A Bittersweet Hood Dilemma: A Naptown Love Story

by Natavia

  I thought about my life and how I didn’t have many people in it. My parents disowned me because of Darrion. My first crush ended up with my sister. My boyfriend slept with my sister. I hadn’t been around No Hands because he couldn’t stand Tassana. I always put everyone first and always get shitted on. I was just starting to get my life together at twenty-three. I was only two weeks away from my high school diploma.

  I couldn’t talk to Kauzie because I was someone else. If he found out that I’d been here the whole time, he would hate me. I was willing to sacrifice all of that for my sister and she’d been a bitter bitch this whole time. She made me feel guilty when the whole time she should’ve been, for screwing Darrion. I burst into sobs as I drank my sorrows away. I hated my life.

  One week later…

  I had been staying in my room at Kauzie’s house, ignoring him. He tried to talk to me, but I didn’t listen to him. I had been dragging myself at work and I was slowly slipping into depression. I hadn’t been eating and all I wanted to do was sleep. Kyree pulled me to the side and told me I needed to straighten up before I lose my job. She said the other managers were talking about me. I was glad she told me because I needed my job. It was all I had.

  At lunchtime, I tried eating some carrots with ranch dip, but it came back up.

  “Tokyo, you need to go to the doctor,” Kyree said to me as I wiped my face off in the bathroom.

  “Can you take me when I get off?” I asked her. I didn’t have energy to drive.

  “Let’s leave early. I can get someone else to cover for you,” Kyree said.

  I rode with Kyree in her car. I didn’t tell her about Tassana and Darrion. I didn’t want to hear her tell me she told me so. When I first told Kyree we were switching, she thought it was stupid.

  “What’s the matter, Tokyo? Talk to me,” Kyree said as tears fell from my eyes.

  “I told you this was going to hurt you and you were going to feel it more than any damn body. You should’ve told that bitch wait until her chemo was over to get her damn man back. That had nothing to do with you. I don’t give a damn if y’all fucked or not. She doesn’t even like your ass,” Kyree fussed swerving on the road. No wonder No Hands hated riding with her. I missed him so much, another reason why I was depressed.

  “Not now, Kyree,” I said wiping my eyes.

  “Look at you, Tokyo. You look fucking sick,” she said yelling.

  “Your damn weave is nappy, your damn clothes are wrinkled, and your nails are chipped. Your eyebrows need waxing. What did Kauzie do? Want me to fuck him up for you?” Kyree asked me.

  “Shut the fuck up bitch!” I yelled at her.

  “Oh, so now you want yell at me? I’m trying to be here for your ass. That’s your problem now. You mistake the people that don’t care about you with the ones that do. You had the nerve to yell at me? Bitch, you better call your fucking Oscar winning sister and curse her ass out,” Kyree said pulling up to the doctor’s office.

  When I got out of the car, I was dizzy. Maybe it was because I wasn’t eating and Kyree’s crazy driving. I fainted outside in the parking lot.

  Tassana

  I’d been calling Tokyo and haven’t got an answer. I hadn’t talked to her in a week. I’d been calling her for a whole week. I called Kai and she told me that she heard Tokyo hadn’t been staying home and Kauzie was looking for her. Well, that was good news. She must be doing something right if he was looking for her thinking she was me. Maybe they had a falling out and she turned her phone off being mad at him.

  I was over Lee’s house with Tudos. Tudos was smiling and laughing, talking shit like he was the king. I hadn’t heard from Osari and that was kind of a good thing. I hadn’t even slept with Tudos since the night I had sex with Osari. Tudos was a complete turnoff and his hand problem had gotten worse. I asked him how he could sell me for five hundred, and he slapped me. He said I should’ve appreciated the Hermes bag he bought me. He said he spent the last of his money trying to make it up to me. I didn’t even want the bag. All I wanted at this point was to go home.

  “Tassana, you want some more wine?” Ivanka asked me. Ivanka was Lee’s girlfriend. She was cute in the face and kind of tall. She was also slim and she kept her hair in short styles. Right now she is rocking a purple bob.

  “No thanks I’m fine,” I said getting up from the kitchen table as the men played pool. I went to the bathroom. When I came back out, Osari was walking into Lee’s house. His cologne filled my nostrils. His hair has grown out and it was curly, with his sides tapered. His mustache was trimmed to perfection. His black V-neck hugged his physique. His shorts fit him perfectly. The only jewelry he had on was a Rolex. It was more iced out than the last one and even bigger. He looked at me then grilled me. I rolled my eyes as I walked past him. He grabbed my arm then whispered in my ear.

  “Is that the way you treat a nigga who made you cum like that?” he asked me with his lips touching my ear. My clit thumped and flashbacks of him slamming his dick into me popped up in my head. I slightly moaned as I remembered him hitting spots that made my body burn with pleasure. I needed to stay away from Osari. I yanked my arm away from him.

  “Don’t fucking touch me,” I said to him and he chuckled. I noticed the small scar under his lip. I didn’t notice it last time, but it made him look even sexier and rugged. He was a pretty thug. As much as I wanted to be with a hardworking man, I couldn’t. Something about a thug did something to me. I’d been chasing that fantasy with Tudos but he wasn’t shit.

  Kauzie had way more heart than Tudos. The way Kauzie acted and carried himself, you would’ve thought he was the biggest dope supplier in Annapolis.

  “You sold your pussy for five-hundred dollars and now you don’t want me to touch you? Bitch, I ate dinners that cost more than that stale ass pussy. I was fucking nothing but air when I was in you,” he spat.

  “I hate you,” I said. He slipped his hand under my skirt roughly grabbing me between my legs. My floodgates betrayed me by opening up. He smirked.

  “You liked getting fucked by a young trill nigga didn’t you? Keep it one hunnit,” he said smirking. I pushed him into the wall then he chuckled.

  “That’s my bitch. Now, all I need to do is get you a collar and leash. Throw a bone at you then teach you some tricks,” he said laughing, walking into the kitchen. My eyes burned with tears because I hated him. I wanted to see his brains blown out, but then I wanted him to take me into the room and fuck me hard and rough.

  I walked into the kitchen and poured me some spiked lemonade in a cup. Lee was cooking around the back of the house on the grill. I really didn’t associate with these people. I liked Ivanka though. She was reserved and classy. I usually tried to keep it ladylike when I drank, but I needed to get tipsy.

  Osari was laid back rolling up a blunt. I stared at his lips as he licked the blunt. When he looked at me, I turned my head.

  “Ay Tudos, why does your bitch keep staring at me?” Osari asked putting me on blast.

  Everyone laughed and clowned Tudos. Ivanka shook her head. Tudos was a damn joke. Lee was his cousin so he thinks he gets special treatments. He should’ve stayed his ass in Annapolis. I rushed out of the house and Tudos followed behind me.

  “Bitch, what I tell you about disrespecting me, huh?” he said pulling my hair. He started swinging on me as I screamed.

  “Bitch, shut up, shut your ass up,” he said covering my mouth. He slammed my head into his truck window. I burst into tears.

  “Now, go the fuck back in the house, wash your face and sit your ass down at the table. If you look at that nigga again I will put a bullet between your eyes. You ain’t shit,” he said spitting in my face.

  I got up then walked into the house straight to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and my lips were bloody, and I had a bruised eyed. I got my makeup out of my bag and fixed my face. I brushed my hair down to cover my eye. I looked like I had never been touched.

  I sat down at the table as everyone joked around. Tudos
tried talking to Osari, but Osari brushed him off. I wanted to cry, but I held it in. This was my karma for treating people the way I had been.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you, Tassana?” Osari asked me out loud. I looked at Tudos and he grilled me.

  “Fuck is you looking at that nigga for? I asked you what’s up with you,” Osari said, as the room got quiet. Ivanka backed up and so did everyone else.

  “Nothing,” I spat.

  “Why do you have blood on your shirt?” Osari asked me. I looked at Tudos and his eyes pleaded with me to keep quiet.

  “I fell,” I lied.

  “I don’t like liars, Tassana. Now, if you don’t tell me what the fuck happened I’m going to kill this nigga right here,” Osari said pulling a gun out from the back of his shorts.

  “He hit me,” I said with my head down.

  “Why did he hit you, Tassana?” Osari asked me. He got crazier every time I saw him.

  “I was looking at you,” I said, and Osari laughed.

  “You want it again, don’t you? But don’t answer that. Walk outside and get in my car. I’ll be out there,” Osari said to me. I sat still, but the eyes that looked at me in the room begged me to get up and go.

  “I’ll bring her back to you in a few weeks my nigga. You got a problem?” Osari asked Tudos.

  “So you just going to take my girl?” Tudos asked getting a little courage. Osari put the gun back in shorts and punched Tudos in the face. I winced because it was loud and spit flew out of Tudos’ mouth.

  “Take your girl? Nigga, I can take your fucking life. I don’t like bitch ass niggas like you. Now, get the fuck up and go check up on my blocks. Fuck is wrong with you?” Osari yelled at him kicking him in his stomach. Tudos started coughing. I didn’t feel bad for him at all.

  I walked outside to Osari’s black Camaro, as he followed behind me. He unlocked the door then I got in. When he got in the car, he grilled me.

  “Don’t you ever let a nigga beat your ass like that again. You pick up something and bust that nigga upside his head,” Osari said shocking me. He seemed like the type that beat women.

  “Don’t you hit women?” I asked him.

  “I would slap the hell out of one, but her ass better knock my ass out with something if I do. However, beating on a woman like she is a nigga is straight up foul. Damn, you are weak. Do you not have any backbone? You let niggas take care of you just so they can dog you out. What can you do besides spreading your fucking legs?” Osari yelled at me. My eyes watered up.

  “You better not fucking cry either. You better not shed one fucking tear. If you do, I would make your ass walk,” he said to me.

  “You need to learn how to talk to women,” I said to him then he chuckled.

  “What woman have I ever disrespected?” he asked looking at me.

  “Me,” I gritted. He chuckled then shook his head. His phone rang then he answered it.

  “What’s up my nigga? Where the fuck you been at? Everything good down your way?” he asked the caller.

  “Come on, Dez, lil’ nigga, don’t play with me. When are you going to take that trip up here to see your big cuz?” Osari asked him. The name Dez sounded familiar, but I couldn’t think where I knew that name from.

  “I’ll be down that way next month. I miss my old city,” Osari chuckled. I looked at him as he talked to his cousin. His mean demeanor was gone. His handsome face smiled then he burst into laughter.

  “Boy you a fool. Damn, what them bitches looking like down there though? Phat asses, huh?” Osari asked. I sucked my teeth loudly.

  “What, you got a piece of steak or sumtin’ between your teeth? What are you trying to suck out? You need a tooth pick, floss or something?” he asked. I frowned up my nose at him.

  “Let me hit you back,” Osari hung up.

  “Where are you taking me?” I asked him.

  “Do you have another option where you can go?” Osari asked me. I rolled my eyes at him.

  We pulled up to Carrabba’s Italian Grill. Osari got out then stood outside of the car.

  “Get your ass out of the car,” he said. I looked down then noticed the blood specks on my yellow shirt. I took it off and ripped the tag off, before turning the shirt inside out. Osari lustfully eyed my breasts as I put my shirt back on. I got out of his car and walked into the restaurant.

  We were seated after five minutes. The waitress took our drink orders while we looked over the menu.

  “What are you eating?” he asked me.

  “I’m not hungry,” I said to him.

  “Thick as you are, you passing up a meal?” he asked me.

  “Are you calling me fat?” I asked him.

  “No, I can just see that you eat and don’t give a fuck about calories. I’m not knocking you,” he said, and I laughed for the first time in a long time.

  “What is it that you want, Osari? You don’t like me. You talk to me any kind of way. You are disrespectful; you dogged me, and made me feel dirty. Stop playing games and tell me what the fuck do you want. I’m sick of your sick games,” I said and he chuckled.

  “I want to fuck you again,” he responded and my heart dropped. I felt lower than low.

  “I’m not a prostitute,” I said to him.

  “Then what are you? Wanting niggas because they can buy you shit in exchange for sex is called selling pussy. Tudos sold you so that makes him your pimp. Now, if you got a better job description then enlighten me. Because in the hood where I’m from, you are considered a hoe,” he said.

  “Tudos was my man,” I said.

  “That’s not the story I was told. Your man is back at home, while you are here with his homeboy.

  “Judge me all you want to. You and your friends aren’t shit but thugs who will probably end up in jail or fucking dead,” I said.

  “But the life intrigues you. You will risk everything for it, to live it,” he said. The waitress came back with our drinks. Osari ordered my food and I just looked at him.

  “What makes you think I want to eat all of that?” I asked him.

  “Don’t tell me you are one of those thick girls that’s in denial about being a skinny bitch. Shit, you might weigh more than me,” he said and I rolled my eyes.

  “If you don’t like thick girls, why do you want to sleep with me?” I asked him. This boy needed some help.

  “I don’t discriminate, but it’s something about your hoe ass though. You are attractive in a way. I mean you cute, but you are not pretty. Well, then again you could be if you stopped rolling your eyes so much. You are really short and the way you dress, I’m not feeling it. I mean shorty, you really think you are a bad broad, but you ain’t. But with all of my disinterest in you, it’s something about you,” he said. My mouth dropped.

  “What the hell did he just tell me?” I asked myself.

  I didn’t say anything as I nursed my drink. I wanted to close my eyes then wake up and be back home. This was all a dream. I had never been so humiliated in my life. Once the food came, I sat and ate quietly.

  “What the fuck!” Osari said cutting his steak.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked him.

  “This fucking steak is bleeding like it’s giving birth,” Osari said getting mad.

  He called the waitress over, whose nametag read “Emily”. She looked to be in her mid-twenties. She rolled her eyes as she stomped to the table.

  Osari grilled her. “Take this back and tell them to cook it. Don’t no black folks eat bloody meat like this shit here,” Osari said.

  “Well you said pink center,” she said taking the plate.

  “I know what I said. But I for damn sho’ ain’t tell you to bring the motherfucker out here bleeding. Look at all of this blood running from it. Y’all just killed the cow then threw that shit on my plate,” he said to her. She rolled her eyes then walked back into the kitchen.

  “That bitch racist,” Osari said out loud.

  “How do you know?” I asked him.

  “You
need to pay attention to your surroundings. She treated everyone else fine. She smiled and all of that shit at the other people. Soon as she got to our table her mood changed and she felt uncomfortable,” Osari said. Emily came back then slammed his plate down on the table.

  “Is this fine sir?” she asked with an attitude.

  “Do you have to be so fucking rude? What the fuck is your problem?” I asked getting mad.

  “You people always give me a hard time. We bring your food out then you nibble on it. Then you complain about it not being right just so you can get a free meal,” she said.

  Osari rubbed his chin as he looked at Emily. He went into his pocket and pulled out a wad of money.

  “Every black face in here can get whatever they want. Bill that shit to me. It’s not an issue. Now, get your funky ass out of my face. Take that fucking steak back with you. I want a Henny on the rocks, but you better not bring that shit to me. I don’t want you touching none of my shit,” Osari said. Emily took the plate back then hurried to the kitchen.