My Absolution

by Joz Maxel

  "Hey Corey, what's up?"

  "Nova's not with you, is she?"

  "I saw her in the NICU around ten, but I haven't seen her since."

  "Shit."

  "What's going on?"

  "I don't know. She's not here."

  "Did you try her cell?"

  "I've tried her cell. I called the house, where I'm at now, and her SUV isn't here. She left the hospital at one, and no one has heard from her since."

  "Well, she's gotta be around somewhere, Corey. Don't panic."

  "Too late." I end the call and decide to call Randall. I don't even wait for him to say hello before I start with the questions. "Have you heard from Nova?"

  "Corey? No, I haven't. Why?"

  I start pacing the living room, running my hand through my hair. "She's missing."

  "What? Are you sure?"

  "She got off shift at one. She was supposed to get Leni from school. I had to go pick her up and Nova's vehicle isn't here. I've tried her cell and the house a million times, left messages on both with no answer." I hear the background noise of the garage dull, then a door close. He must be going into his office.

  "Nova's never done this before?"

  "No, Randall! What the fuck, man? I'm always able to get a hold of her no matter what."

  His loud sigh is felt through the phone. "All right. I'll make some calls around here and make my way to you. Don't do anything stupid, Corey!"

  "Right. I'll just sit on my ass and wait for you."

  "Jesus Christ Cor—" Ending the call, I bite my lip, trying to think of where she could be. If she was in an accident, I would have heard something by now. The only option I keep coming up with is calling the cops. Well, one in particular.

  "Chief Watson here."

  "Rob, it's Corey Spencer."

  "Hey, Corey. Did you find Nova?"

  "I can't get a hold of her. Last place she was seen is leaving work. Do you think you..."

  "I'll head there now. What time did you say she was getting off shift?"

  "She left the hospital at one."

  "Okay, I'll take a look. What was she driving? What was she wearing?"

  I can't believe I'm answering these questions; this sounds too formal. "Ah, she was wearing her blue scrubs this morning and her black coat. She drives a black 2015 Chevy Tahoe." Nausea is starting to set in. I think I just made a missing person's report.

  "Okay, got it. I'll call you back once I find something."

  "Thanks, Rob." I throw my phone on the couch, put my hands on my knees and hang my head. A few minutes later, I make the call to the neighbour across the street to keep both girls for the evening. The mom, Stacey, is on her way here to grab Leni and take her back to her place, where Lola is currently wreaking havoc.

  "Daddy?"

  I look up to see Leni standing behind the couch with tears in her eyes. I walk over to her and kneel down to get eye level with her. I place my hands on either side of her neck so she'll keep her focus on me. "I need you to do something for me, okay?" She nods her head. " Stacey is on her way here to pick you up."

  One blink is all it takes for her tears to flow. "I wanna stay with you."

  Using my thumbs to try and wipe away the tears, I kiss her on each cheek and rest my forehead against hers. "I know, baby, but I need to concentrate on finding your mom. I need you to look after your sister for me, okay?"

  "But why do I have to leave?" I'm not sure what to say to that. I can't handle seeing my girls cry, it breaks my heart. But if shit goes down, I don't want my girls to witness it unfold. "Leni..."

  Stacey opens the door and sees me in front of Leni. "Hey, girl, you ready to go? I refuse to cook tonight, so us girls are going to McDonald's. Don't tell Mr.Heinz, he'll have a fit."

  Leni throws her arms around my neck and whispers, "I love you, Dad," before she turns to leave with Stacey.

  Dane

  I'm sitting on the hood of my car, in front of a rundown motel in the middle of nowhere, trying to figure out why the fuck Crash needed to meet me here. He sounded manic on the phone, so why the fuck I drove the hour to get here is anybody's guess. I walk up the two flights of stairs to get to the second floor and look for room two thirteen. It's at the end of the hall, curtains closed, but the lights are on and I see shadows moving about the room. I knock once and step back, in case I need to make a quick exit. The door opens and I'm greeted by Crash, who by the looks of it is either elated to see me, or is as high as a fucking kite.

  "Oh, man. You are gonna be so fucking stoked about this." He slaps my shoulder before he pulls me in and shuts the door. "I've been dying for you to get your ass here."

  I look over Crash's shoulder and see a guy doing lines off the corner table and another guy, who I know from years back, flipping through the TV channels, looking bored.

  "What the fuck you playing at, Crash? Why am I here?"

  He starts to laugh. "Are you kidding me? This is gonna fucking blow your mind, dude!"

  The guy from the table finishes his line, wipes the residue from his lip and rubs it over his teeth. "Just fucking tell him about the girl so we can get this over with already, fuck."

  My focus goes from table guy to Crash. "What girl?" And that's when I hear the faint sound of someone puking in the closed-off bathroom beside me. "Who's in there?"

  I put my hand on the knob to open the door. I look at Crash to see if he'll stop me, but all he's doing is bouncing on the balls of his feet, and grinning like a psycho. When I open the door, my fucking heart stops beating.

  In my sights is Nova, curled up to the toilet. Her hair is matted to her face, and her blue scrubs are dirty and torn along the bottom hem. I walk cautiously over to her and kneel down beside her. "God, Nova. What did they do to you?"

  Crash leans on the door frame and lights up a cigarette. "She's been in there since we got here. Don't know what the fuck is goin' on with her, but that shit is nasty." He slams the door shut.

  I start rubbing her back, but she pushes my hand off. "Don't!"

  "Nova, I swear to you, I had no idea about this. I don't even know what this is?"

  She wipes her mouth off with the back of her hand and sits up against the wall. "Kidnapping is what this is."

  "Are you hurt?"

  "No."

  I see a washcloth hanging by the sink, so I get up to rinse it out. I attempt to get close enough to wipe her face, but she smacks my hand away after she grabs the cloth. When she finishes wiping her face, it occurs to me that I've seen her like this before.

  "How long have you been sick?"

  "None of your business."

  "Nova, you forget I was with you..."

  Shaking her head, she takes in a deep breath. "All I wanted to do was finish my shift and go home to tell Corey. On my way out of the parking lot, I was grabbed from behind, and I recognized the smell instantly. Crash always had a distinct smell to him; cheap aftershave and smoke. I put up a fight with just him, but two more assholes grabbed my legs and brought me here, wherever here is."

  "I had no idea this was happening, you have to believe me. Crash called me, acting all manic and told me he had a surprise for me." I kneel down in front of her. "Please believe me, Nova. I would never do this to you. I have no idea what the fuck Crash was thinking, but I will get you out of here, I promise you."

  "How, Dane? They're all on something out there, and there's one of you. What are you gonna do?"

  I stand up and put my hand over my mouth, looking over the bathroom for something to use.

  Not a fucking thing.

  I look back over to Nova, who isn't looking too good. "I'll talk my way out, I'm good at that. Just stay here and I'll find out what's going on."

  "Where am I gonna go?" She leans over the toilet just in time to vomit.

  I open the door quietly to see if there's any way we can make it out the main door when table guy notices me. "You done fucking her already? I'm ready to go a round with her." He stands from the table, smoke hanging out of his m
outh, and starts undoing his belt.

  "I'm not fucking her while she's sick. Even I have higher standards than that." If I'm going to get us out of this, I have to go along with whatever fucked up game they're playing. Crash is sitting in the other chair at the table, staring at me. "This is what you called me here for? You kidnapped another man's girl?"

  He stands up and adjusts his cut, that's doing a piss poor job at concealing the gun under his arm. "You don't like my present? That's your girl in there, Amigo, don't you remember?" He turns to table guy and points in my direction. "This fuck was so cunt struck, he couldn't see what she was doing right in front of his pretty boy face." Table guy looks in my direction and chuckles. Balls, the guy channel surfing, remains oblivious to what's going on around him. "She was fucking his best friend right in plain sight, and this fucker was too dumb to see it. Well, I got her for you now, yet I get no thanks for my troubles?"

  I thought I could handle this calmly and orderly, but I'm right back to where my life was fifteen years ago, and I will not let him do this to me again. "You thought I would thank you for this?"

  He calmly starts coming toward me. "Yes, I did, Dane, 'cause once again you're too much of a pussy to go after her yourself. So I had to get my hands dirty, again."

  "What do you mean, again?"

  He's now standing toe-to-toe with me. "You never did figure it out, did you?" He looks over at the other two, who are smirking along with him, then back at me. "Well, young buck, I'll let you in on a little secret. Remember that night you thought you were the one who put Nova in the hospital? All you did was smack her a few times and choke her unconscious. In your drug haze, you forgot I was there so I finished the job for you."

  My head is spinning. My heart feels like it's pounding out of my chest, and all I can hear is ringing in my ears. Everything else fades to black, except the man standing in front of me. I don't even notice table guy going into the bathroom and pulling out an exhausted Nova by her arms. "What?"

  "The job needed to be done. I knew your pansy ass couldn't handle it so I finished it for you. Now, I think you owe me for putting myself out there to get you what is rightfully yours. I was gonna wait until she got home and have a little fun with her, but she was prime for the taking at the hospital, and Rick here thought we needed distance, so here we are."

  I grit my teeth. It's taking everything I have to not lose my shit right now. "Thank you for my gift. Now, let me take her home so I can do what I should have done years ago."

  "That was a sorry excuse for a thank you, and you're welcome, buddy. But, there's still payment left for me and my boys, so we were thinking we'd have some fun taking turns fucking her while you watch. I think that's fair, right, guys?"

  Table guy, Rick, pulls Nova closer to him as he replies, "That's a fucking awesome idea." Nova hangs her head and starts to cry.

  "She's pregnant. You're too fucked in the head to get it up, and I'm bored with all this shit." I start inching my way toward Nova, raising my hand to grab her arm. "Let her go, and we'll talk about this."

  Crash pulls out his gun and points it at my head. "This isn't a fucking negotiation, Dane!" His focus moves to Nova. "Congrats on the pregnancy, but I don't fucking care." His focus returns back to me. "All you ever do is talk, asshole. How about manning up and showing your girl here who the fucking man is!"

  I put my hands up in surrender. "She was never mine to have, Crash. Let her go back to Corey—"

  "Corey is a fucking dumbass! She belongs to you!" He presses the gun to my head, his finger vibrating on the trigger.

  Nova

  I look up and see the gun pointed at Dane's head, so I start to scream. Crash looks my way for a split second, and that's when Dane makes his move. He grabs the hand holding the gun and tackles Crash to the floor, football style. Two gunshots go off and I fall to the floor, covering my ears. Balls gets up from the bed, walks up behind Rick and shoots him execution style in the head, where he drops beside me. I look over to Crash struggling to get Dane off of him, blood beginning to pool on the floor around them both.

  "What the fuck..." Balls raises the gun, aims at Crash's head, and pulls the trigger.

  What the ever-loving fuck is going on?

  He lifts Dane off of Crash and turns him onto his back. Balls turns to me and gestures to me with the gun. "You're a nurse, right?" I just stare at him, wondering if he's going to shoot me next. "Your boy here needs your help." Not even thinking, I get on my hands and knees and crawl over to Dane. The front of his shirt is soaked in blood, making it hard to tell where he was hit. Lifting his shirt, I see one bullet hole in his chest, and one in his stomach. He's losing so much blood, I don't think I can help him. I run into the bathroom and grab all the towels I can find. As I try to slow the bleeding, I see Balls is just standing there, watching me.

  "Don't just stand there, call for help!"

  "Already did. He gonna live?"

  I look down and see Dane is looking at me like he's waiting for the answer. "Why did you kill them?"

  "Crash is—was an asshole, and I've had enough of his shit. Rick here," he kicks his leg, "was a fucking nut job. I have no time for violating women, pregnant ones at that."

  "Nova..." Dane starts coughing up blood.

  "Shh. Please, don't talk. Help is on the way, okay?" I use my blood-covered hand to rub the tears off my cheek.

  "I gotta go, cops will be here soon." He tucks the gun inside the front of his pants, takes a look around the room and walks out the door.

  Dane's coughing up more blood, but his eyes stay on me, in and out of focus. I hear the faint cries of sirens in the distance, so I get right into Dane's face so he can hear me clearly. "Help is almost here, Dane, stay with me."

  Corey

  This waiting around is fucking killing me. I'm sitting on the swing out on the front porch, my mind racing with all kinds of possibilities, none of which are good. Randall just saw the footage Rob found on the hospital security surveillance. I couldn't watch it again. My entire reason for breathing was being man handled by two men and thrown into the trunk of a fucking nothing sedan, and I was told to sit here and get my shit together.

  The only reason I haven't destroyed the house yet is because Grant brought Rourke back to the house ten minutes ago. Rob and his boys have put out an APB on the men and the car. Randall's been on the phone making calls to his boys a few hours away, and instead of taking care of his family, Grant is here taking care of us. Rourke and I have been sitting on this fucking swing since he got home. He feels just as useless as I do.

  "What if they don't find her?"

  I look over at Rourke, who has tears running down his cheeks. My eyes are starting to sting with my own at the thought of never seeing her, holding her, tasting her again. "Don't think like that, Rourke. We'll find her."

  Randall comes out on the porch, slamming the door shut. "Aussie just called. Balls called him on the road. Crash and Rick were the ones who grabbed Nova. He shot them both in the head and left them in some motel about seventy clicks west of here."

  Both Rourke and I stand up at the same time. "Where the fuck is Nova?"

  "I don't know yet. Balls called 911 for her and left, said something about a man dying." Randall shifts his focus to Rourke, then back at me.

  "Was she hurt? Did they hurt her?"

  "He didn't say. I got a few boys heading over there now. I'll know in a bit if she's still there."

  I fall back into the swing, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

  Please, God, let her be okay. I don't know if I can survive without her.

  "Who was the dying man?" Rourke keeps looking at Randall, waiting for the answer. "Grandpa, who was it?" Randall puts his hands on his hips and sighs, looking first at me, then at Rourke.

  "I don't—"

  "Stop treating me like a fucking kid! Was it my father?"

  I look at Randall, and watch his face fall somber. Fuck me, this is not happening. Rourke was getting to know Dane,
hanging out with him, enjoying their time together as any father and son should.

  Rourke runs his hands through his hair and takes a few steps back. I have no idea what to say to him.

  "This is fucking ridiculous!" Randall and Rourke's attention is now on me. " Why are we sitting here waiting when we can go look for her?"

  Grant comes running out, holding his keys. "Rob just called. They found her. She's on route to the hospital. Let's go, I'll drive."

  Nova

  The tears haven't stopped falling. My head feels like it's going to explode, and all I can think of is how am I going to tell Rourke Dane is dead? This has been a constant loop in my brain since I watched Dane fade away, bringing on a fresh wave of tears. The paramedics did a quick check when I told them I was pregnant, and they were confident everything was okay.

  "We're about one minute out, Mrs. Spencer. Sounds like they have the entire hospital on standby for you." The paramedic gives me a warm smile when she looks up from her paperwork. "Still feeling nauseous?"

  "I'm okay."

  "After you get checked out, they'll get you cleaned up."

  I raise my hands and see they are covered in dried blood—Dane's blood. I start to cry again when we pull into the emergency ambulance bay, not noticing as soon as I get wheeled into emergency, there's four men waiting on my arrival. I see Corey running up to me, followed by Rourke and Randall.

  Corey grabs my hand and walks with me while I get wheeled down the hall. "Oh my God, baby. Are you okay? Whose blood is this?" He's kissing every part of me he can get to.

  "Corey, give us a few minutes to check her over, then I'll come get you guys, okay?" Gloria is trying to reason with him, but he's trying to get her hands off him to get to me. "Corey!" Gloria stops in front of him while I get wheeled away.

  Settled into my private room, I eagerly wait for Gloria to finally let Corey in. It took Manny, Randall, and Grant to hold him back so I could get checked out. As much as I want to see my dad and my beautiful boy, I need to talk to Corey first and tell him what went down. There's a soft knock on the door before Gloria walks in, Corey following very close behind.