Sleep No More (Sleeping In Heaven, Waking In Hell Book 2)

by Forever Redd

  “I didn’t say anything. Are you ok?”

  “Oh, yea. I’m fine,” I said, wiping the accumulating sweat from my forehead. “I’m here to pick up my wife, she just had twins.”

  “Well congrats Buddy! Kids are amazing, I tell ya,” the stranger said as we entered the elevator.

  I got off on the maternity floor and gave a head nod to the man I know I heard talking. I went to the waiting room. I didn’t know how to face her. I didn’t know what to say.

  She gon’ leave yo punk ass. You better man up and let that bitch know who wear the pants up in this muthafucka.

  I looked around for the face behind the voice but came up short. I shook my head to clear my mind, I was really trippin’. I got up and walked down the hall to Victoria’s room, took a deep breath, and started inside. I stopped short when I heard her talking. Praying. She was praying.

  4

  Victoria

  “Heavenly Father, I come to you on bended knee, as humble as I know how. Thank you God for the little miracles that you have given me. Thank you for our health and our strength. Lord, I don’t know what is going on in my marriage, but I need help. I need help nurturing this foundation. Help me to be the woman Jody wants in his life. Help me to be the mother my children need. Help me to be the person you would have me be. Guide my feet, Lord. Amen.”

  There was always something about a talk with the man upstairs that left me optimistic. I could always see things more clearly, prayer would always shed a new light in my life. In my prayer, I asked for help being everything but myself. What about the person I was, the things I liked? Did that even matter anymore? The day I said I do, it became us, and the day I gave birth, it became them, so who was I? My entire world had been consumed with him ever since the day we met. How generous of me to give my all to the selfish bastard that only gave me bullshit in return. My mind was so cluttered, but the heavy breathing near the door cleared me up real quick.

  Jody walked into the room, just as I stood from my seated position on the bed. No words were exchanged, but he took in the look of sadness that rested on my face. He felt the pain he had inflicted. It was as though it was a shot to my chest. One shot, one kill. He murdered me. He watched me take my last breath. He wasn’t even remorseful at the time he took my life. He simply pulled the selfish trigger and unloaded a hollow point of “fuckery” dead center of my heart. Bullseye.

  I looked into Jody’s eyes. I saw his fear. I heard his cry. I could see the resentment peeping through the windows of his soul. Jody looked distant, he looked different. There was something going on with this look. I felt like he needed me, he was lost. I had to bring my baby back home. I went to him and those few feet between us seemed like miles. I was thinking, so close yet so far away. I crossed those few feet at a rapid pace and collapsed in his arms. I needed him then more than ever. I needed him to be the man I married. Strong, courageous, and respectful. I needed him to be my husband, gentle, caring, and kind. I needed him to be a father, playful, stern, and protective. My world was depending on him to be everything I needed.

  I don’t know how long we stood there feeding off each other’s heartbeat because time seemed to have stood still. I backed up slightly and looked up at Jody. He had his eyes shut and tears stained his face. I knew he was crying. I felt the tiny droplets of water as they dripped from his eyes and onto the top of my head. I knew Jody was in pain, he was fucked up behind his shit just as much as I was. How could I not forgive him, how could I not give him another chance? I had to. My spirit said it and I felt like I had to listen.

  Jody kept his eyes closed as he spoke, “Ya know, Ma…”

  I cut him off by placing my finger to his lips, “Don’t. I don’t wanna hear I’m sorry, it was a mistake. I know you’re sorry and I know it was a mistake. This is the one pass you get. I don’t ever, ever wanna be put in the position to have to choose my happiness over yours. If I do, I assure you, you won’t be so happy no more. I’m gon’ ride with you, Jody. That’s the choice I choose to make, but please don’t make a fool of me anymore. This is a choice, Jody, not an obligation.”

  That being said, I kissed him on the cheek and told him that I loved him. I didn’t want to hear anything else about any of this shit. I looked back on the message my grandma gave me and thought, I guess in order to move on to better days, you might have to turn a blind eye or a deaf ear. Not that I agreed with the theory, but everybody had some sort of problem, or something they have swept under the rug for the person that they love. Marriage was til death do us part. I was going to stand by mine and hopefully the death wasn’t murder, because if we travelled this road again, Jody might have to die.

  Nurse Ethel, the lady I had grown to love, came to get the twins to be dressed and take the hospital photos. When Nurse Ethel saw Jody, she grabbed him and took him in her meaty, little arms.

  “These are my babies you comin’ in here takin’, Chile. I have talked with your wife, fed and diapered these lil ones here. Now, I have adopted them, and they gon’ call me Grandma. You can too if you would like, Jody! I have heard so much about you. I feel like I know you, just like I know these youngins here. Take care of em. Victoria needs a husband and Sincere and Serenity need they daddy. Now gimme some sugah, baby.”

  After she gave Jody what I hoped to be a life lesson, the deal was sealed with a kiss on the cheek. Nurse Ethel was so loving. She was an amazing woman through and through. Her two children were grown and spread out from coast to coast. She had a son in Georgia, at an army base and a daughter somewhere in California, in medical school, studying sports medicine. Although Georgia wasn’t far from here, her son’s schedule prevented too many trips. Cali would be too much for the little old lady to bear alone. She had some spunk left to her, but age was starting to take its toll. Jody gave the lady a kiss on the cheek and smiled.

  “I know how lucky I am to have them Nurse Ethel, that’s why I am going to make their every dream come true. My babies ain’t gon’ want for nuttin’, all three of em.” Jody winked my way, but I continued to dress Sincere. Seeing was believing, so that shit he was speaking, went in one ear and right out the other. My OB entered the room and gave us a clean bill of health. We were being released and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I told Jody not to worry about the hospital photos, we could take some later. I just wanted to go home.

  Fully dressed in some yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt, I was placed in a wheelchair to be escorted to the elevator. I had Serenity in my right arm, dressed in a pink and white pair of knickers, sweater and beanie to match, while Sincere was dressed the exact same, only in blue. Jody somehow found the time to go grab the matching outfits since the first ones packed were blue and green. It was going to be exciting, making Serenity my little mini me and Sincere would be a little Jody. Did I want my little boy growing up to be a little Jody? I concluded, we would just have to see how his transition went. Jody grabbed my bags, and all the stuff the hospital gives, from receiving blankets to diapers to formula, and we were on our way to the elevator. Nurse Ethel pushed me out and Jody went to bring the car around to the entrance.

  “Baby, you got all of my information, call me, come by, whatever your heart desires. Just keep in touch with an ol’ lady,” Nurse Ethel told me while Jody was out of ear shot. “You know I will, Nurse Ethel. I can’t… no, we can’t thank you enough for all of your help and the love you gave us while we were here. I will keep in touch and come to visit. Since I don’t know how we are going to work things out, as far as my job goes, I will have plenty of time to come sit for a spell.” The nurse leaned in for a motherly hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  “I see so much of me in you, Baby, and one day we will sit down, and I will tell you all that I see. I will share with you quite a bit, but now isn’t the time. You gone and get well and remember, don’t wash no hair, stay bundled up, and don’t do nuttin for six weeks,” Nurse Ethel told me in a parenting manner. I had heard all the stories before, but I wouldn’t dare let the lil lady k
now I knew that already and her advice wasn’t needed. I did however, want to know what she was gon’ say about her past, my future, or whatever. I was a firm believer in people coming into your life for a reason. I was anxious and excited to find out what hers was.

  ************

  Karley

  Leon and I were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. We were trying to make sure this and that had been taken care of and we had really outdone ourselves. The house was white glove inspection ready and dinner was on the stove. Pot roast, baby red potatoes and carrots, a fresh green salad, corn on the cob, and yeast rolls. For dessert, I had gone to a local bakery downtown and ordered a carrot cake, sine that was Victoria’s favorite. The table had been set, dinner was warming, and our work had been done. I was glad I remembered the bedding she liked because that other stuff had to go. Leon interrupted my thoughts when he grabbed me from behind and wrapped his loving arms around my waist.

  “We always bailing Jody out. It ends today, Okay, baby?” Leon said.

  I just nodded my head to cosign what Leon had just mentioned. I too was tired of Jody and his shenanigans, and I was happy Leon was cutting him off, finally. I had wanted Jody gone for a while, and with Leon putting his foot down, it made my day. I nestled closer to Leon just as he placed his hands on my tummy.

  “One day, baby, we gon’ have a lil’ one rippin’ and runnin’ too. You gon’ get fat, boo. I can’t wait ‘til that happens. Can you?”

  “What if I told you we could have that now?”

  A huge smile spread across Leon’s face. “Are you saying…”

  I smiled and nodded my head. Leon grabbed me and planted kisses all over my face, neck, and shoulders. He was so excited. He could now be a daddy, too, and do all the fatherly things he didn’t have when he was coming up. His imagination was running wild at all the possibilities and I could practically see the wheels turning.

  “What you think about that? You gon’ be a daddy, Leon. We gon’ be parents.”

  “I think that I couldn’t have chosen a better mother for my children. You are everything to me, Karley, and I am honored to have you carry my see. I love you, baby. Come on, let’s get outta here before they get home.”

  “But I wanna see the babies,” I pouted.

  “And you will, just let them get home and at least get their stuff unpacked.”

  “Fine, come on, let’s go.”

  ************

  Jody

  “Did you need to stop anywhere, Ma?” I asked while driving the speed limit. I wouldn’t dare run the risk of an accident and inuring our precious cargo.

  “No. I have enough of being anywhere other than my own house. Let’s just go home.”

  I removed my hand from the steering wheel and gently squeezed Victoria’s hand. “Anything you say, Ma, anything you say.”

  I drove us straight home as requested. I was gon’ do right by this woman, one way or another. At least I hoped I would, or could.

  Just as she made it to the front door, the aroma of Karley’s cooking hit her. I knew the smell of her roast anywhere, and if I could smell it, I knew she could too. Victoria looked back at me with the carriers in my hands and smiled that loving smile that said thank you so much.

  I knew she didn’t have it in her to cook or anything else for that matter, and I wasn’t a cook, by far. Somebody had to feed us, so who better than Karley. Victoria quickly turned the knob to allow us entry out of the cool brisk wind and we stepped inside to a totally clean living room. Not a single thing was out of place. Victoria followed the scent of deliciousness toward the kitchen to peek in the pots that were still extremely warm to the touch. She was removing the lid on the shiny pot to sneak a sample when I caught her. “Aye, Ma, real quick come’ere, I wanna show you sum.”

  She took the hand that I extended to her and allowed me to lead the way. I led her down the short hallway and to the second door on the left, the nursery. We stood in front of the closed door, and I told my wife, Ma, I fucked up, and before you tell me to hush, I gotta say this.”

  She gave me a slight head nod and waited for me to proceed.

  I fucked up big time, and I know I’m wrong, but I’ma spend erryday making it up to you. When I open this door, we walk into our future. There ain’t no turnin’ back. We goin’ in this room as parents. We made babies by ourselves, we raise ‘em by ourselves. No outside influence will ever be able to destroy what we done built. Dis us, Ma, our family. A family dat I fucked up. I hurt not just you, but I hurt dem too, and that is a mistake I don’t ever wanna make again. I am so sorry, Ma. You ready, can I open the door to our future, and you walk in it wit me?”

  She wiped the tear that had fallen from the corner of her eye. She tried to hold it in, I knew this was what I had longed for. I hated the fact that I fucked up, but she had to respect the fact I was trying to clean what I got dirty.

  “I’m ready.”

  I gave her a warm hug and kissed the top of her head before I let her go. “I love you, Victoria White.”

  ************

  Victoria

  Jody and I stepped hand in hand into a sea of baby blue rocking horses and pink bows. Since we knew we were at least having one boy, Karley and I appliqued the wall with the rocking horses. I had shown Karley the pink bows and I told her if Baby B was a girl, this would be the set that I wanted and Karley remembered. She must have gone out and purchased that stuff after I called her.

  Sincere’s crib was decorated in the traditional blue and white bedding and a brown bear dressed as a baseball player, sat in the corner. I picked up the stuffed animal and brought him to my chest. It was so surreal. I was living out my dream of being a successful wife and mother, but my husband had yet to realize he was married. I put the bear back in his resting place at the foot of the crib and I admired the setup of the nursery. There was a cherry wood changing table between the cribs, and it was fully loaded with all the baby necessities, like diapers, wipes, and baby powder. I made my way over to Serenity’s matching crib which had been stripped down to the bare mattress and there was an envelope sitting right in the middle. I looked back at Jody with questioning eyes as he stood propped up at the doorframe. He raised his hands in the air and shrugged his shoulders. I slightly rolled my eyes, and got back to the matter at hand, the envelope.

  Hey, V, if you reading this, you home, and probably about to feast on the glorious meal that slack ass Jody had me fix. I guess because yo ass ain’t no good in the kitchen, unless it’s bent ova the table! Lol! But for real, you now I couldn’t let my niece sleep on that ugly green bedding, so I took it upon myself to take it back and exchange if for something more fitting.

  Oh, Lord, I thought. Karley can be so extra at times, ain’t no telling what I was about to find.

  Now, don’t trip, I replaced the green for something pink. The bags are underneath this crib. Look, like, love! Oh, hurry up and get yo shit together, bitch, we need to talk.

  Love always, Karley

  Jody came over to me and lifted the bags from underneath the crib. I held my breath for a few minutes as I expected to see something outlandish. Hot pink and zebra print, leopard print, something loud. Not that Karley had bad taste, she was just different. I retrieved the baby bed in bag and smiled.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” I said out loud. There was the frilly pink comforter with the letter S embroidered in the middle, and pink and white satin bows adorned the corners. The white crib sheet was covered in pink bows as well. The set was so pretty.

  “One more bag to open,” Jody stated as he began taking Serenity’s bedding from my hands and replacing it with the other bag. I removed the exact bedding from the second bag that was in the first. Only difference was this one was blue. No bows, but rocking horses instead, and the same embroidered S in the center. We had seen the set one day while walking though Babies R Us, and I knew I wanted it. I just didn’t have names picked out, or know what the other baby was, so I was afraid to make that purchase.


  The nursery was amazing. I couldn’t have done it any better had I done it myself. I had no complaints at all. Karley was more to me than I sometimes let on. She was my rock, my strength, and my girl. I didn’t even worry too much about the nursery because I knew she would help me all the way. The majority of the work that had been done already, she did it while I sat in the glider in the corner and talked her head off. Neither of us had too many people we could call friends because these females around here were so shady and shiesty. Who had time for all that?

  “Want me to put on the bed stuff, cuz if so, go on take it out?” Jody asked, breaking the silence and my train of thought.

  “Yea, may as well, they gon’ need a place to sleep, but lemme throw it in the wash right quick. You did get the baby detergent, right?” I asked while unzipping the bedding bag. Just as I removed all the contents, there between the pre-folded sheets was a tiny gift box.

  “What is this? Oh, my God. Oh, my God!” I squealed with excitement. “Jody, you didn’t. How did you know? I mean I know how you knew, but like when? Thank you so much, Daddy. I love it!” I grabbed Jody and squeezed him with all the strength I could muster. That little box held a Le Vain chocolate diamond ring set in vanilla gold. My new favorite piece of jewelry had chocolate diamonds in the center, and white diamonds on either side of the white gold band. It was breathtaking. Only Karley’s ol’ snitching ass knew I wanted that ring. I figured she told Leon and Leon told Jody, anything to keep me happy and keep us together.

  “Vic, I wasn’t lying when I said we were walking into our future. This isn’t an I’m sorry ring, this is a promise ring. I promise to do right by you. I promise to be a father to those babies in there. I promise to be the man you need and the husband you deserve. I’ma be there, Ma. I’ma make us whole. You don’t even have to make me nothing but one promise.” Jody stared in my eyes as he teared up.