A Bittersweet Hood Dilemma: A Naptown Love Story

by Natavia

  “Tassana, I swear I’m going to fuck you up,” I said to her. She gave me the finger. She picked up a brick smashing it through the passenger’s side window. My mouth dropped as she boldly fucked my truck up in broad daylight, and in my face.

  She leaned against my truck then crossed her arms.

  “Nigga, you want to fight? Let’s get to it. But you will not be disrespecting me. I don’t give a fuck if I’m your woman or not. As long as my address is your address, you will respect me,” she said.

  “I can’t believe this shit,” I said. I looked back and Mya was looking out of her window scared.

  “Get your ass over here, AQEL!” Tassana yelled causing a scene. People were looking at us shaking their head.

  “Niggas ain’t shit. Especially those fine yellow ones,” one girl said to the other when they walked past.

  I walked over to Tassana towering over her. “Yo, when we get home, I’m fucking you up,” I said to her. She snatched my keys from out of my hand.

  “Stay over this bitch’s house tonight,” she said running to her car. I caught up to her. I banged on the windows then started kicking her car door.

  “Bitch, give me my fucking keys. How am I supposed to get in the house?” I yelled kicking her car.

  “You are not supposed to,” she said to me. She started up her car then sped off. Now I was stuck in Mya’s hood.

  It took an hour for a cab to come. Mya told me I could wait inside of her crib, but I refused. I didn’t know if Tassana’s crazy ass was lurking around. After I paid the cab driver, I hopped out of the cab.

  “WHAT THE FUCK!” I shouted as my clothes were thrown across the yard. Tassana was in the window with a scarf tied around her head, sipping a glass of wine.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked her. She had my expensive clothes thrown out in the yard, pieces that I paid hundreds of dollars for. I picked up a pair of my Gucci shorts that were bleached. My eyes burned with anger.

  “I’m killing your ass,” I shouted.

  “Hold that thought nigga. I got a surprise for you,” she said leaving from out of the window. When she came back, she held up my Givenchy denim jeans that I paid over a thousand dollars for. She held a pair of scissors in her hand and started cutting up my pants.

  “Bitch, I’m killing your ass,” I said to her then she laughed. She dropped my jeans and scissors out of the window then gave me the finger.

  I took a step back then kick the door as hard as I could. I kicked it three more times and it flew open. I heard her running up the stairs. I ran after her, as she tried shutting the door in my face. I barged into her bedroom.

  “Bitch, you got me fucked up,” I said slapping her.

  “This what you want? You want me to put my fucking hands on you? I’m sick of your bullshit. What the fuck are you fucking up my shit for?” I asked her yelling in her face. The truck I wasn’t tripping about. We could fix that at the shop. But my clothes, oh, she took it to a whole other level.

  “Because you fucking hurt me!” she screamed with tears in her eyes.

  “I hate you, I fucking hate you,” she yelled punching me. I held her arms down as she broke down and cried.

  “Why are you treating me like this? Why? I have been good to you!” she screamed.

  “I can’t take this shit anymore. I can’t take it!” she yelled. She yanked away from me then started grabbing her clothes.

  “What are you doing?” I asked her.

  “You want me out of your life so bad? Fine!” she yelled. I never thought her words would sting a little. I had been angry that Tokyo was gone. I still missed her, but Tassana had been filling the small void.

  “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I asked out loud. I had never been this confused with Tassana. I didn’t want her, but then lately, she had been growing on me again. I tried to fight it, but it was something going on. I didn’t know what to do at this point. Some days she reminded me of Tokyo. Then some days she was her normal self. Then when I had sex with her raw, it felt different. It was even better than Tokyo’s and Tokyo’s pussy was the best I had ever been in.

  “Figure that shit out by yourself,” she said. I grabbed her arm.

  “Baby, wait,” I said to her. She yanked away from me.

  “If only you could feel how I felt when I walked in on you with a condom on. How could you? After all I have been doing to change my ways, how could you?” she asked.

  “It’s hard to explain,” I said to her.

  “Why do you keep going back to Mya?” Tassana asked me.

  “Mya isn’t a threat. If anything, it should be Tokyo,” I said to her.

  “When I ask about the ghetto bitch you get all swelled up like you want to fight my fucking ass,” she mushed me.

  She went downstairs and I followed behind her. She poured herself a shot of Henny then took a gulp out of the bottle.

  “Oh, don’t follow me now nigga. You have been nothing but mean to me. Nasty attitude and you put your fucking hands on me. Don’t try to kiss my ass now. Get the hell out of my face before I cut your ass!” she yelled throwing liquor on me.

  “I think you need to see a shrink,” I said to her and she laughed.

  “Naw, what I need to do is see other niggas, a nigga that can appreciate me Kauzie. Your ass can rot in hell,” she said taking another shot. She burped then grabbed her purse by the door.

  “Where your ass going at?” I asked pulling her back.

  “Away from your ass,” she said yanking away from me then walked out of the house. My life wasn’t as complicated until I slept with Tokyo. After that, shit just started spiraling out of control.

  Tokyo

  “He fucking cheated on me,” I cried to Kyree.

  “You mean he cheated on Tassana?” Kyree asked.

  “Bitch, would you shut up? You don’t know how I felt when I caught that nigga. I was supposed to keep my cool, but I couldn’t. That bitch ass nigga had the nerve to throw Mya up in my face,” I said. My phone rang. It was Kauzie calling for the fourth time.

  “How did you get in her house?” Kyree asked me.

  “I was knocking on the door, but they didn’t hear me, probably too busy fucking. So anyways, I turned the knob and it opened,” I replied. Kyree shook her head.

  “You are bold. Mya had every right to cut you up,” Kyree said. My phone started ringing again.

  “Now he is calling me. I’m sooooo pissed off because it’s Tassana he wants. I’m jealous that he wants her now even though it’s me. He thinks it’s her,” I spat.

  “Wasn’t that the plan?” she asked me.

  “I know but I love his ass. When I went to Mya’s house it wasn’t for Tassana. It was for me. I felt that shit,” I said. Kauzie called me again.

  “WHAT!” I spat into the phone.

  “Shorty, I swear stop fucking with me. Bring your ass home,” he said to me and I laughed.

  “Lick my ass bitch,” I yelled into the phone.

  “Oh, if you want me to do that in order for you to come home then you can stay your dirty ass wherever you are at,” his evil behind said. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t.

  “Tassana, stop playing with me. My test came back clean this time, but if I fuck you again and you give me something, I’m fucking you up,” he said.

  “What test?” I asked him.

  “The night we had sex raw I went to doctor the next day to get my dick checked out. The time before that when we did it raw, you had my piss looking like Jolly Rancher water,” he said.

  “Well, maybe I should get checked out too since you are screwing Mya,” I spat into the phone.

  “You saw my dick wrapped up. Only person I was banging raw was Tokyo,” he said. If I was really Tassana that would’ve been a low blow.

  “Bye, Kauzie,” I said hanging up. I turned my phone off, got comfortable on Kyree’s couch then dozed off. The liquor had caught up to me.

  Kyree woke me up the next morning. I had a slight hangover. I drove
to Kauzie’s house and when I got there, the yard was cleaned up and the door was fixed. He wasn’t home. I took a shower then got dressed and ready for work. Kyree had secretly gotten a nametag made with Tassana’s name on it. I kept mine in my locker at work and wore Tassana’s nametag home. I didn’t want it to backfire on me. I just pray Kauzie never popped up at my job. I hadn’t thought about how I would play it off when Tassana came back, unless she tells him she quit. But did that mean I needed to quit when she came back? This plan was getting too messy and it was driving me insane. I found myself forgetting who I was sometimes.

  I made sure my phone was on vibrate in case Tassana called me. She stated that she was going to try to come home sooner. She even asked me if I could pick her up when she was ready. I was more than happy to. I couldn’t wait to see her. At times, I was mad that she was going to come back, but then guilt would kick in.

  Kauzie called my phone again and I answered. I only answered fearing that he would come to my job.

  “WHAT!” I spat into the phone.

  “Damn, you still acting like a bitch, Tassana? Where are you? I need to talk to you,” he said.

  I smiled. “About what nigga?” I asked him.

  “Just call me up on your break,” he said hanging up. My stomach started turning. Then I felt the urge to throw up. What if Kauzie was giving up on me and wanted to settle with Tassana?

  “Stop it, Tokyo,” I said to myself out loud. This is what was supposed to happen. But I didn’t want it to happen. Now, I felt like a bad person for wanting to be happy with him as myself.

  Half past noon couldn’t come fast enough. I was anxious to see what was going on with Kauzie. I called him telling him to meet me at the Cheesecake Factory. I made sure I changed my nametag when I got my purse out of my locker.

  When I walked in, Kauzie was sitting down at the bar. He had small specs of paint on his shirt, but he still looked good. I sat down next to him then he smirked.

  “I got to get use to you working,” he said smiling. He ordered himself a Long Island ice tea while I had a glass of Moscato. Staying at their house had turned me into a wino. Tassana had wine everywhere. She wasn’t much of an alcohol drinker.

  “Cut the bullshit and tell me what you want?” I asked him looking at my watch, making like I was pressed for time.

  “You are not fooling nobody. You still want a nigga so stop acting like that. Besides, it ain’t like I still want you. I just feel bad that you saw me in action with another broad. I didn’t call you here to get with you so shut the fuck up and let me talk,” he said grilling me.

  I crossed my arms then grilled him back.

  “I was wondering if you wanted to go to Barbados with me next month. I don’t know the exact date yet, but I’m going to go visit my grandmother for a few weeks,” he said to me.

  “Why do you want me to go if you don’t want me?” I asked him.

  “Stop acting like you rode the short bus. Just because I’m asking doesn’t mean I want a relationship,” he said to me.

  “You want a relationship with Tokyo?” I asked him. My stomach felt queasy and my palms started sweating. I hope he doesn’t curse me out in front of all of these people. I know Kauzie and he would do it.

  He didn’t answer me for a few seconds like he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. But he never held back, so I knew it was coming.

  “Why do you ask me shit when you are not woman enough to accept the answer? When I do answer you, it turns into an argument. I’m trying to be peaceful with you,” he said to me.

  “I can handle the answer,” I said to him.

  “Yes, I want to be in a relationship with her. I want a family with her and all of that,” he said sadly.

  “You got some big fucking balls to tell me some shit like that,” I said playing it off. I wanted to smile then cry. Cry because he would never have that with me.

  “You want to go or not? I just want to be cordial that’s all. You fucked my shit up last night. I had to slap the hell out of you for that shit,” he said laughing.

  “What could I do for you to love me again?” I asked him.

  “Honestly nothing. I like you though; I’m not going to even front. I be checking you out,” he said rubbing on my ass. I started getting horny, so I slapped his hand away.

  “Let me hit that from the back,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Nigga, are you high? Didn’t you just tell me you want my sister, but now you want to fuck me?” I asked him.

  “Shit, Tassana, we are adults. You knew I wanted her the night you came into my room grinding on top of me. What’s the difference now?” he asked me.

  “When are you going to put your mouth on it?” I asked him.

  “NEVER. You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to stick my tongue in you,” he said smirking. My face dropped then he started laughing. He was dead serious about that answer.

  “I’m ready to start fucking other niggas,” I said giggling.

  “Go ahead. Just when you do it make sure you’re living in your own crib paying your own bills. I thought you were moving out anyway,” he said.

  “I’ll move out when I feel like it,” I snapped. After lunch, we walked out in the parking lot. I kissed his lips then hugged him. His strong arms wrapped around me tighter than normally. Kauzie lied about just liking Tassana. He loved her, too, and was just trying to fight it. He felt like he was betraying me. The only problem was that the feelings he was growing for Tassana was for me.

  I pushed him. “I’m still mad at you about that Mya bitch. Don’t think it’s over. I’m not coming home tonight,” I said to him.

  “Oh word?” he asked me shocked.

  “Yup, now have a nice day at work. I see you when I see you. And don’t call my phone neither. I’m sending your ass straight to voicemail. This is not a game. Thanks for lunch,” I said walking off. Kauzie grabbed me by the shirt shoving me against his truck.

  “Don’t fucking play with me, Tassana. You think I choked your ass out years back in my room at my mama’s house. Watch what happens if you call yourself being sneaky,” he said getting pissed. There it was his jealous side, the side he only had for me. I was slowly breaking him down. Kauzie was the type of man that you have to step out of character with to get a reaction from him.

  “Don’t put your hands on me. Last time I checked we were roommates, nigga,” I said walking off. He called my name, but I gave him the finger as I got into my car. Moments later, I pulled up to the hotel parking lot. I walked into the lobby and was greeted by Darrion. It looked like he was checking in.

  When he turned around, he walked straight into me and licked his lips.

  “Long time no see. Where have you been hiding at? You haven’t been returning my calls. Why is your phone off? You and that bitch ass nigga on cool terms I heard,” Darrion said.

  “Excuse me?” I asked him.

  “You fucking heard me, Tassana. Where has your hoe ass been? So you want to stop fucking with me because you and that nappy head Jamaican fucking back with each other? I heard all about you fucking his whip up in Mya’s hood,” Darrion said.

  “We were fucking?” I asked hurt.

  “Oh, bitch, you want to play me too, huh? You wasn’t in denial when I had my face all in your pussy. You wasn’t in denial when you dressed up like Tokyo and seduced me last year, tricked my ass into sleeping with your stanking ass. You ain’t shit bitch,” he whispered.

  I ran to the bathroom in the lobby and threw up my entire lunch. I started hyperventilating, as I kicked and banged on the stall. Tears ran down my face. All of this time she wanted me to feel guilty about sleeping with Kauzie when she slept with Darrion. I was in love with him then. I would’ve done anything for him then. I even caught a charge for him. He and my sister played me. No wonder she always talked badly about him. She was sleeping with him.

  They fucking played me. I looked down at my nametag and realized it still said Tassana. I snatched it off then threw it in the trashcan. I shoul
dn’t be surprised. She went after Kauzie after she found a sketch of his face in my diary with hearts around it, when we were younger. She knew I liked him first. She manipulated me. The part that hurts the most was Darrion was in love with her. I know him and the look he gave me was the same look he just gave me as Tassana. That was why he sounded hurt. He fell in love with the bitch.

  I told the manager on shift I needed to go home. She said I looked sick and for me to let them know when I was able to come back. I ran out into the parking lot back to Tassana’s car.

  I swerved in and out of traffic on my way to Kauzie’s house. Soon as I got in, I sat on the couch and cried. Why did I have to feel sorry for her? I always knew she was scandalous, but she played me. She was probably not even sick.

  That bitch might be somewhere lounging around, enjoying the good life, while I did all of her dirty work. I bet she was laughing at my ass. Even if she was sick, she had a damn affair with a man I ruined my life for. I was in love with Darrion at one point of time in my life. I went to the bar then grabbed Kauzie’s Henny.