Second Time Around

by Darrin Lowery

  He kissed Karen but he thought of Korie. As the two embraced during the most intimate of sessions, “Walk Away” by Christina Aguilera began to play. The lyrics burned in his head as he made love to Karen. He always thought that he would be the one thing that Korie would never walk away from. The fact of the matter was, she moved on.

  His pride was wounded.

  His arrogance was tempered.

  His heart was broken.

  His arrogance would be his undoing. When he left her all those years ago, in the back of his mind, he knew he would be with her again. He knew in his heart that she could never completely walk away from him; or so he thought. He figured that day that he left that at any time, he could come back, as long as he came back successful.

  That’s what he thought.

  Apparently, Korie didn’t get the memo.

  He was passionate with Karen. Passionate. Primitive. Carnal.

  He and Karen went at it like Ali vs. Frazier, Kobe vs. Shaq or Obama vs. Hillary.

  Like Hillary, Karen lost. Her breath was taken away. Her body glistened with sweat. Initially, she lay in bed with him with a smile on her face. Then that smile changed into a frown.

  “So, who is she?”

  Darren had a look on confusion on his face. Confusion as well as a look of riddled guilt.

  “She, who? What?” He tried to feign ignorance.

  “I’m not stupid, Darren. Your body is here, but your mind is somewhere else.”

  “What? No. No, you’re mistaken.”

  “We never went at it like that before. You’re . . . different. Today you went at it like never before.”

  “Maybe that’s the effect you have on me.”

  “Maybe. Or maybe there is someone else on your mind.”

  “You’re mistaken.”

  “Okay. I’ll take your word on that—for now.”

  Damned women’s intuition. It’s scary how accurate that shit is, he thought.

  “So are you telling me I need to hold back with you from now on?” Darren tried to throw Karen off.

  “Hold back?”

  “Yeah. How do you know that I haven’t been holding back my feelings for you all this time and tonight I just decided to let go?”

  “Is that the case?”

  “It is.”

  Darren held Karen in his arms and soon after she fell asleep.

  He lied. Like any other man, he lied.

  She was on his mind.

  As Karen lay in his arms, he stared at the ceiling and a million thoughts ran through his head. He thought back to how they met. He thought of their first kiss. He also thought about their first date and the first time that they made love. He thought about how nervous they were with one another. He also thought about how quickly they became familiar and comfortable with one another.

  He thought about the days when they were poor; the days that they struggled. He thought about the times that they lay in each other’s arms and talked about their dreams. He thought about their courtship; back when he had no car; back when they were both on the bus. He thought about the days that they went to Dairy Queen because he didn’t have money for much else. He thought about days that they stayed home and watched videos because they couldn’t afford to go to the movies. There was a time that they struggled, but everything was okay as long as they were together.

  It was poetic; the way that things used to be. All these years later, he finally understood what it was that she meant. He finally got what it was that she had been trying to tell him. Struggling, in fact, was romantic. They had a few hard times, but all that mattered to Korie back then was that they endured them together.

  Darren got it.

  The thing is, he got it too late.

  Five years too late.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Bastard.

  Why did he have to look so good? I mean, really, why did he have to look so damned good?

  This is what Korie thought to herself as she rode back to Vaughn’s place in a chauffeured Phantom Rolls-Royce. She and Vaughn watched highlights of the game on TV in the car as they were driven.

  Vaughn poured himself a drink of bourbon from the car’s minibar and Korie had a diet soda. She and Vaughn enjoyed the first half of the game. By the time the second half began, all Korie could think about was him. Her head was on the defense. Her head said things to Darren that her heart didn’t want her to, but now as she rode home with Vaughn, all she could think about was him.

  She took a few sips of soda and leaned on Vaughn’s shoulder as if she were going to sleep. He enjoyed her embrace and smiled at her. He enjoyed their urban outings. He enjoyed it when they went among average people, and did average things like attend sporting events, go to the movies, or even roller-skating.

  Both Korie and Vaughn relaxed in the car in each other’s arms. Vaughn thought to that he was lucky to have her. Korie thought that she was lucky to be with a man like Vaughn. Still, her thoughts were of him. She tried her best not to compare the two men. She tried her best not to think of Darren and cherish the times that she shared with Vaughn. Still, she couldn’t help wondering what could have been. She couldn’t stop thinking about where they might be now, had they stayed together. She asked herself if she would still be as successful as she is now. Would he? Would they have children by now and be struggling, or would they still have made it to where they were now?

  She certainly would never have seen Tokyo had she stayed with Darren. Chances are she might never have pursued her dreams had she not been laid off. Chances were if she would have been laid off, Darren would have picked up the majority of the bills, and she might have just ended up being a housewife or a stay-at-home-mom had they stayed together. She thought about what if. She also thought that he hadn’t changed much.

  He still wore Aqua Di Gio by Armani. He still wore his head in a bald fade. He still had an amazing smile, and he was everything that she remembered—tall, dark, and handsome.

  He was also arrogant. He was also presumptuous. He looked good. But his attitude seemed ugly. The years had not humbled him much. In fact, he might have become the man that she was worried he would become when they were struggling.

  I bet he’s not half as busy as I am.

  That’s what he said. That’s what he let walk out of his mouth.

  Korie thought about it. He might have been right. Vaughn was a remarkable man. Had she been dating anyone else, chances are they would not have been half as busy as Darren was.

  If she were dating any other man.

  But she wasn’t.

  She was dating DeVaughn Harris. She dated him because she chose to; because he was interested in her, and because of the woman that she was. Korie wondered why Darren seemed to expect so little of her. Then she thought back to the woman who she was five years ago.

  The woman who she was five years ago would not have landed DeVaughn Harris.

  The woman she was five years ago could barely hold on to Darren Howard.

  Darren pushed her in the right direction. He saw the potential that she had, even when she didn’t see it for herself. In part, she was who she was today because of him. He was the one who suggested that she open her own business. He was the one who suggested that she go back to school. He was the one who created her business plan on her laptop years before she seriously considered opening her own business.

  He had two business plans on her laptop. One was for sewing and the other was for interior decorating. She used every idea and every spreadsheet. Korie thought that everything that he created was well researched and done exactly the way she would have done things. He did a good job. He created the business plans for her as he would have done for himself; with great care and detail. He really wanted to see her succeed.

  All she ever wanted was him, struggle or not.

  All he ever wanted was for her to be patient. In truth, he wanted the very best for her, whether he supplied it, or she supplied it for herself, he wanted nothing but the best for her.


  He was right.

  She was also right.

  And they both were wrong.

  She lay in Vaughn’s arms and wondered if she had been too hard on him. She wondered if she should have taken his phone calls or at least listened to him. She wanted to be fair. She wanted to especially be fair with Vaughn and see where their relationship might be going. She weighed her options. She thought briefly about both men and decided in her head that she was done with Darren. She thought about how he left, without warning and without discussion.

  She thought about the check that he left.

  A check that she never cashed.

  She didn’t need his damned handout.

  She didn’t need anything from him.

  She never asked for anything . . . but his love.

  No. She would stay with Vaughn. She decided that she would move forward. It made no sense to move backward. She had a man. She had a man who was loving, caring, and attentive.

  She had a man who had the ability to give her the world. A man who wanted to give her the world; a man who would never put her off for a five-year-plan, even if that plan had the best-laid intentions.

  Darren was not that man.

  That’s what her head said.

  Her heart; her heart was not so sure.

  “So, what do we do next?” she asked Vaughn.

  “Well, I need to put in more hours at the office. I have a number of loose ends to tie up this week and this weekend”—he gave her a kiss—“you and I are going to the black creativity ball.”

  “A formal outing?”

  “A formal outing.”

  “Good. I’d like to take my hair down and dress up. It’ll be a great change of pace.”

  “What? You didn’t like the Bulls game? It was your idea.”

  “I loved the game. I love hanging out and doing things like this. I love the fact that you’re open to trying things in my world. Now, I think I’m ready to enjoy some of the things in your world, on two conditions.”

  “And those conditions are?”

  “One, no work at the event. And two, you dance at least three times with me.”

  Vaughn laughed. “Okay. Okay, I can definitely keep my end with the dancing part, but I’ll have to do some business while I’m there. It won’t be much more than shaking a few hands and letting a few people know that I have my eye on their companies, but after that, I’m yours. So I tell you what, let me handle my business first, and after that, I’m yours for the night to do whatever you want.”

  “Whatever I want?”

  “Girl, you know I could never deny you anything.”

  “Then what I want is in a few weeks, we go out for a three-day weekend, my treat.”

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “Hawaii.”

  “Hawaii? Why Hawaii?”

  “Because I’ve never been and after I finish decorating the district attorney’s house next week, I should have enough money to take us both.”

  “Girl, you know money is no object.”

  “It is when I’m spending it.”

  They both laughed.

  Korie lay back in his arms as they headed back to Vaughn’s place.

  After arriving at Vaughn’s place, he went to his den to get some work done and Korie went to the master bedroom and changed into her silk pj’s. Since dating Vaughn she had a full closet full of clothes at his place.

  The closet in Vaughn’s master bedroom was about as big as Korie’s apartment. Their relationship moved at a very fast pace. Korie spent at least three days a week at Vaughn’s home. Sometimes he wasn’t home. Sometimes he was working, but there were days that he got off and she would be waiting for him. For Vaughn it was always a pleasant surprise. Very often these days he asked her to move in with him. Korie declined. She told him it was too soon and she also wanted to maintain her independence. Vaughn understood.

  Korie wondered what it would be like to be married to Vaughn, to manage his grand home, to decorate his home and to be a woman of means like the Real Housewives of Atlanta, only not so dramatic and narcissistic.

  She wondered what it would be like to live with him. She hadn’t lived with a man since Darren. She didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. Before moving in or even taking their relationship to the next level, Korie had to know exactly where the relationship with Vaughn was going.

  She decided the next time he was available, she wanted to redefine their relationship, to talk, to find out what exactly it is that they were doing and what exactly were Vaughn’s intentions.

  Their relationship was far from strictly one of a sexual nature. In truth, they only had sex maybe once or twice a week. Their relationship was more about their friendship; their bond. When other needs had to be satisfied, Vaughn broke out the Viagra and met Korie’s physical needs. She wished they had sex more. Vaughn was a patient and attentive lover, but he was also in his late forties.

  Because he was in such great shape, Korie was often surprised that he needed Viagra. Vaughn blamed his inability to perform at times on his job and his levels of stress. The truth was sometimes he was bored with Korie sexually. Considering all the models and escorts that he dated, when it came to beauty, the bar had been raised too high. It was like a man who masturbated frequently to porn, and couldn’t perform with his wife.

  He often needed Viagra with the escorts as well. Being with exotic women had become all too boring to Vaughn. When he was seeing the escorts sometimes it was to get his physical needs met. Sometimes it was strictly for image purposes in high-society magazines. Other times it was out of routine.

  Dating Korie was a novelty to him because she was real and because she had flaws. He liked her personality, her natural breasts, and the fact that she was real. His past sometimes crept into his relationship with Korie, however. One time specifically was when he offered to pay for implants for her. This sparked their first argument because Korie thought Vaughn was trying to change her. He was. But his excuse was it was only a gift and meant as a kind gesture. At the time he made the offer, he was in fact thinking about an escort that he once saw who reminded him of Korie.

  That was the only time that he offered to augment her body.

  It was not the last time, however, that he thought about it.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Korie hadn’t heard from Jayna in a while and didn’t want to be like some women who get a man and don’t keep in touch with their girlfriends. Korie had been sending Jayna text messages and e-mails, but they hadn’t seen each other in close to a month. Since she had free time on her hands, Korie decided to call her friend.

  “Hello?” a groggy voice said.

  “Jayna, it’s me.”

  “Hey girl.” She sounded flat, exhausted, depressed.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine. How are things with you?”

  “Things are great. Vaughn keeps asking me to move in with him, but I’m not sure yet. Jay, I am so happy that you convinced me to go out with him.”

  “That’s great, sis. How was Tokyo?”

  Korie went on to tell Jayna how Tokyo was, and all of the wonderful places that she and Vaughn went. She talked about the sights, the food, and the madness that happened in the bathroom on the final day. She told Jayna how Vaughn wanted them to move in together and how they were going to the black creativity ball that weekend.

  “That’s great, Korie.”

  Jayna still sounded a bit flat, but she was engaged in the conversation.

  “Jayna, is everything okay? How are things with you and Brandon?”

  There was silence on the other end of the phone.

  “Jayna?” Korie called out.

  “We broke up.” Jayna sounded depressed and broken.

  “When? Why?”

  “While you were in Tokyo. We broke up because I’m a ho.”

  “What? I don’t understand.”

  Jayna recounted how everything went down between her and Brandon. She went on to tell Korie
how her past had finally caught up with her. Jayna was broken. She was hurt beyond words. Korie asked Jayna if she was okay and Jayna said that she wasn’t but she would be.

  Jayna started going back to church, she got back in therapy, and she continued on her grind at work. It was hard getting through the days. She took each day one at a time. It was especially hard to get through her days without Korie’s support. But like a true friend, Jayna didn’t want to burden Korie with her problems. Especially considering how happy Korie was.

  It had been a long time since Korie had been so happy. Jayna finally figured out that she needed to work on herself. She needed to change the woman she was on the inside if she were to ever find love again. She loved Brandon. She missed Brandon. She wanted him back in her life. He hadn’t called and she respected his wishes and didn’t call him back after their last night together. Jayna was miserable without him. She prayed each night to God that one day Brandon would return to her.

  Korie was mad that Brandon would leave Jayna over her past. What was in her past, was her past and none of his business, she thought. When she got off the phone it was almost an hour later. She then went down to the den to speak with Vaughn, who was working at his desktop computer. She walked in upset, although her issue was not with him.

  “Did you know that Brandon broke up with Jayna?”

  Vaughn didn’t even look up from his computer. He adjusted his glasses and continued typing.

  “Yes, I did.” His response was flat, matter-of-factly.

  “Do you know why?”

  He continued typing. “Yes. I believe it had something to do with her being promiscuous.”

  “And you think he was right?”

  Korie placed her hand on her hip. She was upset, but again, Vaughn was not the source of her ire. Brandon was.

  “It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s none of my business.”

  “But you know what happened.”

  “Of course I do. Brandon is like a son to me.”

  “Were you going to tell me?”