True Colors

by Krysten Lindsay Hager

  “Do you mind if I sit with those guys at lunch?” she had asked us. “It’s just for today.”

  And then she switched tables and never came back. She’d talk to me once in a while in class or give me one of her cutesy waves where she made bunny ears. At least she didn’t ignore me when I sat at her table in science last month when my partner was sick. I wondered what she’d do if I asked if I could eat lunch with her? Even if she said I could, I’m sure Yasmin would stare me down until I left or Stuart would ask me if I got lost on my way to the losers’ table.

  After class, we went to the theater for a presentation, and Thalia and I sat together in the back row. I saw Ericka and Tori sitting together, and Ericka was whispering to her. Tori started laughing, and Ericka sat back with a smirk on her face. The presentation was some stupid science guy with fuzzy white hair sticking up all over. The science guy asked for a volunteer, and I shrank down in my seat as Arianna ran up on stage.

  “She’s so fake,” Thalia said, rolling her eyes.

  “Who?”

  “Arianna. I mean, she’s Yasmin’s friend, but Kyle drools over her in math class and she encourages him.”

  “I dunno, she sits by Kyle and maybe Yasmin doesn’t mind,” I said.

  “Please, I once borrowed a pen from Yasmin and she stood over me while I used it. Trust me, the girl doesn’t share well.” Thalia pulled out a cherry cough drop from her purse and offered me one. “I invited Arianna to my party because her mom works for my dad, but it bugs me how everybody thinks she’s so great.”

  Crazy science guy sprayed Arianna with some water, and everyone started laughing. I noticed Ericka was hanging on Tori. After the show, I overheard Ericka say the science guy was my real dad.

  “They have the same hair,” she said, laughing. Tori found this hilarious. So I have pale hair. Big deal. I felt like pointing out that unlike Tori and Ericka’s fathers, at least my dad had hair. Tori had seen my dad before and knew he had light brown hair, but did she speak up for me? Nope.

  ****

  Later, I watched Arianna and Kyle in class, and he was flirting with her. He’d do something stupid, look over at Mrs. Lacey’s desk, and then they’d laugh all silent-like. Ha ha, you’re killing me. Then he shredded little pieces of paper and stuck them in the heating vent by the window. Arianna put her hands over her mouth like this was the funniest thing ever. Two minutes later, the heater made a weird noise and paper shot out of it. They almost wet themselves. Thalia looked over at me and rolled her eyes.

  Mrs. Lacey walked over to the vent and looked at Kyle, who was now all innocent and doing his work. She sighed and said we were going to change seats. Fabulous. All I needed was to wind up sitting next to Ericka. Mrs. Lacey put Kyle right in front of her desk and moved Ericka across from him. Then she put me behind Kyle and next to Arianna. Kyle leaned back in between Arianna and me.

  “I’m going to have to come over here a lot since I’m stuck at a loser table,” he said.

  I knew Ericka had heard him, and I wondered if he lumped me in with her even though she wasn’t speaking to me. Kyle reached over, took my pencil, and went up to the sharpener.

  “I don’t know how you could write with it so dull,” he said, handing it back to me. Arianna said she only used mechanical pencils.

  “Yeah, but yours is boring,” he said. “Landry’s is cool.” Was he making fun of my glitter pencil? I had taken the dangling kitten face off it, but maybe he knew it was supposed to be on there. He showed me his hologram pencil and said we should trade for the day. I still wasn’t sure if he was trying to make a fool out of me, but I switched with him. I just hoped he didn’t get glitter in his eye, go blind, and then try to sue me.

  I was walking to my next class when somebody stepped on the back of my shoe and pulled it off my heel. I squished my foot around my shoe until it slipped back on. Then it happened again. I pretended not to notice, but I heard Ericka’s voice so I hurried into the science room. I sit next to Hana, but she wasn’t there yet, so I sat down and opened my notebook. Stuart Graham walked over and sat in the seat across from me. Okay, what’s this?

  “Hey Landry,” he said, taking Kyle’s pencil out of my hand. “I heard you like somebody in here.”

  Tori was staring out the window, but Ericka was watching us. My eyes burned. Okay, ignore me, but don’t humiliate me. I never should have told Tori I thought Kyle was cute.

  “Hey, gimme my pencil.” I looked up, and Kyle grabbed his pencil back from Stuart. “Landry, don’t let a loser like Stuart touch my stuff.” Stuart punched him on the arm, and Mrs. Tamar walked in with Devon and Hana behind her.

  “Everybody in your seats. Now.” Mrs. Tamar snapped the screen down over the board and flipped on the overhead machine.

  “I’m having the worst day,” Devon said. “I had to take Jay to the office ‘cause he wasn’t feeling well, and then he puked in the hall.” She squinted at the board. “What’s it say? Am-what?”

  “Amphibian. What happened?” I asked, moving my chair further away from her. The stomach flu was my biggest fear in life. Well, tied with finding a centipede in my food.

  “The secretary paged Mr. Ivanov to clean it up, and Jay went home.”

  All day long I freaked out every time my stomach hurt because I thought I was getting the flu. I was walking to the bus when Kyle asked me for the math homework. I pulled out my binder, and papers went flying everywhere. Smooth. He picked up the stuff next to his feet, while I chased after a book report.

  “Um, it’s in here somewhere,” I said. I flipped through the pages, but it was hard to balance my binder on my knee.

  “It’s no big deal. I can get it from someone else,” he said and ran toward his bus. At least he didn’t laugh at me. When I got on the bus I heard Ericka say, “Nice job, Gracie.” It took me a minute to figure it out. I slid down in my seat and pulled out my notebook. I started writing so no one would bug me. Mom always tells me to focus on positive things, so I wrote Kyle was nice to me and I liked my new seat in Mrs. Lacey’s class. Maybe Arianna would even ask me to sit at her lunch table. It would show my old friends when popular people like Kyle and Arianna wanted to hang out with me.

  ****

  The next day, Arianna told me Kyle called her last night for the homework. I wanted to tell her he had asked me first, but I didn’t. She asked if I thought it would be weird if they started going together because he was so much shorter than her. I said height didn’t matter, but I wondered why she was so sure he liked her. Kyle came into the room and ruffled my hair as he walked to his desk.

  Later, Arianna ran up to me outside during lunch. “Guess what? Kyle just asked me to go out with him,” she said. Her skin was glowing from the cold. “If you hadn’t talked me into it I never would have said yes, so thanks,” she said over her shoulder as she walked back to her friends. Um, how did I talk her into going out with the guy I liked? Could I be any more of a moron?

  We got our reader response journals back in English, and I got an A+. Mrs. Kharrazi wrote I should start keeping a journal. Seemed like the thing to do since I only had two friends. Then I could end up like a crazy woman in the attic rocking back and forth with piles of journals around me. Good times, good times. I spent the entire gym class holding my stomach on the bleachers while everyone else got sweaty playing kickball. Once in a while Thalia and I had to duck as balls flew at our heads. The guys always have to show off how strong they are by kicking the ball as hard as they can so it bounces off the ceiling beams. Just once I’d like to go up to the plate and kick the stupid ball so hard it went through the wall and leave them all just staring. Of course, I couldn’t even get the ball to go up in the air. Once I got the ball a foot off the ground and was so surprised I forgot to run to first base, and they got me out. I didn’t mind since when I was on base, I never knew when to run and I’d have to ask someone on the other team to tell me when to go.

  After we changed our clothes, we had to line up and wait for a teacher to walk us
back because we’re too stupid to find our classrooms by ourselves. It’s so humiliating. In the public school they can do whatever they want, but we’re herded like sheep from one field to the next. It’s not like we could make a break for it since there’s a twenty-foot high chain link fence surrounding the school. Plus, the grounds people patrol the area with walkie-talkies in case one of us gets out of line. One time I ran back to the gym because I forgot my gloves and this woman almost bit my head off. She actually called me a “smarty pants” when I said I didn’t want to get frostbite.

  When I got to lunch, Nikolas, this guy who rides my bus, said “hi” to me as I walked past him. He’s sort of cute, and he sat with me on the bus one day. It was the first time a guy had sat with me because he wanted to instead of being forced to because there weren’t any empty seats. I ate lunch with Ashanti and her friends, Maggie and Halle. Ashanti told me Nikolas had come up to them and asked her my name. I hadn’t paid a lot of attention to him, but I knew his dad had been a professional soccer player, he was born in Toronto, moved here from Tampa, was into computer animation, only drank pineapple juice and hated beef jerky the first time he tried it.

  In fifth hour, we had to go out in the parking lot because of an accident in the science lab. I was taking a test, and I had gotten as far as writing my name. I had been hoping for a fire drill, and when they told us to go outside, I thought I had become like the girl who could start fires with her mind. Mrs. Lacey said not to worry because we’d have plenty of time to finish our test.

  I ran over to Ashanti in the parking lot, and we huddled together. I tried to pull my skirt down to cover my freezing legs and overheard Ericka ask what kind of moron wore a skirt in forty-degree weather. I pretended not to hear, and Ashanti rolled her eyes.

  “Nikolas’s looking over here,” she said.

  I tried to turn my head slowly like those shampoo commercials where the girl’s hair fans out all sexy. Unfortunately, I had used too much hairspray this morning so when I moved my head it looked like I had a tick. Nikolas was leaning against the parking barrier and smiled at me. He even touched my elbow and said “hey” as we were going back into the building. Ashanti grabbed my arm and squealed.

  “I love foreign men. They’re so… worldly,” she said. I pointed out Canada didn’t count since it was attached.

  Ashanti had her Franciszka T backpack on the seat when I got on the bus. She looked down and pretended to tie her shoe when I stood by her seat. At first, I thought she was mad at me, but then she whispered for me to sit behind her. I sat down and Nikolas moved up to the seat across from mine.

  “Enjoy the sulfur spill?” he asked.

  “Um, yeah. I enjoy anything disrupting the learning process.”

  “Huh? Can I get your e-mail address or something?” he asked. He didn’t waste any time. I opened my backpack and searched for a pen. It was filled with three inches of tissues and gum wrappers, and I hated to stick my hand in there. Ashanti held up a lavender gel pen and a piece of notebook paper. I scribbled down my e-mail address and phone number. He went back to his seat, and I moved up to sit with Ashanti.

  “Guys never ask girls for their numbers unless the girl is alone,” she said. “So? Do ya like him?”

  “I don’t know. He’s kind of cute and he’s got an okay personality, but…”

  “Is it the weird hair?” she asked. “Would it help to know his dad drives an expensive car?”

  “No, but what kind is it?”

  “I’m not sure. It looks like a clown car, but my dad said it was expensive.”

  “I dunno. Nikolas seems a little immature,” I said.

  “Well, he acts kinda young, but my mom says girls mature faster, and the hair… it’s either trendy or his mom does it for him. Maybe it’s a style they do where he’s from and it just hasn’t hit here yet.”

  I checked my messages fourteen times. I was still on Ericka and Tori’s social media pages, and I forgot to switch my chat thing to “offline,” so they were probably laughing at me for being on-line all night. They always used to check their messages around eight o’clock, and they never pop up in my “chat list” anymore. I had no idea how they kept themselves hidden. If I were smarter I’d know how to change mine, too. Ashanti instant messaged me while I was checking my mail for the millionth time.

  TI22: Anything yet?

  Albright: No. You don’t think he’s some sort of master hacker and can read this?

  TI22: Doubt it. Besides he wouldn’t know who “he” was anyway.

  Albright: Good point. Hold up, I just got mail. Not him :(

  TI22: Jay and I worked together in English today :0) Crap, my mom’s home and I was supposed to clean my room, but I was too exhausted. See ya.

  I looked at my clock, and it was after nine. Okay, this was just stupid. Why ask for my e-mail address if you’re just going to use it for a bookmark? What was wrong with him? I was going to check my mail one more time and if he—yes-yes-yes. I had got mail! Life was good.

  To: Albright@alphamail.com

  From: NIK@romail.com

  Re: Hey

  Hey. What’s up? I had a ton of homework tonight. Are you riding the bus tomorrow? –Nikolas

  My first e-mail from a guy, and this was the best he could do? I mean, you could send it to your grandfather or a nun or some homeless person you just saw on the street, although in retrospect, a homeless person wouldn’t have a computer or e-mail access, but still.

  Nikolas had lost his chance. I was not even going to respond. Let him sit up all night wondering if I’ll be riding the bus.

  I broke down fifteen minutes later and e-mailed him back. Maybe Ashanti can play hard to get with Jay, but some of us just didn’t have those options.

  To: NIK@romail.com

  From: Albright@ alphamail.com

  Hey, I had a ton of homework, too. I may or may not ride the bus in the morning. Same goes for the afternoon. -Landry

  And it took me ten minutes and five re-writes to come up with it. I used the same opener he used and didn’t offer any more information than he did. It was simple, straight to the point, with a bit of mystery and a touch of, dare I say, intrigue?

  ****

  I was at the bus stop early the next morning. I wanted to wear another skirt, but Ashanti hadn’t said whether she was wearing one and I didn’t want to be the only one wearing a skirt, like I was trying to show some leg. Tori didn’t say anything to me, big shockerino. Nikolas tugged my hair as he got off the bus. I wasn’t even sure if I liked Nikolas. He did annoy me when he got excited over video games or bragged about his soccer player dad, but it was nice to have somebody like me.

  Chapter Five

  I was making a sundae when the phone rang. Ashanti usually calls me around four o’clock so we can talk about As the Days Roll On. I licked the ice cream off my spoon and answered the phone, and it was a guy calling… for me. It wasn’t too hard to narrow it down since no guys (other than my dad) ever call me. I swallowed too fast and tried to ignore the ice cream headache taking over my brain.

  “Uh, hi. How are you?” I said. Ugh, so unoriginal.

  Lucky for me, Nikolas likes to talk, and he took over the conversation telling me about his new computer game. I hit the mute button as I ate so he wouldn’t hear. Then he did it—so fast I almost missed it. He asked me if I wanted to meet him and his friends at the mall on Saturday. I didn’t know what to say. Did he mean I should come with my friends or did he mean it like a date? Did he like me, or did he just want to hang out at the mall? I said I’d check with my friends and told him I’d e-mail him.

  I got off the phone and freaked out. Nikolas was the first guy who had ever asked me to do anything, and I might not be able to go because I had no one to go with me. My mom would never let me meet a group of guys by myself. I called Ashanti to see if she was free, but she wasn’t home. I wanted Ashanti to go, but I was afraid she might already have plans. She was probably out with Halle and Maggie right now having a great time. I t
ried to focus on my math homework, and Mom brought home Chinese food for dinner. I cracked open my fortune cookie, but all I got was, “Patience is the greatest virtue.” Not exactly fame and fortune there. The phone rang, and I almost knocked my mom over to answer it.

  It was Ashanti. “Hey, my mom said you called. Are you eating dinner?” she asked.

  My mouth was half full, but I managed to swallow and say I wasn’t. Mom tried to get me off the phone so I could finish eating, and I hit mute so Ashanti wouldn’t hear her. I tuned mom out and told Ashanti how Nikolas wanted to meet at the mall this weekend.

  “Are you gonna go?” she asked.

  I said I wanted to, but I didn’t want to go by myself.

  “I’ll go with you if you want,” she said. Happiness. I asked mom if she could drive us to the mall on Saturday, and she said she would if I got off the phone and finished my dinner. I got off the phone and dug into my food.

  “I bet it’s cold now,” Mom said. It was, but I didn’t want to admit it to her. “Put it in the microwave,” she said, sighing.

  Dad called after dinner, and I told him Nikolas asked me to meet him at the mall. He asked a million questions about Nikolas, his family, and his plans for the future.

  “We’re just going to meet up at the mall,” I said. “It’s not a date or anything.”

  “It better not be,” he said. “So all’s right in the world then? How’s math class going?”

  I didn’t want him to know I was barely squeaking by in math, so I focused on the “A+” I got on my English lit journal.