TWICE UPON A TIME

by Jennifer Wagner

  "Come on in," he said, his eyes flitting over the three of them.

  He stepped back into the empty foyer and leaned against the open door. He wore an indigo knit pullover that stretched across his chest, and his jeans clung to his legs. Her glance strayed down, taking in his bare feet and was unwittingly aroused by the sight. Feet, she thought incredulously. She was excited by his feet! Rolling her eyes at her strange reactions to this man, she ushered her children inside and followed him into the den.

  "Please, sit down. Can I get you and the kids something to drink?"

  "No, thanks, we're fine," she answered in a breezy attempt at casualness.

  He sauntered over and sat on the opposite couch.

  "Go ahead, Rebecca," Anna said softly, urging her daughter to give him the Band-Aids.

  Instead, Rebecca looked at Gage with a frown crunching her eyebrows into a vee and pursing her tiny lips.

  "Are you a baffler, Mr. Moron?"

  Weren't these embarrassing out-of-the-mouths-of-babes, comments supposed to get easier to handle and less mortifying as they got older? Gage looked as if he'd been hit in the forehead with a two-by-four.

  "Rebecca," she began with a parental sigh. "His name is Mr. Moran, not 'moron" and asking if he's a bachelor isn't polite." She smiled at Gage but had a feeling the smile looked as strained as it felt.

  Rico found it difficult to keep from laughing when he heard Annabella's explanation. His daughter looked so serious. Who wanted to know if he was married? Annabella?

  "Anna, it's okay," he chuckled, not worrying about his dimples after checking in the mirror. They weren't as deep as they'd once been, and with his teeth capped, his whole smile looked different.

  Annabella looked relieved when he laughed, and he wanted badly to tell her how much he enjoyed their daughter. "Yes Rebecca, I am a bachelor. I don't have a—" the next word rang wrong "—a wife … or kids."

  Rico was treated to Rebecca's beaming smile once again. He vowed to somehow make sure it stayed there.

  "Mr. Mo-ran," she said haltingly, glancing at both adults and getting nods at her correct pronunciation. "These are for you."

  Overwhelming love rose up when he saw the box of Band Aids. For several seconds he stared down at it, trying to control his emotions.

  "Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you very much," he whispered, trying to get a handle on the emotions surging through him.

  Rebecca, having been raised around affectionate adults didn't hesitate to throw herself into Gage's arms. She was confident she would be caught.

  Rico's eyes closed as he hugged his daughter for the first time. This little child is mine, he thought, the idea still so new and fresh. Mine and Annabella's.

  Rebecca wiggled out of the embrace like a puppy held too long. "Okay, Rafe, your turn!" She hopped from foot to foot with the excitement over giving presents.

  Rafe levered himself off the couch with his legs, the brownies still held securely in his arms. He walked over to Gage and placed the plate in his hands.

  "These are from my grandma "cause you can't cook," he said quietly, his eyes waiting for Gage's reaction.

  He chuckled. "What is it?" Not really caring as long as he could talk to his son. He saw pieces of himself and Annabella in each of the children, but all of his brother's goodness shone in little Rafe.

  "Brow-knees," he replied, pronouncing each syllable so carefully, it came out as two different words.

  "Really?" Rico asked in disbelief, peeling off the shiny foil even as he asked. His mom's double-chocolate, chocolate-chip, marshmallow brownies? Oh, God, he was in heaven!

  A grin transformed Gage's face, his joy unchecked for a moment. Anna sat stunned, her breath lodged in her chest. The beauty of Gage's face in repose made you appreciate God's talents as a sculptor, but when he smiled, you saw the angels' involvement. He was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most beautiful man she'd ever seen, despite the few visible scars. Raw masculinity wrapped in gentleness with a dash of danger and mystery thrown in.

  It was a breathtaking combination.

  Then he turned from the children and pinned her with those fluid brown eyes. With an expression that reminded her of Rafe's little-boy charm, he held out a brownie to her. Only his eyes held a decidedly grown-male glint, daring her to play. "Want one?"

  Her heart shifted, and in a timeless second of perfect clarity, she knew nothing would ever be the same.

  Rico waited for any sign of recognition, but instead saw a woman's admiration and something totally mysterious. She wanted him. He knew that as surely as he breathed. The electricity between them was there, subdued by the children, but there just the same. If they were alone he'd have a hard time not touching her.

  With difficulty he refocused on his children. "Thank you, Rafe. Please tell your grandma for me that these are really cool!"

  Without realizing it, Rico hit on Rafe's favorite word and won his son's approval.

  Both males looked at each other before Rafe slowly took a step forward. How different they are, Rico thought curiously. He opened his arms and experienced again the miraculous feeling of holding his child in his arms. Rafe's arms wrapped trustingly around his neck, and when Rico went to let go of him, Rafe maneuvered himself so that he was sitting on Rico's right leg.

  Rico saw the withdrawal on Anna's face and wondered at the cause. Didn't she like him touching the children? His parental side could understand her concern in this day and age, but his ego rebelled at the thought.

  "Okay, kids," she said, rising to her feet. "It's time to go."

  "Oh, Mommm!"

  She stood firm, and he released his son. He didn't want to push and invite them to stay when he didn't have a reason to. The fact he'd seen them twice now was too good to ruin.

  He walked them out the front door, the kids yelling goodbye before tearing toward the lane, halting there to wait for their mother.

  "Anna," he said, stopping her with a hand on her arm, "thanks for bringing them over and for the presents," he told her, not knowing how or what to say to her, but not wanting her to leave yet.

  "The kids wanted to bring them over," she told him, keeping one eye on the kids.

  An awkward silence stretched between them.

  "Listen…"

  "Well…"

  Both spoke at once and relieved laughter followed.

  "You first," he said, smiling down at her.

  Ignoring what his closeness was doing to her senses, she began, "Mr. Moran…" At his look she changed to, "Gage, I realize a 'bachelor' isn't used to kids. Thanks for being so nice to them."

  "You have beautiful children. They take after their mother."

  Anna was shocked, wondering if the mascara and blush had that much of an effect on him. Long-ingrained instincts kicked in even as she backed away from the approval in his eyes. She gestured with her left hand. "Well, thank you. Their father helped."

  "You're married?"

  Seeing the absolute shock on Gage's face banished all Anna's thoughts except why it was there.

  "Gage," she said earnestly, laying her hand on his arm. "What's wrong?"

  Rico looked at her slim hand, resting so lightly on his forearm. Here he was acting like a crazy man, and she was concerned for him. He smiled inwardly. Still wanting to help and protect everyone, Annabella. Even strangers.

  "Nothing's wrong. I was surprised at you being married. I didn't see your husband the week I've been here, just the four of you." His excuse rang lame even to his ears, and he could see she wasn't buying it.

  "Oh. Well, the truth is, I'm a widow."

  Relief swept through Rico leaving him a little light-headed. A widow.

  "The children's father died?"

  Her face closed and she turned her face away. "Yes."

  The ring was either a protection for her or it meant she still loved Rico. Could she love him, the new man, the way she'd loved him before? Damn, even he was confused!

  "I'm sorry for your loss, Anna," he said in a hushed voi
ce. "I've got to go," she said hurriedly, the aura of intensity that surrounded him beginning to envelop her, its warmth giving her a disturbing sense of peace.

  He nodded. "Bye, Anna."

  She stared for a second longer, feeling herself pulled to him and fighting it for all it was worth. Last night she cried for Rico, and now she fought the urge to stay with this stranger.

  She jogged down to the lane and grasped a small hand in each of hers and didn't look back when the door slammed behind her.

  * * *

  For the next three days Anna did everything she could to avoid seeing and thinking of Gage. Rico was a constant in her mind and she held on to the good memories, holding them close.

  This was the first time in years she'd allowed herself to remember everything, every detail her mind had retained of their time together. Once she opened the floodgate, though, it was impossible to close. The memories haunted her, chasing her to her office where she worked long into the night. She wasn't sleeping, she wasn't eating and she wasn't any closer to the answers her heart was asking.

  And this desire she felt for Gage, it was as strong as the magnetic pull she'd once felt with Rico. Was her desire truly for him, or was her body responding to something similar in Gage, responding to the memory of a passion that had burned so brightly?

  The sleepless nights had produced weeks of work, even enabling her to finish the strip portraying the twins' stolen-mail adventure. She drew up the extra copy for Dana, scrawling Solomon across the mailbox, and decided to personalize two more, for the Hendersons and for Gage. Mounting them carefully on blue posterboard, she gave them to Lina, who said she'd be more than happy to take them around with the kids.

  Anna took this opportunity to commute into Spokane to drop off her work at the newspaper and pick up her check, instead of waiting for it to be mailed. As usual, the amount of money she made doing what she loved made pride surge through her. She'd worked hard to get out of poverty, with her cousin, Brooke, and Aunt Clare giving her a place to live and helping hands for a few months before she'd saved enough money to get an apartment. She'd be forever grateful to her aunt for not hesitating to offer her estranged niece a home and for giving everything her mother, Clare's much younger sister, had been too selfish to provide. As soon as she found out about Anna's pregnancy, her mother had packed her own meager belongings and left with a man she'd met in a bar, telling Anna she was trash, just like her father.

  She winced a bit, recalling her mother's harsh words, but shrugged it off. Her mother, her father, Rico. They'd all left her. But they'd taught her a very important lesson. When it came down to it, you could only count on yourself.

  Glancing at her watch, and seeing it was only noon, she picked up some flowers and dropped by Aunt Clare's to visit and catch up. Retired, her aunt spent much of her busy time volunteering at the local hospital and bragging about her niece "the successful cartoonist." She never knew that Anna had paid off the mortgage on Clare's home. Since her aunt would never have willingly allowed her to repay her, Anna and Brooke had come up with an idea and told her the bank made an error and she'd been overpaying her mortgage for years. It was the very least Anna felt she could do.

  She called Brooke at work from her aunt's and the two women met at an Italian restaurant in the city. She was waiting, sipping a Coke, when her cousin arrived.

  As usual, Brooke was impeccably dressed, so stunning that even women turned their heads as she walked by. Tall and willowy, her fiery hair confined in a French twist, green eyes expertly enhanced, Brooke's looks were model beautiful. But few people failed to look beyond the beauty to the shrewd intelligence in her eyes, a failure she took advantage of in the courtroom.

  The women hugged and exchanged small talk before settling into their chairs. After they ordered, Brooke pinned her with an attorney glare and said, "All right, give. What's going on in that complex brain of yours?"

  Anna attempted to look surprised at the question, but since Brooke knew her so well, it was a waste of time.

  "Is it my godchildren? Are they giving you the fits?"

  Anna shook her head, and Brooke tapped her straw against her glass, waiting for Anna to speak.

  "Is it Lina? Is she okay?"

  "Oh, yes! She's fine," Anna said, knowing she should just spill it out. "Oh, Brooke. I don't know what to do."

  Brooke looked alarmed, and Anna knew it was because of the dismay she couldn't completely hide. Brooke could probably count on one hand how many times she'd seen her upset enough to cry, and one of those times had been during labor.

  "I have a new neighbor," she finally said.

  Brooke inclined her head, urging her to explain.

  Anna took a deep breath. "He's … beautiful."

  A huge smile spread across her cousin's face. "You noticed a man! Holy cow, it's a miracle!"

  "Stop teasing. This isn't funny."

  "I can see that," she countered in amused concern. "Although I'm quite thrilled. You know I've been waiting for this to happen. I was afraid you were going to expect Rico's ghost to keep you warm until you were ninety."

  Anna shot her an exasperated look. "I don't want to be with anyone else, and I know I'll never feel that kind of love again. Besides, I don't want to risk the hurt. I have my children, Lina, a great job. They're enough. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

  Brooke took a sip of her drink, a frown creasing her otherwise smooth forehead. "I guess because I've never experienced the kind of love you felt for Rico. When you talk about him, it's like you were never whole unless you were with him. I've never cared for anyone that way, even the ones who stuck around." Her eyes widened and she said hurriedly, "Oh, Anna, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

  "I know you didn't. The truth hurts, right?" Ignoring the regret on her cousin's face, she propped her chin in her hand and squinted across the table. "You've never experienced love," she said, beginning a never-ending contention between the two, "because you run when a man gets too close." She continued when she saw Brooke's mouth open to object. "And I'm not talking physically, I mean emotionally."

  "Back to you, cousin. I can see that psychological white coat of yours being slipped on, and I don't need more analyzing of my love life. I know you don't approve," she said mockingly. "Anyway, we're not here to talk about me. We need to discuss this new neighbor. What's his name?"

  "Gage Moran."

  "What does he do?"

  Anna frowned. "I have no idea. He doesn't seem to keep normal working hours so maybe he's taking the summer off."

  "What does he look like?"

  "He's beautiful, despite the scars. Absolute, unbelievable male beauty."

  Brooke started choking on her iced tea. "Anna, you're in love with this guy!"

  "I am not!" she refuted hotly.

  "Well, you're at least halfway there. I've never seen you look so dreamy, not even when I introduced you to those Chippendale dancers. And they were gorgeous! For crying out loud, you shook their hands and smiled politely." She tipped her head to one side. "Or maybe you're just in lust."

  "Oh, Brooke," she said in disgust.

  "What's wrong with that? There's no rule saying you can't enjoy men. I'm not saying get married or anything. Why can't you have an affair with him? He's attracted to you, right?"

  Anna recalled the blaze of emotion in his eyes. "You could say that."

  "What's stopping you then?"

  Anna just looked at her.

  Brooke sighed. "He's dead, Anna. Rico's dead."

  She turned her head and looked out the window, watching the people and cars hurry back and forth. Life never stopped, even if you felt as though it did.

  "Not in my heart, Brooke. He's never seemed more alive than he does right now."

  * * *

  Chapter 3

  «^»

  Anna drove home, replaying the conversation in her mind. Brooke's advice to have an affair didn't turn her off as much as she let on, but she didn't think she could just make lo
ve with Gage and then casually return to her own bed. Also, making love while Lina and the kids were in the house was out of the question. And although she didn't want to incur Lina's disapproval of her, she realized this was her life and she couldn't keep living it to everyone else's expectations.

  That was one of her biggest regrets about Rico's death. Yes, they'd been very close, but there were so many parts of her he never knew, things she hadn't shared with him because she'd been busy being the girl he loved. It hadn't been intentional, but after Rico left for the army, all of their conversations centered around his life on base and the things he dreamed of doing with his life afterward. He'd included her in those dreams automatically and he'd been so excited that she never wanted to interrupt and tell him her dreams of writing and illustrating her own children's book or traveling to exotic places. Granted, she'd wanted nothing more than to become his wife and have his children, but she wanted to try other things, too. Things she'd try now that her work was successful and she had a substantial weekly paycheck to support her family. A paycheck she'd earned all by herself, without a husband or a father for her kids. I wonder, she mused for yet another time, what Rico would think about me now? He'd always viewed her as fragile. A wry chuckle burst from her as a realization hit her.

  "He never really knew me at all." The sound of her voice in the confines of the car shocked her as much as the words. But in a weird way the person who had known her better than anyone had never really seen her.

  Then another disturbing thought – where would she be now if he'd believed she'd been faithful? In Miami, fighting to raise the kids in a tiny apartment and dodging gang drive-bys on the way to the supermarket? Would she have created her comic strip Double Trouble or would she have been too busy being his wife, as she'd been so consumed being his girlfriend? Would they have been happy? Or would he have walked away later on or shown his mistrust in other ways?

  She raised a hand to rub her temple, her questions bringing up disturbing realizations. She drove down the lane and into her driveway. Getting out, she didn't hear giggles or voices from the backyard and there wasn't anyone inside. She stood in her kitchen, trying to figure out where they all could be. Then she glanced across to Gage's house. Lina and the children must be delivering the cartoons.