Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2)

by James, Monica

  As our eyes lock, I gnaw the inside of my cheek nervously because he has stopped in the middle of the mall, and is looking at me... angrily.

  I stop walking, and turn to see if he is giving serious stink eye to someone other than me. But sadly I am the one he is glaring at, as there is no one but a little old lady behind me, window browsing.

  I don't know what to do as I feel freakin’ awkward, so I give him a small wave.

  Jasper looks at me, well it seems like he is looking through me, as he totally disregards me and my wave, and turns his back on me, walking away.

  My mouth drops open. Did he just ignore me? I know he saw me, so I guess the answer to that would be a big fat yes! And to make matters worse, he couldn't even stand to walk past me, so he turned in the opposite direction and walked away.

  There are a thousand emotions running havoc inside of me, but there is one that stands out from the rest, and that is complete hopelessness.

  I am completely and hopelessly still in love with Jasper White.

  Chapter 11

  Fork You

  Walking up the stairs to V’s, I hear a hysterical scream and I rush inside without knocking, afraid she is being murdered, or quite possibly, she is the one doing the murdering.

  I finally see her, over the wedding clutter, sitting on the couch, her head between her legs, screaming. I frantically drop my bag by the door and run to her side, afraid something terrible has happened.

  “V. What's wrong?” I ask, lightly shaking her arm.

  When her screaming continues, I shake her harder. “Veronica Dolly Donovan, talk to me!”

  That gets her attention because I know she hates her middle name. Gradually her screams transform into tiny squeaks, then finally into heavy breathing.

  After a few minutes of catching her breath, she looks up at me with racoon eyes. “He cancelled,” she sniffs, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve.

  I plonk onto the seat, stunned. “Who cancelled?”

  As I inspect her dishevelled appearance, my heart drops and then I see red. “Oh my God! Lucas cancelled?! Mother of all that’s Holy! V, are you serious? I am going to murder that jackass!”

  V holds onto my arm as I leap up, ready for heads to roll.

  “No, don't stop me!” I snap, shrugging out of her grip to find Lucas, rip off his arms and beat him to death with them.

  “Ava, it's not Lucas who cancelled.” V looks at me with big sad eyes, biting her lip.

  My eyes widen in alarm and I take a deep breath. How could I have jumped to that conclusion? Lucas would never do that to my best friend.

  I only know of one person who would cancel, especially after the way he totally dissed me yesterday.

  “Jasper, “I whisper.

  “Jasper? Why the hell would Jasper cancel?”

  V suddenly understands my thoughts. ”Oh please Ava. This has nothing to do with you and Jasper behaving like fifth graders. I am sick to death of hearing you talk about one another. Stop talking about each other, and start talking to each other!”

  Her comment stuns me. Jasper has been talking about me? Has it been bad? Does he hate me as much as I think he does? A flicker of hope sparks inside of me. What if he misses me?

  I need to know.

  I am about to grill her, but she holds up a finger to silence me.

  “No. You are not going there right now. We can deal with Jasper and Ava the soap opera another day.”

  I playfully poke my tongue out at her. “Okay fine. How about you clarify what the hell you are talking about then.” I cross my arms over my chest and slump onto the couch next to her.

  Giving her my full attention, she throws her hands up in the air, emphasising her fury. “The caterers Ava-they cancelled on me! Like a week before the wedding. How can they do that? That's got to be illegal right?” She waits for confirmation, but I shake my head, because sadly this happens all the time.

  V looks at me, raising an impatient eyebrow. I scrunch up my nose, totally confused with her facial charades.

  “That's your reaction to all this? Did you not hear me? The caterers have cancelled, as in not attending, leaving me in the lurch- kaput!”

  Smiling at my friend, I pull at her side ponytail affectionately. “Are you forgetting who you are talking to? Your best friend and Maid of Honor have connections in the culinary world.”

  I may not be much help with other wedding planning, but food I can do, with my eyes closed.

  “Oh Ava!” V beams, throwing herself into my arms unexpectedly.

  The wind rushes out of my lungs as I hit the couch cushion on impact.

  I peel her off me, and am pleased to see my friend is in better spirits.

  “Which catering company were you using?” I ask, looking at the coffee table in front of us for any brochures she may have.

  But my search is futile, as actually finding anything in the mountain of bits and pieces she has piled high on the table, would be nothing short of a miracle.

  “High Class,” she replies, biting her black painted fingernails.

  As I make an unimpressed face, she punches me on the arm lightly.

  “How was I meant to know? My best friend was a zillion miles away, I couldn't ask you.”

  Rolling my eyes playfully, I tease, “V, we do live in a technology rich world.”

  “It's not the same.”

  I hold up my palms to stop her rant. “Leave it to me. I have a few friends that owe me a favour or two. Go sleep, or whatever brides do, and I'll take care of it.”

  “Are you sure? I can send Lucas to help you?”

  Only now do I realize how tired V looks, and I feel an overwhelming sense of remorse for not noticing sooner.

  “No I'm sure he's busy. It’s all under control,” I smile.

  “Thank you Ava. I don't know what I’d do without you.”

  V pulls out her ponytail and massages her temples, and I’m glad I can do this for her. God knows she has been there for me when I’ve needed her.

  “Right back at you,” I reply, kissing the top of her head.

  *****

  As soon as I get behind the wheel of my little beat up Honda, the happy memories of driving my car come flooding back. After the disaster of a day yesterday, it's nice to be myself and do something positive for once. I don't know how I expected my parents to react to the news of me marrying Harper. I don't even know how I should react. It's all so new.

  What aren’t new are the feelings Jasper still invokes in me. Even though he totally ignored me yesterday, and looked at me with serious stink eye, I am still the same blubbering mess I was when I first met him. Jasper White will always induce these feelings in me, and I am afraid of Harper’s reaction when he finally observes Jasper and I together. It will not be easy to hide when I am all but drooling all over my wedding partner.

  When I accepted Harper’s proposal, he thought his persistence had paid off, but little did he know I had accepted because I had given up on true love. If I couldn't have Jasper, then it didn't matter who I married, because they would never be him.

  I said yes to Harper because he wanted me, and after reading Jasper’s letter, I needed to be wanted. But to be frank, I settled for Harper because he was familiar, and there were no surprises with him. And after the surprise I received when reading Jasper’s letter, I could do without another for as long as I lived.

  So I have accepted that Harper can be an asshole, and he has accepted that I’m a little distant at times.

  I have reached my destination, and my life’s dilemmas have to be put on hold as I pull into the parking space marked, Fork You. I let out a tiny giggle as I read the name aloud, which always sounds funnier when pronounced.

  Fork You is owned by my favorite teacher and friend, Sally Spencer. She is the reason why I was offered the scholarship to Singapore, as she recommended me for the exchange program, and knew all the right people to make it happen. She is efficient, meticulous and reliable, and I know if anyone can make
this happen, it’s Sally.

  Hearing my Blackberry beep, indicating I have a new message, I search for it in my handbag, hating the obnoxious bulky device. I'm an iPhone girl, but Harper claims iPhone’s are second rate citizens compared to Blackberries.

  It was an argument not worth having.

  The message is from V again. She has been messaging the whole drive over here, asking a million and one questions. Fed up with her inquisition, I advised her to Google Fork You, and she not only loved the clever name, but loved what they had to offer in way of wedding menus. I was off the hook, or so I thought.

  A helper is on the way... Wait for them :)

  As I approach the tiny shop front, waiting for V’s helper, I peer at my reflection in the window which is shrouded by tiny white forks dancing around the glass. I adjust my black headband to stop the stubborn flyways from falling into my face.

  I know I look different from when I was last here, but today’s clothes are a little more me. I am in black capri denim, with red ballerina flats and a red lace camisole. My brown hair is slightly wavy from it being curled yesterday, and it sits loosely around my shoulders.

  Again my rock is missing from my ring finger, but I make up for it as I have on my plain silver Tiffany necklace and matching bracelet. I look like an older, more mature version of the old me. Do I like what I see? I hate I can't answer that with conviction.

  As I am smoothing out invisible wrinkles from my top, my skin tingles in reckless attentiveness, alerting me that someone is standing behind me. That someone has my tastebuds watering, and I have to do a double take at the reflection staring back at me in the shop window. Wheezing in a sharp breath, I spin around quickly to confirm my mind isn't playing tricks on me.

  I brace the glass behind me for support as I peer into his cerulean eyes.

  Damn V, she’s up to no good...again.

  *****

  “What are you doing here?” We both question one another at the same time.

  Jasper crosses his arms across his broad chest while I take a calming breath.

  “V told me Lucas was meeting me here, not you.”

  It hurts hearing him refer to me with such distaste, so my defences suddenly rear up. “Well as per usual V is up to no good.”

  “Yeah looks that way,” he replies, running a hand through his hair heatedly.

  I swear to God I will never tire from seeing that sight, and I dig my fingernails into my palms to stop myself from reaching out and fisting his tresses.

  There is an uncomfortable silence which stretches for too long, and I begin to feel uneasy. When we were together, there were never any uncomfortable silences between us, but now, I can’t seem to escape them. On the plus side, at least he hasn’t turned his back on me and walked away like he did yesterday.

  Throwing my hands up in defeat, I say, “Look, sorry to disappoint you, but we're both here for the same reason, so let’s put our differences aside for just an hour, and get this over with.”

  Jasper shakes his head quickly and recrosses his arms, while clenching his biceps with his hands. “I'm not going anywhere with you.”

  I am stunned. Does he hate me that much that he can't even bear to be in my presence for an hour? I am wounded beyond repair, and I can feel my throat about to close over.

  However I won’t let that happen. I’m here for my best friend, and I need to put mine and Jasper’s indifference on hold for now.

  Taking a deep breath, I mirror his defensive stance. “You know what, fine. I don't need you anyway. Stay out here and be an insufferable grump!”

  Turning on my heel, I forcefully pull open the door, leaving my heart and the love of my life on the sidewalk.

  The sweet smell of macaroons hits me instantly, and comforts me like food usually does when I’m depressed. Right about now, I could use a sticky chocolate creation to drown my melancholy in.

  “Wait.”

  Jasper stops my retreat by grabbing onto my upper arm lightly, and the skin underneath his fingertips is cartwheeling in excitement.

  Peering over my shoulder at him, I witness him take a visible breath, and as per usual he has an indecipherable look to him, but I can't miss the way his pupils have dilated.

  Biting my lip nervously, Jasper’s eyes lower to my mouth, and those cartwheels have turned into a full blown gymnastic routine!

  But I really need to pull myself together, before I push him up against the cake display window, and do unspeakable things to his face. And of course, that is behavior someone with a fiancée should not be doing.

  Shrugging out of his hold, he mistakes my action as anger and he sighs.

  “I'm sorry okay, that was rude of me. You're right. Just tell me what I have to do because I don't want to deal with the wrath of V, and God forbid I live up to being an insufferable grump,” he replies, his left dimple making an unexpected appearance.

  I gnaw the inside of my cheek in wanton need. How I've missed that dimple. How I’ve missed that dimple being on display because of me.

  Sadly my dimple ogling is interrupted when I hear a familiar voice. “Ava? Ava Thompson?”

  Spinning around quickly, I see Sally Spencer’s flour smudged face greet me with a huge grin.

  “Hi Sally,” I beam walking towards her, and giving her a friendly hug.

  “What in God’s green earth are you doing here? Last I checked you were in Singapore doing CIA proud.”

  Letting out a small giggle, I reply, “I still am. Well I hope I still am doing CIA proud. I'm back for my best friend’s wedding, and that’s what leads me here.”

  Sally arches an inquisitive brow, and I fill her in on all the details.

  “Of course Ava. It would be a pleasure. I will always make time for a friend of yours. Let me go out back and get the wedding menus.”

  Giving her a big smile, I tease, “Thanks. You don't know what a huge favor you’re doing me. My friend would kill me if I couldn't pull this off.”

  Sally chuckles, but I look at her genuinely. “No, I'm serious.”

  She wipes her hands on her apron, not quite understanding my dry humor. “Oh, well in that case, I better get right to it.” And she heads out back, leaving me alone with Jasper who understands my humor perfectly as I can hear his deep, throaty chuckle.

  Great.

  I can feel his eyes following me as I lean down while looking into the cake display window, because I need to do something, anything, to distract myself from being alone with him. Brushing my long hair to one side, and holding onto it to stop it from falling into my face, I am studying the intricate designs on the three tier wedding cakes, when I feel a warm puff of air slide along the length of my exposed neck.

  Instantly goose bumps spread over my arms and chest, and my heart begins beating uncontrollably. Closing my eyes and focusing on his deep woody scent and harsh breathing, it takes every ounce of willpower not to throw myself at him. Bracing one hand against the glass, my nose is inches away from the window, still continuing my charade of inspecting the cakes.

  But my eyes snap open and I gasp, totally stunned, when I feel him flush against my back. As he places his hand alongside mine on the glass window, I am totally embarrassing myself with my heavy breathing, but I can't help it.

  “Like what you see?” he huskily murmurs into my ear, my hair swaying with his breath.

  I gulp noisily, and attempt to find my voice. “Yes.”

  “Yeah, so do I,” he quickly replies.

  His chest pressed up to my body is setting me alight, and as he moves slightly, removing his hand from near mine, his sharp curves and contours slide up against my back.

  Subtly biting the back of my hand to stifle my moan, Jasper asks, “Everything okay Ava? Cat got your tongue?”

  Releasing my hand from being imprisoned between my teeth, I nod quickly, as I am afraid what my voice will sound like if I speak.

  Is he flirting with me? The sexual spark that was ever present when we first met is most definitely currently cha
rging the air. His actions are not those of someone who was looking at me with serious stink eye, ten minutes prior. I am so confused! What the hell is going on? And where the hell is Sally to save me from defiling her shopfloor?

  I should feel claustrophobic, being entrapped in this compromising position, but it’s quite the opposite. I feel empowered that Jasper is clearly flirting with me. I am internally combusting with his positive display of affection, but then his parting words replay in my head, and I stiffen up. He is certainly not behaving like someone who has forgotten me.

  Before I can analyze this train wreck further, Sally saves the day, hands filled with endless wedding objects.

  “Okay, sorry for the delay. My macaroons were not looking so macaroon like.”

  Both Jasper and I shift away from one another uncomfortably, afraid of being caught out by Sally. We're both facing her, looking incredibly guilty when she walks back into the foyer.

  Sally looks between the both of us with a puzzled look, and I break the silence a little too loudly by clapping my hands together.

  “So, let’s get this show on the road.”

  Sally nods, giving me a strange look, while I witness Jasper bite his lip, attempting to squash his obnoxious smile because he knows what he does to me.

  He knows that every fiber of my being still wants him.

  *****

  “You've done a perfect job Sally, thank you so much. I will call if bridezilla objects to our menu selection.”

  Sally lets out a chuckle. “Gee, I can't wait to meet the blushing bride.”

  I smile, but feel I need to defend V’s honor, as I am not painting a very nice picture of her.

  “She's great. Most of the time.”

  Jasper quietly laughs and I beam, thrilled to hear him chuckle because of me.

  “I’m just messing with you Sally. You'll love her.”

  After collecting all the samples I need to pass onto V, I bid Sally farewell and she promises to be in touch throughout the week.

  As I step outside, the cool breeze hits me in the face and I embrace it, well metaphorically as my hands are filled with wedding bits and pieces.