I Take It Back
Page 21
The next morning, I woke up to the best kind of warmth heating up my bare skin. Cade’s chest was pressed tightly up against my back, our legs endlessly tangled in each other’s, and his arm was draped across my waist in a heavy, sleepy mass. His other arm was tucked underneath my head so that my cheek was pressed against it, and I could feel his warm breaths tickling the back of my neck.
I slowly blinked my eyes open, letting the morning haze clear my vision before I turned around to face him. His hand slid down to cover my backside, and I couldn’t stop the quickened pace my heart instantly started thumping at the intimate touch, whether he realized it or not. I let one of my fingers glide across the side of his face, starting at his temple and sliding down to his bottom lip. I simply took him in, drank in the sight of him next to me while he slept so peacefully. His long, thick lashes brushed his cheeks in his sleep, his longer dark hair messily resting across his forehead, and the slow, steady movements of his chest rising and falling with each breath had me feeling all sorts of crazy ways. My insides were doing a little dance, while my mind was racing a million miles a minute.
I had wanted this, wanted him for so long now. This weird, tension-filled dance we were constantly doing around each other was exhausting. Not to mention the fact that I had been warring with myself and my feelings for him for weeks now. Him telling me he wasn’t good for me, me seeing him with another girl, even Tyler and his obsessive pursuance of me had my mind drowning in confusion.
But last night had cleared some things up. For one, Cade was officially the only person who could actually give me an orgasm during sex. Speaking of, the sex last night was fucking mind blowing. I knew I wanted that again, I wanted him again. But I wasn’t sure if he wanted me. I mean, physically, I feel like we had that undeniable connection. But I wasn’t sure if that was all it was for him, just sexual chemistry. That thought tugged at the back of mind, so I did my best to force it away.
“Stop overthinking this.” Cade’s voice was thick and full of sleep when he spoke those words. He didn’t open his eyes when I felt his hand squeeze one globe and slide down to the back of my thigh, pulling it up and across his waist.
“What? I wasn—”
“Yes, you were. I can practically hear your mind working this in a million different ways. Just let it be and enjoy it. Okay? I sure as hell am.” This time his stark blue eyes drifted open and I saw something strong and powerful flash behind them. He gripped my thigh tighter, in a possessive and fiery way that sent my body shivering under his touch. He leaned forward and claimed my mouth with his, feeling every bit of the intensity he was surely trying to convey as his lips moved against mine. His tongue sought me out and flicked across the roof of my mouth as he pulled away, nipping and tugging my bottom lip before letting go.
I was already feeling flustered at this glorious wake up and let my hand fall down his cheek to rest on his neck.
“Okay, okay. I’m not overthinking it. And of course, I enjoy this.”
It’s true. I was enjoying this. We had broken through some serious walls last night. We had torn down so many barriers that I never thought I’d be able to share with anyone. It left me wanting more of him in every possible way. But I was struggling on sorting through the thoughts and feelings in my mind, trying to make sense of every new piece of the puzzle I was given last night. But I would take Cade now, whatever he was willing to give me and for as long as I could have it. That I knew for sure.
“Good. Are you ready to grab some breakfast downstairs before we head out?” He leaned back and sat up in the bed, letting the sheet fall around his waist and giving me that perfect view of his strong, tight stomach. God, even this early in the morning he looked amazing. His skin was like sinewy silk pulled tightly across steel, and I caught myself staring a moment too long. When he let out a small laugh, I snapped my eyes back up to his face.
“Yes, let’s go before we get stuck here all morning.” Truthfully, if we didn’t get dressed quickly I was probably going to jump him and drag him back to bed. The way he set my body on fire with just a glance had me fantasizing about all the naughty things we could be doing together.
Cade leaned forward and placed his arm on the other side of my head, effectively pushing me back on the mattress as he hovered over me.
“What if I don’t mind getting stuck here all morning with you?” His voice was lower now, sending jolts of electricity beaming straight to my core.
“As much as I’d love to stay here with you ... I should check on Sav and make sure her and Logan are doing okay.” A thump of pain lit up my chest when the events leading up to last night flooded my mind and, all of a sudden, any urge of sexual tension had eased from my body. I could tell he noticed when I instantly tensed, because he slid one arm under my back and pulled me up to face him. He dropped one hand to my shoulder and glided it to the back of my neck where he began slowly rubbing and massaging the tight muscles under my hair. Relaxation melted into my skin, and I dropped my head against his shoulder, letting him work out the anxious tension that had built up in my spine from last night.
“They’re okay, I promise. But let’s call them and check in to see what the plan is for today.”
I responded in a lazy, appreciative moan as his fingers gently pressed into my skin for a few more moments before we both stood up and located our clothes to get dressed. Cade shimmied back into his dark jeans and long-sleeved tee from last night, while I pulled out a pair of thick black leggings layered under a denim skirt and a long-sleeved, flowy sweater that I loved because it was always falling off of one shoulder.
We made our way downstairs while Cade called and spoke with Logan in order to pin down the details of our trip back to campus today.
“So, what’s the plan?” I asked as Cade hung up and slid his phone into the front pocket of his jeans.
“The hotel is allowing Sav and Logan a late check out, so they are both coming back here to pack up later before they leave. They already spoke with Jake and he’s hitching a ride home with a guy he supposedly hung out with last night. Which means, Bambi, you’re riding home with me.” One side of his lips kicked up in a half smile that easily had every girl ready to fall all over him. He draped one arm around my shoulder and tugged me up against him, obviously pleased with the driving arrangements.
“What? Are you sure? I can wait and ride back with them, no problem.” I dropped my eyes to the ground, suddenly a little nervous about the idea of us spending a few hours together in the car. I absolutely wanted to, but after everything we had shared last night about our lives, I wasn’t sure how the atmosphere would be in such a tight confined area between us.
“Alright braniac, stop overthinking it and just let loose. Ride home with me. I promise I’ll make it worth it.” Cade turned his head toward me and winked one of those bright blue eyes. I instantly felt the heat rise to my cheeks and a flutter shoot through my chest at his implications.
“Well in that case, you don’t have to ask again.” I laughed, trying to hide the reaction my stomach was experiencing, the butterflies taking flight and scrambling to escape me.
We finished breakfast and, while several eyes were constantly on us, I did my best to ignore them and focus on whatever budding relationship I had going on with Cade. We’d been toeing around whatever chemistry we had for a while now, and honestly, I wasn’t sure exactly what it was that he wanted out of this.
After we split up briefly and packed our things, I quickly called Savannah just to double check the plan.
“Oh oh oh, you’re riding back with Cade?” she asked, absolutely zero reference to everything she had been through last night. It was just another, new day for her and she was back to living life to the fullest.
“Stop it, I would have stayed and ridden back with you guys if you wanted.”
“Hell no, you’re definitely going with Cade. Don’t let us ruin a good time.” She laughed into the phone and I felt it reach inside me, her happiness and humor was infectious.
“Of course, I promise. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.” I hung up the phone and quickly folded the rest of my clothes, layering them in small piles in my weekend bag. When I had finished gathering all of my belongings, I decided to help Savannah out a bit by collecting all of her things and placing them on her bed. I wasn’t sure how sore she was from the accident, so the less she had to wander around the suite, the better.
On the way out, I stopped by Jake’s room to check in on him and let him know what my plan was. I knew he had already chatted with Savannah, but I hoped I could catch a glimpse of whoever it was he spent the night with. No such luck though. He opened the door slightly, only giving me enough room to see him and was quick to end our conversation and get back to whatever he was doing before I interrupted.
I was laughing to myself a bit and glancing down at my phone, lost in thought, when I ran face first into a solid, hard body.
“Oh crap, sorry I didn’t see—” My eyes shifted upward and met directly with Tyler’s. His were a dark, smoldering ebony color filled with intensity, and I couldn’t help but notice the darkened skin under his eyes.
“Tyler.”
“Hey there, gorgeous.” His words should have been a compliment, but instead that familiar icy feeling spread through my body, and the sound of his voice fell completely flat. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to hit on me, or if there was a hint of warning in his voice.
I winced at the term of endearment and glanced behind his shoulder, looking for anyone that may be around us, hoping this hallway was a little more public than it seemed to be. Thankfully, there were a few people milling about and getting ready for their drive back to campus as well, so I felt like we were decently safe.
“Looking for Cade? I thought for sure he’d be following you around like a little puppy by now.” He brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck, but I involuntarily flinched in response. I saw something dark flash in his eyes at my reaction, but it was gone just as quickly.
“Cade doesn’t follow me around, Tyler. We’re friends for Christ sake.” I was ready for this conversation to end, for us to both go our separate ways and never see each other again.
He laughed at my words, a full belly laugh that had him throwing his head backward. “Right, friends. Sure.” He leaned in farther, bringing his lips directly next to my ear so only I would hear him. “We were friends once, too, remember that? Because I remember you following me to my room all too clearly. Remember you climbing on top of me and my hands all over—”
I placed my hand on his chest and pushed him backward, but he hardly moved. I couldn’t deny that he was much taller and stronger than I was, but the intention wasn’t lost on him. I closed my eyes and forced myself to push those memories from my mind. What had started as a harmless hookup had grown into something so much worse and nasty.
“Shut up. Obviously that night was a horrible mistake, and I regret ever going up there with you. I had no idea you were going to become an obsessive asshole. And you said Cade was the puppy?” For a split second I worried that I had taken this too far, my words too harsh. But honestly, I didn’t care. He had said and done things to me that I would never forgive, and obviously he needed to hear the harsh truth so he would finally back off.
His eyes turned an even darker shade and his lips turned down in a scowl. But before he said another word, his expression quickly changed to something even more frightening. His lips kicked up in a wicked grin that didn’t reach his eyes. He stood his ground and dipped his head toward mine again, but this time I was quick enough to lean backward and keep some distance between us.
“Don’t push it, Bambi. Or you won’t see it coming.” A shiver slid down my spine, and the ice from his glare erupted throughout my entire body. I hated that he used the nickname Cade had given me. It felt intimate and personal with him, but when Tyler spoke it, I felt disgusting and vulnerable. I returned his gaze with one just as strong for a moment before stepping around him and continuing down the hall toward Cade’s room.
I didn’t even glance back to see if Tyler was watching, but I had an icky feeling that his eyes were still on me when I rounded the corner and located Cade’s door.
Before knocking, I took a moment to clear my mind of my conversation with Tyler, shaking off the threatening tone of his voice and the crude things he said to me. I knew Cade would notice and I didn’t want him starting anything up. I didn’t want him getting hurt because of me and, in all truth, this was between me and Tyler. Cade didn’t need to get hurt because of me. I knew for a fact he could take Tyler in a fight, no problem. But it wasn’t his problem to deal with. Cade wasn’t my boyfriend, and I could handle him on my own.
Physically shaking myself quickly, I tried to get rid of the goose bumps that had risen across my shoulders. I finally rapped my knuckles against his door and he was quick to answer, his black duffle bag in one hand and room key in the other.
“Ready to head out, Bambi?” Cade stepped toward me and shut the door behind him.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I said, my voice an oddly higher pitch than usual. I was trying to lighten my tone and sound unaffected by the previous moments but was failing miserably.
Cade turned back toward me after locking the door and a curious gaze met my eyes. “You okay?”
“Yeah, yes. Of course. Let’s just head out, I’m tired and ready to be back in my own bed.” I rested a hand on his bicep, not immune to the delicious feeling of his muscles under my fingers, even when I was frazzled from Tyler.
He paused for a moment, searching my eyes for something more, but I remained silent. “Alright, if you say so. Let’s hit the road.”
Chapter 41
It was a little after noon and we had been on the road for two hours. The time was flying by because Cade was amazing at keeping the conversation light and entertaining. But I shouldn’t be surprised, his entire demeanor had lightened since we’d spent the night together. I couldn’t help but feel giddy over the fact that he had kept his hand rested on my thigh the entire drive so far, and I found myself tracing light patterns across his skin while we talked.
We talked about music and the fact that he pretty much only listened to new country or Blink-182, an odd pairing alone, but even stranger when I imagined him blasting Tim McGraw from his jeep. There was so much I didn’t know about him, but the more time we spent together the more I felt like both of the walls we had built were beginning to dismantle around us. I wasn’t sure exactly how I felt about that; a part of me was happy and relieved to have someone else to talk about my personal life with other than Savannah. But another part of me reminded myself that this wouldn’t last forever, and that I could only let go of so much control. After all, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing someone else I loved like I had lost my parents.
My inner thoughts were constantly at war with each other. Half of me wanted to let loose and enjoy my college years to the fullest, while the other half of me needed to stay in control of every aspect, refusing to let myself enjoy simple experiences. However, I realized that I could possibly have both as long as I guarded my heart closely enough. I could drink and let loose, have this fun, light relationship with Cade so long as I made sure to pull the reigns in when I felt like I was giving too much of myself away. I could do that, because I knew I had to.
“So, I was wondering. Every year the frat house throws a big New Year’s party. It’s actually pretty formal and a totally different vibe than the usual keg parties. I was thinking that this year, you should go with me.” It was more of a statement than a question, and it cleared my mind of all the thoughts that were racing through it earlier. I turned to look at Cade and saw him quickly glance my way, trying to gauge my reaction.
“Isn’t that kind of a big deal? Like, wouldn’t everyone think we were together?” I wasn’t sure how I fel
t about that. I knew I needed to keep this thing with us simple and manageable to keep control.
“One, I don’t give a shit what other people think, and you shouldn’t either. Two, who cares? It doesn’t have to be like that and, truthfully, you make some pretty fantastic arm candy. So, I need you there to up my reputation.” That half-lopsided grin kicked up and he gave my thigh a tight squeeze. I laughed at his reasoning and figured why the hell not. I could go shopping with Savannah and we could get all pampered before the party. It sounded like it would be a fun time.
“Can Sav and Logan go?” I wanted to make sure I had a wing-woman if I needed it that night.
“Of course, Logan is supposed to be asking Sav on the drive home today too.”
“Is this some sort of plan ya’ll hatched up together?” I reached forward and turned the heat blasting through the vents down a bit.
“Yes, because that’s what Logan and I do. Plot ways to get the four of us together and you and Sav in tight little dresses.” He winked at me and I felt myself loosening up a little more each minute, little shards of control easing back the tiniest bit. I wasn’t letting go, not at all. But at least I could enjoy these moments with him and have hope for the future. A fun, easy going year in college.
“Okay. I’ll go with you, Cade.” I smiled up at him and laced my fingers through his. He glanced over and squeezed my hand in return, and I melted a little bit at the happy grin that spread across his face.
“Like you were going to say no.” He smirked, his voice thick with humor and confidence. I rolled my eyes and felt the heavy weight of his hand fall on my thigh. Even through the fabric I could feel the warmth of Cade’s hand and it immediately had my body responding in intimate and feverish ways.
His hand slowly slid upward, just barely sliding under the hem of my skirt, and I couldn’t stop the small gasp that escaped my mouth at his touch. I could feel his eyes as they glanced over at me, and my heart picked up its pace.