtesy of her, but not a stuffed dragon.

  I shake it off as I walk back to my hotel for the night. I actually love my little gifts, and I’m not going to try and analyze why I keep being given them. That’s too much like work, and I came here to get away from all of that. I grab some takeout—or take away as they call it here—and settle in for the night with some British game shows. When it’s late enough, I finally let myself go to sleep, and for the first time in a long time, I actually sleep for the entire night.

  Chapter 12

  Reina,

  Do you remember the date we went on about a week after we met at the ball? The one for your birthday? I remember trying to romance you because I knew I should. I didn’t know what I was doing, and nearly burned the boathouse down. You said you loved that I tried, but I could tell something was bothering you. I had everything you could want. Candles, romantic music, and great desserts. I made love to you all night, in every way you asked me to. I don’t know what I was missing, but that night keeps bugging me. Even though I know I’ve now hurt you more than I ever could’ve by forgetting something on a romantic night, I still wish I knew. I have an overwhelming need to know what I forgot. Maybe one day, I’ll ask you. If you aren’t too angry, you might even answer honestly. I don’t know if a sorry is really good enough after all these years, especially since I’ve already admitted that I don’t know what I’m sorry for. I just want you to know that I am sorry for any and
every time I’ve let you down. I know I’ll keep doing it, but the regret is real.

  I love you, my beautiful queen,

  Matt

  * * *

  Twelve years ago…

  “Where are we going, Matt?” Reina asks me as I lead her down towards the water.

  “Skinny dipping,” I lie.

  She stops, and stares at me as I squeeze her hand harder. “I don’t want to do that. I mean, what if someone else sees us? Sees me?”

  “No one else is going to see you. I can promise you that,” I growl. Yeah, I’m growling. Just the thought of anyone else seeing my girl naked is enough to bring out the animal in me.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah. Because we’re not going skinny dipping. We’ll save that for when we have our own private pool or lake.”

  “That sounds much better,” she tells me, and I can hear the relief in her voice. “Do you really want that? I mean for us to have a place to ourselves?”

  “More than you know, Rei. If I could, I’d whisk you away somewhere for the next week, but I think you parents would freak, and my Gram would be disappointed.”

  “I’m eighteen now. My parents can’t stop me. But I know Jane is happy to have you here for another week.”

  “Happy birthday, again, by the way.”

  “It’s the happiest one I’ve ever had.”

  “I hope it’s going to get better,” I tell her as I open the door to the boathouse. I filled it with candles, and there’s her favorite song playing, “I Can Love You Like That.” I’ve got all kinds of desserts spread out inside one of the rowboats, and blankets and pillows spread out inside of the one next to it. There are also some presents I got for her. I already gave her a Tiffany bracelet at her party, but one present isn’t enough for her. All of the presents in the world aren’t enough for my beautiful queen.

  “You did this for me?”

  “Of course. I love you, Reina. I know it’s only been a week, but I do.”

  “I love you too, Matt,” she says, tears shining in her eyes.

  I kiss her because I can’t stand to see her crying even happy tears. It starts out slowly, but as usual, she ignites a spark in me almost immediately. I swear her strawberry lip balm makes me crazy. I drop her hand to pull her roughly to me, and as we stumble a little, I feel heat on my back. I break the kiss, and she screams.

  Shit. I knocked over a candle. I quickly grab a fire extinguisher and douse the flame. Just great, we’ve been in here less than five minutes, and I’m already screwing up. I’m confident with every other woman on the planet, but Reina is different. Obviously, since I would never plan a romantic night with anyone else. I’ve been living the hit it and quit it life for years now, but that’s not how it is with her. I have this overwhelming need to impress her, and I want more than just the awesome sex we have.

  She could be off with some rich preppy guy, being wined and dined at the country club. Yeah, I’m rich, but I’ve never been preppy, and now I’m a soldier. I still don’t know what she sees in me, but I thank God every night for bringing her to me.

  “Are you okay, Matt?” she asks, touching my arm.

  “Yeah, I’m just sorry I fucked this up already.”

  “You didn’t,” she assures me with a smile.

  “I almost set the place on fire.”

  “Only because you were into our kiss. Nothing wrong with that. Plus, the fire’s out now.”

  “Well, the actual fire’s out,” I tell her feeling relieved. “The fire I feel for you is always burning.”

  “That was so cheesy, but kind of hot and romantic, too,” she tells me with her eyes sparkling, but not from tears this time.

  “I’m all about the romance. Candles, music, chocolate. What more could a girl need, right?”

  Her eyes dim then. “Yeah, of course.”

  “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. Everything’s great.”

  Great? Not amazing, or perfect? What the hell did I miss? I don’t have time to ponder that too long since she’s now kissing me. I can’t think when she’s got her mouth on me, and honestly, I really don’t want to. I cup her cheeks this time as she pulls me with her to the canoe filled with blankets.

  I brace my hands on the sides as she lies her head down on the pillows I placed just below one of the seats. “What do you want, birthday girl?”

  “You.”

  “Well, that’s a given, but how do you want me?”

  Her eyes light up, but then she bites her bottom lip and looks away. “However you want is fine.”

  “I don’t think so,” I say, nudging her chin with mine so she’ll look at me again. “You want something. Tell me. I promise you that nothing you ask for will embarrass me.”

  She looks stricken for a moment, and I mentally kick myself for reminding her that I’m much more experienced. I did it to make her feel more comfortable, and not more insecure. Just when I’m about to tell her that, she speaks.

  “I want it slow. I want you to make love to me. With all of our clothes off.”

  I start to say that it’s no big deal, but then it hits me. Actually, they all hit me. The memories of the last seven days. And nights. Times where I took her fast and hard against walls, and in closets. Or against the side of the house. Hell, our first time was in a gazebo, and right now we’re in a boat house. I haven’t taken all of my clothes off since that first time, and I haven’t taken hers off either. There hasn’t even been a bed involved. I know she’s enjoyed what we’ve done, but I’m ashamed to realize that I’ve never shown her how special she is.

  “I’m so sorry, Rei. I should’ve taken you somewhere with a bed. And you shouldn’t have to ask me to worship your body. You deserve for me to do that every time we’re together.”

  “You make me feel worshipped. Believe me, I have no doubt that you love my body. I don’t need a bed, either. I just need a little sweetness. You’re so sweet to me with everything else, and while I love how wild you are when you take me, I want to savor the feel of you inside of me tonight.”

  Great. Just what every guy wants to hear—he’s finishing too fast. “I suck.”

  “You do,” she says and my heart plummets. “In fact, I usually see stars when you suck, and it’s amazing.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know, but you’re crazy if you think you’re not a good lover.”

  “You said I was too fast.”

  “I did not. Those words never came out of my mouth. Besides, I like it fast and hard with you. I just wanted something different tonight. That doesn’t mean that the other times weren’t good.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She rolls her eyes in response. “You had to hold me up yesterday, and I’ve almost passed out at least four times.”

  “Only four?”

  “You are a sex god, okay. Get over your male ego, and make love to me.”

  “I see you’re planning on being bossy tonight, too, huh? It’s your birthday, so I’ll let that happen.”

  “Neanderthal.”

  “Aw, how sweet of you to notice.”

  She growls this time, before pulling my mouth down on hers. It’s not slow or sweet, but the rest of what we do tonight will be. If she wants slow and sweet, then slow and sweet is exactly what she’ll be getting. I’d do anything and everything to keep Reina, and I plan on showing her that for the rest of my life.

  * * *

  Matt

  I was up way too late last night, but I had to make sure I ordered more things for Reina. With her being in Wales, that meant I needed to be up early in the morning, so I could catch the businesses when they first opened. Ainsley hasn’t reported that she’s still there, but she hasn’t picked up one of the gifts I have for her yet, and I know she wouldn’t miss going to the store where it’s waiting for her. After talking with everyone, I had to place another order, and take care of some more food for her. My last delivery today will let her know it’s me who’s be
en doing these little things for her, and then we’ll see what happens. I was worried she’d figure it out and freak out before I could do these last few things, and then I might have to stop. I might still have to stop after Wales, but it’ll be worth it to have given her what I have.

  Nothing has been big or fancy, and in fact, I worked hard to make most of it seem like it was just a gift from the places she was visiting. Even with the things from today, I didn’t choose the most expensive items. No, I’m buying her the things I would if I was there with her. Really there, and not just throwing money around. These are things most any tourist might come home with, and that’s the most important part of my plan. Bringing my wife home.

  “You ready for your first day of physical therapy, Matt?” Kendrick asks, walking in with a wheelchair while I’m still lost in my thoughts.

  “Huh? Oh yeah. I am.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Just a little tired. I was up late.”

  “You should’ve asked for a sleeping pill.”

  “No. I had some calls to make.”

  “Calls?” he asks.

  “I’m doing some things for Reina, and since she’s in Europe, I’m working on their time.”

  “Things?”

  “Yes, things, and that’s all I’m saying.”

  “Touchy, aren’t we? Tired Matt is even more grumpy than usual.”

  I laugh as I flip him off. “You need to let out the funny side more often, Kenny. It works.”

  “So you keep telling me. Your chariot awaits.”

  “See. Funny,” I say as I lower myself into the chair. I wish I had the strength to argue about riding in the chair, but I don’t. At least not yet.

  “I’ll remind you of that later, once you’ve finished your PT.”

  “Thank you,” I tell him, feeling serious all of a sudden. Reading my emails and reminiscing must be doing something to me, because I almost tear up. “I know I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you. If there’s anything I can ever do for you, you just name it. Anything.”

  “Anything?”

  “Yeah. Anything. I’ll even bring trash bags and duct tape if you kill someone.”