Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 10)

by Crystal Perkins

  “I’m a doctor, Matt. If I kill someone, I know exactly how to cut up the body, and get rid of any DNA. I don’t need your trash bags and duct tape. Thank you for the offer, though.”

  I burst out laughing. How could I not? “Damn, man. You fit in perfectly here, despite what you keep saying.”

  “Possibly,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice, too.

  Once I’m wheeled into the state of the art rehab facility, Waverly comes over to greet us. Kendrick brought her with him when he was hired. The two of them are apparently best friends, and grew up together. I know there’s a story there about how an African immigrant, and a voluptuous redhead could be such good friends without ever hitting the sheets, but so far none of us have been able to get it out of them. Now that I’ll be spending a portion of my days with her, I’ll give it the old college try, so to speak.

  “Hey boss, how are you feeling today?”

  “Not great, and I think once you’re done with me, I’ll be feeling even worse.”

  “I could lie and say I’d go easy on you if it would make you feel better,” she tells me, her grey eyes twinkling.

  “How is it that the two of you are best friends when he hides his sense of humor, and you’re all fun?”

  “She’s not all fun. Believe me. Or actually, you won’t need to take my word for it. She’s going to torture you today.”

  “You don’t have to look so pleased when you say that.”

  “Oh, I think I do. I’ll be back soon. Not as soon as you’ll like, but soon enough.”

  I watch him walk out the door, and then swallow hard before looking back to Waverly. She’s smirking, and I already know I’ll be hurting soon. It’ll be a good hurt, though, and I need her to work me hard if I’m going to get back into fighting shape.

  I can’t show any weakness in business meetings, and I won’t make my brother fight off the leeches all by himself for too long. The bastards who are jealous of us can smell fear, and while Miles won’t show any, he’s not used to manipulation, or douchebaggery at its finest. Then again, he lived with dear old dad for all those years without me, and while he came out damaged, he survived. I need to give him more credit.

  I also need to be strong for Reina. I can woo her with the gifts from here, but there’s going to come a point when I need to fight for her. She said we lost the epic battle, but I’m holding onto hope that she’s wrong. What went down with us was indeed a major battle, but we haven’t lost the war yet. I’m going to fight for us like I’ve never fought for anything else in my life. And I will not lose.

  * * *

  Reina

  Today is my shopping day. I made sure to have a full English breakfast from the pub across from the hotel, and now I’m walking to the oldest record store in the world. I don’t know what I’ll get since I don’t have a record player, but I want something. And I can always buy a player for my new place.

  I can’t help but stop into some of the shops I pass, and I even see some furniture I love. I only hesitate for a few seconds before buying the pieces. I’m having them shipped to the Corrigan apartments, because I know they’ll hold everything for me, even if I’m no longer a resident. It’s fun to just buy what I want, and I wish I’d let myself be free to do it before now. Living in fear really does suck.

  I walk into the record shop, and immediately want a t-shirt. They are so cool, and so is the girl DJ-ing on the left. I smile at her and start to navigate my way down one of the small aisles. I don’t get very far before one of the employees stops me.

  “Are you Reina?”

  “Yes,” I say, warily, instinctively reaching for a gun that isn’t there.

  “Thought so. We’ve got something for ya.”

  “Oh.”

  Really? My fairy god-something knew I’d come here? I didn’t even know, or did I? I’ve been thinking about getting a record player for a few months. I had a conversation about it with Kace when we were all together for dinner a couple of months ago. I didn’t think anyone else was listening, but maybe they were. I just have to figure out who.

  “Here you go,” the guy tells me, handing me a bag.

  Inside, I find a stack of smaller sized vinyls, along with a blue t-shirt. The records are Ed Sheeran, which you might think would make figuring this out easier, but it doesn’t. Everyone knows I love Ed, and I have seen him every time he’s come through Vegas, even though I haven’t met him. I totally could, with my Society connections—or with Kace’s help—but I’ve been satisfied with just enjoying the concerts. I see that the vinyls are some of his earlier songs, and I love them even more. I thank the guy at the store, and walk out again.

  The street I end up on is filled with trendy shops. I see things I like, but I know I’ll find these shops when I go to London, and maybe even Paris, so I don’t stop in. When I get to the mall, I make my way to John Lewis first. I’ve heard great things about this department store, and I want to at least window shop. I buy some chocolate, and a couple of purses that are not only gorgeous, but on sale. I see the stationery section, and I can’t resist looking. There is so much I want, but I remind myself that my trip has just started and I should not be buying everything I see, even if it is cool.

  I settle on a set of Ted Baker pens and a brightly colored pencil bag. When I take them to the register, the cashier throws something else in the bag. She doesn’t acknowledge it, so I think it must be a free gift. At least that’s what I pretend to think. I know something else is going on. When I walk out of the store, I sit down on a bench, and pull the little tin out. I have to cover my mouth as a sob threatens to escape. I know who’s been making all of these little things happen for me, because only one person would give me a tin of strawberry lip balm with the words “Queen of Awesomeness” printed on top. Matt.

  Strawberry lip balm was the only make-up I wore as a teen girl. It’s not even really make-up, but Matt always loved kissing it off my lips. I can’t believe he did this, and as I get up again, I know that there will be something waiting for me at my next stop. The girls and I were talking about the royal weddings one time, and Welsh gold came up. Clogau is the place for that, and I let it slip that I would love something from there. I don’t know what it will be, but there will be something. I have to stop myself from running there, because I really want to know what he got me. I should be angry that he’s not leaving me alone, but I’ll think about that later.

  I’ve barely stepped through the door when a man in a suit approaches me. Of course he does. In the other places, I would be virtually unknown, but in a jewelry store, the name “Corrigan” will hold some weight.

  “You have something for me,” I say, beating him to the punch.

  “Yes,” he tells me, surprised that I know.

  “I’ve been getting little presents from all over the city,” I explain.

  “Of course. He said that.”

  “He?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  He visibly pales, and I know he’s freaking out because he wasn’t supposed to tell me anything. “Oh, um, did I say ‘he’?”

  “You did, but don’t worry. I won’t tell. Show me whatcha got,” I tell him with a wink.

  He leads me to a display case and walks to the other side, grabbing a white and gold gift bag and placing it on the counter. I pull out a black box, and chew on my bottom lip as I open it

  Inside of that box is a silver heart pendant with a rose gold—I’m guessing Welsh gold—bar between it and a silver chain. There’s a word on it, “cariad,” and even though I didn’t study Welsh, I feel like it means something I should know.

  “What does this word mean?”

  “It can mean love or sweetheart, darling” he tells me with a smile.

  My breath catches for a moment, but I force myself to ask the other question I have. I could Google it, but I’ve got a real live Welshman in front of me, so why bother with the internet?

  “What does c-w-t-c-h mean?”

  “Ah, that means hug or cuddle.�
��

  “Thank you,” I say, trying to hold back the tears.

  He looks concerned, so I smile, grab my box and bag, and make a quick exit. Tears fall down my face as I walk the short blocks back to my hotel. I wipe my face before walking through the lobby, and even manage another smile for the woman at the desk. What I find in my room brings those tears back, along with more.

  There is a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my dresser. Tulips, peonies, roses, and other gorgeous flowers in shades of blue. My hand shakes as I pull the card out, and then I’m openly sobbing as I read it:

  Almost twelve years ago, a stupid boy forgot the flowers. This stupid man will never forget them again. I love you, My Beautiful Queen.

  Chapter 13

  Reina,

  Sleeping in the guest room sucks. I know I deserve it, but I have never known torture like what I felt last night. Knowing you’re only a few walls away, and I can’t be with you…it hurts so bad that I can feel my heart cracking. I’m so sorry for what I said to Nate. I know I use the excuse of protecting myself over and over again, but it’s true. You are more dangerous to me than any insurgent, because if you break through the crumbling walls I’m trying to hold onto, I’ll tell you everything. I won’t have a choice. I’m so scared that my defenses will fall to you, but a small part of me is also hopeful that it will happen. Because only then will I be able to admit how much I love you. Even if you hate me, and walk away, I can finally be honest to both of us. I. Love. You.

  Your soldier, even when I’m not fighting,

  Matt

  * * *

  Seven months ago…

  “How dare you!” Reina screams at me once we’re inside our apartment.

  She’s been seething all day, and honestly, I don’t blame her. I can’t let her know that, though. “Oh come on, Princess. You like the fucking as much as I do.”

  “You are such a pig.”

  “And you knew what this was going to be when you agreed to marry me.”

  “I didn’t expect you to go around telling people you’re just glad to be getting ‘lucky.’”

  “I told Nate. He’s my best friend.”

  “I thought he was my friend, too, but now I don’t think I can even look at him. It’s bad enough that I have to see the pity in Isa, Ellie, and Jade’s eyes.”

  “He knows it has nothing to do with you. They all know that.”

  “Nothing to do with me? If you’d married one of the other girls, you wouldn’t tell your friends you just like the regular sex.”

  “That’s because I wouldn’t be having sex with them. I’d be out grabbing something on the side while they did the same.”

  “Is that what you want?” she asks now, her voice sounding small.

  I should lie to her, but I’ve hurt her enough, and I can’t hurt her more. Not over this. “No. I want you, Rei. Only you.”

  “But just in your bed.”

  “Well, the couch, floor, shower, breakfast bar, and pool are good, too. Although we’ve never been in our pool like that. Yet.”

  “Never. We won’t ever be like that in the pool.”

  “Why? I promise we’d have fun. Skinny dipping and shit.”

  She looks like she might cry now, and I don’t know what else to do. Being honest didn’t work. Being funny didn’t work. I don’t think trying to seduce her will work right now, either.

  “Please just go move your things to the guest room.”

  “You’re not serious.”

  “As a heart attack, Matt.”

  “Come on. Just because I said I love having sex with you? You should be happy about that.”

  “Forgive me if I don’t fall at your feet, and thank you for the orgasms.”

  “I didn’t say that. Quit twisting everything.”

  “How exactly did I twist you saying I should be happy that you love fucking my body?”

  Shit. I did say that. “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I.”

  I hear the unspoken words she chose to keep to herself. If I was a better man, I’d address that. But I’m not, and I can’t pretend to be, even for her. “I’m still sleeping in the guest room, aren’t I?”

  “Yes,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “Is there a time limit on this little punishment of yours?”

  “No. Since my punishment is so ‘little’ to you, though, it shouldn’t matter, should it?”

  Fuck. I need to just keep my mouth shut, grab some stuff from my closet, and settle in like an obedient little husband. I’ve been accused by many a man—and quite a few women—of not giving an inch, of being a bossy son of a bitch. I usually have to be in control, both in and out of bed. Not with Reina, though. Now that I have this year with her, I’m determined to bend to her will as much as I need her to bend to mine. I want us to truly share the power, even if it’s just for a year.

  But damn, I’m going to miss being in bed with Reina tonight. Maybe cooking her dinner will help. Probably not, but I’m willing to try anything to get back into our bedroom. Seriously. Any fucking thing. So yeah, dinner is going to be served along with a big slice of humble pie for dessert. Let’s hope I can swallow it all down without choking on it.

  * * *

  Matt

  Pain is not an adequate word for what I’m feeling. Even though I was lying down for most of the physical therapy session, Waverly was stretching my legs and arms in ways that she had to have designed in order to torture me. Last month, I would’ve laughed at the thought of some stretches making me cry out in pain, but now I realize just how bad off I am, and how hard I’ll need to work in order to get back to where I was. I’m not afraid of hard work, but I’ll admit—to myself at least—that I am a little scared of Waverly.

  “The tub is ready for you, Matt,” she says with a smirk, as she wheels me over. I can see the bubbles of the large Jacuzzi from where I’m sitting and it looks like Heaven. “Need some help?”

  “You know I do.”

  “Yeah, but I wanted to see the great Matthew Corrigan begging.”

  “Sorry to disappoint you, but I only beg for my wife.”

  “I like Reina,” she says, helping me into the tub.

  “Me too.”

  I climb in with my shorts still on, and then reach down to slide them off once my body is covered. I’m not embarrassed to be seen naked, but I don’t want to be disrespectful to the people who are helping me heal. Even if I do think that some of the nurses might like a peek. The old Matt would’ve dropped trou just for fun, but the new and improved version I’m going for realizes that my behavior has also been disrespectful to Reina, and I’ll do anything to stop that from happening again. Even if we are apart.

  My phone rings with an unknown number from where I left it on my wheelchair. I can’t reach it without standing, and Waverly takes pity on me. “Matthew Corrigan’s phone,” she says, answering it with a smile. She even puts it on speaker phone so I can hear who it is before making my presence known. I’m starting to like her again.

  “Who is this please?” Reina asks, her voice sounding a little shaky.

  “His mistress of torture,” Waverly answers before I can stop her. She’s smiling because she doesn’t realize what she’s done, but then she goes white as she sees my stricken expression. “Reina?”

  “You know my name? How nice,” she says, sounding like it’s anything but.

  “It’s me, Waverly. The physical therapist.”

  “Waverly? Oh my God, did you really torture him today?” she asks, sounding more relaxed, and even amused.

  “Oh yeah. He’s in pain. I wanted him to beg, but he says that he only does that for you.”

  “Rarely, but it does happen.”

  “Can I talk to my wife now, or are you going to keep hogging my phone?” I ask, amused myself, but also craving the thought of Reina’s voice in my ear.

  “Such a baby. I hope you’re having fun, Reina.”

  “I am, thanks. And thanks for taking care of him.
”

  I grab my phone from Waverly’s hand, and turn off the speaker. Once I have it pressed against my ear, I close my eyes and speak. “Hi.”

  “Hello.”

  “How are you doing?”

  “Very well thanks to this secret admirer I seem to have taken on.”

  “Secret admirer, huh?”

  “Yes. Well actually no. He revealed himself to me today.”

  “Oh yeah?” I ask, watching as Waverly waves goodbye, motioning for me to call for someone when I’m ready to get out. I nod.

  “Mm-hm.”

  “Is that a good thing? Were you happy to know who it was?”

  “So happy. I only wish he was here with me so I could thank him properly.”

  “What would you do to thank him?”

  “Are we really doing this?”

  “Doing what?” I ask, praying that she says what I want to hear right now.

  “Phone sex. I mean, if you want to.”

  “I do,” I say reaching down to take my rock hard cock in hand. “Do you?”

  “Yes.”

  “What are you wearing?”

  “Nothing special.”

  “Everything that covers your beautiful body is special. Details, please.”

  “A black sweater, black and white skirt, black tights, and black ankle boots.”

  “What kind of phone are you using?”

  “An android.”

  “I want to see you. I want to watch.”

  “Skype?”

  I look around, knowing I’m alone, but having to make absolutely sure that no one will see what’s mine. “Yeah. God yeah.”

  She hangs up, and so do I. Seconds later, I accept her Skype call, and see her. “You’re in the Jacuzzi?”

  “I am. You look beautiful, Rei, but I want to see you take your clothes off for me.”

  “Where is your other hand,” she asks, as she sets the phone down and pulls her sweater off.

  “You know where it is.”

  “Already? I don’t even have my skirt off yet.”

  “Don’t worry, it’s going to take more than once to get this edge off.”

  I watch as she unzips her skirt and lets it fall to the floor, and then pushes her tights down to the top of her boots. She’s got on a sexy lace bra that barely covers her glorious tits, and a tiny matching scrap of lace over her pussy. I’m stroking myself hard, and my mouth is watering.