L'amore: The Luminara Series

by SJ Molloy

  While Savio and Kate have breakfast underhand, I head back upstairs to our suite, make our bed, then join Lucca in the bathroom.

  “Are you okay?” Lucca asks, leaning over for his shaving foam.

  “Yes, I’m good. I’ve enjoyed spending time with the kids. They’re great, but I’m just feeling tired. I don’t know how Sarah does it every night. Lucca … about last night, I feel so bad about waking the kids up and scaring Roberta. Do you see why I wouldn’t be a good mother? The poor girl shouldn’t see that, and let me tell you I witnessed my mum having nightmares, horrendous ones and it’s traumatic. I remember some of them,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder.

  He moves my hair to the side and places soft kisses on my neck. “Lexi, you were not too loud and did not say anything remotely scary, and Roberta is too young to comprehend. I knew she would wake up and forget what happened so please do not feel bad.” He stares in the mirror with reassuring warmth in his eyes.

  “Yeah, maybe.” I sigh, watching him rinse his razor blade underneath the tap. “I just think I caused more harm than good. All I wanted to do was help Sarah and Kate but I …”

  “I am sure Sarah appreciated your help. They have all told me they love you, and I know the kids adore you. Sarah and Kate said you were a natural. It makes me so happy to see you bond with them. Please do not doubt yourself; you were great with the girls last night.” He kisses me then begins his shave. This leaves me with a lot to think about.

  After breakfast I take Doris out for a walk with Cameron to Bothwell Castle grounds and have a long discussion about his love predicament.

  “So, you and Anna. Is it serious? Lucca seems to think it is,” I ask, tossing up some leaves with my feet. He picks up some sticks to throw to Doris, and then we sit on a bench overlooking the river. “Anna isn’t like anyone I have ever met before. She is so different. When I saw her in Tuscany I was instantly attracted to her. How could I not be? She’s gorgeous but it’s more than that. I love her sass, tongue and cheek, and smart mouth.”

  He runs both hands over his hair shaping it up at the front then shakes it out. I did see something in his eyes last night that told me he was falling for her. Perhaps their relationship is as deep as Anna was trying to make out.

  “I mean, she’s ballsy and confident and full of life. She has a mind of her own and she’s not the clingy type. She’s independent and knows what she wants. I like that she’s decisive. Also, she makes me laugh, apart from the fact she’s shit hot, it’s like hanging out with a dude. She has a wicked sense of humour sometimes. We’ve had a great time together.” He cocks his head, taps his feet, and waits nervously on my response.

  I think about what he’s said and maybe he is right that they might be compatible. The last thing Cameron needs is someone who’s needy and clingy around the clock, especially when he works crazy shifts.

  “Oh, I never realised how much you actually do care for her. I thought you were just having a bit of fun.” I walk over to Doris and help her find the stick she’s been looking for then throw it in the shallow river, and she frantically gallops in splashing around the water.

  “It started as fun but the more time I spend with her, the more I feel for her. It’s not like we’re going to settle down, but shit, I can’t stay away from her. She has helped me, you know. When I came back from Tuscany I was fucked up a bit, because of you telling me about your abuse. It got me thinking about my own abuse and my mind was all over the shit. Anna was patient, she helped me … showed me lots of compassion, and we shared something special. I’ve never had that before with another woman. Rachel is as deep as the ocean, and you know I am too, so neither of us truly opened up to one another, but with Anna … I don’t know, she has a way of encouraging me to open up and talk, and surprisingly it felt good.”

  He sighs staring out at the river with one hand wrapped around the tattoos on his arm.

  I walk back to stand in front of him. I do understand his words because Lucca does the same for me; perhaps it’s a talented Caruso family trait … counselling. I know that those two are in deep together. “Don’t you think people will think it’s weird that we’re brother and sister and so are Lucca and Anna?”

  He quirks his lip and grins. “Lex, you are so naive sometimes, it’s unreal. I don’t think there are any rules. We are individuals and so are they, and nobody is going to judge us.”

  “Hmmm, I guess. Does that mean you are officially going to be a couple?” I chew the inside of my lip. “Look, I’m worried, if you screw things up with her it will cause problems between Lucca and me.” I kick a stone and nibble my bottom lip.

  “C’mere.” He jumps up, puts his arm around me, and hugs me. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt or upset you, and you will always come first. Always. The only reason I’m telling you this shit about Anna is because I know you don’t approve, and I’d like you to get it. But, you have nothing to worry about. I promise you.”

  Promise.

  A promise is a promise.

  I believe him.

  When I broach the subject of Lucy, he tenses up rigidly, looking down, and runs his hand through his shaggy hair messing up his unruly style again. Although he has opened up about Anna, I think he finds it hard to talk about Lucy because he knows how protective I am of my friends.

  “You know, Lucy still has a lot of strong feelings for you, Cameron. She can’t move on while she’s still hankering over you. I feel so sorry for her, and it pains me to see her upset. Do you still have feelings for her?” I ask as we start walking back.

  “It was a while ago. I like Lucy a lot, and I had an amazing time with her, but the timing was off and … oh, I don’t know. I will put this right, Lex, I know how you feel you about it, and the last thing I want is to give Lucy any false pretence and lead her on. She deserves someone better than me and should move on. I don’t want to hurt her either.” He scuffs some pebbles on the ground.

  Got it loud and clear. He does have feelings for Lucy deep down.

  Fuck!

  File L for love. The love triangle Cameron is messed up in.

  I decide to drop it because he obviously doesn’t want to tell me too much about Lucy. On the way back to the house, I ask, “Have you thought anymore about going to see Casey?”

  He shrugs and says, “I don’t feel like I need to.”

  I was shocked to discover Cameron had also been subjected to sexual abuse when we were held captive. “I’m still having night terrors. Lucca wants me to go back and see her,” I say before we approach the house.

  He stops, places his hand on my shoulders, and turns me around, looking at me with warmth and sincerity. “Well, then you should. You trust her and it wouldn’t do any harm. I’ll come with you if you like, but shit, Lex, don’t ask me to go in for a session. I like dealing with it my way, and Anna has been good for me. You definitely should though.”

  I smile half-heartedly because I appreciate his gesture, but I can’t help feeling he’s in denial and afraid to admit he might need to talk about his experiences. If I didn’t know him any better, I’d say it’s because he probably thinks it’s a chick thing to do. He hates not appearing macho. Doris gallops into the living room and slumps on the carpet against the sofa, thoroughly exhausted. The front of the house is quiet. I walk through to the pool area and everyone is in the water.

  Chapter 14

  I’m all his

  The kids look adorable in their armbands and swimwear. I sit on the end of a lounger waving to the kids and smiling at them, encouraging them to have fun. Lucca places his brawny arms on the pool edge then lifts himself up, looking very much the Italian god I’ve fallen in love with. He strides over to me, lifting his hands to sweep his wet hair back, exposing his ripped abs.

  “You coming in?” he asks, leaning over and kissing me, saturating me with his dripping body.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Puhweese, Aunty Wexi. I can swim, wook at me!” A-Jay shouts
while trying to paddle in Armando’s arms, splashing everywhere.

  “What’s wrong?” Lucca quietly asks me, slowly moving my chin forward so I’m looking straight into his eyes.

  “My scars,” I whisper on a shiver then rub my thumb across my brow.

  “Baby, no one will even acknowledge them. The kids might say something but they are too young to know any better. If you would feel better, wear a vest over your swimwear. This is your family now, and nobody will judge you. Please do not shy away. You are beautiful, and you have nothing to worry about. I do not even notice your scars. All I see is your beauty.” His eyes are soft and earnest, as if he’s pleading with me. Roberta paddles across the pool, splashing her legs, then rests her chin on the side.

  “Aunty Lexi, can you come and play with me?” she begs.

  I can’t say no to that sweet face. “Okay, okay. I’m going to change. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  “Good girl,” Lucca says then kisses me before jumping in the pool and sending the children into fits of giggles. Walking past the steam room door, I can vaguely see Anna through the cloudy glass. I pass Cameron on the way up to the suite, and he’s got a towel around his waist.

  “Anna’s in the steam room,” I say, and he smirks at me with his boyish grin. I perish that thought and shake my head.

  After I make a quick call to Mr. Carlin to check on him, I put on a ruched, deep-purple bikini with a gold brooch to the centre of the bust and at both hips, then slip a sheer, purple and gold trimmed kaftan over the top. I roll a towel under my arms and head towards the pool, opting to leave my hair down so it covers my back.

  Lucca watches me from across the pool as I slip my kaftan off. I slide into the pool and notice a dark shadow under the water swim towards me. Lucca takes hold of my hips then emerges from the water, sliding up my body and pressing his taught body against me.

  “Nice bikini. Can I rip it off you later with my teeth?” he asks as he discreetly slides his thumb under the elastic waistband at my hips.

  My skin convulses with his small touch. We don’t usually swim together clothed, we’re normally naked, but this just adds to the suspense and excitement. I drag my bottom lip under my top teeth.

  “I need to speak to you about something, when you were upstairs … we …um …” He frowns and pinches his eyes closed, as if he is in turmoil about telling me something bad or something I won’t like. Now he has me panicked.

  Ready to ask what’s wrong, I’m shaken straight out of that thought when the kids giggle and splash towards us. Roberta paddles towards me in her cute, red bikini, armbands on, and jumps up on me. I swirl her around the water while she holds her head back, her blonde hair floats in the water around her.

  “You look like a mermaid, Roberta,” I say, leaving Lucca to lean on the poolside edge rubbing his thumb over his eyebrow.

  “Lexi, we need to …” he reaches for my waist under the water to protectively pull me closer to him while I try and entertain Roberta.

  Pausing with my water play, I notice Anna is not alone as she exits the steam room—Kimberley is with her in a shimmery-gold, slinky bikini that barely covers her ass, strutting like a catwalk model.

  Bitch!

  Fuck!

  File S for stop. Stop stalking our family time. Why is she even here?

  Lucca lifts Roberta off me and swooshes her through the water towards Kate’s arms. He frowns as he turns to face me looking cautiously with a flicker of pain in his eyes.

  “Why is your assistant, the one you used to sleep with, at your family weekend in a bikini, strutting around your pool?” My tone is cold and sharp, body rigid.

  He sighs. “I was trying to tell you. Anna invited her. She is her best friend, and they normally spend weekends together, and we are at a pool so she is in a swimsuit. I am so sorry. She just turned up when you were upstairs. Anna arranged it with her and thought nothing of it because she does not know how you feel about her.” He sighs, knowing how I will react and he would be right.

  “So she hangs around here a lot, then?” I snap with sarcasm, turning my back; he swirls me back around as quick as I turned.

  “Baby, please, do not get upset. I know you must be angry right now, and I understand why. She is Anna’s guest, not mine, and given how you feel about Kimberley, she is the last person I would invite to something like this. I cannot very well tell my sister to un-invite her best friend when she was already standing here with her swim stuff, but I will make sure that Anna knows I am not happy about it and ensure this never happens again. It is your home and if you do not want Kimberley here, then I promise she will never be invited again,” he says sincerely.

  “I thought the talk we had the other night would make me feel better about this, to a certain extent, but now … seeing her here like this has made me feel worse, adding more salt to my wounds,” I complain quietly.

  I lean on the side of the pool and pull myself up then reach for my towel. I wrap it around me and walk through the spa area towards the family room. I storm upstairs into the suite and slide my wet bikini off, patting dry my skin. Wrapping my robe around me, I twist a towel over my head then pull back the covers and climb into bed in a stupor. I’m infuriated and enraged with jealously. I don’t want her here because she’s rude and vindictive.

  Moments later, Lucca is standing at the bottom of the bed with a towel around him. “Are you ready to talk about this?” he asks. I fidget with my robe and don’t answer. “Baby, I know you are angry. I am so sorry you feel like this. What can I do other than ask her to leave? But Anna is going to wonder why, so we will need to tell her. I know it is awkward and unpleasant. Fuck … this is such a mess.” He groans and shakes his head.

  Standing at the bottom of the bed, he cocks his head, silently pleading with me to calm down. Turning up for lunch fully clothed would be one thing, but to see her flaunt around in sexy swimwear like that fucking infuriates me. She is deliberating trying to make me jealous. It’s not fucking okay. I wonder if Hazel has seen her yet. Maybe I should just brush it off because I know by the time Hazel finishes clawing at her, she’ll be left feeling raw and wishing she never showed up here.

  Lucca looks down at my wet swimwear on the towel. “Are you annoyed she is in the pool? Spending time with the family or here in general? Help me understand what you are thinking. I want to make this right. I promised you I would do what I need to, to consider your feelings and talking about it the other night helped us.” He wipes at some droplets of water on his face that drips from his hair.

  “Are you seriously asking me that question? You’re just about as intuitive as Cameron. All of it, the pool, the family and the fact she is in your home when she is supposed to be a fucking employee. It’s wrong … and a swimsuit? A slutty, fucking gold swimsuit? She wants you to notice her parading about like that. I’m so goddamn furious.” I raise my voice, tsk, sigh, and look away.

  “Is that worrying you? Jesus, Doc. I have told you a million times that I can never look at another woman when I have you. I do not need to. My eyes are for you and only you, and if I need to remind you how goddamn sexy, beautiful, and attractive you are to me, then I will do it every minute of every day by telling you and showing you.” He softens his voice, still husky but much more considerate.

  “Your lovey-dovey words, Lucca, can’t make my insecurities go away or change how I feel.” I moan and slap my hands on the mattress in a mini tantrum.

  “That is just it. I need to make you feel, feel us. I need to remind you how we feel together and how much I want you. That fiery shit is turning me on. Keep talking, baby,” he says, untying his board shorts and letting them drop to the floor, his massive arousal springing free. I can’t help but stare directly at him.

  “Oh no, you don’t. You’re not distracting me. I’m serious, Lucca. I’m pissed off, and we need to talk about this,” I protest.

  Blatantly ignoring me, he pulls the covers back, climbs on top, and unties my robe.

  Sexy bull
y.

  My breasts are still cold from being wet, and my nipples pucker as soon as the air brushes against them. Groaning, he lifts my feet.

  “Would you be more relaxed if I do this?” He kneads the soles of my feet, and it feels like heaven. I begin to relax. Then he kisses the bottom of them, and I squirm and giggle. He continues his magical touch along the inside of my legs, stroking, pressing, and kissing. I’m done for.

  Folded.

  Crumbled.

  Melted.

  “We need to talk,” I stifle, infuriated my body is betraying me.

  “You talk, I will play, then we will talk together afterwards,” he says before his tongue caresses my pulsing sex. The only talking I can manage now is the letter O in the form of deep, sensual groaning.

  Completely sated and thoroughly exhausted, I stretch on top of Lucca at the bottom of the bed with my forehead against his, my sensitive breasts pressed against his quickened heartbeat and my legs languidly straddling him.

  He’s managed to do it again—relax me, bringing me back to rational focus. He runs his thumb and fingers down my back and over my ass, softly stroking my skin with his fingertips.

  “Are we in love again?” he asks, nibbling on my bottom lip.

  “Yes, I’m always in love with you, but I need to tell you how I feel, and you keep distracting me. I know how you feel about me, but I also know how she feels about you and I don’t think she can be trusted.” I’d welcome this distraction anytime because he makes me feel, but talking is a must or else I’m going to explode today.

  He rolls me over onto my back then leans on one arm at my side, placing his other hand on my navel. I take a huge breath. I need to be honest about my feelings or they will fester away at me.

  “I’m jealous. There I said it. I’m jealous of her.” I focus on something on the ceiling because I’m embarrassed by saying this and don’t want to look him right in the eyes.