I Take It Back

by Liza James

  “That’s it baby, give it to me like this first.” And his words sent me soaring over the edge as I exploded around him. That coil ripping through my body and sending quakes within every inch of me.

  But he wasn’t done, and I didn’t want him to be.

  In that moment he brought his thick, hard shaft to my opening and slid it up and down the wetness. As each pulsing wave blew through me from my first orgasm, I felt a new, stinging desire arise in me to have him again.

  “Tell me again, are you ready for this?” he asked, teasing me by using every ounce of his control to simply press himself against me without sliding in.

  “Cade, fuck me,” I said, wrapping my legs around his ass and digging my heels into him.

  In that moment he slid inside me, filling and stretching me farther than I’d ever been. I gasped in reaction, clinging to him tightly and moaning against his ear. He paused for a moment and lifted up slightly, looking at me with concerned eyes.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, leaving me yearning for that friction I needed with him.

  “Don’t stop,” I breathed, pulling him back down and feeling him slide out of me before shooting back in.

  He set the rhythm, slower at first and then gaining momentum. Feeling him fill me and leave me, stretch me and disappear was practically torture. But that tight ball began building again in the pit of my stomach, rolling around and growing until I could hardly stand it.

  “More, Cade.” I moaned, and he gave me just that. He pulled out one last time and gripped my hips tightly, pulling me farther down the bed before he slammed back into me. He lifted my hips at an angle that allowed him to slide in even deeper than before as he thrust inside of me. With each inward stroke, he ground himself against my clit, sending explosions of pleasure throughout me as that coil twisted tighter and tighter.

  “You’re right,” he breathed, hard and ragged against my ear. His hot breath sent tingles through my neck and into my skin. “It is different with you, with us.” His words slammed into me, pushing me closer to the edge. Each thrust into me sent me arching my back and meeting his hips with mine. I had never felt this before, with anyone else I had been with. It was like my body had been made for him, for his hands alone to work and manipulate into a blissful, delicious release.

  I felt that whip again, rooting itself low in my core and spiraling outward, sending electricity tearing through me as I exploded all around him. I practically shouted his name as my nails dug deep into his skin and scraped down his back. A strangled sound left his lips, and he brought himself slamming into me a few more times, finding his own ignited release and pressing his forehead against mine.

  He slowed his movements, allowing me to ride out every wave of pleasure that rolled through me until he finally pulled out and rolled over onto his back. We laid there in post-orgasmic bliss for a few minutes as we caught our breath.

  Standing up, he left to discard the condom. I felt the bed shift under me as he climbed back on. He threw his arm around my waist and pulled me up against him, his front to my back, while I snaked a leg back through his. He laced his fingers through my hand that rested just underneath my breasts and pressed his lips to the nape of my neck.

  I had thought I was being stupid in asking him to stay with me tonight, but as we laid here, relishing in the desire we held for each other, I knew I didn’t have any regrets about that decision.

  Chapter 39

  A few moments later, after our breathing had settled and the dizzy haze of bliss that had clouded me was beginning to taper off, my thoughts came spinning back to a level place. “Well, damn. That was—”

  “Fucking fantastic?” he supplied, cutting me off and finishing my thought for me. I felt the smile across his lips as he pressed them to the side of my neck.

  “I was going to say uneventful ... but if that’s what you’d like to think ...” I joked, laughing through the words I was barely able to say.

  “Oh really, is that so?” His voice was low now, thick with humor as he slid his hand down my hip and back in between my thighs. The wetness left over from a few moments ago was still evident, but even at his heated touch now I felt myself dampening around him.

  “Because all of this tells me otherwise,” he growled against me. I arched my back, pushing myself farther against his touch, and he let out a small chuckle.

  “Alright, alright. It was fucking fantastic.” My voice was breathy, sliding out of me in inconsistent mixes of a moan and a laugh.

  “That’s what I thought.” His smug expression stilled for a brief moment as a wave of seriousness washed over his face. “I’ve wanted to do that since ... fuck, since the night I caught you watching me at the frat house.”

  “Oh god, please don’t mention that night,” I said, burying my face in the pillow, embarrassment radiating off of me.

  “Don’t hide. I loved that night.”

  “In all fairness, I didn’t actually know who you were then. I wasn’t technically staring at you ... I just got, I don’t know. Caught up and zoned out?” Cade’s arm was draped around my waist again, his thumb tracing soft, small circles above my naval.

  “Oh, don’t go ruining the fantasy I have in my mind about that moment, okay? You were totally watching me.” He tickled the back of my neck with his nose, sending goose bumps along my spine.

  “Don’t get me wrong ... I was definitely watching.” My voice dropped a bit quieter as I admitted those words. Cade’s hand pressed into my hip, tugging me tightly against him. “Are you still fighting?” I asked, curious to know if he had been back since that horrible night where we dealt with Devon. I was changing the subject, realizing there were a few things about Cade that I wanted to know about.

  I had mixed feelings about that night. I had woken up that day feeling ... excited about my life, excited about the things I was doing, the adventures I was taking, and the risks I was letting myself indulge in. But then things had so quickly fallen apart around me and I ended up feeling miserable for those weeks following.

  “Mmm, are you sure you’re okay with what we just did? Because you just changed the subject quicker than a bat out of hell.”

  “Yes, I promise. Like I said, it was fucking fantastic.” A giggle erupted from my mouth as I let my hand trail up to Cade’s arm, which was resting just above my head and on the pillow. I grazed a finger down his forearm, trailing back and forth across his taught, ropey skin. God, even his forearms were muscular, each tendon tensing as I moved my hand. “I’m just curious. You know, you’ve seemed to learn quite a bit about me tonight, but I still haven’t learned much about you.”

  “One, you can ask whatever you want. I’ll do my best to answer. Two, yes, I’m still fighting. I’ve had a couple of fights since that night. And I’m set to fight Devon at the end of the week.” He said it so matter-of-factly, shielding any emotion from his voice at those words. I tensed in front of him and my fingers stopped tracing invisible lines across his arm.

  “You are? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I felt the nerves boiling up in my stomach. So many thoughts were racing through my head. I was worried for Cade, for the fact that Devon was a damn good fighter, and he trained professionally for it. But I was also worried that Cade was only fighting him because of what happened last time. I turned my body around in his arms, so that I could face him and try to decipher his expression.

  I met his warm, midnight blue eyes with mine, searching his for any indication of what he was thinking.

  “I’m sure it’s a good idea. Devon and I ... we have some shit between us that needs resolving. Our last real fight technically ended in a draw because it was broken up. You know, that night I met you.”

  “But you aren’t fighting him because of that night, right? The second fight?” I tucked my hand under my cheek, hesitant to touch him, and seeking out a response I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear.

  Cade reached out and tugged my hand out from where I hid it, pulling it against his chest and enveloping it in his o
wn hand. I could feel his pulse thumping against my touch; it wasn’t rapidly beating out of control, though. It was strong and steady as he met my gaze with his.

  “I will never forgive Devon for how he touched you that night. And yeah, there’s a large part of me that wants to beat his fucking face in for that. But no, that’s not the only reason I’m fighting him.” The way he said those words let me know he was finished with the conversation. I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me, but I didn’t want to push him any further.

  “Okay.”

  “What else do you want to know about me, Bambi?” He was genuinely asking the question, seemingly ready to talk about anything else.

  “What are you studying? And how the hell don’t I know what it is? I feel like everyone should know.” It’s true, I had no idea what Cade was majoring in at school. No one talked about it, no one mentioned it. I guess no one really cared? Right now, college was all about parties and hookups and his fights.

  “I’m pre-med.”

  Oh.

  Oh.

  Definitely not what I expected.

  But was I the tiniest bit turned on by the fact that he was some sexy, doctor/cage fighter?

  Maybe a bit.

  “What the hell? Are you serious?” I was beyond surprised. That made no sense to me.

  Cade tilted his head back and let out a deep, throaty laugh that instantly made my insides spring to life. I loved his laugh, that big, real one.

  “What? I can’t be a surgeon if I’m fighting and beating people up?”

  “Uh. Yeah, basically that exactly.” I wanted to hide the shock from my voice, but honestly that was impossible right now.

  He laughed again, dropping my hand and grasping a lock of my hair that had fallen down my shoulder and across my neck. He was twirling it around his finger, dropping it and twirling it again.

  “It’s true, I know it’s weird. But I’ve always wanted to work in the medical field, ever since I was kid. And I’ve also been a fighter, that’s true, too. I used to get into it with kids in middle school, but I was also the only one who cared enough to learn how to fix a bloody lip or nose, whether it was mine or theirs.” His eyes drifted somewhere else behind me, focusing on something that wasn’t physically there. His mind had wandered somewhere else briefly as his voice trailed off.

  “Tell me more about that, I don’t understand.” I didn’t. I didn’t understand how someone wanted to fight like he did, but also wanted to help someone just as equally. But I could tell it was something he didn’t necessarily want to talk about or liked talking about. Because he was still mentally off into that unknown place.

  I brought my hand up to his face, cupping his cheek and bringing his eyes back to mine. “Cade, talk to me.”

  “I don’t talk to anyone about this stuff. My life. It’s not the happiest of stories.” Something clouded his eyes, uncertainty binding his voice.

  “My life isn’t the happiest story either. You’ve literally listened to me all night and helped me when I needed it most. I can listen to you.” My thumb drifted back and forth across his cheek before I slid it down to his neck, letting it rest against his warm skin.

  His eyes searched mine quietly for a moment before he spoke. “My dad and I don’t have a great relationship. My parents are still together, because their reputation means more to them than anything else. And my sister, she’s younger than me, just by a couple of years. We’re close, but we had some shit we had to deal with together, too.”

  “What do you mean? Did something happen to the two of you?” I treaded lightly, unsure of what he was comfortable sharing with me.

  “She ... went through something when we were in high school. I ended up getting into a lot of fights around that time. It caused a lot of problems with my parents. But it’s in the past now.” He paused for a brief moment, losing himself in something of the past.

  “I’m sorry she had to experience whatever it was, Cade.” I spoke softly.

  His eyes met mine briefly, a pained expression flitting quickly across his face before he continued speaking. “She goes home to visit our parents when she’s on break from school. But I ... I don’t go home often.” His voice was quiet as he spoke and, for some reason, I felt shivers slide up my spine when his tone changed as he mentioned his lack of family visits. I silently urged him to keep sharing.

  “My family is wealthy ... disgustingly wealthy. So, they care about what country clubs they’re a part of and what every other grossly wealthy family thinks of them. They’ll never split up, it would be too humiliating in the community. But my dad, he used to ... him and I would get into it ... bad. We were always fighting and sometimes things would escalate too far. Never with my mom or my sister, thank God. But with me, and that was okay. I needed to take the brunt of that for my family.” His words trailed off, and immediately that shiver let me know what kind of brunt he was actually taking.

  “Cade ...” I had no words. I hated the thought of Cade being a younger boy, dealing with an abusive father. I couldn’t even bare to imagine that.

  “Don’t. I don’t need your pity or anything like that, that’s not why I told you.”

  “I know. I’m not pitying you, I promise. But I do hate the thought of you having to deal with that. You know how brave you are?” My words were breathless, squeezing through my throat as I physically forced them out of my mouth. I almost didn’t want to say anything at all, I wanted to sit in this silence that was so heavily resting on us.

  He laughed a small, dry laugh. “I didn’t ever feel brave, that’s for damn sure. But I’ve grown up a lot since then. I don’t go home unless it’s an emergency, I don’t talk to my parents often. I save up everything I make off of these fights so that one day, I can write my family one big check and then write them off for good. Not my sister, but my parents. My mom ... while she never hit me, she was just cold to everything, you know? Maybe numb. She never stood up for us ... and that almost hurt worse than what my dad did.”

  My heart was cracking, fissuring with each word that left his mouth. His mom never stepped in? Never tried to stop it? I don’t understand how someone could stand back and just let things happen.

  “I’m sorry, Cade. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that growing up.” I fought back the burning that was beginning to prick at the back of my eyes. Forcing that down, I felt like, for once, I needed to be the strong one for him. He took the brunt of everything for his family, for his sister. Maybe, just once, I could be there for him?

  I hoped so.

  “Don’t be sorry. I’m okay.”

  I knew he was beginning to stretch thin over this topic. His eyes harbored a pained expression, but something else blazed behind them as well. Strength, and a determination to survive. I was inspired by that, so incredibly amazed at what he’d been through. But it made the fighting and his major make sense. He had this weird balance to his life. Fighting, something he was already so accustomed to unfortunately, but also a way to separate himself from that past. And then being in the medical field, being able to save and help other people, it was like a stark division between his past and his future working seamlessly together.

  “It’s also why I’m so ... aware of Tyler when he’s around. I don’t know, I just feel this familiar vibe off of him. I’ve always been wary, and I get super wary when he’s around you.” This time his hand slid to the back of my neck, gently massaging as I felt the tension build in my shoulders at the mention of Tyler.

  “I don’t think Tyler would ever hurt me like that. As creeped out as I am by him, I can’t see him taking it to that level.” I was being honest. Tyler had absolutely ticked my creep meter lately, but he was so angry that day after the fight with Devon. When Devon shoved me and I had those bruises, I couldn’t imagine Tyler inflicting that on me in any way.

  “I know, I’m not saying he would. I’m just saying to be careful. Okay? Obviously, I don’t want you around him.” Cade pulled me tightly against him in a possessive wa
y, my body fitting into him like a puzzle. Our legs tangled and his hand trailed up into my hair. I slid my hand up his chest and onto his neck as our foreheads fell together.

  “I know. Believe me, I want to keep my distance from him too.” My lips brushed against his. I wasn’t intending them to, but we were so close, it was impossible for them not to touch.

  His hand gripped my hair, tugging and tilting my head backward. His lips came to mine, kissing me with such intensity it caught me by surprise. His tongue slid across my bottom lip before he nipped at it and pulled it between his teeth. I gripped his neck and my fingers tangled in his lose hair as I pulled him closer to me, my back arching, and pushing my hips against his.

  His kiss went even deeper, eating at me with his mouth. It was erratic and hungry and I felt the tips of my breasts harden against his chest. His hand slid up, cupping my breast as his finger began working my nipple. I moaned against his mouth, trying to catch my breath as I began aching for him, deep in my stomach and rippling between my thighs.

  “Fuck, I already need to be inside you again. I can’t wait,” he said, his words sending an entire new wave of arousal washing over me. I grinded my hips against him, feeling his cock hard and thick against me, and the spark of friction against my heated center had me craving so much more.

  “Don’t wait,” I said breathlessly as his mouth moved down to my neck and nipped at the soft skin over my pulse.

  Cade reached behind me, grabbing his wallet that he had tossed to the side, and pulled out another foil packet. Tearing it open and sliding it on himself, I found myself back in the position of having my legs wrapped tightly around him as he slid inside me, filling me completely. My head fell backward as our rhythm picked up, our hips grinding into each other until we fell apart, consumed in one another entirely.

  Damn it, I knew it the second the thought pricked the back of my mind.

  I was falling for him.

  Chapter 40