The Fledgling

by Jeanie P Johnson

  Sometimes, he made me do the tests with him, no matter where we were, when he knew there was no time to come to my room. In the barn, when I was milking the cow, he would pull me away, insisting on a test. Other times, he caught me in the hen house, and since there was so little room there, he called for me to do the French kissing test on him.

  I began thinking about the servant he said his father kept to use like that, and wondered if that was what I had become? Only I knew, I couldn’t refuse, because it was part of the promise, and had to be done, because of the law, about those things. But the main reason I always complied, was because he warned me that if I didn’t, I would have to go out on the streets and work, doing the same things to strangers.

  My delight in doing those things with him, was growing as well, because to me, it meant he loved being with me every moment, and there were times he could make me cry out in pleasure when I least expected it, but most of the time he would just show up for a test, from me. Doing the tests were important, he kept reminding me, and he needed them as often as I could give them. My tests, were only given if he needed to discover something new about me he hadn’t tired, in order to bring on a sigh.

  As I hung the clothes on the line, with the sheets flapping on either side of me, hiding me from view, Sheldon would sneak up, topple me to the ground, and laughingly demand a test. Every night was spent in my room together, and I was surprised he never seemed to tire of the tests. It was starting to take its toll on me, because his father kept me doing chores from dawn until dusk, and with Sheldon demanding tests even during my chores, and after my chores, I was starting to rebel.

  When I tried to refuse him, he merely frowned. “I told you it was important for me to have tests as many times as I ask for it,” he reminded me.

  I never liked the French kissing test I had to do on him, but he seemed to like those the best, and demanded them most of the time. “Remember, you have to keep giving me the tests in order to stay promised and you can’t do it with anyone else,” he pointed out with logic I didn’t quite understand.

  At first I didn’t know what the missionary position was, until he told me. He began to explain all the other ways to do the baby making test, but only the missionary position, was sanctioned by God, and so was the only way to bring on a baby, he explained. I think Sheldon delighted in explaining to me in detail, what to look forward to, when it came time to do the fit test for real, and then the baby making test.

  My birthday had come and gone, with little notice, and soon a month had passed. We had perfected all tests, but Sheldon kept doing them over and over again. However, the testes started to wane a little, and instead of doing them several times a day we sometimes only did them once a day, or once a night. It gave me relief since, most of the time, he never gave me many tests, because he claimed a man needed them more than a woman did. He never explained to me why, though. The only thing he seemed interested in me learning about with the tests was how to make him sigh better than the time before.

  Then, Tamara Bronson came to visit. She brought her older brother, Vance, with her. She was a year older than I was, and Vance was two years older than Sheldon.

  I eyed Tamara, with her honey brown hair, curled in ringlets about her neck. She wore a fashionable blue bonnet, that matched her dress, and eyes, and Sheldon was dressed in his finest clothes. Vance was as handsome as his sister was pretty, but the look he gave me, was only of idle curiosity. After all, I was a mere servant, as far as he could tell.

  Sheldon could not pay attention to me, when Tamara was in residence, and he did not come to my room to give me the daily tests. While this relieved me, it also troubled me, because before he insisted it was required to take them in order to hold the promise. I caught him in the hall, gong to his own room and confronted him about it.

  “It would not go good for me, if my father discovered me going to the tower, when Tamera was here,” he explained “He doesn’t care if I use a servant to occupy my time, as long as my intended is not around. I told you, we could not let anyone know we are promised, and if I come see you when my betrothed wife is here, my father would send you to the streets. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

  “But what about the promise? It will be broken, if you don’t come to me.” I pointed out the rule he had been basing everything on.

  “I told you the tests were only necessary when the man wished to have them done. It won’t break the promise, if I do not wish it, and if it did, we will have to make it up, after Tamera leaves, and start the promise all over again,” he tried to explain.

  I could see his reasoning, but I did not like it. “Does this mean you don’t wish it?” I asked, starting to feel hurt.

  “No. It means I can’t have them while Tamara is here.”

  “Then I will come to you at night,” I offered.

  “No. You might get caught,” he warned.

  I shrugged. I was willing to take the chance, so I decided I would go to his room anyway. It worried me to think after all the tests he had subjected me to, that the promise might end up getting broken, and we may have to start all over again, possibly having to do new tests I had never heard of yet.

  That evening, as soon as dinner was over with, and my kitchen chores were done, I would hide in Sheldon’s room until he came to bed, I decided.

  While their company was there, Aldridge did not allow me to eat at the table. He did not tell anyone that I was his Goddaughter. I was to remain in the kitchen, with the cook, clean up the mess, and then return to my room, unless someone needed me for some reason.

  Tamara had brought her own maid, and Vance had brought his valet. It didn’t seem to bother Tamara, or her brother, that Sheldon, did not have an inheritance. But when I asked Sheldon about it, he told me that his family, and the Bronson family had always been friends, and that is why they approved of the betrothal. Tamara had plenty of money to run Heather Ridge House, once they got married, and she said, once, she was looking forward to renovating it, when the time came.

  I tiptoed from the kitchen, and went to hide in Sheldon’s wardrobe, until he came to bed. It seemed a long time before I heard the door open, but then I heard someone giggling, and Sheldon was whispering. “Hurry and close the door. There is something I need to tell you.”

  I peeked through the crack of the partly open door of the wardrobe, and I could see Sheldon pulling Tamara into his room. He turned the lock in the door behind him. He is going to tell her, he can’t marry her,” I thought to myself, and I was anxious to hear how he planned to break it to her.

  “Sit on the bed,” Sheldon said. I watched her sit down. “My father told me I have to explain the rules of being promised. We have been betrothed since our birth, so there is no chance of us getting to marry anyone else. But it can’t be a final agreement until an official promise has been made between us. You are older now, so now you are old enough to make the promise. But the promises are strictly between the two of us, and that is why I have locked the door. It is a pact, and has to follow certain rules, or we can’t continue with the marriage.

  Tamara’s eye brows lifted. “What rules?” she asked.

  “When we become married, we will be expected to have children together. But if we do not like how each other looks the marriage could be annulled. If we discover before we get married what the other looks like, and accept it, then we won’t have to wait until our wedding night to find out if all the waiting was wasted.

  “If we like how each other looks, then we have to do certain things to find out if we both work right, and fit properly together. If you do not want to do this, I will consider the marriage off, and will tell my father, I cannot marry you after all.”

  I smiled. Sheldon was so smart to make it Tamara’s choice to refuse the tests, and so call off the wedding.

  “So what do we have to do?” Tamara asked quietly.

  “First you have to let me look at you. And if I like what I see, then I will let you look at me. After words, I wil
l show you what has to be done.”

  I felt a little confused, but I was certain that Tamara would back out of such a condition.

  “What do you mean, look at me,” Tamera asked.

  “You have to lift your skirts, and let me look at you for as long as I want until I decide if I like how you look. Then if I like how you look, I will show you how I look, and you can decide if you like me too.”

  “Are you sure your father told you to do it? I have never been told about it before,” Tamera questioned.

  “Because, like I told you, it is a secret pact that only the husband is supposed to know about, and then he tells the intended wife. That is why my father had to tell me, and I am telling you. Because it is secret, you can’t tell anyone about it. So are you willing to do it?”

  “I have always loved you, Sheldon. I know we will like what each other looks like, so go ahead and look,” she said, and lifted her skirt.

  I felt shocked. Sheldon would have to say he didn’t like the way she looked now, I decided.

  Sheldon came to the bed. “You will have to take your pantaloons off, because I can’t see you well enough,” he told her. I watched her stand and do as he asked. “Lay back on the bed,” he instructed, and lift your knees.”

  I was waiting for Sheldon to tell Tamara that she did not meet his approval, but instead, he moved closer to her, examining her the same way he had examined me. He took his time, and when he began to touch her there, my heart fell, as I heard her give a startled whimper. “You have to let me look as long as I want to,” he reminded her.

  My anger was starting to rise. Sheldon had been using me, and now, since it had worked so well on me, he was going to start using Tamara. I didn’t know whether to burst out of the wardrobe and scream at him, or sit there in silence, still hoping that after Sheldon examined her, he would turn her down. I decided to wait. Only he had told me he didn’t want to touch anyone else, after he had touched me. In fact, he said touching anyone else was against the rules! And now he seemed to be breaking them.

  “Sit up, for a moment,” he said, backing away. “You have to look at me now, and say what you think.”

  “What do you think about me?” she asked.

  “I don’t know yet. That is why you have to look at me, and if you like me, then I will look at you again, to make sure.”

  “Fine,” she stated, staring at him bravely. “After all we are going to get married. I know I will like how you look.” Sheldon removed his trousers and showed himself to her. “You look acceptable,” she murmured, taking a quick look. She didn’t seem shocked, or even alarmed, when she looked at him.

  “All right, then. Lay back again,” he directed.

  I watched as Sheldon started giving Tamara, the test to make sure she worked right. He explained to her that was why he was doing it, because if she didn’t work right, or they didn’t fit right together, he told her, they could not have children together, and he didn’t want to wait until his wedding night to discover that she didn’t work right.

  “How will you know, if I work right?” she asked.

  “It’s a test I have to give to see if you sigh. If you do sigh, then I have to see if we fit together well. If we do fit, then we have to find out if we work right together.”

  “That sounds like a lot of tests,” Tamara pouted.

  “I think you will like the first one,” Sheldon smiled.

  Tamara did not sigh, she cried out, instead. “My word, Sheldon, is that the test?”

  “Part of it,” he told her. “Do you want me to do it again, or go to the next test?”

  “I hadn’t been prepared for that,” Tamara murmured, “so maybe you should try it again.”

  Sheldon obliged her, and I could hear her giggle, and then whimper, until she cried out with pleasure again. “Now I have to find out if we fit and then work right together.” Sheldon told her. He pushed her up the bed, and kneeled before her.

  “What are you doing?” Tamara, shrieked.

  I was starting to feel the same alarm that Tamara was feeling. I could not believe that Sheldon was going to make her take the fit test.

  “Hush. Do you want me to find out if we can get married or not? You can’t make any noise the first time, or it will mean we don’t fit well together.”

  Tamara mumbled something. I was praying he would tell her they did not fit right together, when he was finished. But the thought dawned on me, that because I had refused to let him do that test with me completely, he was determined to do it with someone, and Tamara was the only one in a position, that he could convince to let him do it.

  Sheldon did not go slowly with her, like he had with me, because I am sure, if he had, she would have insisted he stop the same as I had. Instead, plunged forward with the first stroke. Tamara cried out in shock.

  “I told you not to make any noise,” he scolded. “If you do it again, I will have to stop, and we won’t be able to get married after all.”

  “But I thought this was something that had to wait until our wedding night?” Tamara questioned.

  “What I’m doing is only to see if I fit, so on our wedding night, we won’t have anything to worry about. I told you why I had to do it now,” Sheldon explained. “Do you want me to stop, and tell my father I can’t marry you, because we don’t fit right together?”

  “No…continue. You have already started.”

  “Since you cried out, it is going to be hard to decide if we fit right together.” he muttered.

  “I won’t cry out again,” she promised.

  “No matter what?” he asked.

  “No matter what,” she replied.

  Sheldon continued to test Tamara, changing positions several times, and now I was actually viewing the things he had only described to me before. No matter what he did, she did not cry out. I couldn’t see her face, so I didn’t know if she liked what Sheldon was doing or not. I was hoping she did not pass the test. Of course he would say she did not pass the test, because he was going to marry me. Only I had not been given the complete fit test, and maybe that was what would make the difference, I worried.

  Sheldon would stop and rest every once in a while, and Tamara would ask if the test was over yet, but he told her no. He told her that all the ways he had been trying the test, was to make sure he fit completely, but until he sighed, the test couldn’t stop. Then he went back to testing her again.

  When he finished testing her, he frowned. “I couldn’t tell if you sighed too,” he accused.

  “You told me not to cry out,” she insisted.

  “I can’t make a decision, then,” he murmured. “Come back to my room, after everyone is in bed, and I will give you another test then.” He handed Tamara her pantaloons, and she put them on.

  “I am sure I will pass,” she told him.

  “We will see.”

  She couldn’t pass, I told myself, and I was prepared to remain there until she had her second test. I wondered why he was even interested if she had sighed. It was his sigh, he always seemed to pay attention to the most when we did any tests. I believed it was just an excuse to have her come back for more tests.

  I must have fallen asleep, because I was woken by noises, and I was glad that Sheldon had left his lamp on, so I could see what they were doing. Neither of them was dressed, and Sheldon was kissing her body, only her breasts were larger than mine, and Sheldon took great interest in them, he pampered them, and she whimpered in reply. “You have the right size orbs,” he told her. I frowned, because I was not as developed as her, and he never said anything about my orbs, but since I wasn’t as old as her, Sheldon should take that into consideration, I tried to sooth myself.

  He gave her the first test again, like he had before, which was the French kiss test, and she cried out in pleasure several times, before he ended the test. “That is how you will have to cry out when we try the second test, if it feels the same way,” he told her.

  He began the second test, using even new positions he ha
d not used the last time, sometimes putting her on his lap, and other times, doing the test from behind. But he never did it missionary style. In the end he was the only one to cry out, and my heart took a leap. How was he going to say she passed the test, since she didn’t know anything about how the test really worked?

  When he finished, he gave back her nightgown and robe. “It was almost passable,” he told her. “But since you didn’t sigh, I will have to continue to test you, for as long as you are here. When you are ready to leave, I will tell you what I think, and if I can’t make up my mind, we will have to continue doing tests every time we are together, until I am sure.”

  “If I don’t pass, I cannot marry anyone else,” she complained. “I am no longer a virgin. No man will have me.”

  I sat motionless. I wondered if I was still a virgin. Even though I had not let Sheldon finish the fit test, he had still entered me. It must mean that I was no longer a virgin either. If Sheldon ended up marrying her, instead of me, I couldn’t marry anyone else either, I realized. And if he didn’t choose her, she would be destined to becoming a spinster, and it was Sheldon’s fault. Would she be expected to work the streets, I wondered? He had told me that if a man looked at or touched a woman, she would be compromised, and he would have to marry her. But if he touched two women, could he pick between them, depending on which one passed his tests the best? I didn’t know which of us I felt the worst about?

  I was feeling confused, because Sheldon had told me that once we made the promise, we could not break it or touch anyone else, and yet he had been putting her through all the tests, to see if he could marry her after all. He was breaking the rules he told me about. I wondered if the rules even meant anything to him, after all.

  I started to tremble. Maybe they weren’t even rules! He had stopped the tests with me, and touched someone else, which by his own explanation, would break the promise we had made. He was breaking the promise with me, so he could marry her! Was he being sincere with her, or just wanting to keep testing her, for his own pleasure? He seemed so obsessed with doing the tests with me, and now he wanted to do them with Tamara as well, because she allowed him to go beyond just touching and kissing. I don’t remember seeing Sheldon kiss Tamara though. I was becoming very confused.