Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2)

by James, Monica

  “I did,” he answers quickly. “I plugged it into the wall to charge it for you, and then I showed you how to use it.”

  I stare at him likes he’s spoken to me in Russian. “You did?”

  “Yes, I did,” he smirks placing his hands on my shoulders to calm me down. “Why are you so upset?”

  I haven’t gone into detail about my relationship with Jasper, but Harper is finally aware of his existence, but that’s about it. He doesn’t know the extent of our relationship, nor will he ever. It’s something private and a fact I don’t want to share with my ex, especially because our breakup was partly over him.

  “I’m upset because I was expecting an important call,” I reply rubbing my temples, feeling a steady headache approaching.

  “Your new phone won’t affect that silly. I transferred all your contacts and your number has remained the same.” He smiles, placing a hand over mine to still my rubbing.

  “Oh.” I frown, suddenly feeling extremely disappointed.

  I lower my eyes and notice Harper holding a slim white envelope.

  Nudging towards it with my chin, I ask, “Is that for me?”

  Harper smiles and his bright blue eyes look over at the kitchen bench. “Yup. I was going to put it with the other mail you have accumulating.”

  Looking over his shoulder I gasp, as the pile is like a small Leaning Tower of Pisa! I need to get my shit together.

  He hands it to me, and I struggle to breathe when I see the writing on the front. I have memorized that left handed script.

  It’s from Jasper.

  Snatching it out of Harper’s hands, I stare at it like I’m hypnotized. I distantly hear him asking if I am okay, but I ignore him as I turn my back, ripping open the seal with shaky fingers.

  My eyes rake over his script, over and over again, and as I read his words, I fall to pieces. This is what he has been waiting all these months to tell me.

  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!

  “Ava, what’s wrong? You’re shaking.”

  I am aware of my hand trembling, but I can’t stop it. I violently push past Harper, in hopes there may be other letters from Jasper because this one surely can’t be real.

  Throwing letter after letter over my shoulders, my search is futile and reality kicks in.

  “Ava, babe? Are you okay?” Harper asks, but I can’t speak.

  I am broken.

  Closing my eyes, a tear slips down my cheek, and I cup the unsteady hand over my mouth, screaming into it silently. I stand this way minute upon minute, the feeling of complete hopelessness swallowing me whole.

  This final act has tipped me over the edge, and with nothing left to lose, I spin around quickly, peering into Harper’s eyes.

  “Yes.”

  Harper cocks an eyebrow. “Yes? What do you mean yes?”

  “Yes to your question.”

  That grabs his attention as he stands tall, angling his head to one side. “You’ll marry me?”

  “Yes,” I whisper, and a flood of tears escape me.

  I ignore the niggling feeling that he doesn’t look too surprised that I finally accepted.

  He lifts me off the ground, twirling me around in the air while expressing his happiness. He mistakes my tears for happy ones.

  As he is declaring his love for me, I can only think of one thing.

  Jasper’s parting words to me:

  Forget me, because I’ve forgotten you.

  Chapter 10

  Hopeless

  On the way back to the hotel I am lost in thought, as all I can see is Jasper’s hatred for me. It was evident on his face, and clear as day in his eyes. How did we go from being madly in love to this, this hatred? I know how, I just don't want to face the truth.

  With a hand braced on the doorknob, I take a deep reassuring breath before facing Harper. Putting on my best attempt of a smile, I open the door to see Harper on the phone. He is seated at the wooden desk, paperwork strewn everywhere.

  Tiptoeing over to his desk to give him a hug hello, he stops me by holding up two fingers, signalling he's busy. I should know by now, business before pleasure. So giving him a half smile, I stroll into the bathroom to freshen up.

  Stripping out of my clothes, I turn on the water to hot, and stepping under the massaging showerhead feels like heaven. The water spray is like tiny fingers kneading out my knots, and the scorching temperature is coloring my skin a tinge of pink. It feels good to be washing away the memories of tonight’s debacle.

  Seeing Jasper has brought up so many feelings, and I don't know if those feelings are of a good or bad nature. I would be a liar if I didn't confess, that seeing him look at me with such hatred didn't hurt. But what does that matter? I've made my choice, and that choice is marrying Harper. Why does that decision leave a sour taste in my mouth all of a sudden?

  “Darling?” I hear over the running water.

  I don't know how long I've been in the shower for, but judging by the steam room I've created, long enough. Fuzzily seeing Harper’s form through the mist, I wipe down the glass shower screen to get a better view of my fiancée.

  Dressed in his black tailored slacks and a white business shirt, which has the first two buttons unfastened, I can't deny he is an attractive man, but he’s not him. Ugh, I internally groan, barely ceasing from banging my head repeatedly against the glass screen. I hate standing here, naked in front of him all of a sudden, as I feel so exposed.

  “Hi Harper,” I reply as I attempt to cover my body from his predatory gaze by crossing my legs, and wrapping an arm around my breasts.

  He has seen me naked, but I feel somewhat shy being so exposed under these bright lights, illuminating all my lady parts.

  Harper lets out a small chuckle as he witnesses my discomfort. “I’ve seen you naked before.”

  “I know, I just... it’s just really bright in here and probably very unflattering.”

  Lathering up a crazy amount of Jasmine bodywash, I cover myself in a thick white soap, ensuring all my bits and pieces are covered from his sharp eyes.

  Harper only shakes his head in amusement as he says, “I have to pop out for an hour or so.”

  Before I have time to question him of his whereabouts, he adds, “I just wanted to ask how tonight went.”

  I quickly turn my back to wash off the soapsuds, and to hide my face from Harper’s insightful gaze.

  “It went fine.”

  “Did you get everything you needed sorted?”

  Biting my cheek because I don’t want to be having this conversation, I vaguely reply, “Yup, all good.”

  “How are the wedding preparations going?”

  Ducking my head under the water in attempts to muffle his interrogation is pointless, as I can still hear him prompting me for an answer.

  “Ava?”

  “Sorry, what? I didn't hear you.”

  My eyes are closed as I am applying shampoo into my hair, hoping Harper will let up with the twenty questions.

  “I asked how the wedding preparations are going.”

  Opening my eyes, I see him awaiting a response, so I reply, “Yeah, they are going well. You know V, little Miss Bossy, ordering everyone around. My dress is simply beautiful.”

  Harper folds his arms over his broad chest and raises an inquisitive brow. “Did you find out who you're to be partnered up with?”

  And that's the question I have been dreading.

  I quickly duck my head under the spray. “Sorry Harper, what did you say?” I yell, in hopes of fooling him.

  “Ava, don't be daft, it's very unbecoming.”

  I choose to ignore him in hopes he leaves me be.

  “Ava, I know you can hear me, but I am running late, so we will continue this conversation when your hearing isn't so selective. Don't wait up.”

  When the bathroom door shuts loudly, I let out the breath I was unintentionally holding in. I know it's unfair to evade Harper, but I need time to get my head around this whole situation, before I go te
lling my future husband I am to be partnered up with my ex-boyfriend. When did this situation get so fucked up? Stepping out of the shower, I dry myself off quickly, because all I want to do is crawl under the covers, and slip into a deep coma.

  As I dress in my cotton PJs, all but salivating at the comfy bed, I observe a note sitting on my pillow. I don’t like notes. Especially after the last one I received smashed my heart into a gazillion smithereens.

  I approach the note like it might detonate, and let out a relieved breath when I read it’s from Harper. Who else was I expecting? I don’t even validate that thought with a response.

  I love you Ms. Thompson, soon to be Mrs. Holden. Don’t forget lunch with our parents tomorrow to tell them the good news. Keep the bed warm for me.

  Yours,

  Harper xx

  Also sitting on my pillow is my favorite chocolate, a Hershey’s Cookies n Crème Candy bar. This is one of the reasons why I agreed to marry Harper; he could be incredibly sweet when he wanted to be. These rare, kind gestures, made up for him being a jerk. Well, most of the time it did.

  I ignore the stabbing in my chest as indigestion, not my inner self screaming I shouldn't be settling for anything but the best. I have what I deserve, I remind myself. And I have no one to blame but myself.

  *****

  “Ahhhhhh!”

  I discretely cover my ears because Felicia Holden is squealing over our BLT, as she’s just heard the news that her only son is getting married.

  “Oh give me a hug sweetheart,” she beams, elegantly holding out her Tiffany covered hands to Harper.

  Taking a long sip of my Moscato, I look around the snooty country club we are currently at, hoping I'm not in for the same PDA as Harper.

  Sadly I am.

  “Oh get over here my future daughter in law.”

  I grudgingly give her a half hug while being crushed into her bony frame.

  Felicia Holden is a fifty one year old woman, wishing she was twenty one. The wife of a plastic surgeon has its perks, judging by her reformed looks. I don't know all the technical names for the procedures she swore she never had, but I'm certain her non procedures are on an endless list.

  Her face is too smooth and stiff for a fifty one year old. But whenever questioned, she would answer she was blessed with her mother’s genes who looked fifty five, instead of eight five when she died. Her whole family aged gracefully apparently. But I've seen her family, and I dare say they were all too afraid of aging gracefully, hence the regular appearance alterations every time I saw them.

  I peer over at Harper’s dad who is chewing into his Wagyu beef burger.

  “Congratulations,” he says in between mouthfuls.

  I’ve always had a soft spot for Ronald Holden, who never judges his superficial wife. I think the reason for this is because he is secretly scared of the plastic queen. They met in high school, and have been together ever since. He puts up with her because he doesn't know any different. He has accepted his life, and now, so must I.

  “So, when is the wedding? I can get Simone onto the wedding preparations as soon as possible. Maybe a March wedding? The sooner the better I say, so you can start on giving me grandbabies.”

  Felicia grasps her manicured hands in front of her chest, staring off into the distance, envisioning the fairy-tale she has just painted, while I choke on the wine I just downed.

  I only agreed to come to this posh place because the food is divine, but getting grilled about future grandbabies is not worth the BLT!

  Harper looks over at me, giving me a reassuring smile as he senses my discomfort. Why is he being so attentive?

  “Mom, Ava and I have talked about having the wedding at your house.”

  I very unladylike splutter out my wine, coughing hysterically with tears in my eyes. There is the answer to my question.

  Is Harper on crack!? We most definitely never discussed anything of the sort, but as tears prick Felicia’s eyes, I nod with a fake smile plastered all over my face.

  “Oh Harper, my boy, we would be honored. Wouldn’t we Ronald?”

  Ronald nods. A man of few words. Or as they say, happy wife, happy life.

  “We must start the wedding planning now. I have so many ideas. I have been dreaming of this day ever since you were a little boy.”

  She grasps Harper’s hand over the pressed white tablecloth, and looks at her son lovingly. Anyone would think she was the blushing bride by the way she is rattling off wedding ideas.

  Looking out the huge glass windows overlooking the greens, I notice a blackbird soar into the sky. I longingly wish I too could fly away, fly away from the mess I've gotten myself into.

  *****

  “Over my dead body!” I peek over at my dad who has all but exploded.

  It's safe to say our parents reactions to the news over the wedding vary immensely.

  My mom looks like she's in shock, as her mouth is slightly agape.

  “Mom?” I question.

  After a moment of uncomfortable silence she asks, “Why Ava? Why would you marry him?”

  Lowering my eyes, I internally reply, because I fucked up with Jasper, and on impulse and rejection, agreed to marry Harper.

  But instead I settle for, “Because I love him.”

  “Oh don't be ridiculous!” my dad retorts. “Have you forgotten what he did to you?” He thumps his fist onto the table, resulting in the cutlery rattling loudly.

  No, of course I haven't. But neither will I ever forget what happened for me to get here.

  “He's changed dad.” I look at my dad with a beseeching look.

  “Oh yeah, I can see that he's changed,” he replies, looking at the seat next to me.

  I look over at the chair, the empty chair that Harper should be sitting in.

  “He wanted to be here dad, but he had a meeting with clients.” I am so making excuses for him right now.

  “So work is more important than telling his future in-laws about proposing to their daughter?” He rubs his crinkled forehead, and I hate that I have made him so upset. “What is it Ava? Is it because he comes from money?”

  “Paul!” My mother reprimands.

  I feel my cheeks heat, but I am not sure if it’s from anger or embarrassment.

  “Sorry honey. I just can't understand why a kind, humbled girl like yourself, would want to marry that corporate bloodsucker!”

  Pushing back my chair, I stand abruptly. “It's nice to know what you think of me. This was a bad idea.”

  Storming upstairs to my old room, I slump tummy first onto the bed and bury my head under the pillow. The familiar smells are comforting, which is something I am in desperate need of at the moment.

  There is a knock at my door.” Honey? Can I come in?”

  Throwing the pillow off my head, I roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling.

  “Sure,” I answer quietly.

  My mom apprehensively opens the door and quietly sits near me, while my eyes are still focused on the ceiling.

  “Honey, please forgive your father’s bad manners. He’s just in shock.”

  I turn my head to look at her. “What about you?”

  She brushes a lose tendril of brown hair that has slipped from her bun behind her ear. “Ava, this has come as a surprise to both your father and me. We were not even aware of you seeing Harper, let alone considering becoming his wife.”

  I nod, biting my lip, afraid of her next question.

  “What happened between Jasper and you?”

  Sitting up, I place my cheek against my knees, turning my face away from hers. “We broke up mom.”

  “Why honey?”

  The tears I have been holding onto since I returned begin falling, and my shoulders shake, betraying my grief.

  “Oh Ava. Ssh ssh come here.”

  My mom pulls me into her and I crumble into her lap. She brushes the hair off my forehead and strokes my tear stained cheek.

  “I don't know what's going on, but you can talk to me, you kno
w that.”

  I sob harder because I know I can’t talk to anyone about this. I’ve dug myself a hole and as each day passes, that hole keeps getting deeper and deeper.

  “Oh my baby girl, I'm so sorry you are hurting, but it'll work out honey. Life has a funny way of surprising us.”

  With my head in my mother’s lap, I pray to a higher power that I'm not in for anymore surprises.

  I’ve had enough to last me a lifetime.

  *****

  I came back downstairs after talking to my mother, and after much persuasion, convinced my dad not to castrate Harper. Now I am at The Mall, shopping for V and Lucas’ wedding gift.

  The talk with my parents today has really brought home the reality of what I agreed to. But I decide to not think about that, as I am on a mission to find the perfect wedding gift, for the perfect couple.

  I have gone into every shop and I mean every shop, even ones I never knew existed. And I have come up with zip.

  About to give up, I walk past a travel agent and I have a brilliant idea.

  V mentioned her and Lucas couldn't afford a honeymoon, because they had spent all their savings on the wedding. And that just doesn't sit right with me.

  So I walk into the agency, and do what any best friend does. I purchase the happy couple a trip to Hawaii.

  *****

  After spending most of my savings on a well spent gift, I walk out of the travel agency feeling elated. My decision to spoil my friends was a brilliant idea, and I know V and Lucas will be mad at me for spending so much money, but the tickets are non-refundable, so they have to suck it up and accept it.

  Turning the corner blindly as I am on a total high from my shopping spree, I nearly knock into the lady in front of me because holy fuck, Jasper is walking towards me!

  My palms begin to sweat as I observe him looking around The Mall, slightly confused. It appears he is searching for a particular store, as he has a white slip of paper in his hands with something scrawled on it. V has probably made him her personal wedding assistant, as he looks to be totally out of his league.