Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2)

by James, Monica

  He pulls back, and I see a hint of a smile tug at the corner of his luscious lips. V then storms back up the hill with Lucas and Jasper tailing behind.

  “Sorry about that Mark. Please continue,” she says smiling sweetly, like nothing happened.

  I can't help but bite back the smile that is about to break free, so I begin looking at the ground, in hopes of not laughing hysterically like a crazy person. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jasper looking at me curiously.

  “Okay everyone, now take your places.” Mark walks to the front of the rotunda where Jasper and Lucas join him.

  V and I walk towards the arch, waiting for Mark to cue us with the music.

  As we are waiting, I ask V, “What did you say to Jasper?”

  V shrugs nonchalantly. “I told him if he liked his manly parts being where they were, he would get his ass up that hill in ten seconds or he would be a eunuch.”

  I let out a loud snort, and the laugh I have been holding back, escapes me.

  V chuckles along with me.” I told you, don't fuck with the bride.”

  Nodding, I make a mental note to not anger V in anyway.

  After a couple minutes of us cackling away, a beautiful melody sounds across the night air, interrupting us, and as I look over at V, I notice she has a weird smile on her face.

  Before I have time to question her, Mark startles me by saying loudly over the microphone, “Okay Ava, it’s your turn to shine.”

  Taking a deep breath, I take my first step and walk down the red carpet.

  There are tiny candles lighting my pathway, which throw off a perfect amount of light, and the view is breathtaking. But what is really striking a chord with me is the music. It is a soft, almost haunting piece of music played on the piano, and for some unknown reason, it brings tears to my eyes. I have never heard anything so beautiful, and as I approach the end of my walk, I bravely take a peek at Jasper who seems to be searching my face. I dab at the corner of my eye where a lone tear has escaped, not wanting him to see me cry.

  The music fades as I stand opposite Jasper, and I notice he looks somewhat nervous.

  Another piece of music starts, and it's a modern version of the traditional wedding march. We all turn to look down the aisle, and watch V stroll down the walkway like the bride she was born to be. I look over at Lucas, who has watery eyes, and now I don’t feel so silly crying at a rehearsal.

  I can feel Jasper’s eyes on me, and it’s a little daunting him staring so openly, but I brush it off because this is all about V.

  Once V joins us, she throws herself into Lucas’ arms and kisses him. Mark lets out a surprised laugh, but I know my friend too well and not at all surprised by her PDA.

  After the doting couple pull apart, we get down to business.

  *****

  We run through the ceremony and Mark gives Jasper and I our cues.

  “Okay guys, when I pronounce these two lovebird’s man and wife, you two are to come over here,” he says, pointing to a white garden table off to the side, “and I will provide you with the documents you are to sign as witnesses.”

  I nod, seems simple enough. Jasper is silent, but also gives a nod of understanding.

  “Hey, nice piece of music by the way,” Mark says while looking at Jasper.

  Jasper nods his thanks and looks away, quickly avoiding my widened eyes.

  Glancing over at V for answers, and only receiving a cheeky wink in return, and I then suddenly piece together her strange behavior. Jasper wrote the piece of music I am to walk down the aisle to. The piece of music that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

  My eyes prick with approaching tears, and I know I need to make an exit before I embarrass myself.

  As Mark seems to be wrapping things up, I turn to V.

  “I need to leave.”

  Jasper snaps his head up, and his eyes rake over my face. This time however, I am the one who averts my eyes.

  V looks at me confused, but after a moment of reading my expression, she must understand why I need to make a swift exit.

  “Let me walk with you.”

  I nod, because I need answers.

  We are a few yards away when V asks, “Are you okay?”

  Shaking my head, I reply, “No.”

  We are walking briskly away from prying ears, and I am bursting to ask her about the music.

  “What's wrong honey? Well apart from the obvious.”

  Running a hand down my face, I am so damn frustrated and confused.

  “Did Jasper write that piece of music for me?”

  There, I asked it.

  V nods promptly.

  “But why? Why would he do something like that?” I ask, baffled.

  V looks at me, her eyebrow cocked. “Are you seriously asking me this?”

  “Yes,” I answer quickly, wringing my hands together.

  “Because he's in love with you Ava. He never stopped.”

  I shake my head from side to side. “No, no, no. Don't say that. It's not true.”

  I can’t accept what she is saying because I want so desperately for it to be true.

  “Yes it is,” V says, placing her hand on my forearm to stop me from taking another step.

  “Ask me where your cat is.”

  I scrunch up my face. “Huh?”

  “Ask me where your cat is,” she repeats.

  Okay, I'll play along.

  “Where's Oscar?”

  “Ask Jasper,” V says smugly.

  “No, I just asked you,” I reply after a minute of processing her statement.

  We reach my car, and V opens my door as I am having trouble walking after her comment about Oscar.

  “Does Jasper really have him? And if so, why?”

  “Those questions aren't going to answer themselves,” V smiles. “Ask him Ava, and do it soon.”

  Slumping into my seat, I stare at the steering wheel numbly.

  “Are you going to be okay?” she asks, as I must look like a coma patient.

  I shrug. “I really don't know. But I do know I need to get to the bottom of this, before I admit myself into a white padded room.”

  V steps back, slamming my door shut, while I fasten my seatbelt.

  “Wish me luck,” I smile through my open window at her.

  V scoffs. “You don't need it.”

  I hope she's right.

  *****

  Okay, totally feeling like a stalker right now, as I have been sitting outside Jasper’s house for about an hour. But I don't care. I will wait here for another ten hours, because I'm not leaving till I get some answers.

  Looks like waiting ten hours won’t be necessary as Jasper’s truck pulls into his driveway, his bright headlights blinding me. Shielding my hand over my eyes, I wait for him to get out of the truck, but he doesn't.

  He turns off the lights, but makes no attempt to exit his vehicle. Lowering my hand, I bravely look at him. He is leaning forward with both arms intertwined over the top of the steering wheel, observing me closely.

  I would usually shy away from such an intense gaze, but I don't this time, I match it.

  He runs a hand through his messy hair then down his face, and only then does he finally get out of his truck. I can't sit a moment longer, so I leap up off the porch, meeting him halfway.

  “Where is my cat?” I ask quickly, before I chicken out.

  “Hello to you too Ava,” he smirks as he stops to face me.

  “Just answer the question,” I snap, not in the mood for his cockiness.

  “He's inside.”

  My mouth drops open, and I take a small step backwards. “What? Why?”

  Jasper shrugs.

  “That doesn't answer my question.”

  Jasper reaches into his pocket to pull out his keys. “Goodnight Ava,” he says, dismissing me while walking off towards his front door.

  “Goodnight? I don't think so,” I reply, grabbing his arm to stop his retreat.

  He turns to look at me, his s
triking blue eyes illuminated by the streetlight.

  “Why did you write me such a beautiful piece of music?” I whisper, almost afraid of his reply.

  “You think it's beautiful?” he asks, and he seems surprised.

  I nod. “It's the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.”

  Jasper looks slightly taken aback by my forwardness. “Come inside,” he says after a few moments of silence.

  I hesitantly let go of him, hoping he won’t run off and leave me out here without answering my questions.

  He walks up his stairs and opens the door, but I don’t move, too afraid to find out the truth. With his hand braced on the frame, he turns and grins at my frozen stature.

  “Well, are you coming?”

  Nodding quickly as I came here for answers, I walk up the stairs promptly, but he stands in front of me, blocking me from entering the house. He leans his face into mine, and I let out a tiny gasp.

  “I like your dress,” he says, his warm breath bouncing off my cheeks.

  Totally forgetting what I'm wearing, I look down and remember I chose my blue sundress. I know he likes this dress because it is something I have worn before, and not some flashy new number like the ones he has seen me in recently.

  “Thanks,” I whisper, fiddling with the strap which has fallen off my shoulder.

  He smirks and takes a step back, allowing me to slip past him.

  As soon as I enter his house, so many memories come flooding back and I need to sit, so I do. I plonk onto the sofa and stare around the room, remembering all the moments shared with Jasper in here.

  “Do you want a drink?” he asks, throwing his keys onto the table.

  I shake my head, still gazing around the room.

  “Not much of a talker now are you?” he jokes while slipping off his black sweater, and tossing it onto the recliner.

  That snaps me out of my stupor.

  “Sorry, I'm just... thinking.”

  “Yeah, I can see that,” Jasper grins smugly, and leaves me to my gawking.

  A few moments later, he returns with a black fluff ball.

  Oscar.

  Leaping up off my seat, I run over to him.

  “Baby,” I coo. “Mama missed you.”

  Oscar looks at me, instantly recognizing my voice, and I melt when I see his little face. I reach forward to scratch him on the head, but he startles me when he lets out a small hiss.

  Jasper chuckles and the sound kicks me straight in the guts. “Looks like someone is mad at you.”

  I peer up at him and smile. “Join the queue buddy,” I mumble under my breath.

  Finally Oscar allows me to pat him, and is purring contentedly in Jasper’s arms.

  I gather up the courage to ask, “You didn't answer my question.”

  “Which one?” Jasper replies, quickly smirking.

  God damn, he is so hot. His tight navy t shirt is stretching across his chest, shaping out his collarbones and upper torso, but I won't let him distract me, as I need my questions answered.

  Deciding to get the easy one out of the way first, I ask, “Why do you have Oscar?”

  Jasper lowers his eyes and takes a deep breath, which does amazing things to his chest.

  Quit it Ava. Focus.

  “Because he's yours.”

  O-Kay. That was meant to be the easy question.

  “Oh,” I reply, because I have no idea how to respond to that.

  Jasper sighs. “I missed you Ava. And being close to something that belonged to you helped that ache go away.”

  I gulp. “Oh.”

  Jasper has that stupid smug look on his face again as he smirks, “For someone who was full of questions, you have gone awfully quiet all of a sudden.”

  That full of himself jerk!

  Okay, fine! He wants questions, watch me.

  “Why do you still have my cat? I mean after you left, I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me. Isn't having him here a constant reminder of me? And why did you write that piece of music for me? You could have just put your spin on a Beethoven number, but you wrote one especially for me, and it was so beautiful. What does it all mean, because your actions aren't those of someone who is meant to hate me? Because you hate me, right?”

  And I take a deep breath. There, I think I'm done.

  Jasper lowers Oscar who runs off into the kitchen.

  He frowns and shakes his head, his messy hair shading his eyes. “I don't hate you Ava.”

  “You don't?” I whisper, stunned.

  “No.”

  “But every time I see you, you're mad at me, or don't want to be around me,” I say, thinking back to our previous encounters.

  “I don't hate you,” he reiterates. “I hate how you make me feel.”

  “I don't understand,” I reply quietly.

  Jasper looks pained as he answers my question. “I want to hate you, but I can't. And I hate that you still have this effect over me. That's what I hate.”

  “Oh.”

  I don't know if I should be crying or celebrating.

  Jasper takes a step closer towards me, and I am so happy he isn’t walking away. “I wrote that piece of music for you because you inspired me to. I just sat at the piano, and it came spilling out of me.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I smile, wishing I could smash my lips to his to show him how much it meant to me.

  “Thank you,” he replies, reaching forward hesitantly, and brushing my hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering by my cheek. “It was written for a beautiful person.”

  I gasp, biting my trembling lip. “You still think I'm beautiful? Even after everything?”

  Jasper nods. “You'll always be beautiful to me.”

  I don't understand. I want to stomp my foot in protest. If he still feels this way, why did he tell me to forget him? My mouth is poised open, ready to ask him about his note, when the front door opens and in strolls a beauty queen.

  Harmony.

  Harmony is the female version of Jasper. They are both stunning and turn heads whenever they walk into a room. They look perfect together, as their flawless angular features rival any runway model.

  Harmony and Jasper met when her puppy was unwell, and Jasper cared for him at the shelter he works at. I knew Harmony wanted more with Jasper, but he was emotionally tied to me at the time. But now, he is not tied to me whatsoever.

  “Jasper?” she asks when she sees him touching me.

  He closes his eyes and lets out a tiny breath.

  “Hi Harmony,” he replies, dropping his hand by his side.

  I shyly peer over at her.

  “Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I thought we had plans.” She looks slightly annoyed, but more so confused.

  Jasper pinches the bridge of his nose. “We do.”

  I suddenly feel ill because by the way Harmony is looking at Jasper, I know something is going on between them. Not wanting to be the third wheel, I back away from Jasper and collect my bag.

  “I'll talk to you... um later.”

  “Ava, wait,” Jasper says, attempting to stop me, but I dodge him.

  “No. I really should go,” I mumble, racing out the door where my tears spill over my cheeks before I even reach my car.

  Jumping into my car, I sob hysterically and hit the steering wheel in anger and frustration. I'm frustrated at myself for letting Jasper go. I can't be mad at him for moving on, because I'm engaged for fuck’s sake. I have no one to blame but myself, and I sob harder at that thought.

  I am so conflicted with my feelings for Jasper, and I know it’s wrong to want him, and I know I should stop.

  But how can I stop something I so desperately want?

  Chapter 15

  I Just Died in Your Arms

  The only cure for a broken heart is pancakes. Harper as per usual came in late last night, and left early for work. But I seriously am not bothered by his lack of involvement because as each day passes without him, I am slowly forgetting I am here with him.
/>   Parking my car, I head into my favorite diner which serves the best pancakes known to mankind. The bell chimes above the door as I enter, and as usual, coffee and maple syrup assault my nostrils.

  Looking over at the booth Jasper and I usually sat at, I smile when I notice it’s free. Picking up a menu, I make my way over to it, totally oblivious to my surroundings. That is until I see a familiar head of tousled hair laughing happily, while sipping a cup of coffee.

  Jasper.

  Throwing myself into the booth and holding up the menu over my face, it’s only when I hear a throat clearing do I pull down the menu an inch, to see a waitress looking at me strangely.

  “Um Miss, everything okay?”

  “Ssshhh,” I whisper, not wanting to alert Jasper to my presence.

  “Okay. What can I get you then?” she asks, clearly puzzled by my odd behavior.

  “Just a chai soy latte thanks,” I say, just above a whisper, peering over her shoulder to ensure Jasper hasn’t seen me.

  “Anything to eat?”

  “No thank you.” The thought of eating anything ties a big knot in my stomach.

  She writes down my order and mumbles something about everyone being on drugs as she walks off.

  I am still peering over the edge of the menu, but lower it slightly so I can see who Jasper is sitting with.

  An older lady with long, dark brown hair, which is tied in a loose ponytail, sits across from Jasper, laughing at something he has said. When I see her eyes, her cerulean eyes, they give her away. She's his mom. His mom who he recently made amends with.

  She was a shitty parent who neglected Jasper as a child, and turned her back on him when his abusive father used him and his brother as his personal punching bags. Goes without saying, they had a rocky relationship, but Jasper has put the past behind him and has forgiven her.

  Jasper is smiling, looking genuinely happy with her, and she too looks like she is pleased to be laughing with her son over breakfast. I am glad Jasper could forgive her because we only have one mom, and even though she mistreated him when he needed her the most, everyone deserves a second chance.