My Absolution

by Joz Maxel

  "Any issues again with you, Corey, and I will have your ass banned from this hospital, do you understand me?" Gloria is standing in front of him so he still can't get to me, yet.

  "Yes, Jesus. Can I touch my wife now?"

  Gloria turns to me and winks, then leaves the room. Corey eats up the space between us in record speed and starts kissing and touching me all over to make sure I'm okay.

  "Move over, baby, I need you by me." He settles into my side, wrapping himself around me. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

  "This is what I need, always what I need." Another wave of emotions hit me, and the tears start flowing. Corey keeps gently wiping the stream of tears off my face. "Dane's dead." I can't hold it in anymore as the sobs wrack my entire body. Corey holds me tight and lets me have my breakdown. I cry so hard, I start feeling the wave of nausea hit me, but with nothing left to give, all I'm doing is dry heaving. Corey bolts from the bed in search of a garbage can, locates it by the window, grabs it and holds it for me to use. After a few dry heaves, I manage to calm myself enough to start talking again.

  I take a sip of water and clear my throat. Corey is standing by the bed, still holding the garbage can, unsure if he can put it down. "Babe, I'm good now. You can put it down." He drops it and takes my hand, waiting for me to speak. "Crash took me—"

  "Shh, baby." Corey climbs on the bed, putting his other arm behind my neck. "There's time for you to tell me what happened. That Nazi nurse told me you weren't hurt, but I need to make sure you're okay."

  "I'm okay, they didn't hurt me." I bury my face in his neck and inhale his scent. He smells like home. "We need to tell Rourke—"

  "He knows."

  I sit up to look at Corey. "What?"

  "Randall found out. Rourke figured it out on his own." I put my hand over my mouth. "I talked to him while we waited for you to show up."

  "Mom, can I come in?" Rourke peeks his head around the door.

  Corey tries to move off the bed, but I grab his hand. "No, please stay. I need you here with me for this."

  "Okay."

  Rourke sits in front of me on the bed. I notice his eyes look red and tired, and his shoulders are curved in. He looks devastated. God, my heart is breaking for him. All I have to do is open my arms and he falls into me. I run my hand through his hair and kiss his head. "I'm so sorry, honey."

  Corey

  We buried Dane four days later in a private ceremony at the request of Rourke. The whole day was surreal for me. We had gone such different ways as we became men that I never got to make a connection with him as an adult. But seeing him in that casket, all I thought of was how I was burying a part of me I thought I lost a long time ago.

  Rourke fared better than Nova and I had expected. We've talked to him about everything that happened, and what Dane did for Nova. He accepts that, but like he says, it just sucks.

  Right now, I'm sitting on the porch swing with a very exhausted Nova snuggled into me, with a blanket draped over us both.

  "How's your head, babe?"

  "Why are you asking how my head is?"

  "You've been getting sick a lot. Maybe you have a concussion or something."

  She sits up and looks at me with a smirk on her face.

  "It's not funny. I saw the way they put you—"

  She puts her finger on my lips to shut me up. "With everything going on, I never told you."

  "Told me what? What the fuck, Nova? Why are you smiling?"

  Her smile grows to her eyes. "Honey, I'm pregnant, about fourteen weeks."

  I sit up straighter. "What?"

  "I found out that morning, then Dane happened, then..." She bows her head down, but I use my finger to tilt her eyes back up to me.

  "You're pregnant."

  She puts a hand over her blanket-covered belly, and I notice the tiny curve to her stomach. "Everything checked out perfect in the hospital. I have my first doctor's appointment next week, if you want to come."

  "You have my baby in there?"

  "Corey, we've been through this a couple times already. Why do you look so...amazed?"

  I put my hands on either side of her face and bring her closer. "Every time you tell me you're having my baby, I'm amazed." I crash my lips to hers. It's not an intense kiss, but a passionate one that is cut short.

  "Honey, I..." She covers her mouth with her hand, quickly throws the blanket off and runs into the house. I should follow her to make sure she's okay, but I just sit here, smiling.

  Epilogue

  Nova

  Ten Months Later

  I walk out of the diner carrying a bag full of breakfast burritos in one hand, and two coffees in the other. I make way past the parking lot, which is relatively empty, and stop to take in the sight before me. Corey is sitting at a picnic table, legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle, with a blue bundle laying on his chest.

  It's a beautiful sight.

  He was over the moon excited we were having a boy, but when the ultrasound tech went quiet, we didn't expect her to tell us we were having twins, two boys at that. He loves Rourke as if he were his own, I never doubted this, but when he looked into the eyes of his sons, he was overcome with emotion.

  Now, here I stand, eyes welling up, remembering how proud he was, when he tips his head back and sees me. My tearing up doesn't faze him anymore; I do it every time I look at him with our boys, so he offers me a smile and kisses the top of his son's head.

  "You know, I'm kind of jealous you picked such a nice view to share with just your sons." I sit down beside him and lean over to kiss my son's chubby cheek.

  "You wouldn't know about it, but you're the boys' food so I had to bring you." He winks and grabs a coffee. "I have my spot for the girls, too. Bet you didn't know that either, did you?"

  "No, I didn't. And where might that be?"

  "It's only for me and my daughters, babe. Sorry." He takes a sip of coffee and looks at me from the corner of his eye.

  I pull out a burrito and hold it in front of him, but move it out of reach so I can ask him a question. "How come everyone has a special spot with you and I don't?"

  He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I punch him in the arm. "Jerk." I shake my head and look at the occupied car seat in front of me. Magnus Simon is bundled in his punk rock skull blanket in black, and he's starting to stir. "Looks like someone else is getting hungry. How's Rune doing?"

  Corey looks down and moves the blanket to take a look at Rune, who's still sleeping. "He's good for now." Corey puts his coffee down beside him and puts Rune in his car seat, and takes Magnus out for me. "Hey, big guy. You ready to eat?" He nuzzles him in his neck. "Hey Nova?"

  Getting myself ready to breastfeed, I look up and see Corey's intense stare. "Yeah?"

  "I love our life. As chaotic as it is right now, I wouldn't change a thing."

  I smile at the only man that has owned every part of me. "I love you."

  He leans down toward me, cradling Magnus to him. "I love you, too," And he kisses me.

  THE END

  Acknowledgments

  It takes a village to raise a child.

  The same adage applies here.

  I couldn't and wouldn't have been able to do this without the love and support of so many.

  Carrie...you are not only my idol but you have set the bar for me to aspire to. You are such a treasured friend. Thank you for your gentle *rolling eyes* nudge into publishing this story. Your feedback and encouragement is so much more than you'll ever know. Love your face Rock Star!!

  Stacey...my biggest cheerleader. You are so invaluable to me. You give me your honesty, work out the kinks when I hit a wall and talked me off the ledge numerous times. And my kick ass teasers are greatly in part to you. Thanks for having my back, my Tinker Bell full of piss and vinegar.

  Kylie ...my "mother figure" in this indie book world and formatter for this and any other future published works of mayhem I create. I am so very honoured to have you as a true friend.


  Donna...you are truly amazing!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being in my corner and believing in me. You are such a gem!

  Callie...you gave me an outlet to write a scene I had playing in my head for months. Life is too short not to experience new adventures, so I did. And I give you full credit for this one!

  Sloane...your writing event gave me a safe place for help and encouragement to form the story I have today. "Just keep writing" was your constant mantra and that's what I did.

  Denise...you helped me, no questions asked. Thank you.

  Dana...the best damn editor in the West! Love your face, so glad we got pushed together!!

  Jen...thanks for being your sexy ass self and encouraging me and being my person. Love the shit out of you!

  Melinda and Twila...your excitement fed the drive to make the one scene I wrote into the story it is today. Thank you for never letting me give up.

  Pavan and Dawn...you gave me a simple design for the cover that I fall more in love with every time I see it!

  Logan...I fired questions at you, asked for your opinion, how you would react if this or that happened and you never hesitated to answer. Simple on your part, means a lot to me.

  Sassy Classy and Bad Assy Bitches...you ladies fucking rock!!! I am so honoured to be a part of such amazing talent and comradery.

  Valerie, Jessica, Noelle and everyone else who read my book through the writing process...thank you for taking a chance and reading the story I wasn't sure I was going to go anywhere with.

  And to all my readers who enjoyed the story and fell in love with the characters, thank you for taking a chance on me.