Jimmy's Dreams II: A Recurring Nightmare

by Saxon Andrew

  “How am I going to promote him to Captain if he’s not a Lieutenant first?”

  “Sir, he refused it and I could see in his eyes he meant what he was saying.”

  “Damn it! I broke his spirit when I reprimanded him.”

  “Whatever happened, this pilot’s sprit isn’t broken. His self-esteem is gone but that’s about all. I could tell he was not timid in refusing the promotion.”

  “I’ll get back to you.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Derik ended the contact and wondered what was going on in Edward Boyer’s head.

  • • •

  Ed sat in is normal place at the back row of tables at the far-end away from the center aisle. He kept his eyes on his tray and took a bite of squash. The kitchen did a good job today; it was pretty-good; they used a perfect amount of butter. He heard a noise and looked up. A young woman was putting her tray down in front of him and he looked around. There were plenty of chairs away from him. He looked back at her and his eyes narrowed as he tilted his head, “Uhhhhh...”

  The girl smiled, “I hear you’re the Rat.”

  Ed stared at her a moment and said, “Actually, I think I’m called the Bully Rat. Wh..what are you doing sitting here with me?”

  “I have this compulsion to see what makes people tick and you’ve made me curious.”

  Ed looked around and saw a large number of pilots were watching them, “Uhhhh…you could get in trouble with the others by be…being here. You should leave.”

  The girl laughed and waved her hand, “What others think doesn’t bother me in the slightest!” Ed put his hands on his tray and she immediately put her hand on it preventing him from lifting it, “You’ve not finished your meal. To do a good day’s work you need your nourishment.” Ed looked at her and she winked, “You know, women know about those things.”

  “No, I didn’t know that.”

  “Well, we do. So, finish your meal and then you can run.” Ed sighed and took another bite of squash. She started eating while staring at him and after a few moments said, “I expected you to get all angry at me for stopping you from leaving.”

  Ed kept his head down and shrugged, “I don’t get angry very often anymore.” Ed continued to eat and felt her watching him. He finally looked at her, “Why are you here? Did Colonel Carter send you here to try and convince me to take the promotion? I’m not going to do it.”

  “Why not?”

  “So, he did send you!”

  “Nope, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but why would you turn it down?”

  “I’m right where I belong.”

  The girl looked around the cafeteria and saw many heads suddenly turn toward their trays. She smiled and looked at Ed, who was staring at her, “I’ve been watching you for the last four-months since I finished pilot training and I’ve heard that you are an extraordinary pilot.” Ed shrugged. “I asked who was the best and everyone agreed that the best pilot in Fleet was the Rat. I asked around some more and was pointed toward you. I thought I’d come and check you out.”

  Ed’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t need your pity and I’m not some kind of science project!”

  “Oh, but I think you do. You need something with the ghosts I see behind your eyes.”

  Ed took the last bite of squash, grabbed his tray, and stood up. He turned to leave and the girl smiled, “You won’t get away that easy. I’ll see you later.”

  Ed stopped and turned around, “Why are you doing this!?”

  The girl smiled and shrugged, “I guess because I can; I’m kind of made that way. You know…show up when not invited, say the wrong thing at the worst time, sort of an irritant.”

  “Maybe you should be called a Rat.”

  The girl laughed and then smiled, “I’ll think about it. That’s not a bad idea.”

  Ed shook his head and walked away. The girl went back to her meal and a young woman rushed up, “Jillian, are you out of your ever-loving mind?!”

  “Whatever do you mean, Carol?”

  “Don’t get smart with me! That man is dangerous! You know what he did to Charlotte!”

  Jillian watched Ed leave the dining room and said, “Some of us are drawn to the fire, Carol. But I can tell you one thing for certain…” Carol stared at her and she said, “He may be a lot of things but dangerous is not one of them.”

  “You must not have heard what he did to Charlotte’s arm with one hand?”

  “I’ve heard; the twit probably deserved it. The Aliens are the ones that should fear the Rat.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I think the Aliens would be in danger from him, but we’re not.”

  “Jillian, there’s a hundred-pilots that would give their eye-teeth to get your attention and you sit with the Rat! What’s wrong with this picture?”

  Jillian looked at Carol, “Sis, how many Rats are there?” Carol stared at her and Jillian smiled, “I think I prefer to spend my time with unique personalities; they’re much more interesting. The air-heads that keep pestering me are boring!”

  “Jillian, I forbid you to go near him again!” Jillian laughed aloud and Carol rolled her eyes. Forbidding her sister doing anything only insured she’d do it.

  • • •

  Juan noticed everyone in the dining room staring at the far wall. He stood up and saw Ed Boyer having a conversation with a young female pilot sitting in front of him. He grabbed Derik’s collar and pulled him up, “Do you see that pilot talking with Boyer?” Derik nodded. “I want her put on the same shift as his.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that would give them the same meal schedule. I need him brought back to the land of the living, Derik. Get it done!”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  • • •

  The Alien looked at his four-guests in the lounge and smiled, “Are you prepared to go and take a visit to our project?”

  “The images you’ve been showing us are…just too good to be true. Where did you find this planet?”

  “Uh, uh, uh…that will remain a secret. I will not have you trying to take my discovery from me.”

  “I suppose that’s why you haven’t registered it.”

  The Alien smiled, “Exactly; I know how records can be changed for the right price and all of you have enough wealth to attempt to steal it. And when we go there, I will be taking a roundabout way to arrive so you won’t be able to guess at how far it is from here. Using your chronometers to estimate the distance won’t work. Are you still in?”

  The four guests stared at the image of the beautiful planet with large blue oceans, looked at each other, and one said, “Yes, it’s worth a look.”

  The Alien smiled. He had them hooked.

  • • •

  He watched them leave and lifted his connector. “Yes?”

  “They’re in. I want a few bombers brought along just in case some of the former life-forms are still on the planet.”

  “Why worry about them? They’ll die soon enough after we install the heaters.”

  “DO AS YOU’RE TOLD!!”

  “All right, all right! It’s just going to add to the expense.”

  “With these four buyers, we can afford it.”

  “I hope you’re right about that.”

  “As long as they can’t find it on their own, they’ll pay big time.”

  “Do you think the planet is ready?”

  “The computer set this date as to when it would be ready. All we need is for the clouds to be diminished enough so they can see the oceans. That should do the trick.”

  “You’re the boss.”

  “And don’t you forget it!”

  Chapter Three

  Ed entered the cafeteria and saw the young woman sitting at his usual spot. He looked around for another isolated place and came up empty. This had to stop! He went to his normal chair and put his tray down. The girl continued eating and he sighed as he sat down, “You were right.” She looked at him and raised her eyebrows
. “You’re an irritant. I don’t know if you’re here to just make a name for yourself or just want to bring unwanted attention to me. Everyone in the squadron is now staring at us and I think the rest of the cafeteria is also trying to get a good view. I’ve managed to avoid attention and now you’ve taken that from me.”

  “They’re waiting for you to blow up and lose your cool. I think they’re anticipating that you will grab me by the neck and dump me in the garbage cans.”

  “So, you are here to be an irritant.”

  “Of course, I told you that’s what I do.”

  Ed blew out a breath and started eating. He stared at his tray and ignored her. “I’m curious, why did you hurt Charlotte?” Ed’s eyes narrowed and he continued eating in silence. The girl smiled and said, “I’ve wanted to slug the twit several times myself and I was just wondering how you let her get under your skin.”

  Ed looked up at her, “I loved her! I didn’t intend to hurt her!”

  “Ah…that explains it.”

  Ed rolled his eyes, “Explains what?!”

  “You obviously didn’t know anything about her when you hooked your cart to her train.”

  Ed stared at her and she took a bite a salad. He waited and she didn’t say anything. “You’re right, I didn’t really know her.”

  Jillian smiled and said, “I imagine you were all ga-ga over her looks.”

  “Something like that. But don’t go and insult her, it was me that hurt her, she didn’t deserve it.”

  Jillian laughed a musical laugh, “She’s already divorced.”

  Ed’s eyes flew open, “WHAT! She was only married a few months back?”

  Jillian’s eyes twinkled, “Charlotte is the ‘love and leave Em’ type of woman; any man who chooses to get involved with her is an idiot with a capital I and deserves what he gets. I imagine she had her fun with you and decided to move on to better grounds. That still didn’t give you the right to hurt her.” Ed sighed and lowered his head. He started eating and she said, “Why did you hurt her?”

  He looked up and saw the girl staring into his eyes with a serious expression. Ed blew out a breath and shook his head, “I had anger issues at the time and all I did was grab her arm to prevent her from leaving. I didn’t realize I was gripping her so hard.”

  “All you did was grab her arm?” Ed nodded and looked back down. After a few minutes, he heard, “You must have quite a grip?”

  Ed shook his head, “I’ve trained in martial arts my entire life. I intended to make my father pay for his treatment of me and my mother but he killed himself before I could do it.”

  “So, you took out your issues on Charlotte and now you’re angry you didn’t have the opportunity to punish your father.?”

  Ed picked up his tray and said, “No, I realized I had become just like him and I didn’t like what I saw. Please, don’t be here again!” Ed turned and left the cafeteria.

  Carol came running up and said, “Now you’ve done it; you’ve angered the Rat. You’ve got to stop this!”

  Jillian kept her eyes on Ed as he walked away and said, “I didn’t make him angry, Sis. I hurt him.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  “Hurt is worse.”

  Carol sat down beside her and said softly, “Jilly, you can’t save the Rat. He is what he is and you’re not going to change him!”

  Jill looked at her older sister and sighed before saying, “That’s just it, Sis. I don’t think he needs changing.” Jillian stood up and walked away with her tray and Carol watched her leave the cafeteria. She had never seen as much sorrow in her sister’s eyes as she did at that moment.

  • • •

  The next time Ed sat with her, Jillian said, “I’ve heard that the Aliens attack on Earth was all a mistake.” Ed’s eyes narrowed and Jillian said seriously, “They came here to get their hemorrhoids treated and ended up with asteroids.”

  Ed stared at his tray and the corner of his lip went up. He kept his head lowered and Jillian leaned her head down next to the table and stared up at him. Ed smiled and said, “That was a pretty good one.”

  “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you smile in the four months I’ve been watching you.” Ed’s smile disappeared and Jillian went back to sitting up straight, “Now I’ve gone and erased it. I’ll just have to come up with another one.” Ed sighed and tried his best to ignore her. But later when he was above the moon staring out into space, he burst out laughing, it was a good one.

  • • •

  The next day Ed went to the cafeteria and she wasn’t there. He ate slowly and she never showed up. He left and knew he had allowed her to become a part of his routine. He vowed that was not going to happen.

  He went to the evening meal and saw her at his table. He deliberately sat at another table and everyone stood up and walked away. The girl saw him, stood up, lifted her tray, and followed him around the cafeteria as he changed tables. Finally, he went to his normal place and glared at her when she sat down, “DON’T YOU GIVE UP!?”

  Jillian waved her hand, “Nope. I’m made that way.”

  “WELL I’M NOT!”

  Jillian stared at him and said, “I missed breakfast because of a dental appointment.” She opened her mouth and showed her white, front teeth. “Gotta take care of the ole choppers.” Ed lowered his head and she saw his sorrow, “I’ve disappointed you.”

  Ed sighed, “Look, I think I would be far better off if you would just leave…me…alone. I’ve had enough disappointments in my life without adding another one. I’m nothing more than a science project to you and then you’ll move on to the next one.” Ed looked at her and she saw the immense pain behind his eyes, “Please, I beg you, just leave me alone. I had found peace with my life before you barged in. Let me go back and find it again.” He stood up and left his untouched tray behind. Jillian lowered her head and knew he was right. Hurt was worse and even Rats could be hurt.

  • • •

  Ed didn’t see her again for a week and, then one day, she appeared in front of him without a tray. He started to stand up and she said, “Just give me a minute and I’ll not bother you again.” Ed looked at her and went down in his chair. She sat down in front of him and sighed, “You’re right. I originally came and sat with you to find out just what it was about you that made you so repugnant to everyone.” Ed’s eyes narrowed and Jillian said, “Don’t make me try to choose my words carefully, I’m never good at that; I just say what I think.” Ed tilted his head and nodded slightly. “Look, I admit that you were little more than a form of entertainment for me when I first met you.” Ed rolled his eyes and Jillian continued, “But you surprised me.” Ed’s eyes narrowed. “I found more than I thought was there. Do you know that more than a hundred-pilots have been hitting on me to have a date with them?”

  “They must be gluttons for punishment,” Ed muttered.

  Jillian smiled, “Touché. But I’ve had no interest in any of them. I’ve found I’ve looked forward to our times together more than seeing any of them.” Ed’s eyes narrowed again as Jillian said, “You are considered our best pilot; do you know that?” Ed shrugged. “I’ve asked myself repeatedly how that could possibly be if you were all that people say you are.”

  Ed sneered, “What did you determine during your little science project?”

  Jillian leaned forward and looked in his eyes, “I deserved that. The only way you can be the best at anything is to love it. You were threatened to lose it, if you didn’t change your ways, and you changed so you could continue your love of being a pilot. You pushed everyone and everything away from you so you could keep the only love you’ve ever had.” Ed lowered his head and after a long moment nodded. “Any one, and I do mean any one, that can love something that much to pay the price you’ve endured could never be what you’ve been described as. I only wish I had the capability of loving something that much. I walked over here initially feeling all superior and I leave you humbled. I just wanted you to know that.” She stoo
d up and walked away leaving Ed feeling empty.

  The next day he saw Jillian was sitting at another table and he sighed his relief. He saw three men approach her and an animated conversation ensued. One of the men put his hand on her shoulder and she threw it off.

  “Jillian, why are you wasting good time on the Rat!? You know you want to spend some time with us.”

  “Get away from me!”

  “Come on, Jillian!”

  “Is there a problem!?”

  The three men turned around and saw the Rat standing behind them. They took one look in his eyes and they turned and walked quickly away. Ed turned and went back to his table without another word. Carol watched him leave and said, “My, my, my…”

  Jillian smiled.

  • • •

  Ten days later, Ed sat in his striker staring out at the distant stars. Suddenly, he looked out of his cockpit and saw a Striker fifty-yards off his portside, “I wonder if you would be willing to give me some instruction.”

  “What are you doing here?!”

  “I just told you, I was hoping you would be willing to teach me how to be a better pilot. I asked Captain Gallager if he would mind if I asked and he told me I was wasting my time, you refused to instruct anyone. But he agreed for me to come and ask.”

  “Jillian…”

  “Look, I know how you feel about me and I don’t blame you. But I can learn things from you that might later save my life. Look at me as a…science project.” Ed chuckled and she said, “That’s the second time I’ve seen you smile. Will you do it? Please.”

  Ed stared at her looking at him from her cockpit and sighed, “You aren’t really able to handle the instruction.”

  “I’d really like to try.”

  “I don’t mean you can’t do it; you aren’t able to physically handle it.”

  “I think women can handle the same things as men.”

  “How many gravities can your Striker handle in a hard turn?”

  “Ten.”

  “Wrong! The old strikers before they installed the new polymer hulls could only handle ten. The new Strikers can handle twenty and in a pinch handle thirty.”

  “Get outta here!”

  The problem is that your body can’t handle those stresses unless you build up your tolerance to the stresses. Your flight suit will make the difference in surviving, but at thirty-gravities, you’ll pass out in ten-seconds, if you don’t pull out. The Striker can actually handle more than fifty-gravities but the pilots’ bodies can’t. Most pilots in fleet will pass out at fifteen-gravities if they don’t work hard to get in shape. It’s not easy and it’s one of the most painful experiences you’ll ever go through. Your body will ache for days as you build up your tolerance. You’ll regret the day you asked me to instruct you.”